Traveling with not so budget minded friends

Discussion in 'Budget Board' started by MKCP5, Jun 18, 2017 at 8:05 AM.

  1. lovin'fl

    lovin'fl DIS Veteran

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    Just thought of some things we do with in law trips where SIL and BIL love to eat at signatures. Other SIL claimed headache, stayed in room and ate at CS at resort when SIL chose AP for dinner.

    Then another trip just us two couples had Cali Grill booked and DH was griping about it. Two reasons were cost and dressing up. It was towards the end of a 12 day trip where we drove in with both our cars so DH claimed he had to leave early to get back to work...and he likely did have a lot of work to get to but he had been working from Disney just fine until the day we had Cali Grill booked. He was also a telecommuter at the time so what was difference between working from home and working from Disney???? So I knew it was to avoid CG that night. I went, however, with BIL and SIL and had the best meal ever. Though I was stressed about what I would order due to DH' s frugalness ( to be fair we did have financial struggles at that time). Didn't get sushi app I wanted or glass of wine or dessert...just meal.
     
  2. MKCP5

    MKCP5 DIS Veteran

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    Thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate straight talk. I am a straight talk kind of girl and am not offended by it. My share for hotel is $893.25 with taxes :scared: Which is the cost of one of the 5 nights we are there. I would be spending that or close to it if I stayed in a value resort by myself for the time we are there. And honestly, if I am going to do it, I want to be with my friends! I want to fall asleep laughing and wake up early and make them breakfast and get a little tipsy together and all of the rest of the things that go along with a giant 5 night sleepover.

    I have emailed all of them and said I am nervous. That this is a big budget trip and with all the other travel I have going this summer I am worried about keeping up. One of them jumped right in and agreed that he was also concerned and wanted to have a great time but not be wildly extravagant with dining, etc. The others all said they understood and didn't really care if we ate at counter service or Cali Grill as long as we could all hang together and reminisce and have a great time. I am taking a deep breath, recognizing that I can make money every day, and just need to be careful in the coming few months where I spend it. I'm not much of a souvenir girl, or shopper so I don't need to worry about that too much. If someone wants to spend a day shopping I am content to stay poolside with a book. I'd prefer it in fact. I have an old pass with two days on it, so I only need to get a couple more days. We are on property so we're not renting a car, and the rest will work out! I am making a choice to be grateful that I can make this work. It is very unlikely that the 5 of us will ever do something like this again in our lifetime and I'm not going to miss it or be petty over what will probably amount to a few hundred dollars difference in me planning it and them.

    Thanks for your thoughts. I think I just needed to work it all through in my head and hear other perspectives
     
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  4. Shanti

    Shanti Momketeer

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    This doesn't seem to be going well already. I recommend cancelling if you're really nervous.
     
  5. kymom99

    kymom99 DIS Veteran

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    Great attitude! I was going to say, the things that are already decided, you know up front what they are. The rest you can control. Like you said, if you feel you don't see the value in something they do, use that time to do something in your own. And you never know, there may be someone else who would rather join you. I'm sure you will have a great time!
     
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  6. jormom1030

    jormom1030 Mouseketeer

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    If you do Swagbucks, you might have time to make $50 you could put toward your food money.
     
  7. usnuzuloose

    usnuzuloose Loosing Boo Boo

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    Me and Hubby have had to tell people no. If I can't afford it they either understand or they don't. I am not ashamed to admit it if I can't afford to do something. I have needs more than I wanting a vacation right now. But that is just us. And my HO only.
     
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  8. Westcoastwild

    Westcoastwild DIS Veteran

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    It sounds like both you and they have the right attitude then. Have a great trip!
     
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  9. adisneyaunt

    adisneyaunt LTD

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    Have a great trip... like u said, may be a once in a lifetime trip with this group! When you look back on all the crazy antics, fun, food, experiences, and laughs... the money will be forgotten.
    Go for it! Hope it's Magical!!
     
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  10. ruadisneyfan2

    ruadisneyfan2 DIS Veteran

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    LOL! Dh often says the difference between a meh trip and a wow! trip is a few hundred $$$. I say go and have a great time! If they want to do some signature dining that you just don't see the value in, just decline and remind them you have your other vacation to consider as well. Otherwise, it's only 5 nights so how much groceries could they be buying? $200? Split 5 ways? Let it go. Get some breakfast foods & snacks and chances are you'll be eating lunch & dinner in the parks. How many ADRs did they make? Do you feel obligated to do everything together as a group 24/7? 5 days of togetherness is a lot.

    It sounds like you're all young enough to not yet be tied down to children and such. Go enjoy your friends while it's still easy to find the time, save where you can and don't look back. Seriously, in 20 yrs you'll be so glad you did!!:goodvibes
     
  11. MKCP5

    MKCP5 DIS Veteran

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    Lol. We're in our 50's with kids in college. It's a 35 year reunion. I have two in college right now! We'll still be glad in 20 years that we went!
     
  12. ruadisneyfan2

    ruadisneyfan2 DIS Veteran

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    Ah, that's what I get for assuming. Lol
    I just turned 50 so yes, then all the more reason to go and have fun with the girls.
     
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  13. kymom99

    kymom99 DIS Veteran

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    I'm 52 and I assumed the same. Thought it was a group of youngsters! I have a kid going to college so I get it.
     
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  14. MKCP5

    MKCP5 DIS Veteran

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    .
    Thank you!
     
  15. kydisneyfans

    kydisneyfans <font color=blue>It may be because they are too em

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    Mixed thoughts here.

    Garden Grocer is insanely expensive to me. There are so many other options that are cheaper, I'm not sure why they are so popular with as expensive as they are for groceries, especially with other options readily available.

    We are staying at Saratoga in October. I estimated the cost of Uber to the nearest Walmart. It was $8 each way. That would save a ton of $$.

    I'm not sure I would enjoy a trip to Disney if it's going to drain the bank account. We're used to the budget Disney trips with CS meals and drinks delivered by Amazon or a Walmart run. The room cost isn't out of line.
     
  16. mi*vida*loca

    mi*vida*loca Collect memories, not things

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    I have friends who are spenders. When I go out with them I know I'm going to be spending money. Either I say no or I go and stay quiet and spend.

    I also have friends who want to do everything on a budget. Get a hotel room and squeeze as many in on air mattresses, etc. That's where I draw the line.I'm not down for that either and will tell them I'm not 21 years old on Spring break. I will have a real bed so either we get more rooms or I'll book my own room. But after that if they want to do everything on a budget I go with the flow and spend more when I want to. If they want to do side salads at a meal and no alcohol that doesn't affect me. I'll get my app, entrée and drink and pay my portion.

    I think when you travel with people you have to adapt.
     
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  17. MKCP5

    MKCP5 DIS Veteran

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    I hear you. I think I have figured it out now though and am good with things. Garden grocer is crazy expensive, so we may uber over to the store, or just suck it up and have it all delivered. It will all work out. As someone pointed out, my share of the groceries will only be a small amount as we are getting snacks and breakfast items maybe one meal for the room. It will be fine. :) Getting excited to go again!!
     
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  18. Keels

    Keels The Official Keels of RunDisney

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    The first conversation is always the toughest ... nobody wants to be "the person" that dampens the mood with money talk, but everyone else is always happy when someone else brings it up to set expectations.

    It seems like you have a handle on the groceries thing - for dining, maybe think about restaurants were you can share items and larger cocktails to spread the $$ out (the first that comes to mind is Spice Road Table - pick a bunch of tapas, a pitcher of sangria and have some fun!), or restaurants that have more extensive appetizer selections that are shareable - Morimoto is my personal favorite for this! Then pick a cheesy QS restaurant that you may have great memories about from College Program - like Cosmic Ray's - to lower costs and share memories while you eat.

    But most importantly, just be honest and keep an open dialogue. If people want to go somewhere for a meal that you aren't comfortable with - offer a personal alternative FOR YOU. Like, everyone wants to go to Yachtsman - ask if it's cool if you grab something quick somewhere first, but you go and enjoy a glass of wine, conversation and dessert. Or if someone wants to share an entree. I travel with girlfriends ALL the time and we always end up ordering 2-3 entrees and splitting them between the five of us, or ordering a ton of apps and sides and sharing them. It's an easy way to get a dining share at a nice place down to $20-40pp, depending on drinks.
     
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  19. LovesTimone

    LovesTimone DIS Veteran

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    Frist thing is you need to speak up and figure out if this is really right for you...right now...You are not going to have a good time if your worrying about money the whole time. Which is a real waste of money if don't even enjoy your time together, it sounds like you had a knee jerk reactions before thinking it through. As you are coming in after they secured the Tree house you will have to go along with the cost. As far as food and ordering seem like someone might want to make a suggestion of each person bring something to share, or uber to get something's.

    What we do and we have a group of friends mostly couples but there are a few singles that we vacation and travel with. Here are the rules that we go by.

    * Everyone does not need to stay together every minute. It's everyone's time off so you should be able to enjoy it how they want. We have one couple that does everything the area has to offer, another couple who sleeps in, lounges around and reads the whole time and never do anything, DH and I fall somewhere in the middle.

    If we rent a large house at the beach or mountains here's how we handle everything from start to finish.

    * Once you commit and start paying, your in = no refunds. We have had a couple of times were someone would decided that they did not want to go, and then want their money back, which of course effects everyone else, in budgeting and makes everyone mad. So we made the rule and its been fine since then, everyone know what's expected and really thinks it over before really committing and making those payments.

    * Whether you are a couple or single everyone pays the same amount for the home rental. 1 couple or 1 single to a room so everyone has privacy. Everything divided up equally. If you can only come for a few nights or the whole time, if you have to leave early or whatever... its still the same price.

    * Absolutely, no showing up with someone that is not part of the arrangement with the property owner.

    * If you are in charge of all the planning, deals with all the arrangements, and the point person. You put in the work ... then you get the master bedroom its just fair.

    * Then the person in charge assigns the rooms, which is harder than you think, we try to take in everyone needs, early risers, night owls, health issue and even height and size, you can't put a 6'6 man and 6'0 woman in a double bed room.

    * Then a menu is made. The point person sends out a request for suggestions and who wants to cook what. Then figures it all out. We also decide how many sit downs meals we are going to have, if its a 5 night trip we will plan on 2 to 3 dinners. Breakfast food for every morning, and then sandwiches fixin's for lunch time.

    * There's a lot of snacks, drinks and adult beverage. Everyone brings a 12 pack of drinks, and whatever type of adult beverages they enjoy. Then the point person does the shopping for the food, and it is divided equally and pays the point person in cash when they arrive...Everyone has some other items that they have to bring. Everything from paper towel, laundry detergent, paper plates, foil, etc...

    * Then the point person sends out the itinerary, with all the information and who is bring what, and when they are cooking, grilling and cleaning up. That way there are no surprise, and everyone knows what to expect and can arrive and enjoy our time together.

    We learned a lot of this by trial and error, so I hope this helps.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2017 at 6:24 AM
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  20. justafigment27

    justafigment27 Mouseketeer

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    I don't think it has to be all that expensive after your room and tickets are covered. You can ask for a separate bill at any restaurants and your portion of a garden grocer bill won't be too expensive. I'd have a good time and not worry too much. Look at it this way: you get to spend 5 nights in a treehouse villa for only $893.25! Imagine how much it would cost to stay there if you were paying for your whole family! :)
     
  21. Sagginit

    Sagginit Hulagirl_Tiki

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    I have been on both sides of things. I am frugal and often have a budget, but also like to have nice vacations. I can tell you from being on the side of the person willing to spend with a cheaper person alongside that you will not only stress out yourself, you will stress out the other person.

    If I am on a budget I always discuss these things and honestly have stayed home for a while as I couldn't afford to keep up with my friends as I wanted to pay off my student loans early. I watched friends go on vacations throughout college and for 3 years after while I sat at home paying off student loans. It sucked but I didn't want to go on a vacation that would stress me out financially and emotionally.

    Once I did so I wanted to travel and enjoy my hard work and hard earned spending money. I have a friend that had majorly screwed over other friends on trips so I refused to go on vacation with her. She thought she was being on budget but it was not the way my friends wanted to spend their vacations (ex. expecting them to eat at fast food places while in Vegas, booking a basic cruise package but then refusing to pay for any drinks out of pocket so she went to her room at 8pm leaving her travel mate alone to go to bars, inviting 6 people on a a trip with one 4 person room booked but not telling everyone until they get there so people end up sleeping on the floor as the hotel was 100% booked for a holiday weekend). If you are going to be budget make sure anything you are doing that differs from the group won't be a buzzkill. For ex. if you are the only person skipping table service meals or cause constant debate about where to eat it will add stress to the others and is not fair to them as they are spending their money the way they choose to. If you want to skip shopping trips or just get your own bill at a restaurant that is completely normal and acceptable to most people.
     

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