Should I force my kids to go to Disney?

[40ariel]

On our last two trips, 2 of our kids (now ages 18 and 16) were absolutely horrible. They don’t want to leave the room, when in the parks they complain about absolutely everything and whine constantly about just wanting to go back to the resort. They whine and complain incessantly. They made the rest of us miserable. The thing is, we’ve gone to WDW every year of their lives and they’ve always loved it, not sure what’s happened lately. While talking about our next trip they both said they don’t want to go and are begging us to just let them stay home. DH thinks we should let them stay since they’re miserable there anyway, but for me, this is a family trip and it wouldn’t feel right going without them. Plus it feels like they’re being brats and getting what they want. It really upsets me that they don’t want to go. But if I make them go they’ll be absolutely miserable. Anyone been through anything similar? Any advice?

Sometimes my youngest gets quite tired after a day in the parks, I have found trying to schedule days off really helps to have a relaxing trip. However, my teens are thrilled to go, but they do let me know that sometimes I plan too much. (early entry to park close!!)
I try to prioritize the rides that are important and let everything else go. I also prioritize sit down meals as eating regularly is very important as well as snacks (disney ice cream!) to keeping my youngest energized. We go to resorts that they like as well and make them part of the planning process.
If some of your kids don't want to go to the parks, one parent could stay at the resort with the kids for a resort day and the other parent could go to the parks with the other kids. And then switch the next park day.
I don't think they are being brats, they are just telling you what they prefer. Maybe ask them if they went to Disney, what would they like to do? Maybe they would enjoy a day at the waterparks, or venturing out to Universal, Islands of Adventure, or Volcano Bay? Sometimes being part of the planning process makes a big difference.

 

[bluezy]

the decline in landline phones has helped facilitate being detected after the fact GREATLY. i knew of/attended many a multi day party at a home where the parents had left their 18+ 'very responsible kid' home while they vacationed. many went undetected for weeks.............until the landline bill arrived and the parents discovered the hundreds into thousands of dollars in long distance and 800 porn calls the party guests made without the hosts knowledge i recall one where the parents did'nt catch on until a month or so later when the mom discovered some pot plants sprouting out of her potted house plants where people had stubbed out their joints then mom started playing detective and finaly caught sight of the footprint on the ceiling of one of the rooms.

We made it very difficult for our kids to host parties when we were out of town...even when they were over 21 and still living at home. Our house, our rules. We installed security cameras all around the outside of the house. We can see anyone coming or going on any side of the house and particularly have cameras at each door. One year our then 22yo stayed behind while the rest of us went to spend Thanksgiving with out-of-state family. I don't remember why he stayed home, but it was a legitimate reason, not "I don't feel like going". He asked if he could have 2 or 3 friends over one night while we were gone. We were fine with that but went over the rules (no underage drinking, no smoking of any kind in the house, no one drives home drunk, etc.). Well, I guess he forgot about the cameras. The night he was having "2 or 3" friends over, there were suddenly 8 or 9 cars in the driveway/parking area. I recognized everyone walking in the house and knew they were all 22 or older so I wasn't too concerned. I just texted him and asked him if 2 or 3 in traditional math means 10 or 12 in new math. He knew he was caught. The house was spotless when we got home....much nicer than when we had left.

 

[bluezy]

I jokingly told our kids to not worry about us when their future "other" families wanted them to go to their homes at Thanksgiving or Christmas. "Dad and I will be at Disneyworld!" Their faces fell and immediately whined..."But we want to go to Disneyworld too!" I suspect our future experiences will be similiar to your family!

We teased for years that when the youngest child started college we were dropping her off at her dorm and heading straight to Disney from there with NO KIDS. We were only half joking. Logistically, it just didn't work out for us to do that when we dropped her off this past fall, but I'm tempted to do it next year (2025) because that's the one time of year (September) that it would be very difficult for 3 of the 5 kids to invite themselves along on our Disney trip.

 

[barkley]

We made it very difficult for our kids to host parties when we were out of town...even when they were over 21 and still living at home. Our house, our rules. We installed security cameras all around the outside of the house. We can see anyone coming or going on any side of the house and particularly have cameras at each door. One year our then 22yo stayed behind while the rest of us went to spend Thanksgiving with out-of-state family. I don't remember why he stayed home, but it was a legitimate reason, not "I don't feel like going". He asked if he could have 2 or 3 friends over one night while we were gone. We were fine with that but went over the rules (no underage drinking, no smoking of any kind in the house, no one drives home drunk, etc.). Well, I guess he forgot about the cameras. The night he was having "2 or 3" friends over, there were suddenly 8 or 9 cars in the driveway/parking area. I recognized everyone walking in the house and knew they were all 22 or older so I wasn't too concerned. I just texted him and asked him if 2 or 3 in traditional math means 10 or 12 in new math. He knew he was caught. The house was spotless when we got home....much nicer than when we had left.

nothing that high tech when i was a youngerling. the only security system a parent might employ was an eagle eyed neighbor who might be willing to step in and break a party up (or if they had contact info for the parents call them and clue them in). our first home back in '91 we garnered 2 households of neighbors with a 'cold war' that had been ongoing for years due to a single parental vacation. the mom in the one household was much more lax with her teen daughter than the dad so she knew her daughter was planning to throw a little 'get together' while mom and dad were gone for a few days but publicly (wink-wink to daugher) standing by her husband's 'absolutly no company over' directive. the husband (unbeknown to the wife) had asked a neighbor to keep an eye on their place and to call him if anything went wrong but to please step up if it was necessary. well............the daughter's little get together quickly evolved into a rager party and the neighbor could'nt connect with the husband by phone so instead of confronting dozens and dozens of drunk teens he called the police to break it up. the daughter and the mom held a grudge for years, the husband took the stance (w/his wife and daugher) that the neighbor had overreacted (to keep the peace with them) but it was an unplesant situation for everyone on the cul-de-sac.

 

[CAPSLOCK]

I know you are all set for this trip, but another option to consider (next year?) might be to stay at a DVC resort but do SeaWorld, Discovery Cove, and maybe Busch Gardens. There is plenty for the younger ones to do at those parks, and the big coasters might get the 2 older ones excited to go also.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I know you are all set for this trip, but another option to consider (next year?) might be to stay at a DVC resort but do SeaWorld, Discovery Cove, and maybe Busch Gardens. There is plenty for the younger ones to do at those parks, and the big coasters might get the 2 older ones excited to go also.

This is a good idea, we’ve never done any of those parks. Always been so focused on Disney and Universal

 

[georgina]

We teased for years that when the youngest child started college we were dropping her off at her dorm and heading straight to Disney from there with NO KIDS. We were only half joking. Logistically, it just didn't work out for us to do that when we dropped her off this past fall, but I'm tempted to do it next year (2025) because that's the one time of year (September) that it would be very difficult for 3 of the 5 kids to invite themselves along on our Disney trip.

I didn’t get to Disney until I was an adult with 3 kids. However, my dad had a work thing there so my parents went and left my brother-in-law to take me to college as a freshman. I guess after they took the 5 oldest to college they figured I could fend for myself.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I hope you REALLY know your kids.

 

[bdrex28]

Update: I talked to my kids and brought up several ways they could still go and stay in the resort and have independence but they’ve chosen to stay home. It will be sad to not have them there but I’m sure it will be a better trip for us without being stressed out by their unhappiness and will be better for them too. We’re renting a beach house in South Carolina this summer and a mountain cabin in the fall, and they will be going on those trips so they’ll still have a “family trip” with us this year. There’s just something about having the whole family together at WDW. I guess it’s nostalgia. Growing up all of our trips were with my immediate family, my grandparents and my aunt and cousins and on our trips now my parents and sometimes others always go with us so I associate Disney with big family trips I guess. I’ll just have to get used to this and be happy my other 3 kids will happily be there.

First of all as a dad of 27, 21 and 16, your kids are not alone in their lack of desire to do a Disney trip as they age and especially stay in the room, do phone all day and sleep late. That's part of that age. They have outlets (not always great ones) that most of us didn't have when we were their age. We may think it's strange, and believe me I do, but it's kind of the age they are at and the things they have to stimulate them.

Who knows, after staying at home and not going one year they may end up missing it and want to go next year. I'm sure after going every single year it may have lost some of the luster for them at that age. Next year they may say; "Mom, are we going to disney this year?" and if not, they most likely will at some point.

 

[DCLMP]

This is a good idea, we’ve never done any of those parks. Always been so focused on Disney and Universal

Have you been the other parks on the left coast. Your kids might enjoy a trip to Cali.

 

[bsmcneil]

I saw OP is letting the two kids stay home, which I think is for the best. I just wanted to relay a cute DVC moment with my son who is pretty much over WDW but is too young to stay home. We went the week of July 4th, 2023, during that record heat wave. It was brutal. I couldn't handle going to the parks, and my son wanted to stay in the room. We drew the shades and binged "Wednesday" all day in bed, ordered QS from Primo Piatto, napped, and just had a great time together chatting about the show.

Out of the entire week at WDW, THAT'S the memory I have from the trip that's strongest -- spending quiet time together in AC. You'll get to enjoy family trips again with them, and maybe it'll be at WDW, but you just need a break.

I have a similar memory (not of family, per se). But an important vacation, all sorts of fancy things planned to a T. Probably the strongest/most lasting memory of it all was staying in the hotel room, ordering room service, and watching "Brave" for the first time instead of trying to push through to do all the things we planned.

 

[pindecisive]

Is swearing off of Disney forever a bad thing? I have and it's really opened up a lot of options to see and do other things.

To the OP, Disney doesn't stay the same for everyone forever. Remember, you're asking advice from people on a Disney forum And with some exceptions participants will all pretty much agree with you.

I don't think I could agree more with you.

Jamaica was gorgeous and a 2 hour flight from FLL. We stayed at the Caves hotel - it's amazing (though adults only).
Costa Rica is 3 hours away (with a nice long car ride) from FLL, see Monkey Beach and the volcano.
How about Maui, go to Monkeypod or Mamas Fish House.
What about Portland. Drink at Hele Pele, go to Powells City of Books, eat at Mothers.
What about New Orleans? Enjoy the music, see a parade, eat at Shaya, swing in the massive swings at the park.
Go to New York and eat dumplings and pizza, see the Fearless Girl, gawk at the Statue of Liberty.

There are so many places that aren't that far from DL or WDW that I would take my kids to before I'd take them to Disney. I like Disney and we go often, but I'd much rather explore the world and have DL be something we do every other year for a day trip.

 

[Cadiewampus]

On our last two trips, 2 of our kids (now ages 18 and 16) were absolutely horrible. They don’t want to leave the room, when in the parks they complain about absolutely everything and whine constantly about just wanting to go back to the resort. They whine and complain incessantly. They made the rest of us miserable. The thing is, we’ve gone to WDW every year of their lives and they’ve always loved it, not sure what’s happened lately. While talking about our next trip they both said they don’t want to go and are begging us to just let them stay home. DH thinks we should let them stay since they’re miserable there anyway, but for me, this is a family trip and it wouldn’t feel right going without them. Plus it feels like they’re being brats and getting what they want. It really upsets me that they don’t want to go. But if I make them go they’ll be absolutely miserable. Anyone been through anything similar? Any advice?

let them stay home

 

[iivye]

I don't remember what age my daughter said she no longer wanted to go to the parks or on a DCL cruise with us. She was in her late teens. We never made her go on vacation. She just stayed with Grandma while we went on vacation. It worked out well and everyone was happy.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

Have you been the other parks on the left coast. Your kids might enjoy a trip to Cali.

Never have, but been thinking about planning a trip there. Kids would probably all like to go there since it’s different and I’d love to see the original Disney park.

 

[monsterkitty]

I would rent my DVC week on Redweek or somewhere safe and then use that money to rent a week from someone at another location.

Or, bank the points this year and go to Aulani and another Hawaiian Island next year. Maybe a break from WDW would help.

 

[aprilgail]

Why don't you all sit down and plan a trip that EVERYONE will like? I always discussed trips with my daughter and we came up with places we both wanted to visit- would never go on a trip that we all would not enjoy together.

 

[jeneric997]

OP sounds like you came up with a plan. I know you are a little sad they aren't coming, but look at it as an opportunity for the younger ones to do things they like more. As my kids got older, I had to take them separately and I found that I enjoyed those trips even more than the whole family ones. There is something about getting everyone to agree, or in the same place or to just make a simple decision, that is so much better with less people! I joked I was going to make a rule of no more than one other person with me on Disney trips.

One of my kids now works at Disney. It stinks for her, that most of her days off, are spent going to Disney. She is finally getting a real vacation with us. We are going on a cruise, after a few days at Disney

 

[mom2rtk]

Why don't you all sit down and plan a trip that EVERYONE will like? I always discussed trips with my daughter and we came up with places we both wanted to visit- would never go on a trip that we all would not enjoy together.

That can be really hard in a larger group like the OP has. And what if the little ones really DO want to go back to Disney? The older ones got to go at that age.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Why don't you all sit down and plan a trip that EVERYONE will like? I always discussed trips with my daughter and we came up with places we both wanted to visit- would never go on a trip that we all would not enjoy together.

The OP has a summer beach trip planned and a fall cabin trip planned for this year that the entire family will be going on. Disney isn’t their only family vacation for the year.

I don’t think the OP should have to give up Disney if it’s something she enjoys and other family members also enjoy.

When my son told us he was over Disney I just went with DD and we did other family trips for the year. It’s something we enjoy and shouldn’t have to stop going just because he wasn’t into it anymore. We also don’t do Disney every year. It’s a 2-4 year deal for us.