"A happy marriage is hard work" - agree or disagree?

[DizBelle]

Do you agree or disagree?

 

[JKMJ441724]

I believe a marriage of any kind is hard work.


But oh so worth it.

 

[Hillbeans]

Agree

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Do you agree or disagree?

I don't know if I would say that it takes "work"...Perseverance maybe is a better description IMO.

 

[Disney_Gram]

Without a doubt AGREE!!!!

 

[billdob62]

It doesn't have to be "hard" work, but it diffidently requires work. Just like everything thing else, the more you put in to it, the more you get out, and the opposite is true too.

 

[luvmy3]

I disagree. I think if you have to work hard to be happy in your marriage then something is wrong in it.

 

[lizabu]

I'm happily married and it doesn't feel like hard work. Sure I don't always get my way but neither does he...but work?...I don't think so. We're just happy together...what's so hard about that?

 

[Northstar]

Agree.

And a happy marriage is worth hard work!

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I always explain it this way:

Anything of value requires constant maintenance - a house (needs painting, grass cut, cleaning, repairs), a car ( needs oil changes, washing, repairs), same with a boat.

A marriage is no different; it requires constant maintenance or it will fall apart.

 

[sbell111]

Agreed

 

[DizBelle]

Interesting that there are so many "agrees". Personally, I find that a happy marriage with my DH is quite effortless.

I guess one thing that might be useful are examples of this "hard work" that is necessary for a happy marriage. Does anyone have any examples?

 

[ilovemk76]

I'm happily married and it doesn't feel like hard work. Sure I don't always get my way but neither does he...but work?...I don't think so. We're just happy together...what's so hard about that?

ITA

Communication and compromise are needed but neither is hard work.

 

[cabanafrau]

IMO the hard part is learning to compromise with a loving heart when there is a difference of opinion. If you're lucky there are very few instances of serious differences of opinion and so much the better if the two of you have similar enough values and ambitions to remove many areas of contention and different enough to have no preference in areas where your spouse has strong preferences.

 

[stasijane]

Thats a hard one. Sometimes people can be so compatable that although it might be some work, it doesn't make it hard work. I think for me personally I would have to Disagree.

 

[Hannathy]

agree.

And a good marriage doesn't mean you are ecstatically happy every single second! That TV image is why I think a lot of young marriages dissolve.

 

[Heidict]

I always explain it this way:

Anything of value requires constant maintenance - a house (needs painting, grass cut, cleaning, repairs), a car ( needs oil changes, washing, repairs), same with a boat.

A marriage is no different; it requires constant maintenance or it will fall apart.

I think that is a good way of putting it. While I may not describe it as "hard work", a successful marriage requires attention, from both parties.

 

[StacyMarie]

I think it could go both ways, hard work or effortless. Everybody's different.

 

[Jennasis]

I can't speak for others but here's my feelings.

My first (failed) marriage was work. Hard work.

My current marriage, successful, loving, happy, comes naturally. It's no harder than breathing. Love shouldn't be hard.

 

[Andtototoo]

I disagree. I think if you have to work hard to be happy in your marriage then something is wrong in it.

ITA.

To me, working hard at something means it's a duty, an obligation, a problem to be solved. That's not happiness to me. That's work and I don't want to have to work hard in my personal life to be happy.

I'm not saying that being happy requires no effort. For example, if I want to be happy on vacation, I need to use due diligence in planning and go into it with a good attitude and willingness to be flexible. But if I had to work hard at having a good time ON vacation? Then I took the wrong vacation.

So while I think ANY relationship requires paying attention, being kind and respectful and flexibility, if I had to work to be happy in it? Then I'm in the wrong relationship.