Turning 30! And I'm fat...but not for long!

[Wonders10]

Hi everyone!

I think I started a WISH journal a couple years ago, but obviously since I'm starting a new one right now I didn't have much success. In fact, I've probably gained weight since then. Basically some brief weight history...

I've been chubby my entire life. I started my senior year of high school at my biggest weight. Now I can't remember exactly but I think it was somewhere around 160-165? And I'm 5'3". By graduation day - actually a few weeks prior to that, I was at my goal weight of 130 and would be called thin by anyone who looked at me. It came off easily and stayed off the entire summer until I went to college. Ahh the freshman 15. My skinny friends and I would order pizza and breadsticks at midnight. I drank chocolate milk by the gallon in the dining hall. The only thing saving me was how semi-active I was but I did manage to gain back a good 10-15 lbs by summer. I lost a little over the summer before returning to school, but over the next 3 years I did steadily gain and at my college graduation I was around 170. And then I graduated, started my life and started on a roller coaster. I'd lose 10, then gain it back, and so on and so forth. For about the past year or so I have been at my highest weights ever. I've surpassed the 200 lbs mark. I haven't weighed myself in 2 weeks, but I want to say it is around 210, give or take a couple pounds.

So that's my story. I will be turning 30 at the end of May and I do not want to be this weight for that day. Turning 30 is freaking me out as it is. I know I won't be at my goal by then but I know I could make a good dent in my weight loss in the next 2 1/2 months.

Stay tuned for more updates...

 

[Wonders10]

My 2nd journal post!

My weight loss plan of choice is Weight Watchers. Basically because I know the program like the back of my hand, it is what I did when I first lost my weight in high school, and I feel the least deprivation with food. I do binge occasionally. I will get 2 value meals at a fast food place or a pint of ice cream and sit and eat the entire thing. I’m a complete emotional eater. I eat when I’m happy, sad, bored, tired, angry, stressed, etc. I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of how I look, my eating habits, all of it. I just don’t know why I can’t stay focused and motivated to get past a couple weeks “on program” or sometimes I can’t even get through a full day without blowing it. I know one meal won’t ruin everything, but if you have one bad meal a day, you will not lost weight.

I am a speech pathologist in the school system in Florida. My spring break is coming up and my mom and I are going on a 7-day cruise. I’m sooooo excited. I’m probably more ready for spring break than the students. I’ve been attempting to lose weight for over a month and I lost 5 lbs and gained it all back. Super! I have 3 weeks left and I bet I could lose some, to at least feel lighter, have less of a pooch and less bloat and stuff. So my plan for the next 3 weeks is to stop WW for a little bit and move to calorie counting. I’m going to eat 1200 cals a day. I rarely if at all exercise and I know I should but I work a 2nd job doing private therapy after school and then I have to come home and deal with “home stuff” so I just don’t. That is an excuse I know, but one thing at a time. If I can get my food under control for awhile, I’ll start figuring out how to get more workouts in. I am going to try to workout Friday-Sunday since I’m not working those days. Once I go grocery shopping and get my actual plan going, I may start posting some of my meals. Probably not everyday but every couple days just so others can see what I’m eating.

If you are reading and have words of wisdom, motivation and/or encouragement, please share! Thanks for reading!