Promposals....

[undertheradar]

It's all about ME...........

Nothing appears to be private anymore.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

It's all about ME...........

Nothing appears to be private anymore.

Agreed! I am so sick to death of everything having to be a public spectacle. Is there any "rights of passage" that aren't now a competition of who can "do it bigger and better"? Between the promposals, marriage proposals, huge bridal showers, weddings spectacles, baby announcements followed up by gender reveals and the over the top baby showers, blowout first birthday parties attended by 100 people, etc., I am just so so so so over it all.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

The gender reveal parties that are basically a pre baby shower get me. Do I take a gift? Do I not?

I've been to gender reveals but very low key ones. Close family and friends only. They open a box and balloons fly out or something along those lines. No giant cake, elaborate decorations, etc. They literally send out a group text "hey we had our ultrasound today. Stop by the house at 6 to find out."

In my culture we do a big 1st birthday (although this isn't always the case anymore) and a big 15th birthday for girls. It's not to show off. It's just what we've been doing since forever.

 

[Katy Belle]

It's all about ME...........

Nothing appears to be private anymore.

Promposals are not always public. DS tied a note to the foot of a plushie owl, and threw it at his girlfriend, like it was flying. It was just them. No photos, no spectators, no social media.

I realize they often are public, but that is not always the intent. Sometimes the intent is to do something fun for someone you care about.

 

[mjkacmom]

Promposals are not always public. DS tied a note to the foot of a plushie owl, and threw it at his girlfriend, like it was flying. It was just them. No photos, no spectators, no social media.

I realize they often are public, but that is not always the intent. Sometimes the intent is to do something fun for someone you care about.

Here they are more often low key. I've never heard kids complain about them, just parents. The last one dd20 got was a chipotle burrito bowl that he delivered to our house, alone.

 

[cabanafrau]

DD and her boyfriend put pics up on Facebook of the promposal for his prom because less than 5 people saw it in person to make sure they got lots and lots of attention, because that's all that mattered to them. It was very, very elaborate, with five, count them, five poster boards spelling out PROM? It was soooo very spectacular and showy. A friend was standing by to capture each moment professionally with photographs (yes, there were two photos!) with their phone. She blanketed Pinterest with the spectacular ideas so everyone can do it their way, but of course nowhere near the incredible level of detail.

When she invited him to her prom next year at Science Olympiad she kept it top secret because she knew the legions of folks were still getting over their envy of last year's spectacular production and didn't think they could stand the frenzy of using multiple colors of marker.

You think I would have stepped up as a parent and put a stop to the second year since I knew about that one. I'm sure that's what any responsible parent would have done to prevent this terrible, terrible pox from spreading through our community and society as a whole. It's a shame, I tell you, an outright shame.

 

[cabanafrau]

Here they are more often low key. I've never heard kids complain about them, just parents. The last one dd20 got was a chipotle burrito bowl that he delivered to our house, alone.

I hope you turned the sprinklers on that hooligan!

 

[mjkacmom]

Agreed! I am so sick to death of everything having to be a public spectacle. Is there any "rights of passage" that aren't now a competition of who can "do it bigger and better"? Between the promposals, marriage proposals, huge bridal showers, weddings spectacles, baby announcements followed up by gender reveals and the over the top baby showers, blowout first birthday parties attended by 100 people, etc., I am just so so so so over it all.

Here's the thing, blame social media. We've always had huge bridal showers, wedding spectacles, blowout first birthday parties, elaborate wedding proposals, in this area, for at least 50 or so years. Nothing here has changed, except for gender reveals and promposals. Every 50 years, you need something new!

 

[cabanafrau]

The gender reveal parties that are basically a pre baby shower get me. Do I take a gift? Do I not?

I've been to gender reveals but very low key ones. Close family and friends only. They open a box and balloons fly out or something along those lines. No giant cake, elaborate decorations, etc. They literally send out a group text "hey we had our ultrasound today. Stop by the house at 6 to find out."

In my culture we do a big 1st birthday (although this isn't always the case anymore) and a big 15th birthday for girls. It's not to show off. It's just what we've been doing since forever.

It may well be that those traditions started off as showing off, or were considered to be showing off in the early years.

 

[TeresaBelle]

DD18 is getting ready for senior prom in a few weeks. She's never had a true promposal, but said if she did, she'd want one of these... lol

 

[Vijoge]

Promposals? Nah. . .the elementary school near our house has a kindergarten Prom!

 

[mjkacmom]

It may well be that those traditions started off as showing off, or were considered to be showing off in the early years.

Actually, I believe these traditions came across the pond from cultures that were really into big celebrations, like Italy. Folks settled here and carried on tradition. It was very common for family to live in the same neighborhoods, and every party had a lot of people, food, and drink.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I think they can be done tastefully and be sweet, and don't have to be over the top. I do think there's more pressure on the boys (although some girls do the asking, it's still mostly boys) to come up with something creative and original. But as with the whole prom experience, I know some kids who've just made it fun and enjoyed themselves and others who love drama.

Promposals? Nah. . .the elementary school near our house has a kindergarten Prom!

Now that seems a bit much. The high school here hosts an annual "senior prom" for senior citizens in the community. The students serve food to the guests and dance with them if they need a partner. The jazz band performs and some choral students sing. It's a really nice event for all involved.

 

[superme80]

Promposals? Nah. . .the elementary school near our house has a kindergarten Prom!

I have seen that online. Crazy!
I am not a fan of promposals. I did not hear about them until I was well out of high school. My friend grew up in a town in Idaho, so I thought it was just something they did. Over the next 10 years I have been hearing about it more and more. When my boys are older, I will encourage something low-key, but not over the top. While I do enjoy watch elaborate proposals on youtube, I do wonder how the couple will do with the mundane of married life.

 

[pryncess527]

I dunno, I've never had a single vacation/party that even came close to the amazing-ness that was my wedding. Yet, in the 13 years since I've never been disappointed that every day isn't like our wedding. I'm not sure I see the connection between enjoying a promposal and a lifetime of disappointment because nothing else will live up to that moment.

 

[javeyloveschelsi]

Normally, I just ignore the whole promposal Idea--I even ignore the flashy proposals that are everywhere. But, there was a local one I saw on the news done a couple weeks ago where a young man asked his best friend's little sister who has down syndrome to prom by bringing her flowers, Doritos, and wearing a Doritos themed shirt that said "I know I'm NACHO your typical Dorito but..." and the back reads, "I'm going to be CHEESY and ask: will you go to prom with me?" I thought it was so cute and absolutely made her day. I thought that was really special and a very cute idea.

 

[runwad]

Not a fan. Here they do it for EVERY DANCE, not just prom! In fact my DS16 went to homecoming 9th grade year and that's been it. He's not a fan of doing all that either. So you know what? The guys don't go to the dances, and then the girls don't have dates. It's too much. I can see doing something like that when you get engaged but for a random girl to go to a dance? Not happening in this house.

 

[Marchand63]

Do these seem like the most ridiculous things to anyone else?

Ok admitting I have not read most posts here but to answer the question

YES!!!!!

Heck my xDH (he's a good guy) didn't put that much trouble into marriage proposal. My now & permanent DH didn't either. You wanna - sure. I think the it has to be bigger and better is ridiculous.

 

[design_mom]

Not a fan. Here they do it for EVERY DANCE, not just prom! In fact my DS16 went to homecoming 9th grade year and that's been it. He's not a fan of doing all that either. So you know what? The guys don't go to the dances, and then the girls don't have dates. It's too much. I can see doing something like that when you get engaged but for a random girl to go to a dance? Not happening in this house.

I'd agree with this.

I don't have a big problem with promposals in general -- to each their own, whatever floats your boat, etc. However, they have become expected and that puts pressure on the boys. At our school, only juniors and seniors can invite people to prom (my son's a sophomore so we haven't done prom yet). But, he asked a girl to homecoming freshman year by making her a large cookie and spelling out "HC?" in m&ms on the top. Sophomore year, he decided just to skip the dance.

 

[ols386]

OT - but where is your user pic from? That looks SO gorgeous, and just the kind of vacation I need

The picture was take at the pool area of Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim CA. We loved it there.