Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[Sabeking]

Awww, I thought on the other thread things had taken a turn for the better for your DD, but I guess that wasn't permanent I hope she finds her people soon. DD hasn't made it to any official activities but hopefully this week. She intended to go to Zumba with one roommate but had the time wrong and she missed it. Hoping she gets to some of the Campus Fellowship stuff too. She and her roommates did go to a pancake party at the apartment across the hall, and have joined/watched some casual sand volleyball games.

This weekend she applied online for a job at Target. She wanted "Hardline" shelf stocking, but the closest opening was apparel. We'll see if she gets an interview.

I thought it had gotten better too. I think she has kind of put on a brave face when I talk to her but being home this weekend allowed her to relax and tell me how she really feels. I think she is generally ok. Her roommates are super nice but they are rushing sororities and that is just not my dd's thing. I feel confident that she will get there. Part of this is on her. She has to take a chance and get the courage to initiate something. So, I challenged her before she left yeasterday to do one thing this week that would take her getting out of her comfort zone. I just got off the phone with her and she told me that she went to a meeting about a club in her major and really enjoyed it. So we will see....

 

[mamacatnv]

Kids may have spent their whole lives with other kids they know or significant pieces of time. Sure, their social groups probably shifted but overall they have always had familiar faces.

College is generally all new people and they have to be patient, put themselves in situations to meet people and work at developing relationships.
We moved 2000 miles at the end of DD's 7th grade year. We had to really work to expose her to new friend groups.
College kids are in the same boat. Homesick, new surroundings, nothing familiar, strange food and surrounded by strangers. They have to make an effort to put themselves out there, to meet others and to work thru the homesickness and loneliness. Patience and time will work in their favor.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Kids may have spent their whole lives with other kids they know or significant pieces of time. Sure, their social groups probably shifted but overall they have always had familiar faces.

College is generally all new people and they have to be patient, put themselves in situations to meet people and work at developing relationships.
We moved 2000 miles at the end of DD's 7th grade year. We had to really work to expose her to new friend groups.
College kids are in the same boat. Homesick, new surroundings, nothing familiar, strange food and surrounded by strangers. They have to make an effort to put themselves out there, to meet others and to work thru the homesickness and loneliness. Patience and time will work in their favor.

My DD is quiet but she is putting herself out there trying to be more social. The one thing that she's having trouble with is a lot of kids drink. The kids hangout playing card games or games and they invite her to hangout. She wants to but the one thing stopping her is there alcohol. I asked her if she feels pressure and she said no but she;s not trying to get kicked out of college. I'm like but your not drinking. She says theres no drinking in the dorms so just by hanging out and there being drinks she can get into trouble. RA's are suppose to do random checks but they don't. I'm proud of her but it does suck. I told her well just hangout when they are in public. She has made friends and some are on her social media. She just needs to find the right group that likes to have clean fun and that like to chill without illegal stuff. For being an introvert she;s doing better than I thought. Her RA is kinda quiet too so they have talked a few times and she's mentioned she's thrown out some activity ideas because her floor mates haven't connected or even hangout in the livingroom. They will have a movie night , dinner night and one other thing.

 

[aprilgail]

My daughter really likes her room mate as a person and a friend but she is SO not into sharing her space with anyone- she really loves her privacy and this whole room mate thing is not really sitting well with her. Tomorrow she is going to check and see if there are any singles available that she could switch into. I feel her though, I hate sharing my personal space with anyone- when we go to visit people even though they ask us to stay we never do, would rather stay in my own space in a hotel room so I get where she is coming from.
Classes start tomorrow so and its her long day so she will be out of the room most of the day. Her room mate at least is quiet- I was talking to another mom whose daughter goes to the same school and her daughter is having such trouble with hers, the room mate has kids over until midnight and the other kid wants to sleep and then the room mate hung like curtains around her bed and told the other that her boyfriend was coming to spend the week and they needed some privacy so she hung curtains- I would be so not amused with some boy moving into my room for a week!

 

[dreamin_disney]

My daughter really likes her room mate as a person and a friend but she is SO not into sharing her space with anyone- she really loves her privacy and this whole room mate thing is not really sitting well with her. Tomorrow she is going to check and see if there are any singles available that she could switch into. I feel her though, I hate sharing my personal space with anyone- when we go to visit people even though they ask us to stay we never do, would rather stay in my own space in a hotel room so I get where she is coming from.
Classes start tomorrow so and its her long day so she will be out of the room most of the day. Her room mate at least is quiet- I was talking to another mom whose daughter goes to the same school and her daughter is having such trouble with hers, the room mate has kids over until midnight and the other kid wants to sleep and then the room mate hung like curtains around her bed and told the other that her boyfriend was coming to spend the week and they needed some privacy so she hung curtains- I would be so not amused with some boy moving into my room for a week!

I would be so pissed!!! If she wants to spend the weekend with her boyfriend they should get a hotel. I don't think its fair to the other room mates. Are the opposite sex even allowed to stay the night? And for an entire week-heck no! You should go stay with your daughter for a whole week and I bet her roommate wont like it-lol! Hangin a curtain wont dorwn out the noises :/ DDs floor had a list of rules...no loud sex, no hooking up in the main living room and don't be a-holes and a few others like be respectful etc. Thank God my dd got a good roommate who isn't into hooking up or having people over. She is like dd likes her privacy and like their own space so they get along and do hangout but both aren't use to having grown up sharing a room with a sibling. DD is an only child and roommate is the only girl-lol! I hope things get better for your dd

 

[aprilgail]

I would be so pissed!!! If she wants to spend the weekend with her boyfriend they should get a hotel. I don't think its fair to the other room mates. Are the opposite sex even allowed to stay the night? And for an entire week-heck no! You should go stay with your daughter for a whole week and I bet her roommate wont like it-lol! Hangin a curtain wont dorwn out the noises :/ DDs floor had a list of rules...no loud sex, no hooking up in the main living room and don't be a-holes and a few others like be respectful etc. Thank God my dd got a good roommate who isn't into hooking up or having people over. She is like dd likes her privacy and like their own space so they get along and do hangout but both aren't use to having grown up sharing a room with a sibling. DD is an only child and roommate is the only girl-lol! I hope things get better for your dd

My daughters room mate is good- its a lady I know whose daughter goes there also has the crappy room mate- you can have guests over for 3 days- 7 days is not allowed so she has to go to the RA and get them to talk to the room mate- she is putting in for a change of room mates! When my god daughter went to school she had a room mate who would have her boyfriend there and she said she would wake up and have to put a pillow over her head to dull the "noise". I am not an exceptionally modest person but I would never ever have had sex with my boyfriend with my room mate 3 feet away!!

 

[disneyeveryyear]

Enjoy reading these threads! Anyway, DS24 went to college in NJ (we live in NJ) and he needed the TB test to live in a dorm. Is that not standard in every state? Just curious.

We live in Illinois, but DD goes to school in MO. She had to have a TB test, but was clear, so she is good to go.

 

[robinb]

Enjoy reading these threads! Anyway, DS24 went to college in NJ (we live in NJ) and he needed the TB test to live in a dorm. Is that not standard in every state? Just curious.

No TB needed for my DD's dorm.

Today is her first day! She sent a "first day of school" selfie and she was wearing her "Love you to the moon and back" t-shirt I bought her .

 

[disneyeveryyear]

DD's roommate quit school last Monday for both financial and personal reasons. So, for now, DD has a single. I did run to Target and I got sheets and a comforter for the other bed for $16.50 total.

DD is hoping they don't move anyone in at the semester.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Wow. I can't believe some of the stories. DD's campus is completely dry (private school), but she told me the athletes go to another university to party. Guests of the same sex are allowed for 3 days in the dorm, but that's it.

 

[robinb]

Wow. I can't believe some of the stories. DD's campus is completely dry (private school), but she told me the athletes go to another university to party. Guests of the same sex are allowed for 3 days in the dorm, but that's it.

What school does she go to again?

My DD was disappointed that the University of Wisconsin dropped from the #1 ranked party school in Princeton Review all the way to #5 .

 

[lovesmurfs]

What school does she go to again?

My DD was disappointed that the University of Wisconsin dropped from the #1 ranked party school in Princeton Review all the way to #5 .

Anderson University in Anderson, IN - she's a music education major. It's a Church of God school. Athletes are apparently traveling to Ball State to "party."

 

[robinb]

Anderson University in Anderson, IN - she's a music education major. It's a Church of God school. Athletes are apparently traveling to Ball State to "party."

Well, that makes sense. I hope that the athlete's designate a driver when they go to the thriving metropolis is Muncie to party.

 

[Sabeking]

My DD is quiet but she is putting herself out there trying to be more social. The one thing that she's having trouble with is a lot of kids drink. The kids hangout playing card games or games and they invite her to hangout. She wants to but the one thing stopping her is there alcohol. I asked her if she feels pressure and she said no but she;s not trying to get kicked out of college. I'm like but your not drinking. She says theres no drinking in the dorms so just by hanging out and there being drinks she can get into trouble. RA's are suppose to do random checks but they don't. I'm proud of her but it does suck. I told her well just hangout when they are in public. She has made friends and some are on her social media. She just needs to find the right group that likes to have clean fun and that like to chill without illegal stuff. For being an introvert she;s doing better than I thought. Her RA is kinda quiet too so they have talked a few times and she's mentioned she's thrown out some activity ideas because her floor mates haven't connected or even hangout in the livingroom. They will have a movie night , dinner night and one other thing.

My DD is going through the same thing. She isn't into partying. She did say that she and her suite mates came up with rules together about no alcohol in the suite but what you do outside is your business. My dd goes to a small private school that is fairly tame but I was pretty surprised when she told me all she had to do to get high was walk down the hallway and you could smell the fumes!! Great! She joined a club in her major and will go to a meeting this week with a faith life group. Hoping she will find some friends! I hope the same for your daughter!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My DS has been in his dorm for three weeks. He's had 2 1/2 weeks of classes. He loves everything about it! His roommate is awesome. He's made lots of friends on his floor and in his major. His classes are all amazing. I'm so proud and so happy that he's doing so well! But....he's coming home tomorrow. A mean lady named Irma is forcing him out of his new home. Yep! He's a University of Miami student. We had this great hurricane safety talk three weeks ago at parent orientation. They said they haven't fully evacuated the campus since Hurricane Andrew in 1992, so we shouldn't worry too much. They usually shelter in place and keep the kids safe right on campus. Little did we know we would be rushing to book flights to get him out of there so soon! We live in California, so this is the first time we've actually had to take action for any hurricane. I won't feel completely comfortable until he's on his flight tomorrow and on his way out of Florida.

 

[maxaroni]

No TB needed for my DD's dorm.

Today is her first day! She sent a "first day of school" selfie and she was wearing her "Love you to the moon and back" t-shirt I bought her .

Interesting how different things are for everyone.

Awww so sweet. It is a huge adjustment for the students moving away, but sometimes it's harder on the parents

 

[debster812]

To all of you with kids struggling to navigate the 'party scene' if I may offer up a bit of advice? DS is a 20 year old, college junior and NCAA D3 athlete. He does not drink. At all. This goes back to his core group of friends in HS, and it was just never a 'thing' with them, so they just did not do it.

His freshman year he was at a pretty decent party school, didn't have the confidence he has now, and was pretty isolated because he was not drinking/partying, but he also was not even going to the parties.

Fast forward a year, he's transferred schools, earned a place on the soccer team, and still does not drink. He has figured out that watching drunk people can be hilariously funny, and has figured out his comfort zone. He'll go to the team parties off campus with his friends, and when things get too out of hand for him, he ubers back to his dorm.

Fast forward to this year, and he is the 'official bouncer' for team parties at off campus houses (all 5' 9", 170 lbs of him). He's got a deep voice, and a serious face, so people actually pay attention to him.

He still does not drink, and does not like the wild party scene, but he is learning his comfort zone, and what he is and is not comfortable with.

Just tell your kids to follow their instincts, be smart, and they will get through this as well.

 

[mamacatnv]

What school does she go to again?

My DD was disappointed that the University of Wisconsin dropped from the #1 ranked party school in Princeton Review all the way to #5 .

Funny how we look at priorities differently than our kids do! MY BFF went to Chico State "THE" N. California party school, her mother transferred her after two years when she nearly flunked out.
My Grandmother went to Brown back in the 1930's when it was all girls and almost flunked out due to the party atmosphere, she got it together and went on to become a lifelong teacher and upstanding citizen but the stories my Grandmother told me of her years at Brown

My DS has been in his dorm for three weeks. He's had 2 1/2 weeks of classes. He loves everything about it! His roommate is awesome. He's made lots of friends on his floor and in his major. His classes are all amazing. I'm so proud and so happy that he's doing so well! But....he's coming home tomorrow. A mean lady named Irma is forcing him out of his new home. Yep! He's a University of Miami student. We had this great hurricane safety talk three weeks ago at parent orientation. They said they haven't fully evacuated the campus since Hurricane Andrew in 1992, so we shouldn't worry too much. They usually shelter in place and keep the kids safe right on campus. Little did we know we would be rushing to book flights to get him out of there so soon! We live in California, so this is the first time we've actually had to take action for any hurricane. I won't feel completely comfortable until he's on his flight tomorrow and on his way out of Florida.

Oh man, scary! Glad you were able to secure a flight and get him out.
We got my MIL on a flight today out of Sarasota today - she is not in south Florida but since my FIL passed away a few months ago, none of us were comfortable with her being in Florida alone and evacuated her to family in New Hampshire

 

[Poohforyou]

I'm sorry to those having roommate issues. I had a cruddy freshman roommate so I sympathize.

My daughter has a nice roommate. She was really worried, being an only child. She actually doesn't see her roommate that much which may lend to their good relationship.

She's getting involved in a few clubs and likes her classes. I was worried about her making friends, she's kind of quiet and a little quirky. Being at a big school is a good thing for her since it has such a diverse population. She's found other quiet kind of quirky people just like her.

 

[yeahdisney]

DD traveled on Amtrak home and back this last weekend. No bus from the train on Monday when she returned so she took her first cab ride. She took back a large suitcase with her and her bowling ball.
Yesterday she called she tried out for the bowling team but decided not to do the league - it meets for 3 hours on Wednesday and she states she is not willing to give up those hours from schoolwork.
She has to go to a career fair next week so she needs a dress jacket, she can rent one there, I said go rent it. Then go buy one when she has time. She also had someone in from study abroad and she learned she can go for a week at a time - that she is interested in - I couldn't get her interested in going for the summer. She did not like her merit class TA for calculus, she looked online and found a different class time and different TA and is switching to it.
She states she is fine with her room mates - there is four of them with their own rooms each. 2 of Her roommates went to a party - they said it was blah - no one talked they all just stood around and they were all on their phones!