10 year forced to wear thrift stoores clothes as punishment

[DisneyOma]

I don't think this was the right way to deal with this. The girl should have been taught there is nothing wrong with buying clothes at a thrift store instead of parents backing up her belief that thrift store clothes are horrible

A Utah woman forced her fiance's 10-year-old daughter to wear an unflattering wardrobe to school after a teacher said the girl was bullying another classmate over the way she dresses.

A teacher at the Viewmont Elementary school in Murray last week emailed Mark, the father of Kaylee, and his fianceé Ally, explaining that she was harassing another student for three weeks, Fox13 reports. The last names of the family were not revealed to protect their privacy.

“She would take her out on the playground and call her names, and tell her she was a slob and tell her she dressed like a sleaze,” Allly told the station.

As punishment, Ally went to a local thrift shop and purchased around $50 worth of clothing that she thought her daughter wouldn’t want to wear. Kaylee said she cried when she first saw the clothes, Fox13 reports.

Kaylee added that students talked behind her back about the clothes when she wore them to school last week. Her teacher was notified beforehand and the punishment lasted two days.

“We did it because we wanted our daughter to learn something very valuable that touched home and touched her heart,” Ally said.
\

I think she went to the thrift store to find some inexpensive clothing, clothing that looked worn, clothing that wasn't brand-new fancy label. I know you can find that fancy stuff at a thrift store, but you can also find some sad looking stuff there too. I guess she could have run into a walmart and got some clothing that wasn't trendy label, but perhaps the thrift store was closer?

You don't think putting her in thrift store clothes to shame her drives home that thrift store clothes are bad? Not a snarky question just curious. The attitude that people who wear non designer clothes are "less then" had to come from somewhere. My guess is she got that attitude from home. Like I said, not entirely sure exactly what I would do.

I think the girl thought labels were important - the stepmom-to-be might not have. People are putting their own spin on the situation.

My younger daughter was bullied in middle school about her clothing. Her UGG boots were the short ones, her pants bootcut, how dare she wear designer labels? When those little mean girls were seniors in high school my daughter shared her experience with the teachers responsible for superlatives for students. Those girls got no recognition at graduation. "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

 

[Westcoastwild]

No, but the mother went and bought the clothes with the intention of getting things the girl would hate to wear, in other words intentionally humiliating the child. I shop at thrift stores all the time, and I obviously don't think it's humiliating to wear clothes from them. Are there still specific items there that I wouldn't wear/would be humiliated to wear? Of course! If I looked, I could find those items. But I could also find those items at the mall, so. The point is that the clothes which the girl was given to wear were intentionally picked to make her feel bad about what she was wearing. At least, that's the idea I got

Yeah, that's the part I disagree with too. Putting the kid on a temporary thrift store diet would have been a better solution.

I think the kid would still be humiliated but by her own lack of choices not by something someone is forcing her to wear

 

[lifesavacation]

I don't think it's that big of a deal honestly, But, then again, I don't think there's anything wrong with shopping at a thrift store. When my kids were younger, they would lose their coats at school....at least 1 a year. I would buy the first one new and then shop for replacements at the thrift store.

And I was 1 of 4 kids growing up. I never had new clothes. They were always hand-me-downs. I guess I should have felt humiliated because my clothes weren't new and of the latest off-the-rack style.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think it's a case of "let the punishment fit the crime". The kid was teasing others for what they wore, so the parents put her in a position to learn exactly what that felt like. Was it the absolute best way to accomplish that in the entire world? Maybe not...but I think it was probably good enough.

 

[DizBelle]

I don't think it was "thrift store clothes" that the girl didn't like. It was that they were clothes the girl didn't like (that happen to come from a thrift store).

Mom could have easily gone to Macy's and bought clothes the girl didn't like. But that would have been more expensive.

 

[Disney_traveler]

Just my two cents here:
I've worn hand me downs from my cousins and I've bought clothes from walmart or other non name brand/cheap stores, but personally, wearing hand me downs/thrift store clothes from someone I dont know just grosses me out. Yes I know you wash clothes. Yes I know other people I don't know try on clothes that I try on/buy at the store. It's just the thought that someone I don't know lived their life in those clothes.

 

[DisneyOma]

Yeah, that's the part I disagree with too. Putting the kid on a temporary thrift store diet would have been a better solution.

I think the kid would still be humiliated but by her own lack of choices not by something someone is forcing her to wear

What's the difference? The adult picked out the clothes. Why does the kid get to pick out the clothes? There are some nice labels at our local thrift store - would she be allowed to buy those? What point would that make?

 

[chicagoshannon]

Why did she spend $50 for 2 days of clothes at a thrift store. You'd think the kind of clothes this lady was looking for should cost less than $10.

 

[Westcoastwild]

What's the difference? The adult picked out the clothes. Why does the kid get to pick out the clothes? There are some nice labels at our local thrift store - would she be allowed to buy those? What point would that make?

I'm assuming the kid has a thing for new and shiny. A lot of kids I grew up with did. The punishment is being forced to wear second hand clothes and have to consider a budget, and having to settle for what you can get.

It seems like not much of a punishment but I've met tweens who think being forced to shop from the SALES RACK is a punishment.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Why did she spend $50 for 2 days of clothes at a thrift store. You'd think the kind of clothes this lady was looking for should cost less than $10.

Lol, that's what I wondered too. I wouldn't be buying stuff at the thrift store if 2 outfits cost me $50.

 

[mjkacmom]

Maybe she bought clothes her daughter wouldn't want to wear at the thrift shop to save money? I wouldn't want to buy brand new ugly clothes, she said she made her wear clothes she wouldn't like. They might've been unstylish, not because they were second hand. Some of my kids are very picky about clothes (and I have one who would never purchase anything new - she just takes friends' hand me downs.

 

[danielocha30]

it was well deserved! She bullied another girl, now she can appreciate what she had before, the problem is that this became public! I see no abuse toward the girl, why is on the news? And I have no problem with hand me downs or buying used, actually is very smart to do it specially with children's clothing

 

[Pooh2]

Why did this make the news?

Just another case of a parent looking for attention by publicly embarrassing her kid.
If it were truly about teaching her child a lesson, it would have been handled privately without broadcasting the deed on social media or contacting a news station.
As for the news station running this a news, must have been a slow news day and needed to fill some air time??

 

[bookgirl]

Would you all have felt better if she went to the mall and paid full price for ugly retail clothing for her to wear?

I don't think it matters where she bought the stuff. The fact is that to the child the clothing was not what she would have chosen and that is what she wore. The lesson learned is that sometimes you can't control what you have to wear and it hurts when others make fun of what you for that. I don't think it was wrong.

Personally I think for kids all punishment is embarrassing. Whether it's having to wear ugly clothes or telling your friends that you are not allowed to hang out because you are grounded or on restriction. So I don't understand the outrage over this punishment.

If you never want to embarrass your kid then don't ever tell them no especially in front of others, don't ever do anything that makes them have to let someone know they are on restriction, and don't ever tell anyone that they have done something wrong. Those are all humiliating to a child. Oh and if you don't want them to learn that sometimes you have to toe the line to others because they have more authority, then you don't ever get to tell your kid what to do because most of parenting is using your authority over your child.

I helped raise twin boys and as much as it annoyed me when I was their age, sometimes the answer is 'because I'm the adult and you're the child and I'm the one who makes the decision on what is okay and not okay'. Just a fact of life.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Maybe she bought clothes her daughter wouldn't want to wear at the thrift shop to save money? I wouldn't want to buy brand new ugly clothes, she said she made her wear clothes she wouldn't like. They might've been unstylish, not because they were second hand. Some of my kids are very picky about clothes (and I have one who would never purchase anything new - she just takes friends' hand me downs.

No, I think the thrift store is a deliberate part of the punishment. Thrift store clothing has visible signs of being worn and are less likely to fit or be cute than say clothing from Walmart.

It's splitting hairs, but it kind of bugs me that people are referring to the father's fiancée as the mom. She isn't. And I think it does change the context of the punishment, because the relationship dynamic would matter in this situation.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Would you all have felt better if she went to the mall and paid full price for ugly retail clothing for her to wear?

I don't think it matters where she bought the stuff. The fact is that to the child the clothing was not what she would have chosen and that is what she wore. The lesson learned is that sometimes you can't control what you have to wear and it hurts when others make fun of what you for that. I don't think it was wrong.

Personally I think for kids all punishment is embarrassing. Whether it's having to wear ugly clothes or telling your friends that you are not allowed to hang out because you are grounded or on restriction. So I don't understand the outrage over this punishment.

If you never want to embarrass your kid then don't ever tell them no especially in front of others, don't ever do anything that makes them have to let someone know they are on restriction, and don't ever tell anyone that they have done something wrong. Those are all humiliating to a child. Oh and if you don't want them to learn that sometimes you have to toe the line to others because they have more authority, then you don't ever get to tell your kid what to do because most of parenting is using your authority over your child.

I helped raise twin boys and as much as it annoyed me when I was their age, sometimes the answer is 'because I'm the adult and you're the child and I'm the one who makes the decision on what is okay and not okay'. Just a fact of life.

You forgot: call them by their baby nickname in front of their friends, hug them in public, wear a really hideous sweatshirt to school functions. Mom's favorite was the last one. If it hadn't been genuinely her favorite sweatshirt ever (she still laments its demise) my sister would have set that thing on fire.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ok I looked it up, this happened 4 years ago, and the clothes she bought appeared more goofy than old and worn.

 

[sam_gordon]

Kind of like spanking a child for hitting you.

I know this will spin off, but some of us believe spanking (NOTE: not "beating") IS a valid punishment depending on the situation. I know others disagree, and that's fine.

 

[Shanti]

I don't see a problem with the punishment...I don't think it matters how much you talk to them, that will go in one ear and out the other.

Agreed. This is a memory that the child will always keep with her, and that will inform her future actions and opinions in regards to judging people based on their clothes. Whereas if the girl was just talked to & allowed to keep wearing her designer wardrobe, she would likely nod apologetically but keep feeling/acting smugly superior based on her clothing.

Assuming the thrift store clothes were properly fitting and school-appropriate, I see nothing wrong with this. More children need to learn this lesson, actually. I'm glad her parents care enough to teach it.

 

[mummabear]

I think the girl could have easily learnt the lesson that she was the same person wearing the thrift store clothes as she was wearing her expensive labels. She could have learnt to judge the person not the outfit