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MTE. I have the same issue with people who get married and then throw a wedding later on. I'd usually be happy to still attend and celebrate with the couple, but don't lie to me about what event I'm actually attending. A lot of people say it's no big deal, but if it really is no big deal, then why are you lying to your guests? It's usually because the couple knows that if they are honest, some guests won't give as much for a party as they would a wedding.
I spent quite a bit of money to travel to NYC for my cousin's wedding. It also fell on the weekend between the first and second weeks of a murder trial I was handling. I begged the judge to let us end early on Friday so I could catch a plane. I worked until after midnight every week because I knew I couldn't bring any work with my for the quick 48 hour trip to NYC. I was livid when, in the middle of the rehearsal dinner, I learned that the couple got married two days prior. I would have still made every effort to attend their party, but I was not a happy camper. I know I could have stayed home, but I have a very small family and it meant a lot to be to be there to witness my cousin's wedding. But only the parents and siblings witnessed the actual wedding.