Do you and spouse/significant share a room?

[NFLDERS]

I'll be the lone dissenter here. We have separate rooms.

I have a host of medical issues as does my husband so for us to get a good nights sleep, we sleep desperate. I sleep way better since we started. It's ridiculous to think that because we sleep apart we aren't happy in our marriage. We are happier because we sleep apart. I wouldn't put up with snoring or anything night after night after night.

lone dissenter aka kimblebee: "we sleep desperate" your typo? made me

 

[leebee]

I'd like my own room. I'd probably still sleep with DH, but I'd like to have my own room for my stuff, my clothes, etc. It'd have a bed in it for those nights when DH is snoring too much, or I'm having allergy issues and need to be sitting up (and watching TV), etc. It'd be my space, for my things, with room to leave the sewing machine set up, my puzzle table set up with an ongoing puzzle, and a comfortable place to read. I might still sleep with DH, but I'd LOVE to have my own room for my things!

 

[aprilgail]

I'll be the lone dissenter here. We have separate rooms.

I have a host of medical issues as does my husband so for us to get a good nights sleep, we sleep separate. I sleep way better since we started. It's ridiculous to think that because we sleep apart we aren't happy in our marriage. We are happier because we sleep apart. I wouldn't put up with snoring or anything night after night after night.

I can not stand trying to sleep when someone is snoring- I was dating a guy that snored so bad I would end up in the living room on the couch all the time- knew just from that point that it would never work! I also do not like anyone touching me when I am sleeping-no arms on me or legs touching me, just don't like that. My parents slept in a full size bed their whole marriage (though my mom would end up on the couch most of the time because he snored so much)- I never could figure out how they could handle 2 grown adults in a full sized bed, to me a full size bed is for a teen or a single adult, certainly not two grown adults.

 

[Tauwillow]

My husband and I moved to separate rooms about 20 years ago. We love it! I love having my own space & our sleep schedules are different, so we sleep better. I wish more people felt emboldened to try it out. I hate that the stigma stops folks from finding solutions that could make life better. I know it's not the choice for most, but it made our marriage better - and I hate to think that people like me are missing out because of a sense of decorum.

 

[rastahomie]

I would love to have separate bedrooms, but Mrs. Homie won't hear of it.

To me it makes perfect sense. We have separate work schedules, so I don't always want to go to bed as early as she does because I don't have to get up as early. I like to listen to tunes when I sleep, but the light from my iPhone bothers her. I toss & turn, and the slightest jostle wakes her up.

But for some reason, she thinks it portends the end of our marriage.

 

[powellrj]

I sleep in the living room in my lift chair because of my bad back.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

For us, the key to happiness is separate sheets and blankets! We've been married for 29 years and have always had a queen bed. DH somehow ends up with the sheets and blankets wrapped around him several times, and I can't pull them back. Since it's summer, we each have our own sheet and I also have a light blanket on my side. During the winter, I usually give him the comforter and I use a nice, thick afghan that I knitted. Lately, I've been wanting a king bed. I love how much space we each get in king-sized hotel beds. I measured our room and a king will just fit. We're not ready to buy one yet, but I think it's happening in the next year or so.

One of us usually ends up on the couch when the other is sick. DS18 will be vacating his room for college in two weeks. One of us can use his bed occasionally if we need to, but neither of us will move in there permanently.

 

[DawnM]

We had separate rooms for a while. I developed sleep Apnea and he couldn't sleep, and he is a fidgety and moves literally all night long! It would shake and jolt the bed and I couldn't sleep.

My boys wanted separate rooms so we had to figure something out. We ended up getting a split king bed with foam mattresses (2 XL Twins) so I couldn't feel him.

I got a sleep study and a CPAP. So now I don't snore.

There are times I really would like to have separate rooms agin. Then I wouldn't be woken up by his alarm when I am not needing to get up, I could watch TV in bed and not disturb him, etc....

 

[E&Cmom]

I would never have separate rooms unless for medical reasons. I sleep better with him there at night. I always find it odd when i go to bed before him and the times he has been away.

Saying that, I do often work night and have no issue falling alseep alone during the day. He has no trouble sleeping when I am on nights.

 

[ronandannette]

We like to share a room; we've decorated it together and really see it as our little haven, although we don't spend much time in there other than at night. We've never talked about separate rooms but I must confess, twin beds are a fantasy of mine. We are not "sleep-touchers" and it seems with each passing year we need more personal space. I also cannot.stand. to be breathed on - it's enough to wake me from a dead sleep. Happiness would be never, ever having that happen to me again as long as I live.

 

[DisneylandDarling]

Spouses having separate bedrooms is wayyyy more common than most people assume. Not a big deal in the least. You don't have to sleep together to be married!! lol

 

[kimblebee]

lone dissenter aka kimblebee: "we sleep desperate" your typo? made me

lone dissenter aka kimblebee: "we sleep desperate" your typo? made me

I saw that too LOL

I edited my post but your quote means the typo lives on forever.

 

[Twilight Sparkle]

We've had separate rooms for about 9 years now and have been married for almost 22 years. It works for us. We have different sleep schedules and different sleep styles. He goes to bed hours earlier than I do because he's an early riser. I'm a night owl so I'm at my most productive while he's sleeping. Plus, I am an extremely light sleeper, and he snores so loudly you can hear him all the way downstairs even when his door is shut. In addition to having my own room and shutting the door, I still have to sleep with white noise to drown out the snoring. He probably does have some sort of a health problem that causes the snoring, but he won't do anything about it. No longer living with sleep deprivation (I kept waking him up to get him to stop snoring or I would toss and turn, so he was also not sleeping well) allows us to be kinder to each other during the waking hours, and that makes for a much happier marriage.

 

[Frankie Nova]

I've been married almost 30 years.
Kids are moving out/off to college and its just DH and I the majority of the time.

I find myself yearning for my own space, I want my own room. I've lived with DH since I was 19 years old and want to sleep without listening to snoring, or being woken up by tossing/turning, nighttime potty visits or just being breathed on. LOL. I'm tired of playing tug-o-war with blankets and want the animals to share the bed with me.
With DH the dog does not fit and DH is not a fan of sharing his space with the cats.

I certainly can't be alone, anyone else have their own room or want their own room?

3 years ago my wife and I were struggling for sleep she would wake me snoring and I would in turn wake her to stop. How is that quality sleep? It isn't !
I now have my own room (kids have flown the coup) and my wife and I now sleep well. Think about it Quality sleep means quality time together in the waking hours. Lack of sleep can cause one to be irritable.
Despite what some would say our marriage is fantastic !!!!
And you could have a drunken panda sleeping next to you and you would never know it because YOUR SLEEPING! LOL
Over 60% of married couples sleep apart that should tell you something!...
p.s. If my wife and I want to snuggle we just text one another

 

[lady_hlh]

My DH snores terrible and I'm a light sleeper which has gotten worse as I got older. When I first told him that I couldn't sleep in the same room any longer because I couldn't get a good nights sleep he was totally against my sleeping in the spare bedroom. Fast forward a year and now if I sleep with him because we have company he complains about me poking him to stop his snoring or how he doesn't have enough room to spread out in the queen bed. I don't know why people view sleeping in separate rooms as such a bad thing.

 

[kimj88]

We have done the separate bedrooms for couple years now and I love it. I am a very light sleeper. Both of us are horrible snorers. I like to sleep with a light on, maybe even the tv on. He likes total silence and total darkness. It took me many years to figure out that this is the answer for us. Doesn't say anything negative about our relationship, we still love each other the same.

 

[Klayfish]

I couldn't even imagine. I'm married to DW for a reason, and one of my favorite parts of my day is being able to go to sleep right next to her.

And I know I'll get roasted for this, but I just never understand the whole dog thing. We have a dog...he's a 75lb great dane and black lab mix. He's not even allowed in our bedroom, let alone on our bed. Heck no...no way, no how. He's got his own doggie bed. Our kids let him sleep in their rooms, but even they don't let him sleep on the bed. He's on the floor. Sorry, he's just a dog.

 

[Jennasis]

If my husband was a heavy snorer (like my dad...whoooo boy could he wake the dead!), I would not rest until we had exhausted every medical option to stop the snoring. Sleep apnea is no joke and is very dangerous. My mother put up with my Dad's sawmill-like snoring for their whole marriage. I'm not sure she ever got a decent night's sleep, and when my bedroom was next to theirs, neither did I. A few years ago we finally convinced him to go see a doctor about it and naturally he was diagnosed with pretty severe sleep apnea after his sleep study. He has a C-Pap and life is like brand new for them. He doesn't always use it because he doesn't like how it feels on his face, but once mom got a taste of sleep without his snoring, anytime he chooses not to wear it he has to sleep in the spare room.

 

[tvguy]

Over 60% of married couples sleep apart that should tell you something!...

25% according to the National Sleep Foundation. Even that is much much much higher than I would have predicted.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...ried-couples-sleeping-separate-beds/99818086/

 

[tvguy]

I couldn't even imagine. I'm married to DW for a reason, and one of my favorite parts of my day is being able to go to sleep right next to her.

And I know I'll get roasted for this, but I just never understand the whole dog thing. We have a dog...he's a 75lb great dane and black lab mix. He's not even allowed in our bedroom, let alone on our bed. Heck no...no way, no how. He's got his own doggie bed. Our kids let him sleep in their rooms, but even they don't let him sleep on the bed. He's on the floor. Sorry, he's just a dog.

First part I agree with 100%.
No longer have pets, but we have had 5 cats over our married live, and they slept on the bed. Now, when my son and DIL's dog visits over night, he sleeps on (or in) the bed with "Grandpa and Grandma". Pets are not as important as a spouses.....but they are a close second.