Chapter 15: The One Where We Finally Don’t Have To Do Any Crazy Driving
Pop Tarts taste better on Disney property.
I didn’t say they taste good; I just said they taste better when consumed after waking up in a Disney resort.
Today was our Typhoon Lagoon day, and everyone was pretty excited to goof off in a waterpark all day long. We’d last visited Typhoon Lagoon during our surprise trip in 2012—that was the day
I abandoned my daughter in a pool full of sharks. But everyone seemed to have recovered enough over the following years that they were willing to give it another go.
We had some time to kill before the park opened (at 10:00 a.m.), so we decided to give Drew a Disney ride he was sure to love: we drove to Epcot to give him a spin on the monorail.
They were re-paving the Epcot parking lot at the time so we ended up having to park a good distance away from the entrance. When we arrived at the gates, we had to go through the security line, which thankfully was much shorter than the line receiving those who had arrived via the buses and monorail. Seems like a good time to make a mental note for the future, because that other security line was insanely long.
Having determined that we posed no danger to the public at large (Heh, suckers!), they let us through and we headed up the ramps to the monorail station.
Drew was the perfect age to fall in love with the Disney monorail. I think every little boy does.
He was pretty quiet through most of the ride, actually. I think it was one of those circumstances where he might have been a little overwhelmed (I’M RIDING A MONORAIL!!!) and was taking it all in.
I mean, look at the sheer joy on this face!
Ok, I don’t recall what that was about. At some point, he switched seats and might have been upset that somebody else was in the seat he wanted or something. I’m sure it was important. Anyway, if you ask him now, he’ll tell you that the monorail is his favorite ride at Disney World.
He also likes running through wide-open spaces.
I don’t like running at all, so instead of chasing him, I go with the futile Half-Hearted Yelling After Him technique. It doesn’t work well.
Now it was time for the main event.
In my opinion, Typhoon Lagoon is better than Blizzard Beach. This mostly has to do with the main attraction. Typhoon Lagoon has the Crush 'n Gusher, a fantastic water coaster, while Blizzard Beach has the Summit Plummet--a long slide with a huge drop, straight down. Considering how much I hate drops on roller coasters, this is kind of a no-brainer for me. But given the lines I typically see for the Summit Plummet, I don't get the value of waiting 30-60 minutes in line for what is essentially a 4-second slide.
Another reason I prefer Typhoon Lagoon is the theme--the lush tropical theme is gorgeous here. Whereas all the fake snow at Blizzard Beach is a neat idea for a story, but the reflection of the sun can make it hurt your eyes after a while.
We got there right when the park opened, so we had no trouble renting lockers, getting changed into swim suits, and finding a couple of lounge chairs on which to leave our towels, etc. It appeared that the Rope Drop technique was back in working order.
For our first order of business, we decided to tackle Miss Adventure Falls. This was the newest attraction at Typhoon Lagoon, so we’d figured it would probably attract the longest line. And indeed, there was already a line when we got there, but it only took us about 15-20 minutes to get to the front.
Miss Adventure Falls is a family raft ride, although they can only put 4 adults in the raft at a time so we had to take 2 rafts. The slide is the longest waterslide in Disney. Our question was, how would Drew react? Would he love it, or get freaked out?
As it turns out, it’s a really fun waterslide. As you can see from the photo, Disney FINALLY learned to have a lift system so they don’t have to force people to carry their own rafts up the stairs to the top of the slide, a problem that plagues the other slides here.
Drew looked worried as we went over the edge and into a tunnel at the top. But this is where peer pressure can be a good thing. His older siblings made a big show of laughing and giggling the whole way down, and by the end Drew was laughing and giggling, too. Best of all, he was asking to do it again. So, we obliged.
After that, we split up. Julie is not huge on waterparks or swimming, so she volunteered to take Drew to the kids’ swim area and spend the day with him. I took one for the team and accompanied the older kids to the Crush ‘n Gusher, where we spent the next couple of hours.
Here’s a better photo from 2012. I like the theme, especially the farm tractor stranded on the roof.
For my money, the Crush ‘n Gusher is the best attraction in the waterpark. It’s a “water coaster”, which is a waterslide on steroids. The basic difference is that not only do you have water carrying you downhill at fast speeds on the slide, but there are uphill sections with jets of water that send you flying back up as well. It’s awesome. There are three separate slides here, all relatively the same, and we kept going back and riding them over and over again. We all had a great time.
Meanwhile, Drew had a blast of his own in the kiddie area. He tried out everything. Julie said he went on the kids’ little raft slide at least 20-30 times.
She even got him to take a spin all the way around the lazy river. Pretty sure they hated it.
We had PB&J sandwiches at our lounge chairs for lunch and then took another couple of spins on Miss Adventure Falls. Then Julie took Drew back to the kiddie pool while the big kids and I took on the giant wave pool.
This is the other big attraction at Typhoon Lagoon. Every 90 seconds, the machine generates a massive 6-foot wave so guests in the pool can “bodysurf”, by which I mean the wave mows down everything in its path and you’re left to gag on pool water and untangle yourself from the mass of bodies left in its wake. It’s really fun—and yes, I mean that.
Here’s another, better photo from 2012:
Pro tip: wear water shoes in the wave pool. The floor is rough concrete, and it’ll tear you up something fierce if you’re not ready for it.
We spent a good deal of time here, too, just trying different versions of riding/getting mowed down/diving under the huge waves. It runs like clockwork throughout the day. You hear lots of people splashing around, then a big WHOMP as the wave is activated, followed by screams of delight/terror. Every 90 seconds. At one point, I had the kids move back, and then as the big wave came I turned my back to it and spread my arms out, King Of The World-style, and let it completely wipe me out. They seemed to get a kick out of that for some reason.
They’d closed the Swim With Sharks attraction a while back, so I didn’t get another chance to abandon my kids there. We did go over to the Storm Slides for a bit—these are just regular body slides, no raft required. But most of our time was spent between the wave pool, Miss Adventure Falls, and the Crush ‘n Gusher. We had no regrets.
I think the waterpark is exactly what we needed at that point of the trip. We’d been driving for so long, and the weather had been typically hot and humid for two straight weeks. A day to goof off and enjoy Disney was incredibly refreshing. I’m pretty sure this was everyone’s favorite day of the trip.
We got dressed in the late afternoon and made the short trip over to Disney Springs (which I still keep occasionally calling Downtown Disney). Most of the refurbishment is done at this point, and in my opinion, it looks a lot classier than the previous hodgepodge of shops and restaurants. It’s still a hodgepodge of shops and restaurants, but at least now they all look like they belong together.
We tried out
Art Smith’s Homecomin’ for dinner that evening. There was no way I was going to avoid this place—the menu is pure comfort food. I couldn’t resist the siren call of Deep-Fried Everything.
We’d heard great things about the fried chicken here, so that was what everyone zeroed in on when it came time to order. In particular, they had a dish called “fried chicken and donuts”, which could have been re-named “The Captain Oblivious”. We ordered that, plus a regular fried chicken platter so we could try their mashed taters and cheddar drop biscuits. We also subbed out a mashed potato order for some skillet mac-and-cheese.
We thought everything was outstanding. I don’t know if the fried chicken was quite as good as 50’s Prime Time, but you can see in the first photo a cup of pepper gravy they gave us to dip it in. There was also some homemade hot sauce on the table. Both of these added to the chicken immensely. The mac-and-cheese was also great—much better than the mashed potatoes. All in all, we really enjoyed our meal here. I’d go back anytime.
We had one more order of business for the day. We drove back to Fort Wilderness and hopped on an internal bus to the Meadow Trading Post.
Note: if you stay at Fort Wilderness, it helps to have your own car. Otherwise you have to rely on two bus systems (both the regular Disney bus system and the internal campground system) to get anywhere, and it can take forever. So it was nice having our van available.
The campground hosts a nightly campfire and Sing-Along with Chip & Dale next to the Trading Post. The show lasts about a half-hour and is usually followed by a movie. You can bring your own hot dogs or s’mores to roast at the fire, or you can get supplies from Disney for $54.95 or so.
As always, Disney theming is top-notch. I had no idea they had gotten into the Essential Oils business.
The singer came out first, played a tune, and then introduced the stars of the show.
Like I said, it went on for about 30 minutes or so. I can’t even remember any of the songs they played, but I know everyone had a good time. At the end, Chip & Dale came around to greet the guests. We were happy to see that Drew had no hesitation in going up to meet Chip. Another Disney test passed.
The only downside? Our little Disney retreat was already over.
Coming Up Next: One final DIS Meet on the long road back home.