Would You Allow Your 2-year old to Walk Behind You?

[jaiminee krikit]

DD14 held my hand until about 4 years ago. Everywhere. That is way too young to not at least be next to a parent.

 

[mom2rtk]

No.

 

[ols386]

No way would I do that, especially in Frankenmuth. The streets are much too busy. And during the summer, even the sidewalks are usually busy, weekends and weekdays.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Me, personally - heck no. My son is very well-behaved, but he's also a toddler - he gets a notion and boom, he's off and running. He gets 2 choices - hold Mama or Daddy's hand, or wear his monkey backpack/leash if he wants some freedom. No way would I allow him to walk freely behind me.

 

[StephMK]

No I wouldn't and it bothers me when I see kids lagging behind parents in parking lots too. It would be so easy to see an adult pass behind and think it's clear to reverse or even go forward when they are dmall.

 

[Sweetpancake]

Not a chance! That child should be holding someone's hand as well. I went out with my sister's kids today and ensured everyone was holding someone's hand. Some people are so careless.

 

[brockash]

Yesterday we were waiting for the brewery in Frankenmuth to open (at 11 a.m.) so we could have an early lunch and have our DD and her DH's growlers filled so we were just sitting in the car as we still had a few minutes to go.

We were facing the road and as the town is a tourist area there was "people watching" involved. There was a young couple with a toddler, he looked around 2 years old. They were letting him walk behind them. Actually the woman was first, then her husband/boyfriend, then the child. The woman never looked back, but the man did a couple times, I guess to make sure the child was still following.

I cringed because the road is busy, and with some truck traffic too. I would never in a million years allow a child that young to walk behind me. He would be walking WITH me, holding my hand tightly, or he would be carried or in a stroller. The couple didn't have their eyes on the child most of the time, he could have decided to run out into the road and it could have been tragic.

So, if you have a young child do you allow them to walk behind you on the sidewalk? The street was 4 (or 5, can't remember if there was a left turn lane or not) lanes and lots of traffic. Lots of stores, gift shops, restaurants, etc.

Of course not. I've seen it happen and yes I judge and in my mind rightfully so. It infuriates me when I see adults show a complete lack of regard for the well-being of an unknowing child.

 

[ShellieMimi]

DD14 held my hand until about 4 years ago. Everywhere. That is way too young to not at least be next to a parent.

Barring any developmental delays, requiring a 10yo to hold your hand "everywhere" is ridiculous.

 

[indimom]

No, I would not allow a two year to walk behind me. At that age, I am holding their hand.
By 3 or 4, if they showed themselves trustworthy, I may not hold their hand, but they would be within "grabbing" distance, in front of or beside me, where I can make sure they are safe.
In parking lots, I would not let my children walk behind me even in early grade school. My kids were small (DD is only 5'1" at full grown). People could easily think the area is clear, especially in large SUVs or vans backing up, and hit a small child.

All of that said, as a driver in parking lots and congested pedestrian areas, I drive with EXTREME caution. Kids can be unpredictable at the best of times, and even parents who are trying to do everything "right" could be taken unaware.
I figure the more people watching out for children the better.

 

[mjkacmom]

To be fair, you can't always hold hands (as a SAHM, I went on tons of neighborhood walks with my 5 kids). In parking lots, everyone had to be holding on to someone, we were a pack, but that wouldn't have worked on sidewalks).

 

[Magpie]

DD14 held my hand until about 4 years ago. Everywhere. That is way too young to not at least be next to a parent.

Um...

At age 10, was she holding your hand because she wanted to? Or because you required it?

By age 10, my kids were capable of going to the neighbourhood store alone and picking up groceries for me. They were capable of getting on public transit and going to the local pool with friends. My son had his own paper route. They could stay home alone for short periods. And they were definitely capable of walking down the sidewalk without holding my hand. My son had given up hand-holding years earlier.

Though, to be fair, my daughter did often choose to hold my hand, simply because she's an affectionate sort of person. She's 21 now and still sometimes reaches out to hold my hand, or her father's hand.

So, what kind of hand-holding are you talking about? The "I love my parents!" hand holding, or the "I must hold my child's hand to keep them from darting into traffic!" kind of hand holding?

 

[Wishing on a star]

NO....
NEVER.....

Wow... just wow....

 

[DumboDash2006]

No I would not. Not in any crowded area or near a busy street. And I've been to Frankenmuth many times and know that street. OMG, no way! That place is crazy on weekends and holidays esp. So many people trying to cross the street and not waching where they are going, same for drivers, trying to find a parking place etc. When we were there for mother's day weekend (Sat, not Sunday), we were pulling out of the Bavarian Inn to go across the street to find a spot and people walked right in front of our car. It's madness.

 

[jaiminee krikit]

Barring any developmental delays, requiring a 10yo to hold your hand "everywhere" is ridiculous.

I never said I require it. I said she still did it. And I've seen kids even older than that who should be holding their parents hand just to keep them in line.

Um...

At age 10, was she holding your hand because she wanted to? Or because you required it?

By age 10, my kids were capable of going to the neighbourhood store alone and picking up groceries for me. They were capable of getting on public transit and going to the local pool with friends. My son had his own paper route. They could stay home alone for short periods. And they were definitely capable of walking down the sidewalk without holding my hand. My son had given up hand-holding years earlier.

Though, to be fair, my daughter did often choose to hold my hand, simply because she's an affectionate sort of person. She's 21 now and still sometimes reaches out to hold my hand, or her father's hand.

So, what kind of hand-holding are you talking about? The "I love my parents!" hand holding, or the "I must hold my child's hand to keep them from darting into traffic!" kind of hand holding?

It was more because she actually wanted to because she was used to it. I didn't force it and she would insist. My 10 year old knew better than to dart into traffic. And even at 14 she will also occasionally still reach for my hand.

 

[Klayfish]

Meh, I might. As a few others pointed out, it would really depend on the situation. On a sidewalk next to a busy road, no I wouldn't. But if we're walking through the grocery store, sure. Not have them wander an aisle all alone, but if they're a few steps behind me, that's fine. Sometimes you do that "game" to make them follow you. You know how that goes...."C'mon Johnny, time to go". "No mommy/daddy" "OK Johnny, we're leaving, bye" (you start to take a few steps). "Wait mommy/daddy!!!" (child comes running).

As for being 10 years old, I've got 10 year old twins. DS10 hardly wants to give me or DW a high five, let alone hold our hand. DD10 is a daddy's girl, she'll hold my hand if we're playing around, but I never ask her to for safety reasons.

 

[Magpie]

I never said I require it. I said she still did it. And I've seen kids even older than that who should be holding their parents hand just to keep them in line.

It was more because she actually wanted to because she was used to it. I didn't force it and she would insist. My 10 year old knew better than to dart into traffic. And even at 14 she will also occasionally still reach for my hand.

Mine, too. That's why I asked for clarification.

I think it's more a matter of personality, than training, that influences how long kids will hold your hand. My very independent son stopped holding my hand as soon as he could... probably around age 4, though I did always walk beside or behind him at that age. He's a deeply paranoid, cautious soul who I was never worried would dart into traffic (though I fully acknowledge he could have, it just didn't seem likely in his particular case). In fact, for years I didn't let his big sister cross the road without him, because I knew he'd always look for danger in every direction (including from above - it's important to stay alert for pterodactyl attacks, I suppose).

As for whether there are kids even older than 10 who should still be holding their parent's hand... well, there are likely 35 year olds who should also be holding someone's hand whenever they're out in public. At some point you just have to throw the towel in and hope for the best.

Not at age 2, though. I think we're all in agreement here on that.

 

[rastahomie]

When I was a kid, my dad would always push me in front of him so he could see me. Even as a child, I quickly realized the problem with this arrangement: how the hell was I supposed to know where he was going?

So I asked him, "Dad, how the hell am I supposed to know where you're going?" He was not amused.

 

[Micca]

We have a walking/bike path near our home and sometimes we take DGDs out for a "nature walk." We might let them straggle a few feet behind us but even that has some risk if an inattentive biker were to roll through. If we were anywhere near a street or in a parking lot, no way.

 

[rastahomie]

I'll just leave this here.

 

[Klayfish]

I'll just leave this here.

Oh man, you just had to go there, didn't you? Children on leashes...