Lisa's Journal (Life on the "Beach" - Part 2 all the way to goal!)

[septbride2002]

Miss you.

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

I heard a rumor that you're in Onederland these days - many warm congratulations!!!

I hope all is well and life is treating you like a !

 

[AuroraluvsPhillip]

Hi Lisa,
Just dropping by to say It looks from your siggie that you will soon be sporting a new clippie.... Keep up the great work...slow and steady to the finish!

 

[Tera]

Lisa -

Just stopping by to say Hello and what a great job your doing. Took me a few days to get through your journal, but I finally did it Keep up the great work and I'm sure you'll be in that land of Onerland soon

 

[ZerasPride]

Okay, guys, I'm back in the journaling saddle again!!!!

If anyone is interested. I have missed journaling and missed all my regular journal posting buddies so much. I know it was the right thing for me to stop posting for a while. I was feeling so overwhelmed for a bit but I'm feeling much better now!

I had decided that I was going back to journaling right after I got rid of my "fat" clothes and finally after one year and two weeks I felt ready so today I bagged up most of the clothes. I picked this time to start journaling again because I knew I'd have all these jumbled up emotions that I would need to get out and where else better to unburden myself than here?

I packed up all my size 26 clothes, except one pair of jeans. I remember when those jeans were getting tight on my tummy. I put them on for old times sake and stood in the mirror in disbelief! I think 2 of me could have fit in those pants. I also looked lovingly at my size 10 stretch jeans in my closet and smiled. I moved on to other clothes, beautiful dresses, silk type pajamas, lovely bulky winter sweaters, long wool skirts and suits. They will go to a woman that can use them, I can't anymore. Do I have fears of gaining all this weight back. Honestly, no. I feel so confident now. Not overly confident, but ready to face whatever the future will bring me and no longer feeling like Linus needing his blanket. I decided that that is what my old clothes represented. A security blanket and I'm ready to fly solo without them.

I do admit it was hard to pack of my things because they are MY things. I never thought I'd have such a strong emotional attachment to clothes. Especially clothes that no way and no how fit me anymore. I can wear sizes 14, 12 and even my one pair of size 10 jeans, it just depends on the manufacturer. I don't need sizes 16-26 anymore. No more XXXL shirts, I've got shirts in Medium and Small that fit me now. It was so nice to get up in the morning see an orderly closet with so many tiny clothes in them. I almost didn't recongize my own closet!!!!

Okay, enough about that. I just wanted to get out some feelings about my clothes and how much I will miss (but not miss) them. Today I am ready to move forward!

So much has happened to me in the past 3 months or so since I've posted last. I have entered onderland and am at my lowest adult weight of 190.5 pounds. I have lost 6 or 7 pants sizes and over 100 inches off my body. Despite all the changes that have gone on in my life, I'm still cheat free so that's a big accomplishment everything considered.

I also still work out with the Firm everyday but I have added some variety by using the new BSS3 system. These work outs kick your booty but you feel so good not only after you do them but while you are doing them. I just can't get enough!!! This morning I did Total Muscle Shaping and it was awesome!

Back to basics, I guess, so here's my menu for today:
B: 2 slices of whole wheat toast, 3 strips of bacon and 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of cheese and 1/2 cup of 1% milk
S: no snacks
L: Campbell's low carb chicken cheese and broccoli soup with 10 whole wheat crackers
D: homemade shrimp fried rice with 1/2 cup of n/s/a peanut butter cup ice cream for dessert

Exercise: I already mentioned that I did Firm Total Muscle Shaping for my work out. I'm working on making my 1000 minutes of exercise for December. I made my challenge goals in August and September. I got close in October (about 900 minutes) and made my minutes in November even with a Hilton Head vacation. I worked out everyday we were at DVC HH and even worked out twice one of the days with a Firm work out and some time in the exercise room. Okay, I know I'm a work out fanatic!

I will try to make the rounds to see how everyone is doing over the next couple of days. I realize how much I need journaling in my life to get to goal. I still have about 40 pounds to go and my weight loss has slowed down to the point that I know it will take me at least another 6-10 months to get there. I'm alright with it. I just know I need all the support I can get and this has been one of my main sources of encouragement. So, I am back!!!!

I wanted to post some pics for those that don't get to the main posting room too often. The first is a pic of me when I started last December at about 280 pounds and the second is of me at DVC HH about 2 weeks ago at 92 pounds lost. The last one was taken about a week later.

 

[wtpclc]

Holy cow Lisa! You look amazing! Way to go! Good job in gettign the old things finally put away. You will NOT need them again. I'm so glad that you've finally found the confidence to do it!!!!! You are an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing your journey!

 

[septbride2002]

Look at you! You look beautiful! I'm so glad you are back to posting around here we have missed you! As always your exercise amazes me and your menus look scrumptious! I was thinking of you today as I made a pot of shrimp alfredo so that I can have that for lunch this week. I love the recipe!

~Amanda

 

[Tera]

Hi Lisa...

You look AMAZING! That is so awesome that your able to get rid of those clothes and your determined never to get into them again. I hope I can post pictures like that some day

 

[Minniespal]

Lisa ~ You look fantastic. Thanx for posting your piccies. When I feel bravier I will post some of myself. I really have missed reading your journals.

 

[Strings]

Hi Lisa,

Welcome back to the journals. You look fantastic! You have done such a great job, and I know that you will reach that goal.
Have a great Monday,
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

Oh! My! Gosh!!!!!

Lisa, you look AMAZING!! What a difference a year can make! You should be so proud of you, the changes you've made in your daily healthy living and all the accomplishments of the past year! You remain an inspiration to me and I'm so glad you've decided to start journaling again! I missed you!

Onward and downward!

 

[ZerasPride]

Today is day 2 of my return to journal posting and it feels so good! Thanks to each of my WISH journal buddies for welcoming me back. It means so much to me have a safe place like this to come and write down how I feel.

I have to post about some of the comments I've been getting lately. Several people have told me that they are concerned that I'm getting too skinny. That is just the funniest thing I have ever heard. I'm 190 pounds and hardly in danger of "passing out from starving" myself as one well meaning friend said. Another friend that is way way slimmer than me and joined WW to lose her last 10 vanity pounds expressed how concerned she was and that she felt I looked good enough to stop losing now. I know these people mean well but I have so far to go I don't want to get distracted by their well meaning comments.

Sometimes when I think about losing another 40 pounds, it makes me sad. Sometimes it makes me extremely happy. I'm sad sometimes because I feel like I should be done after a year. I wonder if I will be perpetually on a diet for the rest of my life. I feel happy sometimes because losing weight is what I am good at. I have no idea how I will manage to maintain the loss. Will I need to exercise less? Perish that thought! Eat more carby foods? I have no idea. I think that is one failing of South Beach that Atkins address so much better. How to maintain. South Beach calls the maintenance phase - Phase 3 but you don't get any instruction how to eat to maintain the weight you have struggled so hard to take off! I'm sure I'll figure out the formula but in so many ways it seems easier to lose the weight than it is going to be to maintain it.

It's four days until the black tie wedding reception! I'm so excited. I was able to go on the country club's website and see the menu. I'm glad there will be a fish, chicken and beef selection and 3 salads. I won't eat the starch or bread but I'm getting a slice of Ruby Tuesday's low carb hot chocolate lava cake earlier in the day for my dessert, which I will eat when we get back home for the night. This way I won't be tempted by the wedding cake. That lc chocolate cake is awesome for any of you that like such things. It's so rich even a chocoholic like me can't finish a piece in one sitting. Yummy!

Today's menu:
B: 1/2 bowl of ww cereal, 2 small sausage patties and 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of lf cheese
S: 7 seeded grapes
L: tuna salad and 8 ww crackers
S: 7 seeded grapes
D: beef stroganoff over 1/2 cup of long grain converted rice with 1/2 cup of n/s/a peanut butter cup ice cream for dessert

Exercise: I did Firm Super Body Sculpt (lower body and abs) this morning for my work out.

Carrie - thanks so much for your continued support and encouragement!

Amanda - it's so good to be back! Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying the shrimp alfredo. I'm going to be making some on Sunday. I don't know if you like shrimp fried rice but I've got a killer recipe if you're interested. I had leftovers for lunch yesterday and it was even better than it was for dinner the night before.

Tera - it's been a struggle mentally to take down my big lady clothes and pack them up. I'm glad I did it though. I know you'll be posting awesome before and after pictures. The time will go by so fast and before you know it, you'll be close to or at goal!! I know you can do it!!!

Minniespal - thanks for letting me know you missed my journal entries. Sometimes you can feel like it's not worth posting your silly feelings but I always feel so good when I do. It's like laying on a therapist's couch, without the couch, therapist or hefty fee! I hope you feel brave enough to post pictures soon. I was really leary about it for the longest time but I'm glad I finally did it.

Beth - thanks for the warm welcome back. I feel like you gals are my sisters and this is a homecoming for me! We will all reach our goals because we have something most people don't - we have each other!!!

Doe - Hi sunshine! I have missed each of you so much too. I am very glad to be back among the fold again. Thanks for the compliments. You each are an inspiration to me and I know I'll be able to finally get to goal with all the fantastic support I get here!

 

[Strings]

Hi Lisa,

I'm getting the same comments you are. Weight loss is a personal thing. People notice the dramatic change you have made. They mean well. They also have no idea what you actually weigh.

You will figure out maintainance when you get there. Focus on the current fight, and the rest will come with time.

Have a good one,
Beth

 

[LAinSEA]

What an amazing, stunningly beautiful woman you are! YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT!

I totally understand about letting go of old clothes - old comfortable friends. Before I started journaling last year, I threw out all my "skinny" clothes. Even though I desparately wanted to fit in them again - it had been a decade since I actually had. Somehow, letting go of the old clothes and purging the closet of ghosts let me begin new on working on myself.

In order to be successful at anything, I am finally learning, is to see yourself as a success. Don't let any ghost of what you used to be keep you from being who you really want to be. When I think of that advice, I will think about you. You embody it.

-Laurie

 

[Minniespal]

Hiya Lisa ~

I totally understand what you mean about being good at losing weight and your concerns about being able to maintain it once you get to goal.

It made me think about my own situation and I have come to the conclusion that I am always going to struggle with my weight. There obviously is something that makes me want to over eat. I have learnt portion control, healthy eating and that I actually enjoy exercise and hopefully when I get to goal these will things that I will carry with me into the future.

I really do wish you well and you have made me think seriously about journaling.

 

[septbride2002]

Amanda - it's so good to be back! Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying the shrimp alfredo. I'm going to be making some on Sunday. I don't know if you like shrimp fried rice but I've got a killer recipe if you're interested. I had leftovers for lunch yesterday and it was even better than it was for dinner the night before.

PLEASE SHARE!!!!

 

[ZerasPride]

It's been a couple of days but I couldn't let one more go by without making a journal entry. I've been thinking about doing so the past couple of days but got busy with other things. I want to make sure I find a way to keep this a priority.

I have a bit preoccupied with the wedding reception on Saturday night. I've been eating away my anxiety instead of dealing with it and that's not good. The good part is that I realize it for what it is. Fear. Fear of looking foolish or like I'm trying too hard to appear "normal". I keep telling myself that I do blend in now. I don't stand out as the "fatest person in the room". That used to be my claim to fame. You could count on me being the biggest person at a party or meeting. It's so strange sometimes now to look around and realize I'm often NOT the biggest person. I blend right in with just about everyone else. I am so used to sticking out of a crowd because of my size, it's almost like I've lost my identity.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a whiny post. It's an honest reflection of what's inside my head right now. I feel like I am mentally purging myself of all these negative thoughts so I don't have to eat because of them. I have apprehension about attending this party. I know people will expect things of me that they didn't before. It just dawned on me that DH and I don't know how to dance. We've never had to before. At this party, we might be expected to get on the floor and shake our groove thang and I don't really know how! It will be comical, I'm sure. But I am determined to have a good time. I deserve it! I hope that doesn't sound like bragging. But I have worked very hard to shed these extra pounds and my husband spent a lot of money on my gown so I deserve to hold my head up high and have a good time without being self-conscious.

Menu for today:
B: 4 slices of bacon, 2 slices of ww toast with sugar free strawberry preserve spread and 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of low fat cheese
S: 7 seeded grapes
L: Progresso carb monitor chicken cheese enchilada soup and 10 ww crackers
S: 8 seeded grapes
D: philly cheesesteak with mushrooms, onions and provolone cheese on ww bread with a diet soda and 1/2 cup of n/s/a ice cream for dessert

I will make this one additional comment about my food choices. Looking back through my journal I see I was eating much different. Not so many grains, more salads and a lot more veggies so I'm going to go back to that way of eating over the next couple of days. The closer I get to goal, I think the cleaner my eating habits need to be to get the scale moving more than just once per month!

Exercise: I did Firm Fat Blasting Cardio for my work out this morning.

Beth - thanks for your sage words of advice. I agree with you that focusing on where I need to get to should be my primary goal. I do believe maintenance will take of itself.

Laurie - thank you for the kind compliments! I am really relating to what you said about getting rid of those old ghosts. I did feel stuck, like I couldn't truly move forward until I at least took those old clothes out of my closet. Now when I open my closet door and see the smaller clothes there, I feel at peace.

Florence - I wonder if I will always be struggling with my weight. I've always been heavy so I don't have a previous situation to look back on. I suppose since I too have food addictions, I will probably always have to be careful. I have missed journaling so much. I didn't realize how much until I came back here and started writing down my feelings again. It's very theraputic!

Amanda - here is the recipe! I hope you like it. The two things I do different are to use long grain converted rice and I cook up 1 pound of shrimp. We like a lot of shrimp in our fried rice. I sautee the shrimp in a little I can't believe it's not butter and garlic powder. It turns out yummy!

Shrimp Fried Rice
Ingredients:
1/4 lb cooked Shrimp; chopped
2 Eggs
2 Tbsp Vegetable Oil
3 Green Onions and tops, chopped
3 cups cold cooked Rice
3 Tbsp Soy Sauce


Directions:
Blend eggs with 2 Tbsp water; set aside. Heat oil in wok or large skillet over medium heat. Add green onions; stir-fry 30 seconds. Add eggs; cook, stirring gently, until firm. Stir in rice and cook until heated, gently separating grains. Add shrimp and soy sauce; cook, stirring, until mixture is well blended and heated through. Makes 4 to 6 servings.

 

[wilderness01]

Wow you are going to have a great time at that wedding. Hold your head up high as you get on the floor and shake your groove thang! That is too cute and I had to copy and paste that into this message.

Have yourself a few and have a wonderful time with your !

 

[Minniespal]

Lisa ~ I just know that you are going to have a fantastic time at the wedding.

I am so glad that you are back journaling and sharing your thoughts with us. It helps me make sense of some of the jumbled thoughts and feelings that I have been having recently.

 

[toystoryduo]

Wow, Lisa!!!! You look fabulous!!!! All of your hard work has paid off! I am so proud of you for all that you have accomplished. Keep up the good work and you will definitely make goal!!!

Have a great weekend!

Tracy

P.S. We were in Florida during the first snowstorm of the season here in Cleveland. It looks like we are in for round # 2 today and tomorrow. My girls are thrilled though... "Mom, we can make the biggest snowman on the block!!!"

P.S.S. Have a great time at the wedding!!!