A tip if your kids are taking a friend...

[Jinnyboom]

This has nothing to do with how to decide on payment...when the money is due, etc....
This has strictly to do with choosing the friend wisely....

I had spent a year and half planning our recent trip...and don't even want to get into what we "spent" financially...

To make a very long story short....Be ABSOLUTELY certain...that your child's chosen friend is the right one....

We planned a "glorious" pre Christmas trip....staying at the WL/AKL...all kinds of extra Christmas events planned and paid for in advance....this newly turned 15 yo girl wreaked havoc on the ENTIRE vacation....weather wasn't right...hair gets frizzy if I'm wet...the night is too dark and the day is too light....you name it...and to boot....my kids have grown up with this girl....we have known her and her family forever.....

We have been back for about three weeks now....and I am too humiliated to even post a trip report....

Please know...that I am NOT a whiner or a complainer....I find good in all that is sent my way...but I am TOTALLY sick over this....
My daughters (12 and 14 spent their entire trip...."trying to keep the peace")......

My family...came home with an empty feeling that I cannot even begin to describe........

I find myself trying to put together another WDW trip....for just us...(and perhaps a better chosen "friend")...and knowing that we can't afford it without huge sacrifice.....

Just wanted to pass this along...in the hopes that someone else may benefit............

 

[dansyr]

Please don't let it bring down the memories of your trip.
Unfortunately, 15 yr old girls are a breed in themselves. I don't think there would be any friend at that age that they would get along harmoniously for a long period of time.
I remember when I was around that age( that was quite a few yrs. ago) and my dad would take my best friend and I on vacation.
There would always be some kind of a disagreement between my friend and I. My dad just let us get through it and we always did.
Hopefully the next trip will be a better one !!!

 

[Deb & Bill]

I'm sorry your trip didn't work out like you planned. We also planned a Christmas trip (8 nights at OKW) and asked our 15 yr old niece to come with us. She was a pure joy and our 9 yr old son really enjoyed having her along. We involved her in the planning and let her know all that we were scheduling in advance. She became my husband's roller coaster buddy, since I don't do them and our son flip-flops over whether he is riding or not. This was our best trip ever. Now if it had been her 16 yr old cousin, it might have been different.

We have another trip planned for June and we are bringing our 10 yr old niece along for that one. She and our son get on famously.

 

[SC Minnie]

We are bringing along a friend for DD8 this time. It will be the friends first trip and the girls get along well at home so I have my fingers crossed. We haven't told the girls about them going together yet- the trip isn't until March and that is an eternity for an 8yo . I hope our experience is better than yours Jinnyboom. 15 is a rather difficult age anyway - I sure don't look forward to those years at my house

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

I'm so sorry your trip didn't go as planned. I'm surprised though b/c when I was about 13 I went on a camping trip with my friend's family and went out of my way to be helpful to the parents and went along with everything - whether I liked it or not! It's too bad and I hope that you and your family will be able to start planning again and that you will experience nothing but pixie dust!

 

[jennymouse]

Jinnyboom, while the circumstances of our "trips from hell" are different, I can honestly say that I can relate. In my case it was my 29 year old DD that totally ruined the trip. It was me, my DD & DGD8. I paid for all of it, ate PB & J, & balogna sandwiches for a year saving for it actually.....10 months in the planning. I planned all the extras too, MNSSHP tix, Cindy's breakfast PS, Hoop Dee Doo ressies.....A LIMO FROM THE AIRPORT. Well, you know. And it started going down hill on the flight down and got progressively worse. We were gone for 9 nights at AKL and I was ready to go home by the time we got there.

What can ya say. It happens I guess.

I started off being too humiliated to post a trip report too, but I had DISer's asking "when are you going to post a trip report?" And I love and read trip reports. For the heck of it, I posted a poll asking if they wanted the truth or a sugar coated version. The truth won hands down. So I wrote it. If you want to feel better about your trip, do a search on the trip reports board and read mine.LOL At least your trip wasn't ruined by a member of your own family.

I know what you mean about wanting another trip. Since that trip was ruined, I almost feel like I owe it to myself to book another trip...leaving DD at home of course...to make up for it.

I'm sorry it happened to both of us, but don't feel humiliated. At least you and I had the courage to admit to "trip failure!" I'm sure others have had bad trips too, but gave the "sugar coated version." At least that's what I keep telling myself.

 

[DisneyHumbug]

Several years ago we took my DD's boyfriend (who I hated). He almost ruined the trip.......but she realized what a jerk he was and dumped him when we got home. It was a blessing in disguise. Now I tell her if she gets serious with a boy, he needs to come to Disney with us so we can really check him out.

 

[TRAPPED-PARENT]

We've only invited the kid's friends on short camping trips, but when I was single I had an experience which taught me a valuable lesson. I went on a trip to Florida with a friend and we never spoke again.

What I learned is that everyone has expectations for a trip. It is extremely important to have a discussion prior to leaving home about what each person's expectations are .... "I'm planning to spend every day at the beach/pool" -- "I thought we were going into the parks every day." -- etc. You get the idea.

Now, even if it is just our immediate family, we have the discussion about what everyone is expecting from the trip and what they "just have to see". Especially when you have others along, you need to let them know the family routine -- "We are pretty frugal on lunches and breakfasts, but then have a nice sit-down for dinner." or "We tend to be morning people so like to be in the car by 8:30 am everyday and in bed by 11:00 pm." If this is something they really don't want to do, they can stay home or while on the trip make arrangements to meet up with you later in the day. (Pokey people are the one thing that can really ruin my day on a trip!!!)

It's important to communicate so there are NO SURPRISES once you've left home.

Most disappointments are because expectations aren't met -- communication and realistic expectations are the key to a happy trip regardless of who you travel with.

 

[MommaluvsDis]

My second trip to Disney included our 16yo DS who complained about standing in line! Go figure! Our third trip did NOT include him!



We were all happier!!

 

[dcfromva]

Jinnyboom,

I am really sorry to hear your trip didn't go so well. I struggled with trying to figure out who we should invite to go along with DS this past New Years. DS-14 is an only child, so he has his ways. We finally decided on his 13yr old cousin. I worried about how the trip would go (it involved a 13hour drive each way in addition to the stress of long hours at the parks). From past summers we know that sometimes when the two of them get together, they can be pretty wild.

Surprisingly, the trip went really well and out nephew was better than good (I almost have to give him angel status). DS-14 fell horribly ill on New Years Eve night and so, on New Year's Day we traded off with one of us taking sick kid duty and the other taking our nephew out to the parks. Despite DS's illness, overall we had a great trip. DN took it all in stride.

I think you should write a trip report for the lessons learned. And maybe it will help you to remember some of the bright spots in the trip (I'm hoping you at least had one or two bright spots )....


-DC

 

[Cebhfhionn]

You know what? Sometimes it doesn't have to be a kid's friend, it can be yours. A few years back I planned a trip with a friend, the time came and we were both miserable being on vacation together. She whined & complained the entire time. I am not the type of person to really complain about anything and usually just go with the flow.

That was 5 years ago and we're not really even friends anymore. It took us months, maybe a year to even speak to each other. Very sad, really......

I'm not looking forward to the time that my DS decides that he wants to bring along a friend. I'm not sure how I will handle that.

 

[MadMadamMim]

Cebhfhionn, DH and I had a similar experience with another couple - we decide it would be fun if we all went on a cruise.. boy were we wrong - by the 2nd day, DH and I had enough of the whining and being late for everything, so we did our own thing (without the other couple- thank goodness we had seperate rooms!) after that, we basically lost touch with them, and we vowed never to do it again

 

[catwho]

So sorry to hear about your vacation. It isn't any fun when there is a "whiner" in your group. This year my parents were going to bring my neice. She is a very sweet girl, but she is a major whiner/complainer. She also plays my dd's against each other (choosing to only do things with one and not the other and then switching midstream) I was beginning to dread our vacation rather than look forward to it. (un)Fortunately(?) my parents ended up having to back out and my ex-sil wouldn't let us take her ourselves (couldn't have anyway - no room left in the car) So it worked out this year. Not sure what we will do next year.

Last year when my parents went we stayed together for the first 2 days and it absolutely drove us up the wall. My parents just didnt' do things the way we did. We finally told them on Wednesday, "Guys, this is what we are doing. YOu are welcome to join us, but you have to keep up and let us know when you are leaving the group." They decided to go their seperate ways and we would meet back up for Illuminations. We hardly saw them at all on Thursday and they left Friday morning. I was sort of sad that we didn't have them with us all the time, but know that we would have felt depleted rather than fulfilled by our vacation had we all stayed together.

Try to remember the happy things and be proud that you have 2 girls who worked so hard to make the vacation peaceful!

 

[tink2dw]

I had one of those trips that you just want to foget but later mmmmm like 3 months,I could remember the joy of the rides and shows and then the magic finally touched that WDW trip. The pixie dust was just slow to arrive. Writing a trip report will help you remneber those things that were great!! Plus you will have it to look back on later when things aren't so fresh.

 

[NHLFAN]

We invited a friend of our daughter's (12yr olds) to join us for a trip to WDW in Dec. 2001...Well after 9/11 the girl and her parents backed out (due to fear of terrorism) and stuck us with USF/WDW park passes and ticket to "Cirque"....They bought the airline ticket for her so we didn't get stuck eating that...it was also too late to invite another friend.

Next week we are going to Disneyland and my DD is bringing another friend (now 13yrs old) and this friend is very eiger to go and while the first friend is mad we didn't invite her this time!!!!

We plan on letting them do their own thing at the parks and meet with us for meals etc...That worked good for me when I was allowed to take a friend each year we went to Disneyland during my teen years (boy...do I have stories to tell ).

 

[Muppet]

I am so sorry about your trip.

I have had the problem with my so called best friend and her husband.

She basicallythought of me as her tour guide for 2 weeks. We had to do what she wanted, when she wanted, and how she wanted. We ate in the same place for 6 nights beacause she refused to go anywhere else. But the worst was that she had always made out that they were so much wealthier than us, and they had the clothes, cars, furniture etc to prove it. Well wrong, they took $400 cash for 2 weeks and took out an extra credit card which they maxed in 5 days. They argued about money all the time. The worst being that she decided to spend $800 in Liz Clairborne!!! When he saw it he went awol for 6 hours.

My mum always said if you can't say anything nice say nothing at all. I didn't speak to her for the last 3 days and haven't spoken to her since and that was in 1999.

I think I learned a hard but valuable lesson. I will never share my holiday with anyone except my chap (well until we have a child).

 

[MommaluvsDis]

When I went to school (I've been out 22years now) there were 6 of us girls that grew up together and stayed, not close, but in very good touch with each other. This last time we went to Disney, I decided to ask, for some reason, one of the girls(yes, we still feel like girls at our age!) to go with us. She'd never married, no children. Well, they say you can really tell about someone when you take them on vacation with you! We all had the BEST time! She was the type that would go for all the rides, though RnR only once, said that whatever restaurant we wanted was fine with her, payed her way 100% etc. It's not easy trying to please all 4 of us but we did and had a super vacation! In fact, she's taking the Disney cruise with us next year and she and I have become best friends.

It was nice for me to have someone to do the parks with since DH and DS liked to spend the afternoons at the resort. DF and I were like the Energizer Bunny! We stayed from the time the parks opened 'til they closed. She's as excited about the upcoming cruise as I am!

 

[annsteere]

I took a 16 year old this fall. SHe was delightful. On the mornings when we got up early she nudged DD to get up and going with a smile.

I do think that clarifying expectations makes a huge difference. Mandy had to pay for her own admission (I got a discount thru MouseSavers) and we paid for everything else. So, she knew ahead of time what the trip would cost her. She knew souveniers were her own choice and cash. She knew that alcohol was out of the question and we would send her home for that one, with her parents deciding if they or she would pay the extra for changing her ticket. We discussed our itinerary and plans in advance. The first afternoon I suggested a short nap after a day at the MK and before going out to dinner, she did sortof look at me like I had two heads. But she stayed quiet on her side of the suite. Second day, she crashed for her nap like the rest of us

DD has come to expect a "vacation bonus." When friend was handed $50 at the airport for vacation spending money, she was truly excited. They knew that park snacks were "their dime" so when we paid for a coffe, Dole whip, or beaver tail, both thought of it as a special treat, not something they deserved.

The two girls and I spent the first day at the MK together. DH arrived on day 3 and then we split up except for meals.

Bottom line: the right guest can help your own kids truly appreciate the vacation you are providing. They can also add to the fun of being together.

 

[korzmom]

Back in "99" we met up with my sister and her family for one night..it was their last night and our first night there...it was the first time we were there since "90" and were pretty excited about the whole trip, untill my DB_I_L was the biggest jerk of all jerks, he made evryone in the group miserable complaining about just about everything..lines are too long, prices are too high, rides are lame..you name it he whined...to make a long story short, we couldnt wait untill they left...they went back to their hotel around dinner time and said theyd meet up with us for the fireworks that night...well we never did meet up with them, and we thought it was because it was just so crowded but later i found out they didnt come back becfause they were tired and wanted to rest up for their flight the next day...needless to say that was ablessing in disguise because the rest of our trip was great.We've been back to wdw every year since and they havent been back again, THANK GOD. now my DN's talk about going again because of all the great stories my kids tell them...it tuns out they didnt ride any of the good rides in the park and didnt see half of the shows...i cant figure out what they did!!!!some people jsut dont know how to have fun!

 

[jenjenmouse]

Here's another one for you,

Last Easter we decided to do a last minute trip and let my 15 year old step son ask a friend. The boy showed up at our house packed and ready and his mom called to ask if he had given us the money she sent with him. It was just a couple of hundred dollars but she did not want him spending it or loosing it. I asked him for it and he said "No. I want to keep it myself." We should have just forgotten it then and there because it only got worse and he complained about everything. Made fun of the characters and actually complained that the Disneyland Hotel wasn't good enough for him. "We should be staying at that hotel" he said when we drove past a huge building (I don't even know which one it was). To make it worse my stepson joined in." I don't want to ride that ride. The lines are too long." The boys when on their own with park hoppers to DL and DCA were "tired" of the parks after 2 hours and wanted to go to the room and order room service and then go to the movies. So I told dh to take over with the boys and my dd and I hit the parks solo. Not to mention the stories I overheard when we got home of girls being brought to the hotel room while we were still in the parks. So it's not just 15 year old girls that are a breed of their own.

BTW, I got to take a friend to WDW when I was 15 and we had a ball. Never even a frown between the two of us. I wish I knew what became of her, she moved and I haven't heard from her since 1983.