worried mommy

[Trinity721]

My DD will be almost 10 months when DH and I go to WDW May 11th. WE were thinking of possibly going to PI that night for a little while, and leaving her with a sitter. But I'm so nervous and worried! I have NEVER had a babysitter, I'm lucky enough to have parents that absolutely can't get enough of her so they are always wanting to watch her. Anyways, so far from what I've seen the sitter services at WDW have all been good and trustworthy. Someone help me get over my seperation anxiety! hehe.

And to make it worse, one of my friends was telling me of kidnappings, and how these people take kids into bathrooms, change their clothes and cut their hair to change their appearances. Then they sedate the kids, and carry them right out! SCARY! Anyone hear of anything like this in the parks?

Am I just being a paranoid mother?

 

[mcnuss]

First of all, I would hesitate to call someone who told you such a horrible story a "friend". Why would she want to scare you like that? Most of those stories are hoaxes. They roam around the internet and people spread them. Go to www.hoaxbusters.org and you'll be shocked at how many of those sad emails you've gotten are totally made up.

Reality is that over 90% (may be like 95%) of the kidnappings in the US are by non-custodial parents or other family members. Stranger kidnappings are rare. For real stats., go to http://www.missingkids.org/. I believe that in 1999, 99% of the abducted children were returned unharmed. (This is all from memory from a seminar at DD's school.)

Second, your 10 month old is never going to out of your sight in the parks, so how would he be kidnapped?

Last, I used the Fairy Godmothers when DD was 3. The woman was older, and DD was disappointed. At that time, we rarely used babysitters (it's amazing how that changes by the time your child is 9!!) and in her mind, babysitters were young, cool women, so she was disappointed. But the woman was great, and took it in stride, and they had a lovely 3 hours together. The company that contracts out the sitting is very reputable - I believe it used to be Kindercare which is one of the top rated child care orgs in the US, but I do not know if it still is. Disney would be crazy not to be super careful. They screen these people to the max!

Since you are so worried, I would skip PI and have a nice dinner at your resort or at a restaurant really close by. That way, you can "Drop in" on them if you need to. (ps: all babysitters should be 100% ok with a drop in, no matter where you hire them.)

Have fun!!!

 

[Trinity721]

Yeah, I thought those stories were outrageous. I think my friend meant well. She is actually my DD's godmother, and is just watching out. Sometimes I think she can get more paranoid that I can be! hehe. In any case, you never know what can happen... I think Elizbeth Smart was a good example for that, God bless her heart. But you're so right! DD will never be out of my sight. I think a lot of those abductions can happen when you ask a stranger to watch the child for a minute, but why would you do that? Thank you so much for the links. Helps to be informed.

We might be able to do just a nice dinner. We're actually going with a couple who has a son same age as DD. Maybe we'll baby swap, so they can go out as well!

Thanks for easing my fears!

 

[lildeb724]

ok - so before you read further i will tell you that everyone I have ever known has told me that I am the most relaxed first time mother ever.
Now - I travel a lot with my daugter (I think 7 trips involving planes and a couple driving trips involving hotels before my daughter turned two is a lot) I have used a babysitter on every trip. Starting from the time my daughter was 8 weeks old and I had a business trip to Boca Raton (i hadn't even really returned from my leave yet) and just recently on a business trip to Arizona. I have always had good experiences and I think parents need a break too. My DD is now 26 months old, I think she handles new people and new situations very well, partly because she is used to it now. And now here is where you all will probably yell at me - but the truth is no one is going to take your child from a disney hotel - the place stakes their reputation on families having a good time. So really the worst case scenario is that your child cries for a while and maybe doesn't have dinner, but you get that sanity break that you need. Best Case scenario is you get a great sitter who your kid loves and he/she eats for her and sleeps for her and she is so great you ask her to come back again before your vacation is over.

Good Luck

 

[stacy6552]

PI isnt worth the concern you have, expecially if you will be worried the entire time you are there. so skip it.

yu did hear an urban legend about the kidnapping. But as a kidnapping paranoid myself I can tell you perchentages mean nothing when once in a lifetime is unacceptable. Do what you need to to feel safe and comfortable and relaxed. its a vacation!

 

[MELSMICE]

This question has come up before so you will probably get many different opinions about it.

I would not leave my DD's with a stranger when they were younger (or now for that matter). I know the sitter services are reputable, but I never felt comfortable doing that so we had always decided against it. JMO. My DH would have loved to spend an evening together at PI, but we probably wouldn't have had a good time anyway worrying about the girls.

Anyway, if you are that hesitant about it, skip PI by yourselves. I'd try the babyswap thing or just wait until you get home for an evening out.

I have never heard bad things about the Fairy Godmother services, we just decided it wasn't the right thing for us.

 

[perpetualplanner]

Since you already have another couple with you, and they'd probably like a night out too do the babyswap. Everyone would end up feeling better and really be able to have a nice relaxing night out.

 

[BevS97]

I would work out a swap with your friends, that way you each get a night out, and noone needs to worry.

Personally, I wouldn't use a sitter from a service- we have used the kids clubs now that my dd is old enough, but I feel that with a kids club there are lots of adults in charge, and if one of them was not 100% brilliant the other adults would pick up on that.
With a sitter, you are in a 1 on 1 situation with just that one adult and your child, and I am just more nervous about that scenario.

Bev

 

[Synonymous]

Go ahead and get a sitter. We've done it just about every trip and always had a good experience. There's a thread going on right now asking specifically for people's BAD experiences with the sitters, and no one can come up with any. If there were any, you would certainly know about it.

You'll have a good time at PI. I don't believe in letting paranoia rule your life.

 

[cinmell]

Originally posted by Trinity721
We might be able to do just a nice dinner. We're actually going with a couple who has a son same age as DD. Maybe we'll baby swap, so they can go out as well!

That's a great idea! You'll feel comfortable and be able to relax because you child will be with someone you know and trust. Enjoy!

 

[phamton]

Originally posted by Trinity721

And to make it worse, one of my friends was telling me of kidnappings, and how these people take kids into bathrooms, change their clothes and cut their hair to change their appearances. Then they sedate the kids, and carry them right out! SCARY! Anyone hear of anything like this in the parks?

From http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/kidnap.htm

In truth, no child has ever been kidnapped from a Disney theme park

The hair dying story is at that url also.

 

[luvflorida]

I'm sure there will be people who read this and will disagree completely with me on this, but here goes: My children are now 22, 19, and 12 years old, and my husband and I have taken them on countless vacations from the time they were infants. We have flown with them and driven with them. Not once in 22 years have we ever used any type of babysitting service when on a vacation. First of all, I would have been extremely nervous and I would have worried about them the entire time we were apart, and I never would have been able to enjoy the time away from them. Second of all, when we took our vacations and took the kids with us, we did it with the idea that we wanted to spend the time with them, not away from them. I've never understood why people would go on a vacation with children and then leave them for part of the time with a babysitter or some type of service.

If my husband and I wanted to spend time alone on a vacation, then we would plan one without the kids. The kids would stay with Grandparents or other relatives. I know there are plenty of people who will think we're crazy, or paranoid, but the sitter-vacation thing is just something we would never do.

 

[Synonymous]

Just because you want to spend a few hours as a couple doesn't mean you don't want to be with your kids. Wanting to spend time as a family doesn't mean you have to spend every second of every day duct-taped to each other.

 

[Trinity721]

quite a range of opinions i'm seeing here, as MELSMICE predicted. I won't be using any sitter service. I'm a believer of following your gut feeling, and I'm just not comfortable with it however reputable they are. I know they've worked out well for other families, but it's just not for me.

Also, I would think that if a child was kidnapped in Disney the public would surely know about it.

quote:
Wanting to spend time as a family doesn't mean you have to spend every second of every day duct-taped to each other.

LOL! wow, the image i just got in my head....

I respect everyone's opinion, whether I agree or not. I mean we love our daughter and love every minute with her. Wanting an hour or two on our own doesn't make us bad parents in my opinion. I just thought we could let our friends watch her, since she'll probably be exhausted and asleep by that time. Then DH and I could get dinner, and then let our friends do the same.

 

[MELSMICE]

Originally posted by luvflorida
If my husband and I wanted to spend time alone on a vacation, then we would plan one without the kids. The kids would stay with Grandparents or other relatives. I know there are plenty of people who will think we're crazy, or paranoid, but the sitter-vacation thing is just something we would never do.

That's pretty much what we do. We have our "couple" vacations & then our family vacations & I love spending time with the kids on the family vacations.

Just because you want to spend a few hours as a couple doesn't mean you don't want to be with your kids. Wanting to spend time as a family doesn't mean you have to spend every second of every day duct-taped to each other.

Synonymous - you're certainly right. For us though, the fun of the family vacation is spending time with the kids. We make so many great memories (especially as they get older) that I don't want to miss one thing with them. All too soon, they'll be grown & won't want to vacation with us or won't be able to because of conflicting schedules.

I think this is one of those topics that everyone has their own opinion on. Neither is right or wrong. Each individual family does what they feel most comfortable with.

 

[lildeb724]

I am glad that some of you are lucky enough to have family who can care for your children while you have a "couples" vacation - I do not have that luxury when (my mom died when my daughter was 5 months old - the other grandparents are too old to care for children for even a long weekend) - So I am not waiting 18 years to get a night out when i am on vacation - i love my daughter, but I work full time as does my husband - so i can give my daughter the best of everything( including me - i am really not the stay at home type). But when I am on vacation I want some me (and couples time) while on vacation. So for those of you who don't understand how someone can use a babysitter on vacation maybe you are lucky enough to have your mom their to help all the time (or maybe even take your kids to WDW)- i do not have that luxury

 

[mcnuss]

phamton -- Thanks for that link, awesome!

I have a friend who believes every one of those garbage emails (and forwards them, ugh). I'll point her to this, thanks.

trinity -- you didn't tell us at first that you were going to have other adult friends with you! That changes everything of course.

Have a good trip.

 

[MELSMICE]

Originally posted by lildeb724
So for those of you who don't understand how someone can use a babysitter on vacation maybe you are lucky enough to have your mom their to help all the time (or maybe even take your kids to WDW)- i do not have that luxury

I don't think it's a matter of not understanding. I just think it's a difference of opinions, different comfort levels for everyone and different situations.

 

[Baloo]

Trinity... I think you found the answer to your own question with swapping parents night out with your friends...sounds like the perfect solution especially feeling the way you do.

lildeb... there's no problem with you getting a babysitter if that's how you feel and had good expriences in the past.In fact I'm glad to hear it.It's nice to hear there are services out there that can be trusted.

Melmice...love the duct tape line...I'm getting a mental picture too!LOL!!!

 

[Bird-Mom]

I would NEVER leave my dd with a stranger. NEVER We live 3000 miles away from family, so she has never had a sitter and likely never will. Why bother having children if you are going to have someone else care for them?