We found when we removed all of the meds (which originally we thought was a temporary detox to kind of start over), the behaviours we were left with were easier to deal with than the side effects and meds!
It took about 30 days to wean him off of everything. Amazingly he came back to life....there were parts of his personality that returned that I didn't even realize were missing. It should be said at the same time I made this decision i also made the decision to homeschool--dealing with the school system was driving us both mad!!!!
During this time we used behaviour modification...mostly directed by me with the assistance of a Behavioural Therapist and OT who came to our home once every two weeks. Without the stress of school and the fact that by some miracle without all the meds he was finally sleeping 8 hours a night he was more open to different strategies and plans. The first thing was to get him out of my bed! He hadn't slept in his own since he was an infant....it took a bit but we now have 100% success in that area...and he is in bed by 10!! We them moved to trying to just keep regular schedules and working on basic life skills such as hygeine, etc.
He returned to school last Sept in a new school and is doing better than the first time. We still have hiccups...one of the biggest is his father and I are divorced and he is back and forth between two homes. We have mood swings, of course major social issues with his peers, and this fear issue which is extremely life interrupting--which is why we are considering a new med. Apparently this one is completely different than anything else. I am going today to the specialist....I am still undecided. His dad wants to try it--but he sees more sever behaviours at his home than I do. I am torn between wanting to help him if this is the drug that may do it....and fear that I will slowly start to lose again all of the amazing traits that have come back.
I want to say I am not anti med....for us I decided to detox him to start again. We started medicating him when they told us he was adhd...we then kept getting more diagnoses which meant more meds...in the end I didn't know what were my son's behaviours and what were meds and side effects. I truly thought once he was off of everything we would see what we were left with and choose meds based on behaviours....I didn't expect he would do so much better than he was.
I share my experiences but try to avoid offering advice. However, in this case, I would say if you are frustrated with meds and side effects perhaps at least a detox would be helpful. Strip it all away and see what you are left with, do some of those dreadful scales etc the dr's love to have us fill out, without any meds. Then decide what symptoms you need to medicate.