What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[Suger Mag]

My husband is not a Disney fan either. When we first bought DVC he was very skeptical about the whole idea, so I started a bit of 'operant conditioning'... When we are in WDW, he gets much more 'intimacy' than at home... amazing how he looks forward to those vacations now LOL

 

[Frankie Nova]

Man up and go to Disney with the fam!
I hate shopping but go with the wife because SHE likes it. I believe sacrifice to make others happy ,especially family is important. Teaching children that doing things you don't like is character building. Then taking them on a trip dad may like will be easier for them to give back.

 

[Hikergirl]

If you had little kids my answer would probably be different but your kids are old enough to understand that there are tons of other great vacation destinations out there that can appeal to everyone in the family. Pick a new place to go all together and you just take the kids to WDW.

 

[ThistleMae]

Will he go along with you and relax at the resort or go off on his own while you take the kids to the parks? Some of the suggestions in here sound like really good compromises but if he "hates" going, and will not go at all, it would be helpful for us to know that.

 

[Nancyg56]

I just do not understand why a Disney trip needs to be" an all in no matter what you want" trip. My DH joins us periodically, but not every trip. When the kids were younger he seldom joined us on any vacation. He was seasonal and worked. HE wanted the kids to vacation where they wanted, not where and when he was able to join us. We went.

If your destination was anywhere else, and DH did not want to join you, would you be asking him to compromise? I believe that if the boundary for vacation travel is that the entire family needs to be there, then you need to choose a destination that all of you enjoy. Every time.

 

[TheCakePopLady]

I have always wanted to take my kids to Disney and do this big magical trip at a resort, do the surprise reveal, make a huge production of the trip, but i have a husband who is not into any of that. He hates crowds, he likes to sleep in, IF he went we would have to wait forever to get going in the mornings, so i asked my hubs “soooo i want to plan a Disney trip. Want to go or should i make it a girls trip?” And he said “go ahead and make it a girls trip” and with that, my big plans for Disney were made and I’m doing the surprise reveal and my husband is staying home (and pouting because we’ll be gone for a week lol) while me, my bff and my two kids go to Disney in FIVE DAYS for the first time. I can’t even ge more excited than i am. Lmao

Moral of story: go without him

 

[ThistleMae]

It's definitely true, if someone is forced to go somewhere they "hate" they will not be any fun.

 

[Countrywife45]

I find it much easier to leave him home. Me, the daughter, sil and 3 granchldren are going on the 15th, with another daughter arriving later in the week. There are things my husband does very well, amusement parks not on that list. I just let it go....not everyone does things the same.

 

[sk!mom]

They are old enough to understand that. They are old enough to want a compromise from him too.



I do not make my husband do those things either. He doesn't go to every one of my daughter's dance recitals and competitions because he hates those too. We made a deal, 1 a year and that is fine with her.

And this is my younger 2 kids, not my adult son, I think they just like him there with them. They like to go on rides with him and just share the experience. Up until now they had no idea he hated it. I knew he wasn't the biggest fan but I thought he just liked being with the family.

My answer really depends on information that you haven't given. How often and how many times have you all vacationed at Disney? Do you vacation other places and does he enjoy those trips?

My first thought was...If your kids want a vacation with everyone going, then you need to pick a location that everyone enjoys. They are old enough to understand that choice.

But then you threw in the info about the dance recitals and to be frank, that makes your DH sound self-centered. Most parents can't even put a number on the recitals, concerts, sports practices and games that we have sat through yet your DH opts out. What is up with that? This makes it sound like your kids deeper feelings may be that dad is really checked out.

SO my advice is, IF your DH has gone a few times and is over it, then go without him if you so choose. However if Disney is pretty much your only vacation choice over and over, then it's time to choose a destination that everyone would enjoy.

 

[VandVsmama]

Try Disneyland instead. Seriously.

My DH gets Theme Park Fatigue (TPF). It's a serious condition that can result in one's spouse showing the following symptoms:

• cranky
• miserable
• crabby
• not wanting to get out of bed
• refusal to leave the hotel
• vocalizing statements such as "Do we HAVE to?" and "I don't want to!"
• not wanting to talk with wife and children
• only wanting to stay indoors and watch TV for hours on end

To minimize these symptoms, I've found it helpful to do the following:

1. Go to Disneyland, not Disney World. We've always wanted to go to WDW, but for DH, TPF is a very real & miserable thing so we stick to Disneyland instead.
2. Stay at a hotel within walking distance of the park entrance. This means staying at a hotel on Harbor Blvd if staying at the Grand Californian or Disneyland Hotel is not in the budget. Walk to the hotel should be no longer than, let's say, from the Esplanade to the Howard Johnson's hotel. Any farther is too far and will result in onset of TPF symptoms.
3. Even better if the hotel includes free breakfast....like the Best Western Park Place Inn.
4. Be at the parks for rope drop. Tell DH when you & kids are leaving the hotel in the a.m. for rope drop. And leave at that time with or without him. When DH complains the night before, tell him to just try your method just for the morning and then if he hates it, he doesn't have to go back.
5. Follow @HydroGuy's rule of having each person in the family pick their #1 ride to go on for the trip. Make sure you try to get on those rides on Day 1.
6. If you have a 3-day park hopper ticket, plan your first day in the parks so it's on a Tues, Thurs, or Sat. so you can use Magic Morning early entry into Disneyland. Try to convince DH to go w/you for Magic Morning entry. When MM is 7-8 am, you can often get on 5-6 Fantasyland rides in that hour. Seriously. No joke. I've done it many times now and DH is now sold on MM hour.
7. Use the Disneyland app to check ride times.
8. If your DH is especially prone to TPF, pay the extra $10/day per person and buy Max Pass for 1 day to try it out.
9. Use FP wisely. It operates like legacy FP used to at WDW before Magic Bands. No scheduling rides in advance. If your TPF-prone DH does not like to be tied down to a schedule, this can work to your advantage.
10. On the day that you do MM entry, plan a late character breakfast at the Plaza Inn...like 10:15-10:30 seating. Sit and relax and stuff yourself full of bacon and waffles while 5-7 characters come to your table.
11. Go on 1-2 more rides after the character breakfast and then LEAVE THE PARK!
12. Don't go back to the park until 4:00 pm at the earliest.
13. Tell TPF-prone DH that is welcome to join you at the parks for the evening but if he wants the night off, that's fine, too. Tell DH that he's welcome to go hang out at ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney or do whatever he wants. Give him a kiss and then go on your way. My DH always changes his mind and goes with us.
14. Don't "close the park." Leave about 9-9:30 pm. Everybody in bed by 10:00 pm.
15. Lather, rinse, repeat for 2 more days.
16. If you're on a 3-day trip and your DH has agreed to go into the parks for Day 1 and 2, seriously consider adding a 4th day to your trip. BUT after Day 1 and Day 2 in the parks, day 3 of the trip would be doing something else as a family away from Disneyland/DCA. So Cal has a ton of things to do. The beach, the California Science Center (the space shuttle is there), go on a Hollywood tour if your kids are older. 2 rules for this method: NO THEME PARKS ON THE 'DAY OFF!' And DH gets to pick the activity! 3rd rule (ok I lied about 2 rules) - try not to make it an all day thing (sun up to sun down).
17. While at Disneyland and especially if TPF-prone DH decides to go with you, every ride you go on should be a 20 min wait or shorter. Use the Disneyland app for this. Or if your DH REALLY hates Disney but has begrudgingly decided to go w/you for just this one day, buy a subscription to Ride Max and plan a Ride Max itinerary in order to minimize wait times, go on a bunch of fun rides, and not make DH miserable standing in lines all day. I've found it to be quite useful and it's now the reason why DH goes w/the kids and I to Disneyland.

 

[Nancyg56]

They are old enough to understand that. They are old enough to want a compromise from him too.



I do not make my husband do those things either. He doesn't go to every one of my daughter's dance recitals and competitions because he hates those too. We made a deal, 1 a year and that is fine with her.

And this is my younger 2 kids, not my adult son, I think they just like him there with them. They like to go on rides with him and just share the experience. Up until now they had no idea he hated it. I knew he wasn't the biggest fan but I thought he just liked being with the family.

It sounds like he has compromised and has not only gone on Disney vacations with the family, he has made sure that the children had no idea he was not thrilled to be there. At what point do you explain to the kids that they are the ones who need to be compromising as well. Do they want to go on a hunting or fishing trip as the family vacation?

I think that we all need to look at why folks are not comfortable attending certain "expected" events. My oldest cannot stand crowds. He will manage on occasion, but it really is difficult. His wife is not thrilled that he does not want to go to certain places, but she gets it. He is miserable. Perhaps you may want to explore why your husband does not like to attend recitals, etc. Can he fit in the chairs? Are they crowded or "tight?" Competitions make him nervous? My oldest would answer yes to all of these.

 

[mousefan73]

My DH is like yours! Simple solution we leave him at home and grandma goes! He’s gone 3x and honestly our kids are happy when “ crabby “ dad is not there to spoil our fun! We do many other trips elsewhere throughout the year with him.

We love our dad but honestly have more fun without him!

This year we compromised a little bit we did our Orlando trip with Dollywood and the smoky mountains so he was part of that trip then came down with us to Orlando stayed one night with magic kingdom and then flew back home and we have a week to ourselves. positive note we also saved a lot of money that we could use towards doing things that the kids wanted to do.

I can see it getting complicated though if this is the only family vacation you do in one year then you need to compromise and pick something that everyone enjoys but as I had posted above we do many trips throughout the year that includes our dad

 

[mousefanmichelle]

My dh doesn't like it either. I wanted him to go with us and the kids and I pushed and pushed it and it made him hate it more even though he hadn't been. I turned it into this thing and he just loathed it. Finally I gave it a rest and when we had the money I asked if he would go with us and i booked things I knew he would enjoy - the MK underground tour, staying at a nicer resort, I scheduled down time so we could just hang out and not go gangbusters at the parks. He did appreciate talking to the bus drivers and seeing behind the scenes things but he still doesn't love it and chances are I won't ever get him back there and I am ok with it. I have learned to love it without him. My dd and I went this past April for her spring break and it was great just her and I. My dh didn't miss it a bit and we could just do the things she and I wanted. It really was a win-win.

 

[Christine]

But then you threw in the info about the dance recitals and to be frank, that makes your DH sound self-centered. Most parents can't even put a number on the recitals, concerts, sports practices and games that we have sat through yet your DH opts out. What is up with that? This makes it sound like your kids deeper feelings may be that dad is really checked out.

SO my advice is, IF your DH has gone a few times and is over it, then go without him if you so choose. However if Disney is pretty much your only vacation choice over and over, then it's time to choose a destination that everyone would enjoy.

Without really taking a side here, because we just don't know, I'm left to wonder if the OP's husband just has a problem with crowds. My daughter did dance one year and I thought the recital was just the worst thing ever. I never wanted to do it again and I'm sure it showed. Fortunately, my daughter didn't want to continue with dance and went on to do other things. Anyway, part of problem for me was feeling trapped in that room, shoved in with all those people. I was seriously uncomfortable and it lasted for HOURS. If I had to do it over and over again, I can see splitting up some of those things between my husband and my parents. I don't think I could handle it without screaming.

Coupling her remark about that with how we know Disney is (crowds, crowds, crowds), it may just be a situation that makes him extremely uncomfortable yet he doesn't articulate it as such. Or he could just be a self-centered jerk who doesn't want to spend intensive hours doing "kid" things. Only the OP knows that.

 

[sam_gordon]

I'm not crazy about the parks anymore. The crowds, the cost, the hassle to get there, etc just don't make Disney as "fun" anymore. However, it's important to my family so I go. What does he not like about the parks? Would he be interested in Universal? Would he be willing to do two days at Disney, and then go somewhere else for the remainder of vacation (beach, cruise, resort, etc)? How often do you go? How long do you stay?

I would have the kids talk to him and tell them why they like having him with them.

 

[Micca]

Leave him at home, maybe he can hunt or wrench on some cars for a week, it'll do him good. You & the kids go to WDW and have a great time, the kids will forget about missing dad as soon as they set foot on property. When you return home, hopefully everyone will be glad to see each other and life will go on.

 

[Mizzoufan]

As a mom and a human I do a lot of stuff I hate on a daily basis.

 

[Wishing on a star]

EVERY vacation trip does not have to include both you and your DH.
That is completely fine.
Nothing wrong with each of you taking solo trips occasionally.

My question is, regarding your DH, what DOES he like to do with his kids/family?
I am wondering if that is a factor here.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG!!!!! Mizzou, I just liked your post.. and I wish I could LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it.
I think that some men simply do not realize this, and think they should just never have to do anything that they do not really want to do.

 

[sam_gordon]

OMG!!!!! Mizzou, I just liked your post.. and I wish I could LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it.
I think that some men simply do not realize this, and think they should just never have to do anything that they do not really want to do.

OK, I'm curious... why are you so opposed to quoting people? I've seen it in many of your posts, you reference a post earlier in the thread, but don't quote it, forcing the reader to guess what you're talking about or go back and try to find it.