Susan's Quest for Good Health After a Celiac Diagnosis (comments greatly appreciated)

[larry's girl]

Good morning, everyone. Quick check in from me.

I checked with my two "main" attorneys (the ones I have to make sure get what they need before everybody else) and they are fine with the extra time at lunch. The partner I support even went so far as to say that even on the days we get really busy, they will work around my schedule so that I can get in the exercise I need. Sweet, huh? Now I just have to make myself get in the gym and do it. I am going to do laundry and pack my workout clothes on Sunday night and come in here Monday prepared to get back to moving. I am hoping to be able to get my family to walk with me some on the weekends (I really like that suggestion, Tracy), but I'm not sure how successful that will be. Larry is looking for extra work, and if he finds it, I'm pretty sure he will be working a lot of weekend hours. We'll just have to see how it goes, but at least I will be getting in my walks through the week, anyway!

I changed my signature a bit - added a quote from Walt Disney that I "stole" from another DIS'er. Hope she doesn't mind, but it seems to fit where I am in life right now and I wanted it up where I could see it each time I post. Just putting plans into motion to change my life for the better has lightened my mood. Each time I made dinner this week when I would really rather have grabbed a salad from Sonic or ordered Chinese take-out, it felt like I was that little bit of money closer to living in Florida. May sound crazy, but it helps my attitude to think of it that way. I am sure that is how I will approach all the extra hours I'll be working to pay down debt. It is a sacrifice, to be sure, especially since it will cut down on the time I spend with Larry and Tara (and very little normally interferes with that, believe me), but I am going to try hard to remember that this is what we ALL want to do to reduce the stress in our lives and spend our days making magic for others instead of just earning a paycheck. I think I am getting closer to landing a contract for some freelance work, so keep your fingers crossed that it works out. Even if it doesn't, I WILL find a way to bring in extra money in whatever ways I can until we get where we want to go.

I am feeling fairly decent today, so I am hoping to get a lot done in the house this weekend with organizing and de-cluttering. May even try my hand at listing some stuff for sale on craigslist or e-bay. We'll see how it goes, but I am definitely going to start getting rid of the "stuff" that we don't need or want anymore. That will take some time, but even a little bit every weekend will add up until we can see the difference.

I am really starting to feel like some of the weight I have been carrying around for so long is going to start lifting soon, in many areas of my life. With a revised exercise plan in place, I am hoping for some weight loss to happen (that would be the physical weight). With a little time invested each weekend, I am hoping for some de-cluttering in my home life (that would be the mental weight). And with putting in the extra work hours, the debt is going to start going away a little at a time (that would be the emotional weight). Freedom is coming my way - although it may come slowly - it is definitely coming my way!

I hope all of you have a fabulous weekend. I will try to post on Monday and let you know how my weekend efforts paid off!

Susan

 

[postesf]

Hey!!! What a happy positive post! How cool that your bosses will let you exercise during the day! That would be much better for me than early AM for PM. I think it absolutely wonderful that it is going to work out for you! Yay!!!

Sounds like you have an awesome plan in place to get things done and get where you need to be. I'm so happy for you guys!!!

Have a great weekend and happy organizing, purging and ebaying!

Stacie

 

[momof2minnies]

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like you are ready to begin a new and happy phase in your life. I am truly happy for you.

Your bosses sound very supportive that is great.Do they know of your potential moving plans?

Fingers are crossed for your freelance work.

Have a great one,
Linda

 

[windwalker]

Susan, close your eyes and take a few deep slow breaths. Inside each of us is a force, a power, lets call it your spirit. That spirit inside is reaching out to you stop running from it and embrace it. Mentally plant your feet, draw your sword and use your power to guide your way. There are demons at every step, but you are stronger. Every time you don't give in you get stronger still.

That wonderfully strong spirit within you is reaching out to you, everyone here is reaching out to you. You are a strong woman and so totally worth the effort.

Let "exercise" become an all day long thing not a thing you have to schedule and grieve over if you can't make the appointment. Let everything you do become exercise. That is what I had to do. I'm 56 years old and smoked for 35 years. I was once at the point that I got winded washing my car window at the gas station while I was getting gas.

There are a zillion ways to do this. I now do everything I can by hand instead of with the labor savers, I mow my grass with a push mower while I have a riding mower sitting in the garage. I walk extra steps, yes every one counts. When I take a break at work I walk for ten minutes. I do an ab exercise where I tighten my abs and hold a few seconds then release, I do that at various times all day long, like when I'm talking with a patient. They never even know it.

I have to go to work now but I'll get back with you tomorrow and talk some more about how I make all day more active.

Dave

 

[windwalker]

People who are pushing their diet system try to over simplify weight loss and getting into better physical condition. The old, "It's all about calories in vs calories used", is way over simplified.

Only muscle tissue burns calories, fat, bone skin ect do not burn calories. So the body fat percentage can be thought of as how effective you are at using calories.

A better way to say it would be it would be it's not a matter of calories but how efficent your body is at processing those calories. So the thing that needs to change is the percent of muscle tissue you have. Muscle can be created just as more fat cells can be created.

Muscle is built and calories are burned by motion/work. The more active you can become the more muscle you will build.

What I do is try to stay in motion as much as possible. You need to become creative in order to make it work.

If you are sitting at a desk, move your feet up and down take turns raising and lowering a leg while your working at your desk.

When you are talking on the phone open your other hand as wide as you can and close it firmly, do this over and over till your hand and forearm are tired, then switch hands.

When you get a break, walk for the amount of time you have.

When ever you get up, stretch your arms up over your head reaching for the sky and really stretch all along your body.

House work is an excellent exercise, especially vacuuming.

You point I'm making is to think "Active motion" all the time. Yes your nutrition plan is very important but without building up your muscles, all your muscles, you are probably going to have a lot harder time of it.

Susan if I'm being out of line here with my advice just sayn so and I'll slink off. But if you want my thoughts I'll be glad to give them.

Walking Panda

 

[larry's girl]

Good morning, everyone. Quick check-in from me.

Well, the weekend didn't go as planned. First off, I ended up being on-call for an attorney all weekend and had to come in to work lots of hours, so my weekend plans had to wait. Still, the OT will go into the Florida fund, so it's all good!

Managed to get my kitchen a little more organized, but that's as far as I got with the de-cluttering effort. Will try again next weekend. Didn't get my stuff together for the gym, so will try for that tonight and see if I can hit it at lunch time tomorrow.

Linda: The attorneys I support do not know that my family and I are making definite plans to relocate, but they have commented to me in the recent past that we should think about moving to Florida because we spend so much time there and it is obvious that I am depressed when I have to come home. Those comments are always prefaced with "We would hate to lose you, but . . ." so I don't think they will be terribly surprised when we finally make the move happen (even though it will be at least a couple of years down the road).

Panda Dave: No, no, no, no, no, and again I say, NO! PLEASE don't think you are out of line. I welcome ANY AND ALL suggestions, observations and comments on my journal. If I didn't, I wouldn't have that (comments greatly appreciated) tacked onto my title. You see, I still need SO MUCH help. I have been journaling since last September. I went into detail then about my health challenges, so I won't do it again, but suffice it to say I have not been in good health for many years and I am extremely obese. Stacie is the one who convinced me I should try again to get more healthy, and I am grateful for that. I have had little success in losing any significant amount of the excess weight I carry. However, I was successful in walking my first 5K at Disney in May. I was very happy with this achievement, but it was extremely difficult and if they had enforced the 15-minute mile rule, I wouldn't have finished it. I am still badly out of shape and extremely obese. I have type II diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, my low back and knees hurt ALL THE TIME and my energy level is extremely low. Part of the energy level issue is due to the damage from celiac disease, but part of it is just that I am so heavy and out of shape that any little bit of physical activity exhausts me. I work at a desk job, and am in the process of taking on a second job that will be sedentary to make extra money to retire a large amount of debt and ready our house to be sold in preparation for moving to Florida and working for the Mouse (oh, what a dream that is - I am crossing my fingers we can make it a reality), so that means I am sitting still and in one place more than I am moving on any given day. My commute in a vanpool takes at least three hours a day, so I am sitting still then as well. I struggle with finding the time and energy to walk or otherwise work out in some way each day, and find I am unsuccessful more than I am successful lately. I am also plagued with continued stomach issues and nagging illnesses (cold/flu, sinus infection type of stuff) which my doctor says is caused by continued issues with malabsorption of vitamins/minerals due to the celiac damage. This is getting better, but it is slow. Full recovery is at least another year off, so in the meantime I am trying to deal with where I am now healthwise. I am also being treated for a systemic yeast overgrowth issue, which seems to be going well. My incessant craving for sweets is going away, which is a good thing! My doctor has recommended I see a holistic nutritionist, which I still haven't made the time or funds available for, but I will get that done in the next few weeks somehow. Still, I don't think it is my diet so much as it is lack of exercise that is hurting me now. So your thoughts about putting motion into everything I do are food for thought. Somehow I never thought about doing things at my desk to stay in motion, but it makes sense. I am going to give it a try and see what happens. THANK YOU for caring enough to offer your input - you seem to be very successful at your fitness goals, so I am more than happy for any suggestions, ideas, comments or thoughts you are willing to share.

Well, that's it for me today. Hope all of you have a great Monday!

Susan

 

[windwalker]

Susan I had read your beginning post on your journal and just kinda skimmed through it. That's why I thought the suggestion for incorperating your exercise all during the day was the best option for you.

Let me give you a little background on the silly old Panda:

I'm retired from the Air Force and all during my career I was serious about fitness both my own and my fellow warriors. This started when as a skinny picked on kid I joined the army. I was determined that I would build my puny self into a person who didn't have to worry about being the target of bullying. I volunteered for every butt kicking training I could find and eventually found myself a Pathfinder in Vietnam. I learned that fitness is often the difference in living or dying for a soldier.

So during my Air Force days I would volunteer at the gym to teach classes in the mornings, this was before the Jazzersize and the Aerobics classes were the rage. I got a group together 5 monings a week with a group that were on the weight control program. I learned a lot doing this and interacting with my "students". About 5 years before I retired I was selected to be a first sgt, then I had the clout to really make a difference. My last assignment was first sgt of the medical group where I was able to work directly with the docs and the PTs as well as the nutrition department. I had a chance to put together fitness programs for a 5000 person base population. A couple of my programs went Air Force wide.

When I retired I stopped working out, I wasn't a warrior anymore, it was time to be a civilian and just make money and rest after work. It took me 7 years and the loss of all my fitness to realize I wasn't happy anymore. I hated the way I looked, I hated the way I felt and even worse was that I knew something was missing in my life. I was in a rut a lot of people fall into. I was just waiting to die.

For some reason when I turned fifty a light went on and I snapped out of the life stuper I had been in. I started walking and eating better, I had gained over fifty pounds of weight, my 30" waist had swelled to where my 38 waist pants were cutting me in two. I walked for a year still I felt strong enouth to run again. I ran and did well getting better and faster for over a year. Then I was coming down one of our steep hills to fast and tore my achillies tendon. I couldn't run anymore without pain. Surgery to correct it could leave even more scar tissue than I had now. Finally after trying to run hurt for a year I was ready to quit. But I couldn't quit, I was finally happy again, I was fit and active and doing the races and having a ball. I decided to switch to racewalking.

Now I have a new passion and a new mission. Make walking into a mainstream exercise like running is. Walking is a different sport but it's not a lesser sport than running. My goal and personal mission is to help other people achieve their personal goals.

In the modern military a lot of warriors sit in front of a computer screen or a desk. Exercise becomes a problem. They have to find other ways to keep their fitness up. Just tightening and loosening a muscle will work it. You can do one body part at a time all through the day. The process is slow but if you keep a it, the progress will be continous. Getting up out of the chair at least every hour to stretch is important to. Just standing up walking to the water fountian and reaching for the sky and just swaying back and forth for a good full body stretch will help you not feel so stiff after beinbg at the desk all day.

Ok I'm getting to long winded here so I'll shut up. Please keep me posted on how your doing and share your thoughts about how it's going.

Walking Panda

 

[amykab]

Hi Susan,

I'm pretty new to WISH, so I hope you don't think I am some sort of weirdo stalking your journal, but I came across your's when I was checking out Stacie's journal. I've "talked" with her on Walt's warrior's and the lean mean threads.

I read most of your journal this weekend. I love reading about other people's journey's about weight loss and becoming more physically fit. It's motivational and inspirational.

Have a good day!

Amy

 

[toystoryduo]

That's great that your bosses will give you extra time at lunch to walk!


I hope you have a great week ahead!

 

[postesf]

Hey there! Does anything ever go as planned? At least working meant some extra $$$ for your FL Fund! yay! and you did get some of your kitchen organized. That's good!

It's so great they will let you workout at work! Were able to bring your clothes today? I was reading the YARC thread of the week and some of the folks on there have really good suggestions. I've never taken regular breaks, but I think I am going to calendar 15 min mid-AM and mid-Afternoon to get my stretching in. I wish I could workout at work. I would so much better mid-day than early AM or PM, but alas...no treadmills or showers here. You're very fortunate your firm offers that.

Hope all goes well this week! Tell Larry and Tara hello for me!!!

Take care of yourself!
Stacie

 

[deekaypee]

Susan:

I'm loving your Walt Disney quote--I'm so glad you've found one that's motivatational for you. (It's a particularly good one, too.)

I'll bet that the organization, decluttering, ebay strategies make you feel really good. Not only do you not need all that "stuff" (George Carlin, may he R.I.P. ), but I think doing that kind of work cements your commitment to the move. It's clearing your head of all the distractions, the "I can'ts" in your plan. Good work! Like you said, you're getting rid of all that extra weight.

And if it takes a little longer than you'd like, that's okay too. Sometimes going through--and understanding--the process is more important than seeing immediate results. Like so many things in life. Gee, I'm just filled with all sorts of life-affirming meditations today, aren't I?

Your employers/supervisors/attorneys you work for (tried to be inclusive with TPTB in that post) sound like they're being very helpful. And what's more, that they understand you. As stressful and demanding as your work there must be from the sounds of it, it must also be gratifying to have those kinds of relationship at work and to know they value your happiness. Very cool. Except for all the OT that's interfering with other things. (But a small yay for the Disney fund!)

I had no idea your carpool/commute time was three hours a day. The thought of that just exhausts me. Between that, your job, your specific health conditions (Diabetes, Celiac) and our general health, you've got a lot of challenges. I agree with Dave that little activities can make a difference--that's the way I started. Like many of us, I was/am a serious desk jockey. After all, it's the sport of choice for us geeks. A lot of the things I first started doing to get more active--and continue to do--were just to get my blood moving throughout the day.

I know you've heard many of them--parking farther away than you need to, taking the stairs, short walks around the block, ab work while seated at my desk, arm stretches, standing while on the phone. Yeah, I did all that. But I also did things that seem a little silly. I used the bathroom in my building that was the furthest away. Same with the vending machine--because I might as well admit it, I was still noshing on M&Ms and Diet Cokes in the afternoons when I began this journey. I cam up with silly excuses to move, and used them. And still use them when I need to, which is more often than I care to admit. I still have my desk-jockey tendencies, and sometimes have to force myself to carve out time to move. Two steps forward, one step back is still a net gain, right?

Anyway, I'm hoping your work week has included some steps--especially forward ones, but any movement is good, right?

 

[larry's girl]

Hello, everyone. Here's the update from me this morning.

Yesterday I managed to get my "stuff" together and got in the gym. Now, it truly seemed like a lot of effort for what I managed to accomplish. I am lugging a TON of stuff in - workout clothes and shoes, all my toiletries and personal hygiene items to shower, re-dress and make myself presentable (they have body wash, shampoo and conditioner for us, but I have to use certain products that I know are gluten-free, so I still have to lug all that stuff in), plus applying makeup twice a day now (once in the morning and once after the workout) - it is a pain, I must admit, especially since I only got in 30 minutes before my legs felt like they were going to fall off and I was seriously exhausted and figured I better quit while I was ahead. I was hoping I would feel energized and like I had a good workout. Instead I felt exhausted and achy, probably because it's been so long since I walked for any distance. Still, I know the exercise needs to happen, so I lugged everything in again (yes, I feel like a pack mule - and probably look like one, too, especially trying to cram all that stuff into my space on the van) and I will try for 35 minutes today. And yes, I know I am fortunate to have the gym, shower facilities and attorneys willing to give me the extra time in the middle of the day to get in the walk (although to be fair, I go out of my way for them when they need it, too, and they know it, so it's an equally accommodating relationship).

I am so exhausted. I was up until midnight working on sample documents to try to land a contract for some freelance work. I am super stressed about making this work. I have eczema on my face that asserts itself when I am stressed (which unfortunately is most of the time). When I go to Florida, it goes away! Right now, I look like I have chicken pox. Seriously. This is going to be a long haul. Larry says I worry too much - that if this is meant to happen, it will and I shouldn't stress over it. I wish I could just flip a switch and turn the anxiety off, but I can't. I want this SO MUCH and I am impatient to make it happen - and it won't happen if I don't figure out a way to generate some serious income from this freelance business (or in some other way that I haven't come up with yet). Oh, well, I just need to take a deep breath and have faith in myself and my dreams - it WILL happen, it's just a question of when.

Dave and Debra - Thank you very much for your practical suggestions of how to add more movement to the day. It make sense and seems doable to me, so I am trying to remember to do calf raises, standing and stretching more at my desk, and put a few extra steps into my day. When I get busy and am focused on what I'm doing, it is hard to remember, but I am hoping as I incorporate it into my routine it will become more second nature to me.

Hi, Amy! No, I don't think you're a stalker at all! I appreciate you taking the time to read my journal (my posts are usually REALLY long, so I know it took some time) and, though I don't really know how, I'm glad you found anything I had to say inspirational. I get so much strength from the people here on WISH who truly care about others without being judgmental or negative to those of us who are struggling and are not in good shape or at our ideal weight.

Stacie, I read the thread you mentioned, but unfortunately I didn't have the same reaction to it that you did. There were some who posted very practical suggestions, which I appreciated and am trying to incorporate. There were some who posted about their own schedule and what works for them, which was cool. But there were some who came across, at least to me, in a very self-righteous, holier than thou way. For example, statements like "I can't get my head around the I don't have time excuse. Do we have extra hours in the day? No, we just want it badly because we care about our health so we do it no matter what." Leaves me with the impression that if I am struggling to find time for exercise, no matter what my reasons might be, they are only excuses and I don't really care about my health since these people make time for daily exercise in spite of their own schedule challenges - and therefore I am too self-sparing and not committed to a healthy life for myself and my family. I'm sure that's not what was meant, but that's the way it came across and it made me - I think that's an indication that I need to stay off the Events/Competition board. I have no interest in competing or being in events. I just want to be healthier, regardless of the fact that I weigh over 300 pounds or that I am not having great success at losing it. I haven't quit yet, even though some days I wonder why I keep trying. I guess the alternative is an early death, and I'd like to prevent that if I can. So I think I will keep journaling and try to support the people who are cheering for ALL of us, regardless of our size or fitness level, and keep doing my personal best to be as active as possible and eat as healthily as possible. Then again, maybe I'm just grumpy and cranky because I'm so tired. That won't get better any time soon, so I guess you guys will just have to get used to it (or so I told my family). But you love me anyway, right???

So that's about it for me - hope all of you are having a good day.

Susan

 

[postesf]

Hey You!!! Yay for working out yesterday!!!

I'm so proud of you. I know it's a lot of work...the packing, showering... I can relate as I do that on meeting nights when I make it to the gym, but it's not every day. You are to be admired for that! It seems like a lot right now, but it will so be worth it!!! How did it go today??? Yay!!! I'm doing a little jig for you. (Imagine mom doing the Charleston! lol! )

Try not to get too overly offended by some of the posts. Everyone has opinions...some stronger than others. Take what can benefit you and leave the rest. No one really know anyone else's situation. Even those people have strong opinions struggle to find the time to exercise. We both used to say that. We don't have time, but we both now make time. Either you in the mornings or now at lunch and me in the mornings or the gym in the afternoon. I think the point is just to try to readjust our thinking and try to be a bit more active during the day if we can and to make exercise more of a priority. It took changing my thinking for that to happen to me. I decided it's not an option anymore, I just have to do it. You have done the same thing!

Breathe, Breathe...No one wants to look at a chicken-poxy face! lol! Are you laughing? Did I mention that Matt found out his toe and now his fingers’ breaking out was eczema? I wonder if it's the same kind you have but his manifest on his fingers. The Doc said it was a form of eczema that comes out when he was stressed. They gave him a cleanser, moisturizer and prescription crème for it.

Are you guys still coming to visit July 4 weekend? We'll be in town (I'm having a yard sale...want to bring some stuff to try to sell???).

Ok Ms. Cranky pants... Hope you enjoyed your workout and have a great afternoon!

Stacie

 

[larry's girl]

I did not intend to post again today, but I just have to share this:

Larry called a few minutes ago. I GOT THE CONTRACT!!!! AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!! I ACTUALLY GOT THE CONTRACT!!!! Happy happy, joy joy!!! Oh, I am so relieved. You have no idea how much work I put into the sample stuff to get it just right. Yay, me!!

And Stacie, it wasn't so much that I was offended. You're right, everyone has their own opinions and they are free to express them here. It's just that it made me sad - kind of like I felt at the 5K when I got double takes from the "serious" runners wondering why on earth I was there with a number pinned on my shirt. It makes me self-conscious when I'm in the gym (although everyone there treats me really well) - sometimes I feel like maybe I shouldn't even bother trying because I obviously don't have what it takes to succeed at this lifestyle change. But I know that it's just my own baggage talking and that the exercise needs to happen, so I just keep plugging away with it - trying to find a schedule that works for me and that I can be consistent with. So I got in and did 35 minutes today. One of the IT guys, who is a real exercise enthusiast, told me later in the cafeteria (as I was gobbling my lunch) that I am "walking happier" (whatever that means). I think he's full of it, but at least he's trying to be encouraging so I will take that in the positive spirit he meant it!

Okay, I am done (for now). Have a great evening, everybody!

Susan

 

[toystoryduo]

Congratulations on landing that contract, Susan!!!!!!!!! You did it!!!

Great job on getting to the gym! I am super proud of you!

Have a wonderful evening!

 

[AmyBeth68]

Susan...GREAT job getting the exercise in! I do know it's tough to do it, either early or during lunch, I remember having to do that when I worked in the corp world and had a little one. It takes a lot of planning and commitment. I'm proud of you for getting yourself out there, it is so very important to your health .

As for peoples' responses...,mine included possibly....you just have to take the bottom line of what people are saying, despite how it sounds, and realize that you are doing exactly what they recommend. I know it's easy to sit back and offer advice...especially without knowing the individual story....but it all came from the right place. It takes a lot of planning, commitment, will power and essentially it becomes a complete lifestyle and focus change. You are doing that...it doesn't happen over night...but you are there. So don't feel like anyone is judging you harshly.

 

[postesf]

Yay for getting the contract!!! That is great!!!

Don't say you don't have what it takes to succeed. You most definately do. You can take Walt's quote and apply to whatever is important, whether that be moving to FL or exercising. You are trying to better your life. It doesn't matter how people look at you. You set a goal for youself and you achieved that. No matter what your size. No one can take that away from you. The point is to try and you are doing that. You have heart and determination and that is what it takes.

Keep plugging away as you are. You WILL see results!

Love ya lots!
Stacie

 

[larry's girl]

Morning, everyone.

Hi, AmyBeth (to distinguish you from the other Amy who posted on my journal recently). Thanks for popping in! And no, I didn't think your post on the YARC thread was anything but positive. You offered concrete and practical suggestions on how to find time for exercise, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think it was just the posts that sounded so self-congratulatory to me, with little practical steps offered for those struggling to find time for exercise beyond "I can do it, so you can too, and if you don't then you just don't care enough," that got under my skin a little bit. For the record, none of them were from people that I have met or chatted with here on WISH. I couldn't tell you who they were, nor does it matter. They were expressing their opinions, which they are free to do. They just hit me a little wrong yesterday, mainly because I was tired, stressed and irritated with life in general. And, I will also freely admit, I have a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to the topic of taking care of your health. After having been called out in front of a crowd of people as recently as last fall for taking up too much room on a bus, and having numerous other negative experiences related to my size, I am unfortunately very self-conscious about how others perceive me. While I know that most people have better things to do than give any thought to what I weigh, there are those who do judge others based on the fact that they are obese - assuming that they are lazy, have no self-discipline, eat junk food and sweets all the time, don't care about themselves or their loved ones, etc. and so forth.

I recently read a trip report on another Disney board from a woman who went on at length about all the people she saw on her WDW trip when she would sit on a bench in a park and people watch. Her statements were to the effect that she saw some people who were physically fit, and how great that was, and then she saw lots of people who made her say "Oh, my!" She left it at that, but the tone of that report stayed with me, so much so that on my last WDW trip, I wondered how many people were watching me and my family as we made our way through a park thinking "Oh, my!" Stupid of me to even give any thought to that, I know, but I still do and it makes me very sensitive to what I sometimes perceive as the Us (people who are physically fit and work hard at it) versus Them (people who are not physically fit and are struggling with it) mentality. That's why I value the input of people here on WISH so much. Many of them have changed their lives for the better and gotten healthier over time, and I am extremely interested in what they did to make those changes. Others have never been in a very unfit physical state, but they have empathy for those who are and do their best to help. Both sets of people have my undying gratitude and appreciation, because they take their valuable time to encourage and support people like me, whom they have never met, and it helps - a lot!

Anyway, it's really not that big a deal, but thanks SO MUCH for taking the time to post on my journal and encourage me YET AGAIN! One of my fondest memories of my 5K Disney experience was seeing you and Scott cheering your hearts out for me when I came walking by you and was almost at the finish line. I will never forget what that meant to me and that support is one big reason why I just can't quit, even when continuing to try for a healthier lifestyle is difficult.

So, on to the exercise plan for today. I lugged everything in here again, but that's getting really old. I think I am going to buy two of all my toiletries and personal hygiene items this weekend, bring one set to work and leave it at my desk. Then I only have to bring in more when something runs out. In the same vein, I have decided to wash and pack all my workout clothes in a duffel bag this weekend (with an extra bag to separate dirty and clean clothes as the week goes on), bring it to work on Monday and leave it at my desk, then take it home on Friday. That way, I only have to lug those in once a week instead of every day. That will make this process a little easier, I think.

I really wish I could find a way to enjoy the exercise that I do. Enjoy and exercise just don't seem to go together for me. I have never found any physical activity that I truly enjoyed that was sustainable as an exercise routine. I like to swim, but the pools near me do not have hours that are workable with my schedule. I like to dance, but my husband doesn't, and doing dance workout videos gets old really fast for me - and the dance exercise classes that are offered in my area don't work with my schedule or my budget. Other than that, the rest of it is just something to be endured, kind of like cleaning house! I must admit I lump the two together in my mind, both things that I hate to do but that have to be done somehow for my health, and both things that I struggle with getting accomplished on a regular basis.

I am hoping that as I go along with this the pain stops. It hurts to walk - hurts my feet, my legs, my back - just plain hurts. I know that's because I am carrying all this extra weight, and I know the activity is good for me, but it still hurts and I still hate it because of that. When I was attempting to train for the 5K, it hurt then, too. When I was WALKING the 5K, I was hurting. I am really hoping that the day comes that physical activity no longer hurts - that would be a victory for me! Still, I know many people continue their workouts when they are hurting, so it helps to know I'm not alone. That's why I keep going with it, hoping it will get better as I go along.

I managed to get a little more sleep last night, so I am in a better frame of mind this morning. Still REALLY psyched that I landed that transcription contract - here's hoping the process goes well and they continue to be happy with my work product. A lot hinges on being productive and making regular extra income that way, so keep your fingers crossed that it goes well!

And I'm sorry for all my whining the last couple of days - I will try not to let my bad moods filter through to my journal too much. But then again, to paraphrase an old 50's song, it's my journal and I"ll whine if I want to!

Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, Stacie, we are still coming back to NC over July 4th. Not sure how much room we'll have in the car for anything we'd like to sell at your yard sale, but I'll keep it in mind - maybe we'll be able to bring along a few things that we'd like to unload! And I hope Matt has more success with getting rid of his eczema than I have had. Even with prescription cream, the only cure seems to be decreasing stress - and that's extremely difficult to do most days. But I hope he finds a way to do it - I'm trying really hard to make that happen for myself!

Well, that's it for me today. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Susan

P.S. Think I was kidding about what some people think of obese folks at WDW? Check out this thread:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1867876

(I probably didn't do that right, I'm not good at posting links, but maybe you guys can find it anyway if you're interested).

 

[windwalker]

Susan, just keep plugging away a little at a time as you can, it will begin to add up eventually. The time will come when you will be able to enjoy your walking. It's all a matter on staying with it.

It's often hard for someone to relate to what another is going through. WISH is better than most when it comes to support and understanding.

Visiting Panda

 

[postesf]

Aren't you smart!!! I do the same for my gym bag. It has it's own shampoo, comb... So for you to pack your cosmetics to keep there and also bring your gym clothes on Monday for a week is GENIOUS!!!

The pain will decrease and finally cease as you get healthier, exercise and lose weight. It will come. Have you been able to get any type of IPOD or MP3 player? I'm sure that would help keep you motivated while walking.

I'm going to mention to Jason about the yard sale as he or mom may have some things for him to bring and if you like, maybe he could just bring your stuff too if you guys don't have the time to come hang out. Or Tara could ride with him. Every little bit of $ helps right? Clothes, household stuff...what about that kitchen organizing you just did?

I'm really proud of you for getting back into your walking!!!

Oh and for your side work! I hope it goes well for you!!!

Have a good day!
Stacie