What do you wish people were more honest about?

[disykat]

Curious what type of scenario you're talking about here by mentioning "pretending." We live below our means and if someone didn't know our job titles they would assume we're just another middle to upper middle class family.

Living below your means is not pretending. That's common sense. Not at all what I'm talking about. Pretty much griping about not having money, mooching off others, wanting everyone to feel sorry for you etc. while you actually have plenty is what I'm talking about. On the other side, pretending you have all the money in the world and being a big spender while you're about to go bankrupt. Sadly, I don't think either of those is that uncommon.

 

[barkley]

Probably the sort of people who have lots of money, but still try to mooch off of others.

or those who push (and often look down on others for not pursuing) a lifestyle of living however the wind moves them-devoid of possession or housing, no job, 'the universe will provide, money is not important/means nothing' mindset (not to be confused with homelessness due to other factors-this is strictly by active personal choice). not knocking a person's choice to live that lifestyle but the truth is that a good number i've encountered HAVE money-be it their own or family that they know in the back of their minds they can fall back on. i knew a handful of these in my 20's and 30's who drifted around up and down the west coast and pacific northwest. with some i knew their backgrounds and the college funds their parents still had waiting for them, the trust funds their grands had set up. with others there were family businesses they had an open door to walk into a job at with no notice. with others all their talk of how they relished the struggle to provide for their base needs-all the while wearing top of the line hiking boots, outdoor clothes and sporting an albeit dirty and used but still high dollar backpack stocked with supplies that were not obviously not poofed into their by the universe spoke to extensive and costly preparation and maintenance of this lifestyle.

it's fine if you want that kind of lifestyle but if the only reason you can is b/c of the financial parachute you've got hidden don't go encouraging others with no parachute to jump off the edge along with you.

 

[fla4fun]

For those want honesty all the time... do you really want to hear someone is turning down your request to hang out because they do not actually like you, but stay polite because your family or something.

Yes. I don’t want to spend time with people who don’t really want to spend time with me. It’s always obvious that there is something off about their participation when they lie about it anyway. A person does not have to be rude to be truthful. I think we all know that there are going to be people who do not like us, sometimes even family.

 

[momz]

Living below your means is not pretending. That's common sense. Not at all what I'm talking about. Pretty much griping about not having money, mooching off others, wanting everyone to feel sorry for you etc. while you actually have plenty is what I'm talking about. On the other side, pretending you have all the money in the world and being a big spender while you're about to go bankrupt. Sadly, I don't think either of those is that uncommon.

Oh know exactly what you're talking about. I had a friend (note this is past tense now), when my kids were gradeschool age, a neighbor actually. Well, when Christmas or the start of the school year rolled around, she started the pity party. Her kids would have no presents under the tree, or they would have to wear old clothes that don't fit anymore.... woe woe woe. Well, it took me 3 years to learn. My husband and I started by giving her some money to buy the kids' presents $300, not a lot, but enough so they wouldn't have nothing under the tree. Eventually, I stopped giving cash and would ask what they wanted, so would buy them presents instead of giving cash. Finally, I learned!!!! Christmas would come and her kids had bigger and better gifts than mine were getting...often the newest video game system and a slew of games to go with it. Anyway, it's not a contest about who's kid gets the best gifts, but don't be playing on the generosity of others when you don't need it.

 

[momz]

I will share something that annoys me in my professional life. I am a healthcare provider.

People lie about their symptoms. Well maybe not a lie but an exaggeration. I see it in people who make their symptoms out to be catastrophic when they have a cold or some other minor everyday illness. For example "I have a terrible cough and severe fatigue" but, they have not taken anything for their cough, have missed no time from work or school and don't exhibit a cough at all while in the clinic..... The evidence does not support the histrionics that I see day after day.

I have to take what they say seriously. But I just wish people would stop trying to make everyday illness seem like it's something extreme. Now, if a person really does have severe fatigue, then we're talking a whole work-up to determine what the problem is. Completely different approach when the words ring true.

 

[katmigordon]

Actually, yes - yes I do want you to tell me that's why. Because then I can stop wasting my time and move onto someone with better taste who does like me.

For those want honesty all the time... do you really want to hear someone is turning down your request to hang out because they do not actually like you, but stay polite because your family or something.

White lies exist to keep peace. And sometimes that is a good thing.

If you want to experience more honesty, come over to the Netherlands. What the rest of the world calls Dutch rudeness or directness is honesty here

 

[disneychrista]

Their intentions.

 

[TippyThomas]

Why they do and say the things they do and say. There has to be some unsaid motivation, but I can't figure out what it is. It certainly doesn't seem positive.