Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[SmallWorld71]

DD texted us at 5:15 AM this morning that she really missed us. I immediately asked if everything was ok. She said yes, she was just awake and thinking about us. I texted her later today to ask why she was up at 5:15 because today is a HUGE football game day at her school, and I know she wants to go. Was she just coming in? Had she just woken up? She told me she has been having trouble sleeping since she got there. Her bed is comfy enough, and the dorm settles down at night. But for some reason she can't sleep, and the lack of sleep is giving her headaches. I wonder if this is from anxiety? She has never had issue with anxiety before though. I'm at a loss about how to counsel her.

I know she LOVES her school, has met so many people and socially everything is going really well. I also know that she is worried about the academics. She was an A/B student in high school, and she feels like her school is filled with lots of really smart people. She worries about keeping up. During one lecture, the prof was talking so fast; then everyone started typing up notes, and DD missed what the teacher said. She had a mini breakdown in that class, but was able to pull herself together.

DD has been on ADD meds since 7th grade. She never needed any accommodations in middle school or high school, but the folks at her university told us during orientation that that could change in college. I got all her ADD paperwork from her pediatrician, sent it off to the Student Disabilities Dept at her school and will have DD make an appointment. Maybe that will help her with the anxiety.

DD 14 had been having a terrible time with sleeping and was getting terrible migraines as well. At her annual check up last month, her pediatrician suggested she try melatonin. It has helped her so much. It may be worth a try.

I am convinced that if I were in school now, I would be diagnosed with ADD. But, they didn't do that back then. I used to miss great chunks of what was said in class. Luckily, I had lots of kind friends who let me use their notes. Perhaps your daughter will be able to get copies of the notes from her classes. I know a friend of DS who does this. At his school, there are other students who, for their on campus job, sit in classes just to take notes. These notes are then emailed to the students with disabilities who have that accommodation. His friend is 'twice special' as it is sometimes called. He is gifted and has a learning disability.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

DD 14 had been having a terrible time with sleeping and was getting terrible migraines as well. At her annual check up last month, her pediatrician suggested she try melatonin. It has helped her so much. It may be worth a try.

I am convinced that if I were in school now, I would be diagnosed with ADD. But, they didn't do that back then. I used to miss great chunks of what was said in class. Luckily, I had lots of kind friends who let me use their notes. Perhaps your daughter will be able to get copies of the notes from her classes. I know a friend of DS who does this. At his school, there are other students who, for their on campus job, sit in classes just to take notes. These notes are then emailed to the students with disabilities who have that accommodation. His friend is 'twice special' as it is sometimes called. He is gifted and has a learning disability.

Melatonin is a great idea. I'm going to send her some on Monday! I'm hoping the Student Disabilities Department can help her with accommodation ideas (like note taking help or recording her lectures). I just need her to make the appointment before too much time goes by.

 

[yeahdisney]

DD had a horrible night. The good part was she made the bowling team. So she had to work the concession stand at the U of I football game tonight. Bad part: So a women ripped her apart for being out of pretzels, DD told her it would be a 5 to 10 minute wait would she like to wait? She screams at her and said I just waited 30 minutes in this line are you kidding me, more stuff then asked for the manager well it's volunteers there no manager so she tell the other worker girl - she is the rudest girl I ever met and more. She takes a water and DD tells her enjoy the game. Off she went. the next person was the customer friend and she reads DD name tag and proceeds to give her more grief, telling her the girl won't enjoy the game cause she doesn't have a pretzel and then is mean to her. The next lady is a mom with kids and she told her. Honey don't pay attention to them, your doing fine and some people are just nasty. But it shook DD up.
When DD went to leave someone stole her bike, they cut the lock. She didn't know where the buses were or which line to take and it was after 11pm. So she started walking towards her dorm but then a group of drunks guys fell in behind her so she turned and they turned too still following her and that is when she called/freaked out. She needed her phone to google back to the dorm too. So she had to hang up.
She saw a mom and littler kids so she asked her for help, turned out their older kid is from the same dorm and also from a small home town close to us, they took her back to her dorm. The dad told her as she was still crying don't get into cars with strangers.

 

[Poohforyou]

@yeahdisney , how scary for your daughter trying to get back to her dorm. Does her campus have some kind of blue light system where she could call campus police if she finds herself in a bad situation again? I can't imagine what you were feeling during that phone call. Hugs to both of you.

 

[punkin]

Yeahdisney, how horrible.

 

[sk!mom]

DD had a horrible night. The good part was she made the bowling team. So she had to work the concession stand at the U of I football game tonight. Bad part: So a women ripped her apart for being out of pretzels, DD told her it would be a 5 to 10 minute wait would she like to wait? She screams at her and said I just waited 30 minutes in this line are you kidding me, more stuff then asked for the manager well it's volunteers there no manager so she tell the other worker girl - she is the rudest girl I ever met and more. She takes a water and DD tells her enjoy the game. Off she went. the next person was the customer friend and she reads DD name tag and proceeds to give her more grief, telling her the girl won't enjoy the game cause she doesn't have a pretzel and then is mean to her. The next lady is a mom with kids and she told her. Honey don't pay attention to them, your doing fine and some people are just nasty. But it shook DD up.
When DD went to leave someone stole her bike, they cut the lock. She didn't know where the buses were or which line to take and it was after 11pm. So she started walking towards her dorm but then a group of drunks guys fell in behind her so she turned and they turned too still following her and that is when she called/freaked out. She needed her phone to google back to the dorm too. So she had to hang up.
She saw a mom and littler kids so she asked her for help, turned out their older kid is from the same dorm and also from a small home town close to us, they took her back to her dorm. The dad told her as she was still crying don't get into cars with strangers.

Oh my goodness! Poor girl! It must have been terrible for you too, mom. Good thinking for her to approach a mom with kids for help.

I am confused on the last sentence. Did she get in the car with this family and after that the dad told her that she shouldn't have?

 

[wannabee]

I am trying hard to let DS have some space and not call or text too often. I told him I need to hear his voice once a week.

He knew Dh and I were not thrilled that he was driving to New Orleans Friday night for a concert at a nightclub. You think he could have texted or called me when he was leaving on Saturday to let me know all was ok. Not a word. I texted him about 3pm yesterday and have not heard back. His phone goes straight to voicemail.

Dh texted a friend of DS who said that they were back from NO and were tailgating before the football game but hadn't seen DS in a while. I'm sure he is fine but I am worried and aggravated. He will tell me his phone was dead. But it is now 9:30 am on Sunday and phone still goes to voicemail. Now I worry... just how much did he drink yesterday if phone is still not charged? And where is he?

Sorry for rambling but I am a nervous wreck. Letting go is so much harder than I imagined. He's only an hour away. If no contact soon, I think I will make the drive.

 

[Sabeking]

DD had a horrible night. The good part was she made the bowling team. So she had to work the concession stand at the U of I football game tonight. Bad part: So a women ripped her apart for being out of pretzels, DD told her it would be a 5 to 10 minute wait would she like to wait? She screams at her and said I just waited 30 minutes in this line are you kidding me, more stuff then asked for the manager well it's volunteers there no manager so she tell the other worker girl - she is the rudest girl I ever met and more. She takes a water and DD tells her enjoy the game. Off she went. the next person was the customer friend and she reads DD name tag and proceeds to give her more grief, telling her the girl won't enjoy the game cause she doesn't have a pretzel and then is mean to her. The next lady is a mom with kids and she told her. Honey don't pay attention to them, your doing fine and some people are just nasty. But it shook DD up.
When DD went to leave someone stole her bike, they cut the lock. She didn't know where the buses were or which line to take and it was after 11pm. So she started walking towards her dorm but then a group of drunks guys fell in behind her so she turned and they turned too still following her and that is when she called/freaked out. She needed her phone to google back to the dorm too. So she had to hang up.
She saw a mom and littler kids so she asked her for help, turned out their older kid is from the same dorm and also from a small home town close to us, they took her back to her dorm. The dad told her as she was still crying don't get into cars with strangers.

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for your dd; sounds like she handled it well. Good for searching out a family! Like my dd hoping all these experiences are making them stronger! Hugs!

 

[Sabeking]

I am trying hard to let DS have some space and not call or text too often. I told him I need to hear his voice once a week.

He knew Dh and I were not thrilled that he was driving to New Orleans Friday night for a concert at a nightclub. You think he could have texted or called me when he was leaving on Saturday to let me know all was ok. Not a word. I texted him about 3pm yesterday and have not heard back. His phone goes straight to voicemail.

Dh texted a friend of DS who said that they were back from NO and were tailgating before the football game but hadn't seen DS in a while. I'm sure he is fine but I am worried and aggravated. He will tell me his phone was dead. But it is now 9:30 am on Sunday and phone still goes to voicemail. Now I worry... just how much did he drink yesterday if phone is still not charged? And where is he?

Sorry for rambling but I am a nervous wreck. Letting go is so much harder than I imagined. He's only an hour away. If no contact soon, I think I will make the drive.

These kids are gonna kill us, right?! They have no idea what it is like to be a parent. You should go a week or two and not return his calls. That would be interesting.

So, I let my daughter know I would be tracking her phone for safety issues. It is very easy and just gives me peace of mind. Would you have any interest in that? Did your DH tell the friend to have him call you?

I am praying peace for you. If the friend saw him since the concert I'm sure he's fine!!! Keep us updated. Hugs!

 

[lovin'fl]

I am trying hard to let DS have some space and not call or text too often. I told him I need to hear his voice once a week.

He knew Dh and I were not thrilled that he was driving to New Orleans Friday night for a concert at a nightclub. You think he could have texted or called me when he was leaving on Saturday to let me know all was ok. Not a word. I texted him about 3pm yesterday and have not heard back. His phone goes straight to voicemail.

Dh texted a friend of DS who said that they were back from NO and were tailgating before the football game but hadn't seen DS in a while. I'm sure he is fine but I am worried and aggravated. He will tell me his phone was dead. But it is now 9:30 am on Sunday and phone still goes to voicemail. Now I worry... just how much did he drink yesterday if phone is still not charged? And where is he?

Sorry for rambling but I am a nervous wreck. Letting go is so much harder than I imagined. He's only an hour away. If no contact soon, I think I will make the drive.

This is frustrating and my DS-20 does similar. I told him. And DDs-18 that if I text them and they are too busy or don't have time or too tired to reply a lot that they need to at least reply 'am ok' and I will know they can't chat but they are ok. Maybe have some short code word your DS can reply. I also have screen shots of their class schedules on my phone and know not to text during class. We do text with DDs often...few times a day. They are good about keeping us informed but DS....ugghhhh. He texted yesterday to ask if we would be home Monday and I said 'yes, why?' and never heard back. So today, about half an hour ago, I text him again asking why and still no word.

 

[wannabee]

Thanks y'all. I'm sure he's fine. I am a worrier by nature so this letting go is tough. DH is not a worrier but he was worried enough yesterday to text DS friend. I'm sure he will text later as probably still sleeping. I'm going to go find something to do to keep my mind off it.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

DD had a horrible night. The good part was she made the bowling team. So she had to work the concession stand at the U of I football game tonight. Bad part: So a women ripped her apart for being out of pretzels, DD told her it would be a 5 to 10 minute wait would she like to wait? She screams at her and said I just waited 30 minutes in this line are you kidding me, more stuff then asked for the manager well it's volunteers there no manager so she tell the other worker girl - she is the rudest girl I ever met and more. She takes a water and DD tells her enjoy the game. Off she went. the next person was the customer friend and she reads DD name tag and proceeds to give her more grief, telling her the girl won't enjoy the game cause she doesn't have a pretzel and then is mean to her. The next lady is a mom with kids and she told her. Honey don't pay attention to them, your doing fine and some people are just nasty. But it shook DD up.
When DD went to leave someone stole her bike, they cut the lock. She didn't know where the buses were or which line to take and it was after 11pm. So she started walking towards her dorm but then a group of drunks guys fell in behind her so she turned and they turned too still following her and that is when she called/freaked out. She needed her phone to google back to the dorm too. So she had to hang up.
She saw a mom and littler kids so she asked her for help, turned out their older kid is from the same dorm and also from a small home town close to us, they took her back to her dorm. The dad told her as she was still crying don't get into cars with strangers.

Very scary for your DD. You taught her well though because she found a mom with young kids to help her. That is what I've always told my children to do if they get lost or in trouble. It stinks about the bike being stolen!

 

[mamacatnv]

Oh wow, y'all are having a rough weekend. Wannabee I too am a worrier. DS has always been good about checking in. He is 27, on his own and still checks in. He's like me, a worrier so we also check in with him.

DD is a completely different animal. She will go days and days with no contact. I finally seemed to have convinced her that its not about her, its a courtesy to ME. She is in NYC on her own right now, she agreed to text every night "I'm in" so that I know she is at her base. So far so good but its only been 5 days.

YeahDisney, your poor DD. That's a lot for a young person. I'd definatly look into campus escort services so she has a resource in the future.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I'm not much of a worrier, but DD's been at school for 2 1/2 weeks and we still haven't heard anything from her outside of texts saying she "forgot this," or "needs that," or "lost this." We've called and left several voicemails, no response. We do get texts, but only when we text first.

So yesterday I actually tagged her in a post on FaceBook and she apparently "doesn't get voicemail notifications" on her phone. Hmmm. And you think that would be a clue that she needs to call home, especially since her DH told her in a follow up post to call home.

Sigh.

 

[Kimberle]

Two weeks in. DD likes her classes and is managing campus life well enough. She shares a room with her best friend from HS. They are in a suite with 6 other girls. Socially, well..... This school is a much bigger "party" school than expected. DD knows that there is an "element" no matter where she goes. However, it seems that just about everyone she meets is a very big partier. Including the other 6 roommates. (She and her BF agree that the school grouped everyone by major and disregarded the housing questioner.) She tries to break the ice, hey, want to watch xxx or go xxx, but the standard answer is, "I need to sleep so I can party later...." They all seem to have fake ID's (with the help of upperclassmen), take Ubers, and bar hop. This is just not dd or her BF's "thing". Besides the legal and safety issue, I can't imaging how much money these kids are blowing through....

The dorms are also noisey all night. I guess I'm showing my age, but when I was in college, we had quiet hours from 11pm - 7am (midnight on the weekends) so people could sleep. I remember taking my typewriter down to the lounge so I wouldn't keep anyone up while typing late at night.

 

[wannabee]

Happy to report that Ds checked in. Dead phone..... always his reason. Oh well, I need to get better at this.

 

[sk!mom]

I am trying hard to let DS have some space and not call or text too often. I told him I need to hear his voice once a week.

He knew Dh and I were not thrilled that he was driving to New Orleans Friday night for a concert at a nightclub. You think he could have texted or called me when he was leaving on Saturday to let me know all was ok. Not a word. I texted him about 3pm yesterday and have not heard back. His phone goes straight to voicemail.

Dh texted a friend of DS who said that they were back from NO and were tailgating before the football game but hadn't seen DS in a while. I'm sure he is fine but I am worried and aggravated. He will tell me his phone was dead. But it is now 9:30 am on Sunday and phone still goes to voicemail. Now I worry... just how much did he drink yesterday if phone is still not charged? And where is he?

Sorry for rambling but I am a nervous wreck. Letting go is so much harder than I imagined. He's only an hour away. If no contact soon, I think I will make the drive.

I get the worry. My DD21 drove 45 minutes to a concert in her second week of freshman year. I was nervous but determined not to hover. I watched her instgram for photos all night and held myself back from calling/texting. Finally mid day the next day, I texted,"you know if it's not on social media, it didn't happen. Anxiously awaiting pics of your adventure." Her reply, "I told you to download snapchat if you wanted to keep up." Sure enough I was able to get a peek at her whole fun night. So that's my advice follow them on social media. Although my male nephews don't seem to post much.

I do have to say, if you choose to follow their social media to keep up don't be intrusive or they will block you. I never comment publicly and never scold. I just want to know that she's alive and well.

I hope you have contact soon. And there is nothing wrong with requesting check ins.

 

[mamacatnv]

I get the worry. My DD21 drove 45 minutes to a concert in her second week of freshman year. I was nervous but determined not to hover. I watched her instgram for photos all night and held myself back from calling/texting. Finally mid day the next day, I texted,"you know if it's not on social media, it didn't happen. Anxiously awaiting pics of your adventure." Her reply, "I told you to download snapchat if you wanted to keep up." Sure enough I was able to get a peek at her whole fun night. So that's my advice follow them on social media. Although my male nephews don't seem to post much.

I do have to say, if you choose to follow their social media to keep up don't be intrusive or they will block you. I never comment publicly and never scold. I just want to know that she's alive and well.

I hope you have contact soon. And there is nothing wrong with requesting check ins.

I get the worry. My DD21 drove 45 minutes to a concert in her second week of freshman year. I was nervous but determined not to hover. I watched her instgram for photos all night and held myself back from calling/texting. Finally mid day the next day, I texted,"you know if it's not on social media, it didn't happen. Anxiously awaiting pics of your adventure." Her reply, "I told you to download snapchat if you wanted to keep up." Sure enough I was able to get a peek at her whole fun night. So that's my advice follow them on social media. Although my male nephews don't seem to post much.

I do have to say, if you choose to follow their social media to keep up don't be intrusive or they will block you. I never comment publicly and never scold. I just want to know that she's alive and well.

I hope you have contact soon. And there is nothing wrong with requesting check ins.

In 2008 Son went to college and I got Facebook. Now I have FB, instagram, twitter, snapchat and tumblr.
I rarely comment. I don't send their friends friend requests, I will accept invites but don't initiate.
Social media is a great way to keep anxiety at bay without being "that" parent.

 

[yeahdisney]

For DD the dad arrived by the vehicle after she had approached the mom. While she was in the car he told her not to get into car with others. She was still crying at that point and he was coaching her to keep her safe.
We got her another bike today. I was going there today anyway.

 

[yeahdisney]

Today when I logged in to print DD awards to receive credit back from those. I saw the school gave her an Engineeing department award for $120. It was never listed before. Have no idea why but she should get that back as a credit too. Thanks school.

DS is a junior this year he sat for ACT sept 9 th. hmmm wonder what that score might be. I believe he is going to go look at un of Michigan and un of Washington for computers. I told him he needs back up plans. Because DDS high school classmate had an ACT of 33 was valedictorian and was active sports and community and got declined for U of IL for computer engineer but did get accepted for computer science.