Thoughts on Office Gift Exchange

[disneychrista]

We do a Christmas luncheon with a white elephant, $25 max. We also used to do birthdays potluck, where we all chipped in $10 and the birthday person got the keep the cash. After the first year I declined to participate in the Christmas gift exchange, as I have not desire for things I don't want or need. We stopped the birthday luncheon when COVID struck and thankfully haven't started it back up. I kept the birthday cash in my desk drawer and used that when asked for my $10. I have $20 - $30 still just in case they decide to start it up again.

 

[Living42Day]

I'm glad I am not the only one that was taken aback by the $50 minimum. I live in the Pacific Northwest, so was questioning whether it was area specific.

I agreed and was excited to participate, but didn't find out until later that there was a minimum from the coworker arranging it. We all make decent money (like I said, I make about $20,000+ less than all of them but my salary is still very much above the average for household income in our area). I would just rather my money go to my own family.

I work in a small government agency office. If I decline, I would be the only one. The office culture is very homogenous, I'll say that much. It's just a really difficult situation and position to be in.

What would I even buy in the $50-55 price range? And if I buy something for $50, will that be seen as too cheap because someone else spent $100? All around uncomfortable.

 

[disneychrista]

I work in a small government agency office. If I decline, I would be the only one. The office culture is very homogenous, I'll say that much. It's just a really difficult situation and position to be in.

I am the only one who doesn't participate. It is a little odd sitting there at the luncheon while the other 5-6 do the exchange but not enough to make me want to participate.

 

[_19disnA]

If you feel uncomfortable being the only one to decline, can you just take a vacation day when they do the gift exchange? Say you have a doctor's appointment or something similar. I doubt anyone would notice you aren't there.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I am the only one who doesn't participate. It is a little odd sitting there at the luncheon while the other 5-6 do the exchange but not enough to make me want to participate.

That happened to me depending on the team, the one not participating. I usually just explained it as I wanted to use money towards other causes and that was the truth.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If you feel uncomfortable being the only one to decline, can you just take a vacation day when they do the gift exchange? Say you have a doctor's appointment or something similar. I doubt anyone would notice you aren't there.

It would probably be pretty noticeable for a new employee who already said yes to then ask for that day off. I don't think that would get you out of actually doing it once you've already committed. When I first responded it hadn't been written that the OP already accepted, if I had known I would have said do it this year but decline for the next years (unless they find it actually is enjoyable and doable for them).

 

[Living42Day]

It would probably be pretty noticeable for a new employee who already said yes to then ask for that day off.

I shouldn't have written, "agreed", that is too strong of a word. It was more of my confirming that there will be a white elephant gift exchange after some brief talking about it last week amongst coworkers, her saying we have a $50 minimum and making the "crappy and cheap" comment, my hesitating trying to process if she really just said $50 minimum or maximum, realizing she did say minimum, then saying okay! because there was an awkward silence, then going back to work.

 

[disneychrista]

That happened to me depending on the team, the one not participating. I usually just explained it as I wanted to use money towards other causes and that was the truth.

Thankfully no one has questioned my not wanting to participate. I just sit there and watch as they all choose the gifts.

 

[leebee]

Definitely awkward situation for OP, especially after having said yes. I'd do it this year but not again. However... what do you buy someone for $50? I don't spend that much on most family members (except DH and DD). That's a lot of money to spend on one gift for one person- especially someone who is barely an acquaintance!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Thankfully no one has questioned my not wanting to participate. I just sit there and watch as they all choose the gifts.

Yeah no one has ever questioned mine as well but I would offer that up as an explanation, it seemed to take the sting out of a presumption of just being a "grinch" for lack of a better term.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I shouldn't have written, "agreed", that is too strong of a word. It was more of my confirming that there will be a white elephant gift exchange after some brief talking about it last week amongst coworkers, her saying we have a $50 minimum and making the "crappy and cheap" comment, my hesitating trying to process if she really just said $50 minimum or maximum, realizing she did say minimum, then saying okay! because there was an awkward silence, then going back to work.

I get you, I think though even confirming there is one is essentially an agreement to participate. I think you have the understanding of all of us about not wanting to do it

 

[Skippy918]

$50 minimum for an office gift? Yikes! We’ve done white elephant in the office and those are supposed to be funny, inexpensive gifts.

 

[Skippy918]

Find something at a discount store that was originally $50 but you bought it for $10.

 

[SirDuff]

That said I actually get what you're saying. One year I donated portions of my paycheck that amounted to $300 to the March of Dimes. My husband's prior company also did March of Dimes but stopped after refocusing on more local charities. Thinking back I wish I hadn't done that not because necessarily March of Dimes (although I would have chosen to do something a bit more localized myself) but that it was something wrapped up in the company, that the competitions the companies in the area would run to see who got the most donations, IDK it felt less like helping and more like big name gives big money but a decent amount of that was employee funded.

I felt the same way too (my last two workplaces don’t do it). I had nothing really against the specific charity chosen (though wouldn’t have been my first choice really) but I really didn’t like the pressure to join in. I did some things that I like (like the bake sale) but avoided most (and, if questioned, just said I preferred to donate on my own time and to one of my own choice).

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I started at my job this year. Being right out of college, I make slightly less than everyone else who has been there for 5+ years. I am also in a different role that doesn't pay as much as their role.

I was just told about an office Christmas party and white elephant gift exchange that they do every year. I was informed that the gift exchange will be $50 minimum, because last year someone bought a "crappy and cheap" gift that one of the boss's got stuck with in white elephant exchange. The gift exchange will occur during normal business hours in the morning in the office.

What are your thoughts if you were presented with this information? What are the norms of gift exchanges at your job?

DH's office does Secret Santa. Everyone has the option to not participate, and there is no issues if you don't. If you sign up, you fill out a form about your likes and dislikes; then your name is put in a hat and is randomly drawn. There is a $10 or $15 minimum, I think; not very much. The rules say you don't have to say who you are, but you can; there is a date that all presents must be under the office tree (and there are always a few extra wrapped gifts the HR lady has, in case someone's SS bails, but that has only happened once, and that was because the guy was let go). On that date, after lunch, SS all get together in the conference room and get their gifts.

DH has received some meh gifts (a Christmas projection light from the Dollar store, and other random stuff like that in a plastic bucket his first year) to amazing gifts (a $50 bottle of Whiskey a few years ago). If the person fills out their form, he'll go off that, if he can; otherwise it's "hey, we're going shopping to find my SS gift", and at the store looking at random stuff "yeah, this is it."

He's been at companies that have done White Elephant gifts. One year, he took a movie pack, with some DVDs of Three Stooges movies, microwave popcorn, Raisinettes, a 2 liter bottle of Coke, and a rubber chicken, in a popcorn tin. That year, he brought home a web shooter, that shoots silly string.

 

[kymom99]

DH's office does Secret Santa. Everyone has the option to not participate, and there is no issues if you don't. If you sign up, you fill out a form about your likes and dislikes; then your name is put in a hat and is randomly drawn. There is a $10 or $15 minimum, I think; not very much. The rules say you don't have to say who you are, but you can; there is a date that all presents must be under the office tree (and there are always a few extra wrapped gifts the HR lady has, in case someone's SS bails, but that has only happened once, and that was because the guy was let go). On that date, after lunch, SS all get together in the conference room and get their gifts.

DH has received some meh gifts (a Christmas projection light from the Dollar store, and other random stuff like that in a plastic bucket his first year) to amazing gifts (a $50 bottle of Whiskey a few years ago). If the person fills out their form, he'll go off that, if he can; otherwise it's "hey, we're going shopping to find my SS gift", and at the store looking at random stuff "yeah, this is it."

He's been at companies that have done White Elephant gifts. One year, he took a movie pack, with some DVDs of Three Stooges movies, microwave popcorn, Raisinettes, a 2 liter bottle of Coke, and a rubber chicken, in a popcorn tin. That year, he brought home a web shooter, that shoots silly string.

Your husband sounds creative. Love the movie pack idea!

 

[Robber Baron]

I shouldn't have written, "agreed", that is too strong of a word. It was more of my confirming that there will be a white elephant gift exchange after some brief talking about it last week amongst coworkers, her saying we have a $50 minimum and making the "crappy and cheap" comment, my hesitating trying to process if she really just said $50 minimum or maximum, realizing she did say minimum, then saying okay! because there was an awkward silence, then going back to work.

Oh geez. Can you find a new job before Christmas?

 

[fla4fun]

Find something at a discount store that was originally $50 but you bought it for $10.

This is what I was going to suggest. Find a good deal on something so it appears you have complied, but you stay within your own budget.

For the record, I always hated the office gift exchange, as well as the ubiquitous pot luck lunch that went with it.

 

[Skywalker]

I started at my job this year. Being right out of college, I make slightly less than everyone else who has been there for 5+ years. I am also in a different role that doesn't pay as much as their role.

I was just told about an office Christmas party and white elephant gift exchange that they do every year. I was informed that the gift exchange will be $50 minimum, because last year someone bought a "crappy and cheap" gift that one of the boss's got stuck with in white elephant exchange. The gift exchange will occur during normal business hours in the morning in the office.

What are your thoughts if you were presented with this information? What are the norms of gift exchanges at your job?

Reminds me of my boss one year, everyone got relatively nice gifts (stone pizza baking pan and other kitchen gadgets, picture frames, alcohol, lol) and she got stuck with a crappy Mr. Potato Head toy. She tried to cover but she wasn't happy. Maybe a $50 minimum is to reinforce "nice" gifts and not joke ones.

I love these exchanges though. My office has done everything from $5 max to $50 max and the higher limit is more fun, because there are so many more options. (And good-natured fighting over the good stuff). Plus, I never felt ripped off because even though I am spending $50, I am also in the end getting something worth $50 that if I don't like I could always re-gift or sell. No biggie.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

What about one of these using their 40% discount [WEEKEND40]?

https://www.thepaperstore.com/c/hydro-flask

Next year see if you can opt out.

(PS My DD had one of these hydro flasks stolen at the gym, if you can believe that!)