Taking family to WDW on your DVC points

[Golden Rose]

We are very seriously thinking about buying into DVC. We're going to do the tour on our next trip, and we may go ahead and purchase if not right then, then within the next few months.

Assuming we buy in, DH and I are interested in taking his DSis and 2 DNephews who are close in age to our son. They are unlikely to ever go to WDW if we don't take them (DH is the most successful one in his family,) and we think it would be a treat for them and a great way for DS to spend time with his cousins.

However, we are concerned about hurting other family feelings... DH has two sisters, and is not close to the other one although he likes her children. I also have 2 DSisters, although they could actually afford a WDW vacation if they chose to. Do y'all think it would be a bad idea to just take one DSis and her family, and would generate more bad feelings than good? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

 

[spiceycat]

you know your family best.

if you think someone would be hurt then tell them you can only afford to take one family every other year. and they need to wait their turn.

 

[Anthony1971]

I take family almost every. I did have an experience this year where somones feelings were hurt. Bottom line is it is your TS you can take who you want....
But be aware you will most likely deal with this type of situation when brinning family... Just tell them politly maybe next year.....

 

[Slakk]

We are very seriously thinking about buying into DVC. We're going to do the tour on our next trip, and we may go ahead and purchase if not right then, then within the next few months.

Assuming we buy in, DH and I are interested in taking his DSis and 2 DNephews who are close in age to our son. They are unlikely to ever go to WDW if we don't take them (DH is the most successful one in his family,) and we think it would be a treat for them and a great way for DS to spend time with his cousins.

However, we are concerned about hurting other family feelings... DH has two sisters, and is not close to the other one although he likes her children. I also have 2 DSisters, although they could actually afford a WDW vacation if they chose to. Do y'all think it would be a bad idea to just take one DSis and her family, and would generate more bad feelings than good? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

We are stuck in the never-ending family sucking of points so be warned! Understand that a one time thing can become a yearly expectation. And if you do it for one expect others to want a turn.

The other issue is that the cost of WDW is high even with a free room. So are you planning to pay for their food and tickets.

Just giving you the other side because while I love my family I am now the tour guide - no one wants to help plan anything from resorts to ME to ADRs and they give no thought to the time and effort. I really am not bitter about it but I wish I had thought about it because everyone in my family CAN afford WDW but now they don't give it a thought - just use my points.

 

[Inkmahm]

Oh, yeah. It will come back to bite you at some point. Someone will be hurt or angry.

I'm very generous to both my brother and sister (and parents, only just mom is left now.) I've taken all of them to Disney at least once, and most of them have gone two or three times on my dime.

It's my SIL that is the greedy one. When hearing about our points the very first thing out of her mouth was to ask when they could use the points. But that means me paying for everything else for the trip other than park tickets, too. That's 6 of them with their 4 kids! I've told them they could rent the points from me any time they'd like. She doesn't like that answer, of course. But I am NOT going to Disney in the summer or when her kids have off from school. We go in December and in Spring and that's it. If they can't go during that time frame, then too bad.

This December we're taking my DH's immediate family so there will be 12 of us. I haven't heard anything but "thank you's" from that side of the family. No demands, no requests, etc. We're paying for the rooms with points and then treating them to MVMCP and some very nice dinners (Cali Grill, Jiko's, Liberty Tree) and breakfast with Cinderella. Everything else, they are on their own.

 

[DisDaydreamer]

Be very careful... this story often has a bad ending. Sounds like your story has all the ingredients for a tear jerker.

 

[Boston5602]

My mom has joined us for our Disney trips, for most of them . I don't want her paying for the room if I have points . She is/was so grateful that she paid my full dues one year and just gave me the money for an add on.

Of course we have to use those new points so me and mom are doing 6 nights BWV and 2 nights AKV in 6 months.



THANKS MOM

 

[Golden Rose]

Yeah, I keep being afraid this could create a lot of bad feelings... but I keep hoping we could find a way to work it out that we could give his sister and her family a treat. I know we would have to pay for everything for their family - if Disney still offers the DDP for DVC members, we would probably get them that as well as their park tickets. We really couldn't afford to do it for family very often (I'm not working right now while DS is young, so we're living on one income); we certainly could afford it once in the next few years while her kids are still young enough to appreciate it. It would be tough, pretty much impossible, for us to take both his sisters and their families at once.

My side of the family would be easier, but they need it less. We could offer my sisters and their SOs room only, and they could pay for their own everything else. They would be grateful for the room and not expect more. On the other hand, they don't yet have kids and don't care as much at this time.

We really do want to share with our family, we just don't know how to manage the politics of it.

 

[MagikMom]

We have taken my parents with us and got them a studio with our points. They reciprocated by paying for some of our dinners. My DH invited his twin brother and his family to come with us, SIL, Neice. We actually took my niece with us on one of other trips. So, now that we took my DH's brother, I feel obligated to take my brother and his family at some point. My brother has quite a bit of money but that's not the point. I have told him that when his youngest get's a little older, he's 3, we would take him and his family. It's a tough situation taking family, it really is. Even though my brother may not care if we took my husbands brother but I do. It would bother me if I didn't invite them at some point.

 

[eliza61]

We are very seriously thinking about buying into DVC. We're going to do the tour on our next trip, and we may go ahead and purchase if not right then, then within the next few months.

Assuming we buy in, DH and I are interested in taking his DSis and 2 DNephews who are close in age to our son. They are unlikely to ever go to WDW if we don't take them (DH is the most successful one in his family,) and we think it would be a treat for them and a great way for DS to spend time with his cousins.

However, we are concerned about hurting other family feelings... DH has two sisters, and is not close to the other one although he likes her children. I also have 2 DSisters, although they could actually afford a WDW vacation if they chose to. Do y'all think it would be a bad idea to just take one DSis and her family, and would generate more bad feelings than good? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

There use to be a saying "Weddings & funerals can tear a family apart", I've added trips to disney with the family to that list. Since you are buying a membership you will probably have many opportunities to be very nice to you other siblings. I often try to invite my family, one sister makes my life a living H$%** before we even leave, one sis is a pearl to travel with. I would go ahead an offer the invitation and if any one complains say you will have your membership hopefully for many years to come and plan to make many memories with all the family.

 

[Amy5000]

However, we are concerned about hurting other family feelings... DH has two sisters, and is not close to the other one although he likes her children. I also have 2 DSisters, although they could actually afford a WDW vacation if they chose to. Do y'all think it would be a bad idea to just take one DSis and her family, and would generate more bad feelings than good? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Hey Golden:

I just have to ask...can your DH's other sister afford to go to WDW? Is her situation similar to the sister that you want to take? I totally understand when you are closer to someone and wanting to take them. Is DH on poor terms with the other sister? What would niece and nephew think of you taking their cousins and aunt but not them and their mom?

I have to say this board is filled with very generous people. I would love to take my family...but with my small allotment of 100 pts it's just not going to happen all that much.

Good luck.

 

[crisi]

We are in the rolling family situation.

It started innocently enough. A desire to treat my MIL to a trip. Very generous woman - but broke - so we paid for everything.

Then my husband decided he needed to take his brother in celebration of his brother's divorce. Also broke - a guys trip. We paid for everything.

Which left me saying "HEY" So we took my parents on a cruise. My parents have saved us thousands in babysitting. They can afford a lot of stuff on their own, but this was a thank you. And we'd paid for his mother. And we'd paid for his brother.

Now we still need to take my sisters and their families - who can afford their own Disney vacations. And might as well have my parents tag along and make it a family thing. Room only because there are so many of us doing that - I'm not paying airfare for twelve.

Which is leaving my husband saying "but I'd like a family thing too." And me saying "nope. not when we need to pick up airfare, food and park tickets for your whole family. Do that once for them - I won't be the bank for family vacations."

(We do it on 150 points - but bank and borrow to be able to do it).

Its a rolling situation of family. Be careful.

 

[Slakk]

My mom has joined us for our Disney trips, for most of them . I don't want her paying for the room if I have points . She is/was so grateful that she paid my full dues one year and just gave me the money for an add on.

Of course we have to use those new points so me and mom are doing 6 nights BWV and 2 nights AKV in 6 months.



THANKS MOM

Wow can Mom talk to my parents? My very well off parents paid for my son's DDP as the *thank you* for the 2 BR 5 night stay...that is correct 50 bucks LOL!!!!

Did I mention that in January when I am bringing them AND my DB and his family that my mother got annoyed I refuse to give her and my Dad the King Bed? I told her when she gets her own points she gets the big bed! She was half kidding, but sorry I get the big bathroom and bed for my 30K investment!

 

[Golden Rose]

Hey Golden:

I just have to ask...can your DH's other sister afford to go to WDW? Is her situation similar to the sister that you want to take? I totally understand when you are closer to someone and wanting to take them. Is DH on poor terms with the other sister? What would niece and nephew think of you taking their cousins and aunt but not them and their mom?

I have to say this board is filled with very generous people. I would love to take my family...but with my small allotment of 100 pts it's just not going to happen all that much.

Good luck.

No, DH's other sister can't. Actually, I hadn't wanted to post dirty laundry even somewhere where no one knows us, but the truth is, she is a complete mess. Left her husband and kids... twice. (He took her back once.) Can't (won't?) support herself so is always sponging off DH's parents or hitting DH up for money. (To make a long and complicated story short: DH used to give it to her, or to his parents after they couldn't pay their bills after paying hers. I'm sort of the villain in their family because I put a stop to his sending them all his spare money. He had no savings and some debt when we married because of constantly trying to help his family. Now we own a house, we have savings, and we're even talking DVC.)

So, basically, DH doesn't have much of a relationship with that sister. We love her kids (two teenage girls, one preteen boy), but two of them are somewhat messed up and very wild. We have had both the girls to visit us (without the mother or the brother), and I wouldn't mind taking them with us to WDW at some point if they wanted to go. The boy is a tougher call, as he is fairly wild and rough with our two year old, and I don't know how he would feel if we took his sisters and not him.

The sister we would like to take works hard to make ends meet and really does what she can to support her kids. We are so proud of what she has accomplished, and we would love to reward her and give her kids a treat.

None of them have ever been to WDW. DH's family didn't (and doesn't) have the money. That is part of our dilemma. It is pretty much a certainty that if we don't take them, they will never go. But we're afraid that if we try to take just some of them, which is really all we can afford at a time, we'll cause family friction. I guess we might be able to find a way to use three years of points at some point, and at least offer to take everyone along. It would have to be a shorter trip and we might have to stay somewhere that doesn't use as many points. I'm afraid it would make DH crazy, though...

 

[jomik1]

Wow, we've been very lucky with our family. First time we went with family it was my parents, sis, b-i-l, and niece. (Sis has her own points) Parents stayed with sis and her family and we had a good time. This was July 05.

Went down in Mar 06 with M-i-l, s-i-l, 2 nephews and the 4 of us (me, dh, & 2 DS's) We had a GV at SSR and had a great time. We provided the room. S-i-l purchased airline tickets for her and her boys. We each paid for our own park tickets and food (s-i-l did pick up a few meals for all of us as thank you). We took care of mom's park tickets. DH & S-I-L split M-i-l's remaining expenses (ie - flight and food). It was our decision together to take care of mom's vacation. (Mom bought kids their souviner's) A wonderful time was had by all.

We are now planning a trip in June 08. Another GV at SSR with me, dh, 2ds's
and my parents this time. They will take care of thier own way down (we fly but mom won't so they will drive). I'll take care of their park tickets and we'll take care of most of the meals though dad will fight to pay for some. Parents own a condo in Clearwater that we have used over the years so this is a great way to say "Thank you" for the free accomodations. Sis and neice may decide to join us but she will take care of all her expenses. She is welcome to stay in GV with us or she may use her own points. If she decides to come, it will be her call.

We've been very lucky. We get along very well with our parents and siblings so we have never had any problem with "ungrateful" relatives. It all depends on the family. I'm sure every situation is different, but be sure to make sure every thing is laid out up front so there are no surprises. If everyone is aware, up front, what the expectations are, hopefully many problems can be eliminated.

 

[spiceycat]

I have problems not only with family - but friends too.

take them once and they start to expect it.

I love my solo trips - thank you very much!

but make it plain that you only have so many points. When my relatives start to bug me - I always get the maintence bill and say well lets share this.

that generally stops it.

 

[3DisneyKids]

I think that you can find a way to take only the family that you want to without hurting the feelings of the others. Start with the "good" sis.

If other people start to balk...you can very nicely and directly explain how the points system works and that you are limited in what you can do, but it is your hope to be able to take family once every three years. You are starting with this sis because she has kids close to your kids in terms of age and you want them all to be able to do the same things at the same time, etc. Then, three years from now, you can see where the other family members are. Did the mess of a sister get her act together? Did your sisters have kids yet and now want to go? and so on. But if you put that three-year cycle out there, then they know that it is waaaayyyy down the road.

As for the "bad" sis--if you do take her kids (or her with her kids), no you can't leave out the boy just because he is wild. As a pre-teen, it is not HIS fault that his mom is a mess and he turned out that way. He didn't have proper parenting, as you state, and I don't think he should be banned from a Disney trip for that. Who knows, a week with your family might show him how nice a real family can be.

 

[minster22]

We just returned from our first trip with DH's family.....12 of us went. DH is one of 4 and his brother is the one we always talked about going to WDW with....he loves it!!! The trip came about during talk in the afterglow of our Thanksgiving dinner.....well due to divorce and the ensuing problems that come with new relationships his 2 sisters and brother have been at odds and he did not come with us. He was asked but did not feel comfortable....Our feelings are to do what we can with the points we have and let people know that as much as we would like to bring "everybody" there are limits to what we can do. The trip turned out very well once we bought park tickets for the kids.....his 2 sisters could not get a commitment from the kids (teenagers and 20 something who won't commit to anything!!) so they didn't get any park tickets for anyone. We let the older "kids" make their own decision about tickets but bought his brothers kids theirs....it all turned out well in the end.Even with lots of planning and communication going with family will always have its pitfalls and I think the main thing it to roll with the punches and keep expectations low....we truly had a blast with all the kids....more fun that I could have imagined!!

 

[gtrist4life]

Prior to purchasing DVC we had a couple of great trips with family.

We bought our 180 points in 2003 with the full intent to share with family and friends.
Me and DW's agreement was that we would cycle through this pattern, with details below

Our family (2004 HHI)
My family or our friends (My mom and my sister’s family 2005 BW)
Our family (2005 DL)
Her family or our friends (Her parents, her brother and his wife 2007 VB and BW)
Our family (2007 SSR)
My family or our friends (Our friends 2008 BW)

So far so good, all the family DVC trips have turned out great, but we will need to add on points to keep up the desired pace and if in the future we are blessed with grandkids.

As others have mentioned, being upfront and clear on expectations is key to at least having a chance of things going smoothly. We’ve had people back out right before we made reservations, you don’t want them backing out 2 weeks beforehand.

We make it clear that this is a once every 3-5 year invite. There are some family members (especially on my side) that we’re closer to than others, and some that won’t get an invite, but that’s life. It’s too short to wallow in drama or hang with unhappy/jealous folks.

As far as who pays for what, that’s up to you. We state that the lodging is on us, everything else is their responsibility. We half jokingly say that the only requirement is that they have a good time (usually not hard to do at WDW!)

As part of the explanation of the timing and cancellation limits, we do state what the lodging is costing us (point value x around $10 per point). If they decide to buy us a dinner or two or something nice as appreciation, that’s fine, but we don’t expect it.

Good luck with your plans, hope you buy in, it’s been a great purchase for us.

 

[Golden Rose]

It's great to hear that it has really been worth it for many of you. We're really leaning towards buying in, and finding some way to share with both sides of our family.

It probably won't be this year. We've already got a week booked (and paid for) in September in a Garden Suite at BWI, and we've just had another round of unexpected medical bills come up. (This has completely been the year for that for us. Next year has got to be better.) We'll do the tour when we're onsite in September, but probably not buy until next year. We really want to pay for our points in cash only. We could buy a smaller resale contract comfortably now, but I'm not sure what someone does with less than 50 points. Bank one year and borrow from the third year, I guess.

I like the idea of having all adults buy their own tickets, it just wouldn't work with DH's sisters. The "good" sis with the kids close in age to our son might be able to afford it down the road, and we probably wouldn't try to take her right away since the boys are 2 and 5 right now. If it really is a once in a lifetime trip for her kids, I think they should be more like 6 and 9 to get maximum benefit. (We're taking our DS this September and next May - we have no qualms about taking him this young, but we plan to take him often.) I think DH's other nephew would really enjoy it now, but he's the aforementioned wild preteen whose parents don't discipline him at all.)

At this point, I'm starting to think that it is not "if" we buy into DVC, it is "when". I, of course, would love to take my side of the family. They would be gracious, appreciative, and would almost certainly offer to buy their own tickets and meals. (Of course, they all think they would hate it, which is why they haven't gone yet, but I suspect we could lure them with "free" place to stay!)