Debt Dumpers 2020

[kymom99]

I am still friends with some of my exes and have no issue with that. This relationship was really toxic though and took a long time for me to get over. It was also the first real relationship for either of us, which I think is partly what makes it so hard. It was a pretty formative time in our lives. We broke up and got back together so many times I can't remember. I do think about him from time to time, mostly wondering what he is doing with his life now. He is a pretty brilliant guy and was always intensely passionate about his interests, something that I liked so much about him when we were dating. But towards the end, all I ever felt in the relationship was extreme negativity. I guess I don't really want to open the door to all of that anymore.

I think you did the right thing. I would have done the same. It is always weird to hear from past relationships and sometimes things can take a turn you didn't expect when you open the door to being friends again.

I had, basically, a "friends with benefits" situation when I was 18/19. No bad blood between us, but it was a complicated situation at the time. We had a crazy good connection though, and I have thought about him often over the years, in a nostalgic way, because I am completely happy in my marriage.

About 10 years ago, he messaged me on FB. Started talking about our past. Asked how long I had been married. I told him "9 years" and he proceeded to say "Damn, I guess I missed my chance then, huh?" I was completely taken aback. This guy is a total player/ladies man type. I called him out on that and we had a bit of friendly back and forth for a few minutes. He has since remained my FB friend, but didn't engage me directly again until yesterday, when he started commenting on my post from my day at Disneyland. He recently moved down here from Texas and now I'm kinda thinking he is trying to get in good with me again. It's honestly making me kinda uneasy. He has recently ended a long term relationship and that was also the case when he messaged me 10 years ago. I'm not sure what to think at this point, but I am treading very carefully with my replies to him.

I married a man in a similar situation. It lasted 2 years. I should have never married him and breaking away was painful. Even after nearly 30 years I wouldn’t go back to being friends. No way. You are making the right decision.

 

[DLgal]

Oh man, my head is spinning right now.

So, it turns out, my husband will NOT be retiring this year. He has been awaiting approval of his retirement for 4 months now and we had no idea why it was being held up (it usually takes 8 weeks, max) Things were getting tense. And then, he was offered a spot at a base in San Diego that he has always wanted to work at. So, he said yes (after talking it over with me, obviously). Seems as though the Marine Corps didn't want to let him go so easily...

So now our financial situation is MUCH better than it was. We have another 2-3 years to save for his eventual transition out, which means we can loosen the purse strings a bit. This was totally unexpected, but a very happy development nonetheless. Anything that guarantees us more time down here to let the kids get through high school without needing to move them is gravy.

First matter of business is buying him a plane ticket to come home for spring break! He had been needing to conserve his vacation days to maintain a balance of 60, but now that's not a concern anymore.

I'm also thinking about squeezing in a summer vacation between when he gets home from overseas and has to report to his next job, which will be a 2 week window. It's rare that we can plan a vacation that we KNOW we can take. I will see what he wants to do. We were planning Hawaii for spring break but cancelled it for budget reasons. Not sure I want to go there in the peak of summer though. Too hot and humid.

I am still committed to my savings goals though. I don't want to be in this position again 2 years from now. I want to maintain a steady savings every month and still have the car and balance transfer paid off fully by year's end.

 

[jen7233]

Oh man, my head is spinning right now.

So, it turns out, my husband will NOT be retiring this year. He has been awaiting approval of his retirement for 4 months now and we had no idea why it was being held up (it usually takes 8 weeks, max) Things were getting tense. And then, he was offered a spot at a base in San Diego that he has always wanted to work at. So, he said yes (after talking it over with me, obviously). Seems as though the Marine Corps didn't want to let him go so easily...

So now our financial situation is MUCH better than it was. We have another 2-3 years to save for his eventual transition out, which means we can loosen the purse strings a bit. This was totally unexpected, but a very happy development nonetheless. Anything that guarantees us more time down here to let the kids get through high school without needing to move them is gravy.

First matter of business is buying him a plane ticket to come home for spring break! He had been needing to conserve his vacation days to maintain a balance of 60, but now that's not a concern anymore.

I'm also thinking about squeezing in a summer vacation between when he gets home from overseas and has to report to his next job, which will be a 2 week window. It's rare that we can plan a vacation that we KNOW we can take. I will see what he wants to do. We were planning Hawaii for spring break but cancelled it for budget reasons. Not sure I want to go there in the peak of summer though. Too hot and humid.

I am still committed to my savings goals though. I don't want to be in this position again 2 years from now. I want to maintain a steady savings every month and still have the car and balance transfer paid off fully by year's end.

That's great! Will you move to San Diego also? I have to say I envy the area!

 

[crazycatstacy]

Filing our taxes this Friday. Would rather spend the $1400 somewhere else but glad to just be done with it. Updated husband's supplemental retirement to take more out this year. We have a retirement meeting next week to see what retirement looks like with our jobs. Although I am a state employee and he is a county employee we have the same retirement which is a lifetime benefit so I'm anxious to see what it will look like for us.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Well, I went through TurboTax for our state return and we will be getting back $679. So that means once we get back our state refund and payout for the federal, we will have had to pay an additional $943 in taxes for the year. It won't kill us or anything, but I wish that number was $0.

 

[DLgal]

That's great! Will you move to San Diego also? I have to say I envy the area!

Heck no! I am never moving again.

But seriously, no, we will stay in OC. It is critical that we don't uproot our kids right now, as the school district here is meeting their special needs VERY well, and the districts down in SD are not the greatest for the programs/support they need. We only have 4 years to go before both are out of HS and this assignment can be for 3 years if we want.

It is 80 miles away, though, so my husband won't be coming home every night. Luckily, one of our very best friends from college (she's basically family to us) lives down there and has a spare bedroom and has offered to let DH stay there a few nights every week. He will likely stay there Tues-Thurs and be home Friday-Monday nights.

It is what it is at this point. The distance is really the only negative in a sea of positives about this job, and we've been through much worse separations as a family (like what we are dealing with now with him halfway around the world for a year). At the end of the day, it's only temporary and its not so far that he can't come home if he wants to at any time. It's a slight inconvenience, really.

I am one of those people that doesn't totally love San Diego. We lived there for 3 years and it was alright. It's just not for me, I guess. OC is my home.

 

[DLgal]

Our heat went out on the coldest day of the year so far. Of course. Both thermostats went dead at the same time. I had to cancel a dentist appointment to stay home and wait for the service technician. (Not sorry about that)Glad I don't have to worry about the cost! Perks of being a renter. I spoke to my landlord this morning and I will pay for the service call and she will send me a check to cover it.

Last night I booked DH a flight home for spring break. $1135. Yikes! Traveling to Japan is expensive.

I also booked my flight out to Tokyo for late May. My best friend is tagging along as a third wheel. She was NOT going to pass up a chance to go to Tokyo Disneyland! We travel to WDW together on girls trips so this will be fun. We decided to do Premium Economy for our flights because my friend is tall and I have some lower back issues and those seats have leg rests and foot rests and a lot more legroom, plus the seats are in groups of 2 and I'm weird about sitting next to a stranger on a 12 hour flight. That ticket was $1650. However, my parents offered to give me $1500 towards it, so that was nice of them.

The plane ticket for my husband changes the amount I will put into savings in March, but it was money well spent. I'll still stash away about $3000 which is great.

 

[barkley]

Filing our taxes this Friday. Would rather spend the $1400 somewhere else but glad to just be done with it. Updated husband's supplemental retirement to take more out this year. We have a retirement meeting next week to see what retirement looks like with our jobs. Although I am a state employee and he is a county employee we have the same retirement which is a lifetime benefit so I'm anxious to see what it will look like for us.

as a household with one county retiree and one state let me make a suggestion when you are looking at what your retirement may look like-review and update yourself annually on what is happening for retiree health care costs. i belong to a retired public employee's group and universally one of the biggest issues with both state and county retirement expenses is massively out of control health insurance cost. active employees see premiums go up but usually see their employer contribute a bit more, retirees are seeing government agencies cap their contributions so the full increase cost is passed on to the retiree (cost saving for the agency). we also seen our choices for retiree health plans dwindle down to a very few-and for any of us that move out of state it has gone down to 1 single plan, a single plan with horrific employee premiums (most recently-over $4000 a month for retiree/spouse) all in a move to eliminate as many retirees as possible from those insurance rolls.

this is an expense in a person's budget that can't be ignored so making yourself knowledgeable about it in the years leading up to retirement can halp you make decisions about whose plan to go under, or if its better for each to go on their own agency's plan so they have the option to jump to the other's plan if it becomes apparent one is better run/more reasonable priced than the other.

 

[crazycatstacy]

as a household with one county retiree and one state let me make a suggestion when you are looking at what your retirement may look like-review and update yourself annually on what is happening for retiree health care costs. i belong to a retired public employee's group and universally one of the biggest issues with both state and county retirement expenses is massively out of control health insurance cost. active employees see premiums go up but usually see their employer contribute a bit more, retirees are seeing government agencies cap their contributions so the full increase cost is passed on to the retiree (cost saving for the agency). we also seen our choices for retiree health plans dwindle down to a very few-and for any of us that move out of state it has gone down to 1 single plan, a single plan with horrific employee premiums (most recently-over $4000 a month for retiree/spouse) all in a move to eliminate as many retirees as possible from those insurance rolls.

this is an expense in a person's budget that can't be ignored so making yourself knowledgeable about it in the years leading up to retirement can halp you make decisions about whose plan to go under, or if its better for each to go on their own agency's plan so they have the option to jump to the other's plan if it becomes apparent one is better run/more reasonable priced than the other.

Thank you for the information. As a state employee, my insurance is free. I cover my myself, my husband and my not yet 26 year old daughter for $80 a month. My dental insurance premium is currently more than that per month! Insurance through the county is crazy expensive so it is cheaper for now to have my husband under mine. I have some friends that have already retired from the state and they have reported insurance premiums are crazy expensive. I have a friend that I currently work with that is retiring next year so we have been looking at options for her. I can only imagine that prices will continue to rise. As of right now, it would be more cost effective to get insurance through the private sector when the time comes.

 

[pblack]

@crazycatstacy that's a really good price for coverage for your husband and daughter. I work for the county and if I were to add my DH to my health insurance plan it'd be another $500 or so a month. Nope! Not happening. Mine used to be pretty much completely covered (I think I paid like $6/mo), but our premiums went up so now it's around $80/mo for just me.

 

[stindall]

We got our federal refund today! Unfortunately one of our dogs is sick so we have some unexpected vet bills now so we don’t get to pay off as much debt as we were before.

 

[pblack]

We got our federal refund today! Unfortunately one of our dogs is sick so we have some unexpected vet bills now so we don’t get to pay off as much debt as we were before.

But at least you're not accumulating more debt! Hope your pup feels better soon.

 

[dayvewc]

Well, round 1 with the VA is over. They've denied everything. I'm not quite sure how they can deny some of the issues I filed for, but they did.
My service officer is challenging the results, so it's not finished yet.

I'm just finding it really frustrating. I've spent 17 years fighting the VA to just get seen because they lost my paperwork to begin with. I'm not sure I'm temperamentally capable to handle a setback right now.

 

[stindall]

That’s true. She had some mysterious illness last summer too and so far they’re not sure what’s going on. She was very lethargic, didn’t want to eat, and she was dehydrated and cold this morning. They had to use some warming lights on her and they got her temperature up. She’s 11 so it’s not a huge shock but it’s still a bummer.

 

[DLgal]

Well, round 1 with the VA is over. They've denied everything. I'm not quite sure how they can deny some of the issues I filed for, but they did.
My service officer is challenging the results, so it's not finished yet.

I'm just finding it really frustrating. I've spent 17 years fighting the VA to just get seen because they lost my paperwork to begin with. I'm not sure I'm temperamentally capable to handle a setback right now.

So sorry for the setback. That sucks. The VA seems to default to denying everything. It's really a shame. You may need to get a lawyer involved if they don't reconsider.

 

[pblack]

I officially hit submit on my taxes this morning. It's the first time in 10 years that i've not used TurboTax, but I did not want to pay $80 to file my taxes. This year I tried out Credit Karma based on a recommendation from my co-worker and it was completely free to file. Looking to get back $2367 - $1989 of that will pay off our cruise, the rest will probably go towards Disney World.

 

[stindall]

I officially hit submit on my taxes this morning. It's the first time in 10 years that i've not used TurboTax, but I did not want to pay $80 to file my taxes. This year I tried out Credit Karma based on a recommendation from my co-worker and it was completely free to file. Looking to get back $2367 - $1989 of that will pay off our cruise, the rest will probably go towards Disney World.

We love using credit karma and are always amazed it’s free to use! I think this is the third year we used it? It’s so easy!

 

[jen7233]

Heck no! I am never moving again.

But seriously, no, we will stay in OC. It is critical that we don't uproot our kids right now, as the school district here is meeting their special needs VERY well, and the districts down in SD are not the greatest for the programs/support they need. We only have 4 years to go before both are out of HS and this assignment can be for 3 years if we want.

It is 80 miles away, though, so my husband won't be coming home every night. Luckily, one of our very best friends from college (she's basically family to us) lives down there and has a spare bedroom and has offered to let DH stay there a few nights every week. He will likely stay there Tues-Thurs and be home Friday-Monday nights.

It is what it is at this point. The distance is really the only negative in a sea of positives about this job, and we've been through much worse separations as a family (like what we are dealing with now with him halfway around the world for a year). At the end of the day, it's only temporary and its not so far that he can't come home if he wants to at any time. It's a slight inconvenience, really.

I am one of those people that doesn't totally love San Diego. We lived there for 3 years and it was alright. It's just not for me, I guess. OC is my home.

Moving is hard especially as kids get older. I know, it's all relative what areas people like, I'd love SD myself. My DH is military also but many places sometimes with Army relocations some places are not desirable in the least bit. But that is great news that it isn't very far from your home! We have yet to find our home location!

Well, I went through TurboTax for our state return and we will be getting back $679. So that means once we get back our state refund and payout for the federal, we will have had to pay an additional $943 in taxes for the year. It won't kill us or anything, but I wish that number was $0.

Yes, zero would be a much better thing! We have yet to file, probably soon. We won't owe any state as exempt, but just need to file a federal return.

That’s true. She had some mysterious illness last summer too and so far they’re not sure what’s going on. She was very lethargic, didn’t want to eat, and she was dehydrated and cold this morning. They had to use some warming lights on her and they got her temperature up. She’s 11 so it’s not a huge shock but it’s still a bummer.

Sorry to hear about your dog and vet bills. We are in the same boat currently with unknown illness and vet bills. Latest visit they ran bloodwork, it all looks good, now on a prescription diet and a third round of antibiotics. If it's not one thing, it's another. Just never seems to shake things. So far since Jan 1 have spent $700 in various vet care related expenses.

 

[jen7233]

Well, round 1 with the VA is over. They've denied everything. I'm not quite sure how they can deny some of the issues I filed for, but they did.
My service officer is challenging the results, so it's not finished yet.

I'm just finding it really frustrating. I've spent 17 years fighting the VA to just get seen because they lost my paperwork to begin with. I'm not sure I'm temperamentally capable to handle a setback right now.

They denied claim entirely and found no service connection on anything? Good your VSO is looking to assist you with an appeal.

 

[dayvewc]

So sorry for the setback. That sucks. The VA seems to default to denying everything. It's really a shame. You may need to get a lawyer involved if they don't reconsider.

Nothing is official yet, so I can't get a lawyer involved until I have an official denial.

They denied claim entirely and found no service connection on anything? Good your VSO is looking to assist you with an appeal.

Yep, according to my VSO, they have denied everything so far. Given that I've been out almost 17 years, I can understand having an uphill fight for most of my issues. I don't understand them denying the ringing in my ears. I've had persistent ringing for almost 18 years (it started while I was still enlisted). Not sure how that one, at the very least, is not easily directly service related. Also not sure how my shoulder and knee injuries aren't directly related as there are medical files from when I was enlisted, though I can understand how after all this time the degree of damage might be harder to prove. But the initial damage is in my medical records, and I don't see how they can deny that, nor deny that it has gotten worse.

It's just frustrating.