My daughter is moving out and starting her own life. The lease has been signed and move in is scheduled for this coming weekend.
That past weekend we were helping her set up her classroom as she starts her career as a teacher. While there we met a friend of hers from college and her parents who were doing the same for their daughter.
We ended up having a conversation with the parents.
The father mentioned that his daughter has asked if she could be placed on gradual release, her way of asking if she could continue to receive monetary help.
I thought it was a great term for how parents continue to help their adult children.
My daughter is moving in with 3 roommates. Splitting the cost of a rental home with 3 others should make her transition from college student to young adult smoother from a financial perspective.
At today's prices and starting teacher salaries I don't think she could afford to rent even a one bedroom apartment by herself, certainly not the $2450 plus utilities that the 3 bedroom house is costing.
I am keeping her on my health insurance as it does not cost me anything for her to remain but would cost her about $150 a month. The same applies to dental insurance, she will remain on mine since there is no cost associated(I would get no savings if I dropped her as a dependent).
The same goes for her cell phone. It only costs $20 a month for her to remain on my plan but would cost $80 or more a month.
I am sure there other items that will come up as well.
How much help did you continue to provide your adult children and for how long?
How sudden or gradual was the release?
my oldest moved out 2nd year of college, is now 4 years after graduating-not making allot but there was no 'gradual release' b/c we were not subsidizing the choice to live independently vs. room/board free at home (we live close to the college so it was not a commute issue-strictly personal choice for more independence which we were fully forthcoming 'comes at a cost'). oldest pays for everything albeit a few items at a discount by virtue of us-lower car insurance by being on our policy, lower rent insurance by it being a multi policy discount associated with us, lower cell phone b/c of family plan.
in a pinch we are available to help with a loan (yes we expect to and are repaid) and lately since i can watch sales more easily and have more storage i will offer to do a big stock up of foods at reduced prices that can then be purchased from 'mom's pantry' at the inflation proof lower prices (as in dozens and dozen of bottles of juice, chai tea latte, canned and dried goods, even frozen meat which we break down and freeze into singleton size packages).
not sure how much a newbie teacher makes in your neck of the woods but a quick google search shows the lowest in the u.s. make in the neighborhood of what my kiddo does. that said-the rent/utility cost you've posted above would be a steal for mine b/c the going rate here would be about $225 more PER PERSON.
this all said-no, at present oldest is not able to do 401k or any retirement savings (but neither could dh nor i at that age), does not have a new car (has one of our older ones that serves the purpose), but does NOT live what i would consider an underprivileged lifestyle (if you can afford the latest video games, to go to an occasional movie/comedy show/concert, get not so cheap to go food a few times a month and not have any credit card debt i consider it a huge WIN!).
i bolded your above comment-i have to say, if this is through an employer you/your dd are VERY fortunate. mine required us to sign a binding legal statement that attested our "dependents" were age 24 or lower, enrolled full time in college AND-i had to list them as a dependent on my tax return. if they did an audit (had happened on occasion) they could come back at us to reimburse not only the med/dental plan for all the costs but the employer's administrative costs as well (also a disciplinary action for 'filing fraudulent documents').
The reality is that when you're starting out that your lifestyle is sometimes lower than the lifestyle you leave when living with your parents. Sometimes it's better. It really depends on where you start out.
i'm 61 and i remember MY parents talking with their friends about this concerning their adult 'kids' as far back as the 60's (i had much older parents and siblings). they would lament that 'kid's today think they are going to start out with the same home/possessions/lifestyle it's taken their parents their entire lifetimes to acquire'. i guess some things haven't changed that much.
Well, our 2 kids are autistic and we are pretty sure one will continue to live with us forever. The other wants to eventually have his own place, but he means his OWN place (no roommates). At this point, we don't even know if he can hold down a job. At 18, he still lacks the social skills to pass through the hiring phase of even a part time job. So, we will be supporting them financially for a long time, although we are hopeful that they will qualify for SSI and also work a bit to help offset those costs associated with continual support.
oh dlgal, i hear you. my youngest (25) is on the spectrum. right now we are dealing with massive anxiety attacks of monumental proportions b/c we FINALLY got to the point with the department of vocational rehabilitation where he was assigned a job counselor and had an actual orientation appointment set up for a job (volunteer) evaluation placement. the kid has aspired/dreamed of this for YEARS but the reality is he's (unknowingly) terrified of being in a work setting. it's something dh and i have suspected but left unsaid to he for years (always trying to gently encourage growth). it's not realistic but i don't know that he will ever entirely accept it. living on his own is a goal as well, but i suspect it will always be with us until we can find the right supported living. it's a tough road, no one's experience on it is the same but we can wave at each other and offer a smile and nod of understanding on the journey. take care
p.s. ssi can get approved for it-it takes time and LOTS of documentation and patience but it can happen.
or at least an accomplishment. Same goes for house, etc. Heck health insurance is also one lol.
