COVID super spreading family we know **Our friend has passed away**

[DisneyOma]

Things aren't that black and white.

I'm the first to criticize those who needlessly flout precautions. But I retain empathy for those who are hanging on for dear life, trying to navigate loss of economic security, living in a pandemic without health insurance, just looking for a way to put food on the table and provide for their families.

Nobody is going to say they are wishing bad on others. It's more like not empathizing with the tough choices they are needing to make for their families. Like accusing them of wanting to kill grandma if they want to keep their business open.

These were back on page 9. Now that Dan's friend has passed away (Dan, I'm so sorry for your loss (((hugs))) it just makes it even more frustrating to me. My post that mom2rtk quoted was based on a woman who said she'd still see friends and family because she didn't think she'd be in the "small percentage" of people that would die from getting COVID. No, maybe she wouldn't die from it, but someone just did, and that someone got COVID from someone else. It wasn't about working, or finances, or anything else mentioned above. It was pure selfishness because that younger person felt she was immune to the worst of COVID so she was going to do what she wanted to do. So things really are that black and white.

BTW, my husband was tagged as a possible close contact. He's now in isolation in our bedroom and bathroom upstairs. Daughter and I have all of downstairs. He can't get tested for COVID until the day after Christmas because an earlier test could be too soon to be accurate. We won't be seeing anyone for Christmas, and we'll be opening presents quickly, in the living room with the windows open (on a blustery New England morning) with masks on. Then he'll have to go back upstairs. Not sure how we'll do a dinner, as he's the main cook for that kind of thing, but we'll manage. But he'll have to eat his alone, upstairs, in isolation. It sucks. He was playing hockey, the guy was on the other team, they had 2-3 minutes of ice time together at a time, but only got close twice, for a few seconds. All players were wearing masks (and hockey helmets with face shields), the locker rooms are closed so they arrive in most of their gear and put on pads spread out in the bleachers. They had a quick cookout afterwards, spread out in the parking lot. It was their Christmas get-together, outside.

Do I think he has COVID? Probably not. But we're doing the right thing. Luckily, school vacation just started, so as long as his test comes back negative, daughter and I don't have to isolate and miss work. Fingers crossed, as daughter just got this teaching job and she likes it. I'm also scared that if my husband has COVID, he's not in the best of health to fight it (even though he is very active, he's obese) and if I get it I'm probably going to get very sick because my immune system is wonky. Fingers crossed that he gets tested the 26th, and the results come back negative.

And again Dan, so sorry for your loss. I hope the rest of your friend's family gets through it all quickly and completely.

 

[mom2rtk]

These were back on page 9. Now that Dan's friend has passed away (Dan, I'm so sorry for your loss (((hugs))) it just makes it even more frustrating to me. My post that mom2rtk quoted was based on a woman who said she'd still see friends and family because she didn't think she'd be in the "small percentage" of people that would die from getting COVID. No, maybe she wouldn't die from it, but someone just did, and that someone got COVID from someone else. It wasn't about working, or finances, or anything else mentioned above. It was pure selfishness because that younger person felt she was immune to the worst of COVID so she was going to do what she wanted to do. So things really are that black and white.

BTW, my husband was tagged as a possible close contact. He's now in isolation in our bedroom and bathroom upstairs. Daughter and I have all of downstairs. He can't get tested for COVID until the day after Christmas because an earlier test could be too soon to be accurate. We won't be seeing anyone for Christmas, and we'll be opening presents quickly, in the living room with the windows open (on a blustery New England morning) with masks on. Then he'll have to go back upstairs. Not sure how we'll do a dinner, as he's the main cook for that kind of thing, but we'll manage. But he'll have to eat his alone, upstairs, in isolation. It sucks. He was playing hockey, the guy was on the other team, they had 2-3 minutes of ice time together at a time, but only got close twice, for a few seconds. All players were wearing masks (and hockey helmets with face shields), the locker rooms are closed so they arrive in most of their gear and put on pads spread out in the bleachers. They had a quick cookout afterwards, spread out in the parking lot. It was their Christmas get-together, outside.

Do I think he has COVID? Probably not. But we're doing the right thing. Luckily, school vacation just started, so as long as his test comes back negative, daughter and I don't have to isolate and miss work. Fingers crossed, as daughter just got this teaching job and she likes it. I'm also scared that if my husband has COVID, he's not in the best of health to fight it (even though he is very active, he's obese) and if I get it I'm probably going to get very sick because my immune system is wonky. Fingers crossed that he gets tested the 26th, and the results come back negative.

And again Dan, so sorry for your loss. I hope the rest of your friend's family gets through it all quickly and completely.

My sympathy is saved for those acting in good faith to maintain their livelihoods, or to act in support of those maintaining their livelihoods.

I'm terribly sorry your Christmas has been disrupted. But your husband was out playing hockey with a bunch of other people in a pandemic. I don't think he fits that description.

May he stay healthy, may you stay healthy. May you have a peaceful and healthy new year. I hope he avoids others unless absolutely necessary going forward until this passes.

And @Dan Murphy I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

[DebbieB]

Dan, so sorry for the loss of your friend. I can’t believe there are people don’t take it seriously.

 

[belleatdisney]

I am so sorry Dan.

 

[ncc1701]

Sorry to read about the loss of your friend. One of the worst things about this is family can't be with people at the end of life

 

[DisneyOma]

My sympathy is saved for those acting in good faith to maintain their livelihoods, or to act in support of those maintaining their livelihoods.

I'm terribly sorry your Christmas has been disrupted. But your husband was out playing hockey with a bunch of other people in a pandemic. I don't think he fits that description.

May he stay healthy, may you stay healthy. May you have a peaceful and healthy new year. I hope he avoids others unless absolutely necessary going forward until this passes.

And @Dan Murphy I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your friend.

I think we are not understanding each other's posts very well. I feel like you criticized me for speaking out about the previous poster who said she was going to continue to ignore safety guidelines. I never said anything about livelihoods, it was all about having unsafe gatherings. My husband followed all guidelines set by the state for hockey played in an indoor rink. He followed the guidelines for outdoor gatherings as well. We're following the protocols for isolation and quarantine as well. Not really looking for sympathy, but trying to explain how one can follow the guidelines and still have to quarantine because someone else didn't follow the guidelines. And then to have someone state they were not going to follow guidelines because they didn't care about others - and have you state that we should have empathy for them. Here's the post that started all of this;

From the sounds of it out of 17 or so people positive including several in high risk groups there was only 1 hospitalization and he’s home recovering now. This is what is causing people to not be concerned. The past month or so it’s been running crazy through people around here with the same results, that the vast majority are just fine. That’s why we’re continuing to get together and not take it so seriously. My mom who’s in her late 60s with several health issues got it from her roommate who’s in her 80s a few weeks ago. The roommate was fine. My mom felt pretty crappy for about a week but is fine now. I know it’s real, I know there’s a very small amount of people whose bodies have horrible reactions to it, but I also know that the vast majority of people will be just fine. I’m not going to stop seeing friends and family on the off chance that we’ll be in the extremely small minority. If this virus had like a 50% death rate then yes I’d be barricaded in my house ordering essential items and food online and not having any contact with anyone outside of my house whatsoever. With a death rate of less than 1% I’m living my life, I’m getting together with friends, I’m having family celebrations.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think we are not understanding each other's posts very well. I feel like you criticized me for speaking out about the previous poster who said she was going to continue to ignore safety guidelines. I never said anything about livelihoods, it was all about having unsafe gatherings. My husband followed all guidelines set by the state for hockey played in an indoor rink. He followed the guidelines for outdoor gatherings as well. We're following the protocols for isolation and quarantine as well. Not really looking for sympathy, but trying to explain how one can follow the guidelines and still have to quarantine because someone else didn't follow the guidelines. And then to have someone state they were not going to follow guidelines because they didn't care about others - and have you state that we should have empathy for them. Here's the post that started all of this;

Honestly, I don't recall what the specifics of what we were discussing 8 pages back. Maybe I misunderstood, maybe you misunderstood. I don't have the time, energy or desire to go back and reread it all.

I'm glad your husband was following the guidelines for hockey play. But you're smart enough, and I presume as is he, to know this could be the ultimate outcome. It was a completely voluntary activity. Even I know from my extensive reading on the DIS that indoor ice rinks are considered a potential risk because of the dry air.

I hope you find a way to enjoy Christmas with your family.

 

[PollyannaMom]

So sorry for your loss, Dan.

 

[Meriweather]

So sorry for the loss of your friend, Dan

 

[dvcgirl67]

My sympathy is saved for those acting in good faith to maintain their livelihoods, or to act in support of those maintaining their livelihoods.

I'm terribly sorry your Christmas has been disrupted. But your husband was out playing hockey with a bunch of other people in a pandemic. I don't think he fits that description.

May he stay healthy, may you stay healthy. May you have a peaceful and healthy new year. I hope he avoids others unless absolutely necessary going forward until this passes.

And @Dan Murphy I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your friend.

Yes, hockey is high risk. Masks or no masks....there's heavy breathing and so more will be expelled around the mask...and this virus just loves that cold dry air. Our governor shut down youth hockey quite awhile ago.

DisneyOma....I hope your DH is ok and doesn't get Covid. My sister and her DH both got it, no idea how. She's had to isolate from her husband and children until day 10....which is today. Her husband can't come out until the 27th. It's just not a normal Christmas this year for so many....hopefully next year will be much better for all of us.

 

[tazdev3225]

Dan so sorry for the loss of your good friend. My youngest was an ICU nurse on the Covid unit. I have never seen her so broken, she is an incredibly strong person. Being the one to hold the hand of a patient as they passed away from this disease was getting to her. She left for the OR and has been much happier but may have to go back to the ICU for a bit. Her hospital is at over 102% capacity again.

My husband wants to take a trip to a farm for ice cream of all things with his best friend of 50 years. He is a little angry with me that I said I would prefer he does not go. His friend went to a family gathering last week and will spend Christmas with more family. The friend does not think the virus is that dangerous and does not take a lot of precautions. My husband is at high risk of complications. I came close to losing him almost 4 years ago to 2 strokes, I don't want to lose him to stupidity. I told him that if his friend is ok in 3 weeks then they can go together.

 

[momz]

I just read through your updates. I am so sorry. This is heart breaking for the family. Covid doesn't seem like a big deal to people...until it becomes a big deal. I'm sure that as this family gathered together, they measured their risk and were willing to take the chance. But they rolled the dice and lost.

We will not be gathering for Christmas. I am very sad about it. In fact, I have received insults from some family members, while others are in agreement about it. It has caused some hurt feelings. But, this is mostly coming from my older brothers who have always negated my opinions about things. What is it about older siblings? Maybe it's just mine....

Anyway, I'm am so sorry for what has happened in this family.

 

[hsmamato2]

Our friend's daughter just updated me.

Not good. We just said our goodbyes. He doesn’t want further treatment. The ventilator will not help him and he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want the bipap. He just has the nasal canula right now. It is heartbreaking. He’s very adamant. Doesn’t want any life saving measures.

They gave him Ativan and morphine and he is sleeping comfortably right now

I'm so so sorry.

 

[fla4fun]

Dan, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Even though he said he was scared, I think it was incredibly brave of him to make the decision to stop treatment when he did. I am not sure I would have that courage. I hope the rest of their family recovers, and that you and your family stay safe.

 

[piglet1979]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[crjack]

I also wanted to share my condolences for the loss of your friend. Prayers for his family and friends. Our town lost a neighbor who dedicated so much of his time volunteering with youth sports and rec camps. He was younger and in good health. I agree with momz who said it doesn't seem like a big deal until it becomes a big deal....or personal. Very sorry for your loss.

 

[rjb123]

It's not just beds anymore...it's staffing. Big, big difference between a new med/surg nurse and an experienced ICU nurse. And these nurses are exhausted. It's not just the hours that they are putting in, but the conditions in which they have to work with the PPE now, it's incredibly difficult. I've seen multiple stories in recent days about the number of nurses quitting because it's just too much.

Truth right there. I was a nurse manager years ago before returning to the bedside after my kids were born and staffing was always an issue. As my director used to say “you can’t crap an experienced nurse.” If they are not out there, they just aren’t. Back then we could get foreign nurses from the Philippines or Canada but it was costly and took forever to get the paperwork and immigration done. Believe what you will nursing is a thankless job that doesn’t pay all that well and you get treated worse than dirt. You truly have to love it and be called to it to last. My DH equates it to becoming a nun and in many ways he is not wrong. The hours are trash, the money is not great, you get spit on, kicked, hit, hair pulled, peed and pooped on and those are the not bad things that can happen. In a pandemic like this- no thanks. I’m not sure why people think that there is some army of experienced nurses just super excited to work. Lol. Denial and all that I guess.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My DH equates it to becoming a nun and in many ways he is not wrong.

We say this about the lead nurse in my department. If she wasn’t a nurse she would’ve become a nun. Funny enough She said those were her two choices and she chose nursing school.

 

[bcla]

We say this about the lead nurse in my department. If she wasn’t a nurse she would’ve become a nun. Funny enough She said those were her two choices and she chose nursing school.

When I was in HS we had a visit from someone who was both. She was a friend of our advanced biology teacher and I think had a Ph.d in nursing. She dressed in regular clothes for the visit.

 

[tinkerhon]

That extended group probably includes some who are working, some attending school or church, some being in contact with others outside the group, some going out shopping, eating out. Not a "bubble" or at best a very leaky one.

My niece (sis daughter ) is a manager in a (busy) mall store, which also doesnt thrill me