Traveling Companions From Hell

I have a trip coming up this August for my 50th. Friends are flying down for the weekend help me celebrate. I'm taking everyone to Jiko's for dinner on my birthday. Most people are only coming for the weekend, but we're staying for a week.

I have tried to avoid all conflict with this trip. I told people that they were free to do whatever they liked. The only plans that have been made are for dinner on my birthday.

I told folks that they were welcome to come with us to the parks, or go off to the parks of their choice. There is no obligation for us to stay together as a pack.

We're staying at VWL, I've told everyone they can stay where they like, on-site or off-site.

So far, it all seems to be going well. Ten adults coming, no complaints. No one feels obligated to do anything they don't want to do.

We'll see what I have to report back after the trip.
 
One of the hardest things to find are folks you can travel with. We got very lucky and have 2 couples we can travel around the world with and no problems but before them, OMG!!! There is one couple we know is just like the folks the OP talked about, never stopped, day after day. WHAT A PAIN!!!...I would rather slam my hand in a truck door then go through some of those trips again...
 
Bracho said:
One of the hardest things to find are folks you can travel with. We got very lucky and have 2 couples we can travel around the world with and no problems but before them, OMG!!! There is one couple we know is just like the folks the OP talked about, never stopped, day after day. WHAT A PAIN!!!...I would rather slam my hand in a truck door then go through some of those trips again...
Boy do I knot THAT! We have traveled with a lot of different couples. Some are so easy and some are so difficult. We don't invite the difficult ones back! We have one couple that really wants to come with us some time, but we have traveled with them before, and while the hubby is no problem, the wife is one of those people who has to control everything! I just know we would not be able to go to the restaurants we wanted or do anything at the parks that would appeal to everyone with her around. She is also not the type to let everyone go seperate ways either, so we are not likely to bite on her hints to come along.
 
We have taken MIL and FIL twice for Thanksgiving. Both trips went well, but I think that we've decided that we probably won't invite them again. They worry alot about money, and even though we provide the accommodations, transportation, some of the tickets, and groceries, we feel like they are worrying constantly about how much things cost. This makes me stress about how much things cost, which is not normal for me while I am at WDW. Also, while they LIKE WDW, they don't LOVE it like we do. I think that they generally enjoyed these trips, but would have been just as happy to come and stay with us at home for the weekend.

On the other hand, we did a quick trip to Universal last winter with some friends. The friends are not planners, their DD is a bit "difficult," and I was really worried about the trip. To make matters worse, I had a last minute work thing come up, which meant that everyone else went down a day earlier than I did. My friend took it all in stride, said "Just send me the spreadsheet, so I know where I'm supposed to be" (I put all my plans in a spreadsheet for every vacation that we take, DH thinks I'm bonkers), and everything went smoothly. I was so happy, that we will probably travel with this family again.
 
Posted my January 2004 trip report way back when. Thought it might be appropriate to this thread, so here's my cut and paste:

SleepyatDVC said:
We first spent the first 8 nights in an OKW GV and a studio split between 7 adults and 6 kids, 5 and under(1/11 - 1/19/04) DH's parents, brother and sister and their families.

My friends from Miami came up with their 2 boys for 5 nights over the long weekend and I reserved another studio for them. We were all in the same building. Unfortunately, except for one breakfast and 1/2 a day at the MK, we didn't get to see them much. One of their boys came down with a fever and they decided to quarrantine their kids from our group of 6 kids, just in case.

The GV was very nice. There were a few maintenance problems that were fixed almost immediately after a quick call to maintenance. Didn't know they were open until midnight until I had to call at 10:30pm one night (expected to leave a message) to report a sudden and serious leak under the kitchen sink.

It was a family reunion to celebrate my DD's 5th birthday. It was NOT a relaxing trip. DH and I have decided NEVER to invite any of his family again. The kids had a good time. But everyone else got on DH's nerves and to a lesser degree on mine. DH does NOT enjoy spending time with his immediate family, which is funny because he really enjoys spending time with all his uncles and aunt and their families. But since we had never vacationed with his siblings before and he thought to give it a chance for the sake of the kids who are all cousins.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a disaster or anything. But our collective personalities don't gel to well. Different priorities and vacationing styles too. Except for DH's parents, none of his siblings or their kids have ever been before. It took them forever to get out the door in the mornings or for our one dinner out. They got to the parks when the kids were already tired and ready for naps and had to stop every hour for snacks and breaks. After spending one park day with them (for the kids), we ditched them at AK on the next park day to get back to the room early.

Not to mention that DH's parents are currently on our bad side. (A business matter with MY family.) But we didn't let any of this pop up during the trip for the sake of the kids. It was almost funny to see his parents walk on egg shells around DH. I could visually see his Mom bite her tongue and refrain from arguing with DH. It's funny because DH and his Mom ALWAYS argue when they are around each other and usually about stupid, unimportant things. He says it's just a habit. She knew that it wouldn't take much to set DH off since he was upset at his parents already before the trip.

In any case, the kids had fun. My now 5 yo DD was in birthday heaven. She got birthday balloons with autographed pictures on different days from Cinderella, Snow White and Mickey Mouse from the OKW CMs. We had her birthday breakfast at Chef Mickey's (our treat for 17 people) and spent a few hours over at the MK where she got to pick 3 or 4 things/rides to do. Btw, DH's family was 30 mins late and we almost lost our table. We drove over first since we got tired of waiting for them to get out of the house. We gave them driving directions.

She then had a princess themed birthday party at the GV the next day on Saturday. DH and his brother decorated the villa with streamers. I ordered a Disney Princess Cake from publix - chocolate, as she requested. The 2 SIL's took the kids over to HH to get some balloons. They made princess coned hats and other arts and crafts.

We had one sit-down dinner out at the Flying Fish to "celebrate" DH's parents' wedding anniversary. They all knew the time of the PS which I had to secure with my credit card, and yet all took their sweet time getting there. We left them to go ahead to check in and to get pre-approval from the manager to use my DDE card discount for a group of 13. They were kind enough to sit us immediately even though only 4 out of 13 of our party was there.

This time, they were all 45 minutes late. The waiter and staff at FF were great about it. When it was time to pay the bill, we found out that DH's brother had already charged it to his credit card. Not because he was paying (we had agreed to split the meal to treat the parents) but because he got rewards on his card! :rolleyes: HELLO?!! I get 20% off with my DDE card which we had told him about earlier. I asked our waiter and he was happy to reverse the charges in order to apply the discount. However, it took about 30 minutes to accomplish.

While we were waiting, we examined the old bill to discover that his brother had originally only tipped 2 times the sales tax! (13%) His sister and DH told him since he insisted on using his card, to at least tip the full 20% discount. DH and his brother almost got into an argument over the tip amount with DH calling BIL a cheapskate under his breath. I slipped some extra $$$ into the payment folder as we were leaving to solve that problem. Our waiter was excellent even when he thought he was only getting 13% when he was gracious enough to NOT tack on the usual 15% gratuities that they charge parties over 8 people.

Well, we moved to unit 6224 (one bedroom) after DH's family were gone. My aunt and her kids joined us and were next door in unit 6223 (2 bedrrom) on her own DVC points. We were there from 1/19/04 - 1/23/04. As I mentioned before, I really enjoyed this unit. Not one problem to report.

It was so relaxing. Our girls slept in the LR sofa bed and we finally got the master bed to ourselves. They had slept with us in the king bed in the GV because we didn't want anyone in the living room. Besides, they probably wouldn't have slept outside anyways - too many people and distractions.

My kids actually enjoyed playing with my young cousins, ages ranging from 4 to 16, more than with their own cousins. They are obviously, Disney seasoned travelers like us.

After 4 relaxing days at OKW, we decided not to stop by DH's brother's house in NC on the way home. Younger daughter developed a fever that we didn't want to expose his kids to and DH really didn't want to see his family again, much less sleep under their roof. So, we wound up driving 19 hours straight through to NYC!

SleepyatDVC said:
I'm all out of points until 12/04.

We used 608 points for this last trip. Sniff... it was worth it and I wouldn't change anything. But... I wouldn't want to do it again... with the same people.

My friends who I didn't get to see are buying into DVC!!! Even though we hardly saw them, they kept apologizing about their son being sick (as if they had any control over that) and thanking us for inviting them (it wasn't that many points to me).

My MIL and BIL did go on the DVC tour to get the free meal vouchers they were giving out and probably to find out "how much we spent on the timeshare and the trip." So, I guess they did have an idea about the costs.

Despite that, we didn't feel or hear the thanks from DH's family. I did hear some compliments about the GV, a comment about "this must have cost you guys a bundle," from MIL and one "thanks for inviting us" from BIL's wife as they were heading out the door to go home. But who's counting? O'kay, I admit it, I was! :o A teeny appreciation would go a LONG way.

But that's o'kay. To be honest, we only wanted to invite the kids anyways! But there was no way to do that without inviting the grown ups too! :p

Gotta wait for those points to come in at the end of the year...


An update on the in-laws situation and a bit more behind the scenes:

We didn't stop in NC to visit DH's brother and family when we drove to/from WDW this past April. :rolleyes1 We will see them soon when they come up to NYC to visit.

We no longer tell the in-laws when we plan our Disney trips. If they hear about it and ask, we smile and answer "yes, we are going down" and do not offer any other details.

As for DH's parents, the business problem with my family has since been resoved. My parents have let it go and learned their lesson. I am extremely polite to them but never initate converstions or calls to them anymore - "forgiven" because of the kids but not forgotten. But, unfortunately, DH is still bitter. He's no longer boiling mad but instead frigid cold. This is a shame because they are his parents after all. His feeling is that they can scr*w me or my parents (we are not actually family) but when they do that to him it's a whole different story. Apparently he had a conversation with his dad who he found out later flat out lied to him - BIG disillusionment for DH. :sad2: He never got along too well with his Mom but he always respected his dad.

One other major thing that made for an uncomfortable trip back in January trip was that DH's family actually talked about us behind our backs. I had no clue about this since I was so busy with the kids but DH overheard them talking and heard something not too nice about me on one occasion.

He didn't want to tell me but had trouble sleeping the second night of the trip and kept saying how he wanted to kick all of them out of there. I coudn't figure out what set him off because we weren't crazy about his parents before the trip and actually got them a separate studio because I refused to sleep with them under one roof. But we knew the situation before hand and had agreed be polite to his parents and to put all that aside during the trip for the kids. Everyone was polite and the kids were all enjoying themselves so I couldn't figure out why DH was so angry - especially with his siblings.

I finally pulled everything out of him that night in order to get him calmed down. He was livid with his siblings (and his parents) not only for the little things I mentioned in my trip report but because they had the nerve to talk about us and listened to the parents critcize them/ME under our "roof" on our dime.

I convinced him to calm down and just get through the next week and they will be gone and we can enjoy ourselves. I told them to ignore the adults and just enjoy the kids. We have learned our lesson and won't ever do this again.

So, while everyone seemed to have a good time - especially the kids - beneath the polite surface was a cauldron of tension and boiling emotion. It was a trip that I will always remember for the good and the BAD.
 
Funny that your husband wanted to kick some folks out. We actually did on the last morning. DH and I had had enough! I won't go into details. We kicked DH's Brother and girlfriend out at 6:00 am. By 7:00 am the fur was flying with DH's step brother and wife and my in-laws. I am now the favorite D in-law. Then, the in-laws had to go too. We were tired of everyone and wanted our last two days to be calm and fun. Guess what? The last two days were great! Live and learn and realize you won't be WASTING precious points on these folks again. NEVER AGAIN! :banana:
 
kaw1106 said:
I am truly frightened :scared1:

We just invited my inlaws down.

Do your best to communicate NOW and most of your issues will never become issues. Hope your trip is wonderful.
 
LLovell,
I will take that to heart and address issues right now, I will also bring duct tape and if they get out of hand I will just tie them up and throw them in the closet :rolleyes:
 
kaw1106 said:
LLovell,
I will take that to heart and address issues right now, I will also bring duct tape and if they get out of hand I will just tie them up and throw them in the closet :rolleyes:


lol - now THAT is planning!!!
 
kaw1106 said:
LLovell,
I will take that to heart and address issues right now, I will also bring duct tape and if they get out of hand I will just tie them up and throw them in the closet :rolleyes:

Very wise....vaseline keeps it from tearing the skin, if you still like them that much by the time you need to tape.

Really, you know your in laws. Think about what you expect the problems to be, then come up with a plan to address them. Sometimes people post about taking someone who "always backs out" "can't plan ahead" and are "broke." There are ways to deal with this (that describes my MIL and we had a good time) but if you don't think about it, of course you are going to have a vacation from hell. Be honest "I know you like to sleep in and we will drive you crazy with our early mornings, lets meet every day when you get to the parks - bring your cellphone." (OK, not really honest, really honest is "I know you guys are lazy slobs who will hold us up by not getting into the shower until 11:00, so we are leaving without you and you can catch up later.")

Granted, you can't forsee everything but think ahead a little.
 
When we travel, with or without another family, we like to start with a discussion of "ground rules." These are NOT laws that we lay down for everyone else to follow. Instead they're mutually-agreed on rules that emerge from the discussion and that seem to change a bit for every trip. If you like to go to the parks early and the other party doesn't, then discuss your way to a ground rule that makes both parties comfortable. Clarify who will pay for what. And let the children have a say, too. They might surprise you with good suggestions. A properly-managed ground rules discussion leaves everyone with a sense of agreement, a feeling of having bought into each others' needs and comforts, and a nice measure of warm fuzzies.

Um, well, and if these are people who wouldn't tolerate or respect that kind of discussion, then RUN AWAY!!
 
Yes, I think the biggest ground rule is I am the boss, I control everything, everyone MUST listen to me. :teeth:

That will work, won't it????
 
kaw1106 said:
Yes, I think the biggest ground rule is I am the boss, I control everything, everyone MUST listen to me. :teeth:

That will work, won't it????

The best trip we have taken with another couple, they said "we don't know Disney. You do. You plan and we will follow along." and they meant it. We had down time and away time, but it worked out fantastically. I didn't push hard, we took small child breaks, but we saw so much and were there during busy spring break.

It can be done I say!
 
lllovell said:
The best trip we have taken with another couple, they said "we don't know Disney. You do. You plan and we will follow along."
That's exactly the sort of thing that can emerge unexpectedly from a ground rules discussion. This rule was perfect for this group at this time, and that's all that matters.
 
kaw1106 said:
Yes, I think the biggest ground rule is I am the boss, I control everything, everyone MUST listen to me. :teeth:

That will work, won't it????


Absolutely!

Exactly like how that rule works on our kids! Which is why some like me seem to run into trouble! :rotfl2:
 
We have traveled with friends off and on for various types of vacations, mostly ski. This usually involves a large 4-5 BR condo. There's one guy that won't help, plans stuff for himself and doesn't want to include anyone -- it seems. He'll just go off by himself, bring one or two of his kids if it suits him, and not say a thing. He'll just be gone. So that's what I expect. It's not so bad. I've learned not to wait for him. He's not fun to travel with.

There's another couple where the wife will say "Well, I was thinking we could all ..." And she expects us all to follow her plan. That's more of a problem because she likes to sit around and not do much. And then go out to eat. And you can tell that by looking at her kids. She always says it with a smile, and they're the nicest people. But now when we travel with them, we tell them what we're gonna do and schedule a few times to get together for sure. And if we do other stuff together, that's great but not expected.

I think that's the best way to travel with people. Schedule a few times to get together. Otherwise you're free. If spontaneous stuff occurs, chalk it up to "magic." Don't share lodging unless you're prepared for some %&%@(* and to do what the other family expects -- because you'll probably have to.

I prefer travelling just with my immediate family. Time's to short. I want to spend it with MY family.
 
What I find funny is we love travelling with my In Laws with the exception of my wifes BIL he can be a stick in the mud and is always concerned with the cost of everything. My family on the other hand is a pain in the well you know what I am talking about. My dad goes on and on about money and my oldest sister sitll younger than me has no respect for anyone and yells and screams over the stupidest little thing especially with my youngest sister and our little brother. They are like a circus but not a good one LOL. My youngest sister and my little brother love Disney and would do anything just to go but the rest of them man I want to tie them up and dump them in 7 seas lagoon after just an hour of being with them.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!













facebook twitter
Top