OT: Restroom Vent

[JudithM]

I try to remember that there are those individuals with invisible disabilities who use a handicapped stall in the rest room. I am one of those people! I know this topic has been raised before & some of the same points have been made before, but I would be really upset if someone blocked me into the stall.

 

[Cass]

The Manager handled the situation beautifully, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy and goes to show that there are just as many intelligent, professional & compassionate people as their are idiots.

 

[Lives4Disney]

I try to remember that there are those individuals with invisible disabilities who use a handicapped stall in the rest room. I am one of those people! I know this topic has been raised before & some of the same points have been made before, but I would be really upset if someone blocked me into the stall.

My thoughts exactly! I read this post regarding blocking the mom & kids in the stall and gasped. I understand the frustration, but you really don't know other peoples' situations just by looking at them. My daughter is severely visually impaired and sometimes does not have her white cane, she looks to all a normal kid - she is scared in the crowded bathrooms to use her own stall as she is afraid she may not be able to find me after. She is almost 9 so obviously old enough to do it on her own, but isn't comfortable with that. I also have a 5 yr old so we go together. I usually stand right outside her stall door, but sometimes it is ME that REALLY has to go!! We try for the companion restrooms, but they are far & few between and many times being used. We do the best we can to try and leave the handicapped stalls free, but there are those odd situations.....

Just realize that not everyone has an obvious disability. If someone purposefully blocked my girls and myself in, I would be really embarrassed and shocked and my girls would be freaked out.

Lives4Disney

 

[JudithM]

The chain is new here in Pensacola . . . Smokey Bones is the name of the restaurant.

We happen to stumble upon a Smokey Bones about 20 miles from us. We have eaten there a few times. The service & the food were both very good. I'm glad to know they treat their guests/customers well througout the chain.

 

[Selket]

I too was wondering if the woman had an "invisible" disability. I know my MIL has terrible knees and had knee replacement surgery last summer. She walks and doesn't use a wheelchair but needs the bars in the HC restroom to steady herself up and down.

I have no idea what the laws are concerning HC restrooms - are they only to be used by individuals in wheelchairs? If not, how can you tell who has a disability of the type that needs to use that restroom and who doesn't just by looking at them?

 

[Sue & Co.]

Here in the UK we have a system called the RADAR system whereby some handicapped restrooms have a special lock on them. The key can be bought by people with a disability (invisible or otherwise) for £2.50 and then the key allows access to all restrooms which are part of the scheme. These are sometimes in public areas such as railway stations and sometimes in places like theme parks but as you can only get in with a key other people cannot use them! If common standards could be agreed worldwide this could surely be done everywhere and would eliminate the problem.

sue

 

[Buckimion]

Phsycology of those who use handicapped stalls unnecessarily:

Insecurity & Vunerability - Most handicap stalls are placed on the ends backed by walls. Lets face it, nothing makes us feel more vunerable than having our pants down around our ankles. It has to be an response ingrained since caveman days to find the most defendable spot we can. Nothing like a solid wall behind you. Some people also can't deal with the natural sounds that come from theirselves or others when we do our buisness. Going to the end stall removes you from as much of these as possible. I've noticed a few places moving the HC stall to the first in line and it is used much less than those on the end.

Any port in a storm - This one really doesn't belong here as I consider it more 'necessary' than 'unnecessary'. (Which is why I'm not considering those with kids as either necessary or not) When ya gotta go...

And lets face it...some people are just jerks.

Comments? Additions?

 

[mariolatry]

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this but sometimes it really is "any port in a storm" If there is a line out the door and the HA stall is open, should it remain unused just in case a person with a disability happens to come in at that time? What if no person who "needs" that stall comes in all evening? Should everyone in line just stand there and regret that 64 ounce soda they drank? If a person who comes in "needs" that stall for whatever reason, I'm all for letting them have first dibs but if it's the only one that's open, it's probably going to be used.

(The difference between HA parking spots and toilet stalls being that no one HAS to park at that store. Everyone HAS to go to the bathroom eventually and it's a lot harder to legislate that as the dynamics of urgency come in to play.....)

Or as someone told me when I was a full-time caregiver and was waiting in line at the bathroom in Target, "The government promised me the facilities would exist. They didn't promise me that I would always be first in line".

Edited because I forgot to respond to the OP:
There was no reason for that woman to be so nasty. That stinks. It sounds like you got a good restaurant manager though!

 

[minkydog]

(
Or as someone told me when I was a full-time caregiver and was waiting in line at the bathroom in Target, "The government promised me the facilities would exist. They didn't promise me that I would always be first in line".

No flames from me. I use the handicapped stall when Christian is with me, partly for his convenience and mine. He's a big kid now, almost 5ft tall, and as I am pooh-sized myself, there is NO WAY we can both fit into a regular stall. Heck, even when he is not with me I opt for hte larger stall, when I can simply because I have more room and less claustrophobia. Please don't back your ECV in front of my door!

 

[videogal1]

Well. I feel bad for any one in this type of position.

However, if the woman wants to use it and no-one else is going to, then fine.

I think she could have said, "I'm sorry. When I came in it was empty - .

Funny thing about that statement....OF COURSE IT WAS EMPTY. Who uses one that is not? but empty one minute does not guarantee that someone qualified to use that stall won't need to use it the the next.

I can't tell you the number of times I've needed an HA stall with several single stalls available at the same time and the HA stall is being used by someone perfectly able to use one of the singles...
"But it was empty when I got here"....

Right...... So were a multitude of others.....GRRR...

 

[eeyore45]

*sigh, I remember when I was " younger and healthier" we went to a Cub game - and there was an attendant that made sure no one used the handicap, only for handicap! And there was a very long line!!

FF now I do use the stalls that have "hand bars" (sometimes all stalls have them, but some are wheelchair wide - ) I have to have the hand bars, and it totally embarrasses me! No I dont "look" bad, my back, knees, and now the stupid foot, I cant get "down" (I'm tall) and up without help!

I cant imagine how awful it would be to be in a stall when someone in a wheelchair has to have the stall!!

 

[Densgirl]

One of my pet peeves. DS actually soiled himself waiting for a woman to come out of the handicap stall in AK. I was so angry because there were several stalls empty(usually I just keep it to myself and think they must not understand how important it is for DS and others to have the bars, extra room for his chair, etc.). I actually said something to the woman but only because she laughed coming out of the stall while saying "Oooo, so sorry but my DD is training, you know how it is." Well actually I do b/c even though DS is 15 he is still trying to train and has been for 13 years! Not his fault he can't master it and I'm thankful he still wants to try after all these years. Thank goodness he had on a Depends so the accident wasn't as bad as it could be but this woman had no problem admitting to me that she didn't need the toilet, she used it for convenience. Worst part was DS and I go back outside to meet up with my brother and here is the woman telling her husband and they are both smirking about DS still training. Something to the effect of how if he hasn't gotten it by now, ha ha ha. I am very grateful that DS has shown me that people like this don't matter. He just wanted to get clean, dry and get on another ride. LOL.

I applaud the manager and Smokey Bones for all they did to make your situation right. Good for them. So sorry you all had to endure all that just to get MIL to the bathroom though.

 

[minkydog]

I am very grateful that DS has shown me that people like this don't matter. He just wanted to get clean, dry and get on another ride. LOL.

Parents like you are my heroes. I'm right behind you, with my DS10. He tries so hard and I don't know if he'll ever "get it", but his determination keeps me going. You have the right attitude, Mom. Maybe someday it will happen for your son.

 

[welovedis]

and the HA stall is being used by someone perfectly able to use one of the singles...

Not trying to drag this on and out, but I have stopped making judgements on who is/is not perfectly "able". There is no way to tell by looking at someone IMO.

 

[goudaman40]

Sorry folks . . . I didn't mean to cause such a heated debate on the restroom issue. I am fully aware of invisiable disabilities (have several friends/family with ID).

My vent was because of a perfectly capable woman that made a huge ordeal out of the entire situation. If MIL could of held it, we would have gone to the store next door . . . but it took all of her might to hold it the extra 5 min. to speak with the manager & go to the men's room. What irratated me was her rude responses and the way she tried to "man handle" the manager.

I made her response DISBoard rated . . . I gave y'all the cliff notes version, because her rant went as far as stating about her family members being in the military and because of that, it gave her the right to use any toliet that her tushy wanted! I had to get out of their quickly before the Marine Wife in me came out.

I just wish that there were restrooms here in the states, like there are overseas for the disabled. I would be more than willing to pay for a "special key" for my MIL and anyone else that needs the restroom to not have to worry about the rude people. The only thing I can say is for every 1 bad person we have encountered there are 50 GREAT/WONDERFUL/AMAZING individuals with a kind smile that make our day!

Thanks to all of you for your kindness and smiles on day's that seem to be running away from us!

 

[Nik's Mom]

Talking Hands I agree with you. Do these people think that the grab bars are there for decoration? Why should the needs of people with children come before those of us without kids? I will make an exception for moms who need to use the changing station inside the handicapped stalls.

And why the heck do they put changing stalls in there? I hate when they do that. I feel so guilty using that stall just to change my sons diaper.
To the op, sorry that some idiot was that rude to you and MIL!

 

[SueM in MN]

What I usually do which has had good results is say to my DD (not in an overly loud or dramatic voice, just kind of nice), "Oh, there is someone in the wheelchair stall. We'll have to wait until they are done."
Sometimes, the person in the stall will yell out that they are almost done. No one has ever gotten mad, we often get an apology from the person when they come out of the stall, sometimes they say they did not realize it was a handicapped stall until after they were in, sometimes they hold the door open for us and ask if we need any other help.

It sounds like nothing would have helped with the OP's situation, but anyway, I wanted to offer what we do.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Disabled restroom stalls are a big problem. For one thing a lot of them aren't big enough. I think the ADA should have made specific dimensions...I don't think baby changing tables should ever be in handicap stalls because that takes away the purpose. As it is there is only one stall. I think it should be more towards the front, too. In my family, there are three of us in wheelchairs and we all need the wheelchair stall. It takes us 3x as long to use the restroom-usually 45 minutes to an hour because of issues. My Dad has to help my sister and I and he hates standing in line (frequently there isn't enough room for all 3 wheelchairs to stand in line). We've worked a plan where my mom (who can transfer herself) goes through the line with my grandma (who uses a regular stall). After mom and grandma are done-Mom stays in the stall holding it while grandma gets my sister and she and mom tag out and then she gets me while Dad holds the stall. This way Dad doesn't have to stand in line inside the restroom but since he and I and my sister would've been standing together we're not cutting or blockaiding the bathroom... I think that if there is someone that needs the handicap stall in a long line-they should be allowed to go to the handicap stall directly-everyone else has 5, 10, 15 chances while we have one...

It's pretty sad when you have to make a plan to pee...

To the OP-sorry you had to experience this rudeness...

Christamae

 

[Andrew Bichard]

Disabled restroom stalls are a big problem. For one thing a lot of them aren't big enough. I think the ADA should have made specific dimensions...I don't think baby changing tables should ever be in handicap stalls because that takes away the purpose.
Christamae

I believe that the ADA does lay down minimum sizes. The problem is that many stalls were built before ADA and ADA is only retroactive in certain circumstances such as extensive refurbishment. When you go to Disney you will find the size of handicap stalls is bigger in the more recently built parks.

A particular problem here in the UK, where baby changing tables are also put in the handicap stalls, is not so much the tables themselves (which fold up), but the clutter of extra waste bins that go with them, making it near imossible to turn a wheelchair in the stall.

Andrew

 

[SueM in MN]

I believe that the ADA does lay down minimum sizes. The problem is that many stalls were built before ADA and ADA is only retroactive in certain circumstances such as extensive refurbishment. When you go to Disney you will find the size of handicap stalls is bigger in the more recently built parks.

A particular problem here in the UK, where baby changing tables are also put in the handicap stalls, is not so much the tables themselves (which fold up), but the clutter of extra waste bins that go with them, making it near imossible to turn a wheelchair in the stall.

Andrew

You are right on both counts.
The ADA has very specific measurements for how big the stall needs to be, but as you mention, they don't have to be made larger retroactively.
Even before the ADA, there were guidelines, but the requirements were not really planned with wheelchair users who would be transferring out of their wheelchairs mostly by themselves in mind. I believe the older guidelines were all set by people who did not use wheelchairs and it has only been recently that people with disabilities are usually involved in design. And some of the stalls look very large to someone who has never been in one with a wheelchair, so they see all that "extra" space and think it's a great place to put a baby changing station.

(I know there were guidelines before the ADA because my dad worked as a construction supervisor for commercial buildings - mostly medical facilities - in the mid 1960s to early 1970s. I remember looking at his specification books with fascination because I was considering architecture as a career.)

I have been in some handicapped stalls with DD that were large enough except that they placed 2 very large waste containers in the stall to hold the diaper waste - which made it difficult to turn the wheelchair. DD tends to just push them where ever she can with her wheelchair, but even with me in to help, some of the stalls have no place to put the extra trash container.