What would you do

[gmar1210]

"The rule" is someone is supposed to quote the first post just in case the OP comes back and makes material changes. It comes in handy sometimes, especially with controversial topics.

Regarding the actual substance, aside from the confederate flag, I wouldn't know what the other flags are regarding. That being said, I totally get not letting your child play over there. However, what about having the other girl meet at a playground or come to your house? Before everyone gets all up in arms, these kids are pre-K. Wouldn't it be good for the other girl to learn that those different than them aren't that different after all (ok, that sentence makes sense in my head)?

Like someone else mentioned if these 2 become good friends, then there could be play dates/dinners/parties/get togethers/etc. I really don’t want it to get that far. The problem is that she keeps asking to go to her home.
It is sad though. Meeting the wife, you would Have never known what the husband was up to. Maybe the wife has no choice but to deal with that mess.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I’ll admit, I had to look up the other 2 things as I had no idea.

Same here.

Rule??

(Someone answered before I finished typing.)


OP, I would definitely not let my child play there!

I would be OK with them playing at the playground, as I agree that it would be good for the other girl - but setting my kid up to help another kid only extends so far my own kid is still safe.

Eventually, if they become close in school (I wouldn't go out of my way to make this happen, but it might on it's own) I would probably allow supervised play at my house.

 

[L&Lfan]

"The Rule" is to quote a controversial post so that if the OP deletes it we can still see what it was about. This is usually done for controversial things.

EDIT: Beat me to it, @sam_gordon!

Oh, I get it! Like the dude and his old mother who refused to walk on their side of the path. He kept changing his story!

 

[china mom]

"The rule" is someone is supposed to quote the first post just in case the OP comes back and makes material changes. It comes in handy sometimes, especially with controversial topics.

Regarding the actual substance, aside from the confederate flag, I wouldn't know what the other flags are regarding. That being said, I totally get not letting your child play over there. However, what about having the other girl meet at a playground or come to your house? Before everyone gets all up in arms, these kids are pre-K. Wouldn't it be good for the other girl to learn that those different than them aren't that different after all (ok, that sentence makes sense in my head)?

Philosophically, I agree with this. Show this child that there are more similarities than differences. Teach her that people of all colors, creeds, religions and traditions can be worth knowing and respecting. But, in reality, my first job as a parent of a child of a different race, is to protect my child from harm - physical and emotional. If she one day wants to be an ambassador for the Asian race, I will be so incredibly proud of her but to use her to educate the world is not fair to her.

 

[Hikergirl]

Like someone else mentioned if these 2 become good friends, then there could be play dates/dinners/parties/get togethers/etc. I really don’t want it to get that far. The problem is that she keeps asking to go to her home.
It is sad though. Meeting the wife, you would Have never known what the husband was up to. Maybe the wife has no choice but to deal with that mess.

Tell her no. If she asks why tell her because you don't know the family well enough.
SInce they aren't in school yet don't worry about any of that yet.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Hrm. Um. Huh.

I mean, maybe the two of them can play together outside or at your house or something? You can indoctrinate her into the "not white supremacist" club.

 

[Southernmiss]

It should be easy enough to distract a preschool child. 'Maybe another day. Today we're running errands, going to the park, visiting Grandma, etc' rinse and repeat

 

[kimblebee]

I’d go fishing

 

[Kitty 34]

Rule??

People come here all the time and post a WWYD type of thread and often after a bit they leave and delete their initial thread wording leaving other DISers wondering what the heck is going on. So years ago someone called it a "rule" to at least quote the beginning thread. That's all....carry on.


Sorry guys...didn't read ahead to see others had already answered the rule.

 

[gotomu212]

So my daughter met another girl at the park the other day. They are both the same age and most likely will be going to kindergarten together next year. They played great and the mother seemed really nice. Well this morning my wife was going for a walk with my daughter. My daughter noticed the little girl from the other day and yelled for her. My wife walked her over to the home so they can play. Their garage was open and the mother was gardening. Inside the garage was a confederate flag, a storm front flag and a big poster that said 14/88. My wife pulled my daughter immediately out of there (she knew was the confederate flag was about but no idea what those other 2 things meant). Thankfully she snapped a pic with her phone to show me.

we really don’t want my daughter associating with them any more. We are Hispanic and this stuff really scares us but the girls really like each other. Should I just not bring my daughter around anymore or allow them to play. I never met the husband but the wife seems really nice.

For those unaware stormfront and especially 1488 are neo-nazi, extreme white supremacy symbols. They literally idolize Hitler and think purifying populations should be done. Racism of any kind is disgusting but these are the worst of the worst on that spectrum.
So if your question is should I let my daughter play with the daughter of a neo-nazi my answer would be a very hard no.

 

[Disneylover99]

Like someone else mentioned if these 2 become good friends, then there could be play dates/dinners/parties/get togethers/etc. I really don’t want it to get that far. The problem is that she keeps asking to go to her home.
It is sad though. Meeting the wife, you would Have never known what the husband was up to. Maybe the wife has no choice but to deal with that mess.

And maybe those flags belong to the wife.

 

[fly girl]

Like someone else mentioned if these 2 become good friends, then there could be play dates/dinners/parties/get togethers/etc. I really don’t want it to get that far. The problem is that she keeps asking to go to her home.
It is sad though. Meeting the wife, you would Have never known what the husband was up to. Maybe the wife has no choice but to deal with that mess.

She has a choice.

Most racists have been that way because that is how they were taught. So it is very likely she knew when she was dating him, he was a racist. Even if it was a sudden change, I can't imagine her just tolerating something as heinous as that, unless she is a racist too. I feel sick for that child. That baby will learn hate, and it breaks my heart.

If it were me, I'd be out with my kid in tow.

 

[PRINCESS Sweet Pea]

This is really something! I am like the person just above. I would not try to have anything much to do with them. If the girls are in the same neighborhood and might go thru school together, then what happens between them happens between them. But, nope, I would try to avoid this whole thing as much as possible right now, and then see what happens when they start school. Which kids become BFF in school might be a whole different story!

 

[Julie's Haircut]

Inside the garage was a confederate flag, a storm front flag and a big poster that said 14/88. My wife pulled my daughter immediately out of there (she knew was the confederate flag was about but no idea what those other 2 things meant). Thankfully she snapped a pic with her phone to show me.

Print up flyers of the photo listing their home address and post them in local supermarkets and other places.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I’d go fishing

While I was casting my line, it would give me time to think. It wouldn't take long for me to realize I should do what I was comfortable with rather than asking people on a message board expecting, maybe even hoping for, a controversial discussion.

If nothing else, the post has made sure white supremacist have gotten more attention. I'm sure they'd be happy to know about all the searches the post has sparked.

 

[wenrob]

Philosophically, I agree with this. Show this child that there are more similarities than differences. Teach her that people of all colors, creeds, religions and traditions can be worth knowing and respecting. But, in reality, my first job as a parent of a child of a different race, is to protect my child from harm - physical and emotional. If she one day wants to be an ambassador for the Asian race, I will be so incredibly proud of her but to use her to educate the world is not fair to her.

These are my thoughts.

I’d go fishing

Indeed.

She has a choice.

Most racists have been that way because that is how they were taught. So it is very likely she knew when she was dating him, he was a racist. Even if it was a sudden change, I can't imagine her just tolerating something as heinous as that, unless she is a racist too. I feel sick for that child. That baby will learn hate, and it breaks my heart.

If it were me, I'd be out with my kid in tow.

You would think that if someone was *that* blatantly racist and/or their spouse was, there would be no way they’d let their child play with a child from another race. At the very least if the wife wasn’t she’d have to know that her spouse would be enraged she would let his child play with her and come into their home. I’ve never known a racist that didn’t show their true colors in about 2.5 seconds.

In any case there would be no play dates with my kid.

 

[mnrose]

That would be a hard NO from me. Sorry, I DO judge people on whether they are racist pieces of crap. And any one who would display these things is either (a) very ignorant (and willfully so) or (b) racist. Done. I'm out of that one.

 

[RogueX]

Well, that is an interesting situation to say the least. 14/88 is a reference used by White Supremacists (88 direct to Heil Hitler).

As for your daughter, if she's friends with the other girl and they see each other at school, perhaps limit their interactions to just at school. Yes, there's truth in that thoughts of prejudice and hate are taught down the line, as are love and acceptance. Should your daughter experience anything hateful from the other little girl, another child or worse, an adult in the family, then that would definitely be a point to break off a friendship.

 

[DoveOfPeace]

I heard of 1488 but I also had to google the meaning. Very scary, especially in our neighborhood where there are many families that are mixed race.

I hadn't heard of 14/88 but a quick Google search left me VERY uncomfortable

 

[Buckeye218]

I know nothing of 14/88 or Stormfront other than what's posted in this thread, so yeah I'd stay away from that.

I was born in the North, so I'm not a southerner, but without the other two flags, I'd have no problem letting my kids be friends with a family who flies the Confederate flag. Not my cup of tea, but it is definitely not inherently racist. The symbol has been hijacked in recent years to mean something that it was not originally intended and is now being used as a lightning rod to divide people.