MamaMermaid
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2021
I hear you. My dad died suddenly in 2020 and this is exactly how I feel about Father's Day. Lots of love to all those struggling these next two months/holidays.
YesI know too that women who had abortions can have trouble dealing with Mother’s Day.
To me it's celebrating those women too because not having children doesn't make them any less worthy of consideration especially in a society that still stigmatizes this.I find it rather odd that women who chose to remain childless are included. Seems to me to suggest that those who've so chosen must regret being childless or feel left out.
Mother's Day has never been difficult for me. In fact, I'm thankful I chose not to have children and that I live in an era when that is possible. I would not have been a good mother.
If anything, it's a day I simply don't notice or disregard as irrelevant since both my mother and MIL are gone.
I don't care for the commercialism associated with the day either.
As someone who has chosen to be childless, Mother’s Day brings out a lot more of the nagging questions about why I don’t have them, or I will be sorry I don’t have them, or awww, it’s too bad no one is celebrating you today. I did not make the choice lightly, and it’s so annoying when people question it, all the while acting superior because they did have children. My choice is just as valid as theirs. So I usually don’t go out on Mother’s Day at all.I find it rather odd that women who chose to remain childless are included. Seems to me to suggest that those who've so chosen must regret being childless or feel left out.
A couple years back my step-father-in-law without any ill intent on Father's Day mentioned at breakfast to my husband "maybe next year you'll be celebrating it too"...people don't always realize the type of intrusiveness that can happen still or the type of comments made.As someone who has chosen to be childless, Mother’s Day brings out a lot more of the nagging questions about why I don’t have them, or I will be sorry I don’t have them, or awww, it’s too bad no one is celebrating you today. I did not make the choice lightly, and it’s so annoying when people question it, all the while acting superior because they did have children. My choice is just as valid as theirs. So I usually don’t go out on Mother’s Day at all.
I have lost both my parents, and my dad’s birthday is in early May, and often fell on Mother’s Day. It’s kind of a double whammy emotionally, and I am glad when we get to the middle of the month.
That’s a dig. The flower doesn’t lessen that. She never said or gave any indication of feeling less. It’s Mother’s Day. It’s to celebrate mothers and to remember deceased mothers.To me it's celebrating those women too because not having children doesn't make them any less worthy of consideration especially in a society that still stigmatizes this.
I'm sorry you don't see it as a positive way of recognizing your value
No dig whatsoever actually, everyone has value here and everyone is deserving of recognition even if it was their choice that does not mean they can't be recognized.That’s a dig. She never said or gave any indication of feeling less. It’s Mother’s Day. It’s to celebrate mothers and to remember deceased mothers.
That’s a dig. The flower doesn’t lessen that. She never said or gave any indication of feeling less. It’s Mother’s Day. It’s to celebrate mothers and to remember deceased mothers.
The bolded is an interesting word choice. I can assure you I don’t walk around thinking I’m superior because I have children. I have compassion for anyone who wants children but is unable to have them because I lived it, too, and I well remember those feelings and comments from others, etc. And I also respect others’ choices if they choose not to have children. I was on the fence for a time myself, too.As someone who has chosen to be childless, Mother’s Day brings out a lot more of the nagging questions about why I don’t have them, or I will be sorry I don’t have them, or awww, it’s too bad no one is celebrating you today. I did not make the choice lightly, and it’s so annoying when people question it, all the while acting superior because they did have children. My choice is just as valid as theirs. So I usually don’t go out on Mother’s Day at all.
I have lost both my parents, and my dad’s birthday is in early May, and often fell on Mother’s Day. It’s kind of a double whammy emotionally, and I am glad when we get to the middle of the month.
Someone who is empathetic like you wouldn’t go out of their way to try to make someone feel bad for simply living their life on their own terms. That is the difference, and I wish there were more people who could see both sides of the issue. Thank you!The bolded is an interesting word choice. I can assure you I don’t walk around thinking I’m superior because I have children. I have compassion for anyone who wants children but is unable to have them because I lived it, too, and I well remember those feelings and comments from others, etc. And I also respect others’ choices if they choose not to have children. I was on the fence for a time myself, too.
I remember being out and about with twins in a double stroller and having doors slammed right in my face, often by younger people who had no clue what it was like trying to open a door and get a big stroller through by yourself. It was usually other parents who stopped to hold the door for me, because they understood. I go out of my way to do it myself now, too. I just think our experiences are all relative.