KathyRN137
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2006
I just need to share....thanks for listening!
We are a family of four; our youngest son (8yrs) is autistic and our daughter (10 yrs) is typical. We fell in love with WDW about four years ago and bought into the DVC so that we could afford an annual vacation in this truly special place. We have gone every year since then.
I have five sisters, four of whom live in the same state (N.J.). We are close. My DH is not too fond of my family; sometimes he perceives the closeness as "butting in" and he feels my sisters are too bossy toward their husbands and each other. I am the eldest. I see my sisters as strong-minded and very open and caring; I don't feel like they're bossing me around and what transpires between them and their husbands is their own business. Nevertheless, my traditional "the-man-is-the-head-of-the-house" husband can find them irksome at times. So, the relationships were not the best even before this latest issue arose.
Now, two of my sisters have also been to WDW a few times and are big fans as well. My one sister has one child, a girl, who is the same age as my DD. Last year, they decided to do a short last-minute trip to WDW and the first 2 days of their trip overlapped with the last 2 days of ours. They grabbed a room at ASMu and we were staying at our home resort, SSR. We met up in the MK the first night and again at EPCOT the next morning and did some touring together.
I was really happy because the 2 girls get along well and they had such a great time together. DH turned into Grumpy because he felt that as soon as her cousin came along, DD "dumped" her autistic little brother and just wanted to sit with my niece on every ride. Well, in my mind, she deserved a break. My DS' behavior is rough and it's hard when so much attention goes to him b/c of his disabilities. And, even if he was just a normal little brother, she would probably rather sit with her same-age-same-sex cousin, anyway. Duh!
Unfortunately, my sister opened her mouth and said as much to my DH. Now, I know him well enough to know when to keep my mouth shut because sometimes I don't think it's wise to throw gasoline on a fire! Later, when he was in a less grumpy mood, I would share my feelings about the whole thing and he would be more open to my view. (Timing is everything in marital discussions.)
But, coming from my sister! He was fuming for the rest of the day. I tried to downplay his rudeness, but it was quite obvious to my sister and her husband. We decided to go our seperate family ways and it kind of spoiled the last day for me. I always get a little depressed on our last day, anyway, and DH and I wound up having a spat and it was a real bummer.
Back to the present. Another sister is planning a trip during the exact week that we are for this November. Her kids are much younger (5, 3, and 1 yr.). Because we have the DVC, we invited them to stay with us at a DVC resort so they could have more room. They politely declined, and will be staying at CBR. We agreed to meet up for a character meal or fireworks or something, but my sister made it pretty clear that she did not want to tour with us.
While we were discussing this at a family party, another sister mentioned wanting to go to WDW soon (her first time). Again, the offer of staying with us at DVC was declined. Again, vague talk about "wanting our kids to experience WDW for the first time with just our own family", not as an extended family.
Well, you guessed it, DH is fit to be tied. He thinks that they don't want to stay with us or tour with us because of DS's autism/behaviors, and he is now feeling insulted and put out. He has declared that he does not want to have anything to do with my sisters, at WDW or anywhere else, for that matter.
I have tried to delicately explain to him that it is not our son's behavior that is the issue here, but he is being stubborn and unreasonable. (Is it any wonder that he gets a new Grumpy tee shirt every year?)
I feel bad because it would be a great experience for the kids to be able to share WDW with their cousins, aunts, and uncles. It just doesn't seem worth the aggravation to try to force the issue.
Oh well, perhaps dreams of a big extended family trip are a bit unrealistic, anyway. I'll just have to content myself with a big get-together at Chef Mickey's or an afternoon swim together at the resort pool. It will put me in a tough spot if DH decides not to join the rest of the family, but, somebody's got to be the grown-up around here and that looks like me.
Thanks for the vent.....
Kathy
We are a family of four; our youngest son (8yrs) is autistic and our daughter (10 yrs) is typical. We fell in love with WDW about four years ago and bought into the DVC so that we could afford an annual vacation in this truly special place. We have gone every year since then.
I have five sisters, four of whom live in the same state (N.J.). We are close. My DH is not too fond of my family; sometimes he perceives the closeness as "butting in" and he feels my sisters are too bossy toward their husbands and each other. I am the eldest. I see my sisters as strong-minded and very open and caring; I don't feel like they're bossing me around and what transpires between them and their husbands is their own business. Nevertheless, my traditional "the-man-is-the-head-of-the-house" husband can find them irksome at times. So, the relationships were not the best even before this latest issue arose.
Now, two of my sisters have also been to WDW a few times and are big fans as well. My one sister has one child, a girl, who is the same age as my DD. Last year, they decided to do a short last-minute trip to WDW and the first 2 days of their trip overlapped with the last 2 days of ours. They grabbed a room at ASMu and we were staying at our home resort, SSR. We met up in the MK the first night and again at EPCOT the next morning and did some touring together.
I was really happy because the 2 girls get along well and they had such a great time together. DH turned into Grumpy because he felt that as soon as her cousin came along, DD "dumped" her autistic little brother and just wanted to sit with my niece on every ride. Well, in my mind, she deserved a break. My DS' behavior is rough and it's hard when so much attention goes to him b/c of his disabilities. And, even if he was just a normal little brother, she would probably rather sit with her same-age-same-sex cousin, anyway. Duh!
Unfortunately, my sister opened her mouth and said as much to my DH. Now, I know him well enough to know when to keep my mouth shut because sometimes I don't think it's wise to throw gasoline on a fire! Later, when he was in a less grumpy mood, I would share my feelings about the whole thing and he would be more open to my view. (Timing is everything in marital discussions.)
But, coming from my sister! He was fuming for the rest of the day. I tried to downplay his rudeness, but it was quite obvious to my sister and her husband. We decided to go our seperate family ways and it kind of spoiled the last day for me. I always get a little depressed on our last day, anyway, and DH and I wound up having a spat and it was a real bummer.
Back to the present. Another sister is planning a trip during the exact week that we are for this November. Her kids are much younger (5, 3, and 1 yr.). Because we have the DVC, we invited them to stay with us at a DVC resort so they could have more room. They politely declined, and will be staying at CBR. We agreed to meet up for a character meal or fireworks or something, but my sister made it pretty clear that she did not want to tour with us.
While we were discussing this at a family party, another sister mentioned wanting to go to WDW soon (her first time). Again, the offer of staying with us at DVC was declined. Again, vague talk about "wanting our kids to experience WDW for the first time with just our own family", not as an extended family.
Well, you guessed it, DH is fit to be tied. He thinks that they don't want to stay with us or tour with us because of DS's autism/behaviors, and he is now feeling insulted and put out. He has declared that he does not want to have anything to do with my sisters, at WDW or anywhere else, for that matter.
I have tried to delicately explain to him that it is not our son's behavior that is the issue here, but he is being stubborn and unreasonable. (Is it any wonder that he gets a new Grumpy tee shirt every year?)
I feel bad because it would be a great experience for the kids to be able to share WDW with their cousins, aunts, and uncles. It just doesn't seem worth the aggravation to try to force the issue.
Oh well, perhaps dreams of a big extended family trip are a bit unrealistic, anyway. I'll just have to content myself with a big get-together at Chef Mickey's or an afternoon swim together at the resort pool. It will put me in a tough spot if DH decides not to join the rest of the family, but, somebody's got to be the grown-up around here and that looks like me.
Thanks for the vent.....
Kathy