I've been reading this trip report since it started. This sounds like no one, including the OP (sorry just the way it sounds), had an idea of what they wanted to do, how to do it and any communication on what the trip wanted to be like.
I'm sure it's easy to blame Tammy (which she shares the fault) and to blame the in-laws (which they share the fault) but I kept reading and reading and I couldn't see where the OP and their family even did much to improve their trip/inform themselves about it either. How do you not know that the Universal tickets were dated the day prior?
What I will say is the OP did not seem bitter about the failed trip (more like done with all the hoopla that is Disney but not bitter about the actual outcome of the trip_ like many others do and that is refreshing. Traveling with extended family is generally considered a no no although it can work. In this case I actually do feel bad for the sister-in-law because she's getting so much blame and while it's def. deserved not all of it is. I can't imagine letting someone control so much of the park planning to the point where I'm unaware of so many things. I'm not advocating to be a super planner or to be contrarian to the main planner of the group but take control of some things will ya
If you want to be included in on what rides your sister-in-law selects for
Genie+ (or Individual Lightning Lane) talk with her about it.
This sounds like communication is a problem in this extended family and the separate groups probably don't vacation the same way. However I did seem to notice the mom and the brother and his family overall seemed to be more like-minded.
Also these kids were all just too young IMO to go on a trip like this although 7 isn't really too young but perhaps the age difference with the others made for a way different trip than it could have been. I bet y'all would have had a better trip, even with the extended family, had the kids been left at home or y'all had stretched the trip out to be like 8-10 days so you could have pool days at the house and you and your wife could go to the parks alone or the sister-in-law and her kids could go to the parks alone. I don't think you needed to have stayed on site but just be closer and have a better plan (and communicate).
I've enjoyed the humor though of this trip report. I must say my husband is an engineer (degreed with aerospace but working as a mechanical) and he loves our trips (both to WDW and USO as well as our 2 trips we took to DLR) but then again we communicate what we want our trips to be. When his mom and step-dad were going to come with us in 2017 we set up the expectation early on we won't be waiting for you, we'll let you do your thing, we'll do our thing, we'll do plenty of things together but we're not going to wait at the hotel til you finally get going we'll meet you at the parks. They dropped out though due to stamina issues. We also would not have stayed so far away in a rented house when our only reason for being in Orlando is to do theme parks. I don't even know where this house was but was it in no man's land? 1 1/2 hours to get to Universal? When my husband lived temporarily in Long Beach, CA he was 20 miles away from DLR and it didn't take even close to that long and we're talking CA traffic
Universal def. is a very different vibe than Disney. We love both places but no doubt Universal allows us to feel a different sort of ease and lack of big stress.
It's usually me, DH and our 2 boys who are 8+10 and SIL, her husband and their 2 boys 8+13. I am the planner and admittedly I do get stressed sometimes trying to make it perfect for everyone, but I'd like to think I'm not this bad.
