Where do you want to retire? Migrate to?

[disykat]

We'll stay where we are for a while. Then our plan is to be out of our house and settled near one of the kids by my mid 70s (I'm older than dh.) Lately we've been thinking maybe we'll do something in between in our ealy 70s. Sell, then rent somewhere on the coast for a year or two before settling near the kids with future plans for leveled care as needed.

My life would have been so much easier if my parents would have been willing to move, so we are planning accordingly for our kids. ( they started having health issues in their mid 70s and I had an 8 hour commute each way at varying frequencies according to their needs until dad passed at 90 and we were able to move mom near me.)

 

[ChrisFL]

If I was independently wealthy and could fully read/write Japanese, I would love to move to Japan.

I wouldn't want to have to work for another Japanese company and their work structure, but if I could afford to buy my own house, etc. without having to work, it would be great.

 

[AlohaNow]

I find it intriguing to see so many comments of people saying they are going to retire wherever their kids are. if you have more than 1 child, how do you pick which one to follow? If they move after you follow them, will you follow them again?

Same. I don't get it. We've raised our kids with the idea that they can go anywhere and do anything they want in life. My oldest just moved overseas and frankly I hope it is just the first of many international living experiences that he will have! We ourselves plan to make an international excursion, living/working overseas for a time before we actually retire. Our kids know this, and know to not pick a college based on our current location, because we'll be gone from here in a few years.

For anyone considering Hawaii in retirement, which includes us: Everything in life is choices. If you make the choice to move to Hawaii you will find a way to make it work. Just like with your budget presently, you make choices every day to get the things that you want that are important to you. We absolutely loved living on Oahu and DH always talks about retiring there. We just have to get the real estate part right and beyond that we know we could make it work again!

 

[evilmommie]

We split our time between N AZ, So Cal and the Gulf Shores of AL. Semi-retired. We'll see if we land in one particular spot in a few years.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would not mind staying right where I am... maybe travel more, but for home I would rather stay right here.

 

[dvcgirl67]

We're about 4-5 years out, and we plan on traveling a lot early on to see how that feels. We're thinking six month short term rentals...moving from one place to the next. We want to use the next 4-5 years to vacation in potential spots that we may want to visit for longer periods once we "retire". We're visiting Los Cabos Mexico again for the third time in a few months. And we're heading to Guanacaste, Costa Rica to vacation in December. Other spots we plan to vacation while we research potential areas for longer stays: Sicily (my husband's family emigrated from here, and DH is 3/4 of the way through the dual citizenship process with Italy). Portugal. Croatia. New Zealand and Australia. Spain as well. When we're in those regions, we'll likely learn more about neighboring countries that are favorable for ex-pats.

That's to start....but we're thinking ahead now, in our early 50s, to when we'll be later 50s and retiring....and traveling. Lots of research to do, but tons of resources out there to help us navigate the journey. We'd like to do this in the first 10 years or so of our retirement years while we're still fit and healthy enough to do so.

 

[NotUrsula]

Close-to-coastal Florida *was* the plan, but if prices don't eventually come down I'm not sure that will happen. (Annoys me no end, because I was planning on frequent fishing to help reduce our grocery costs.) We would love to travel more internationally, but that also probably won't happen much, because we've turned 60 but we still have a HS freshman at home. (I figure by the time we get out from under her education costs we will be lucky to still be alive, let alone healthy enough for extensive travel.)

I do have dual EU citizenship, so retiring in Europe is a tempting proposition, because of nationalized health care.

 

[adkkev]

We’ve been retired for the past three years and we’re staying put here in upstate New York. We enjoy winter and so the snowy and cold winters don’t bother us. Summers are nice with only a few hot humid days to contend with. We’re close to hiking, camping, canoeing, skiing, and snowshoeing opportunities. It’s a good base for travel to the places we love. Kids? Yup, one son lives nearby, the other 4500 miles away in Alaska. Their choice to live where they do.
Where we live is relatively inexpensive, we own our home, so why move anywhere else?

 

[disykat]

I find it intriguing to see so many comments of people saying they are going to retire wherever their kids are.
if you have more than 1 child, how do you pick which one to follow? If they move after you follow them, will you follow them again?

Frank talk coming. I have no desire to move.

I plan to move for one reason and one reason only - to make life easier for my kids if/when I need help or supervision. I want to be set up so they it will take minimal effort on their parts to take charge if needed. I've spent the last five years commuting between two states to take care of my parents and my husband's parents (who fortunately lived in the same town my parents did, so that helped, but it was an 8 hour drive each way.) I literally had to quit my full time job and only do per diem work I could fit in, give up the idea of vacationing, etc. since even after I quit work, all of DH's vacation time has been spent on our parents. DH's parents did not have dementia, but his dad left behind property his mom couldn't manage and she had multiple serious medical issues and no money for a paid caregiver. All of our parents needed A LOT of help. Having two parents with dementia, odds are high I will have the same. While I will live in leveled care so they don't have to do daily care, there is still the need for an advocate. My parents had/have money so their day to day care has been taken care of, but there is still A LOT! Making sure they get appropriate care, moving them multiple times for different levels of care, sorting through all their belongings and prepping their home for sale, taking care of all their finances, ( for example, I just finished their taxes.)

My dad passed recently as did DH's remaining parent and now mom is living a few miles from us. Life is SOOOOOO much easier. I can stop by easily to visit, no more constant drives - and our time off can be used for our own stuff. If I had a child who lived locally, that'd be great, but they don't. No parent WANTS their children to have to help them, but it often becomes the default if help becomes necessary. So I'm going to do my best to organize and downsize my stuff and be in a position to be as self sufficient as possible while close enough to at least one of them so they don't have to drop everything and travel for every emergency. They can be comfy in their own homes and pop in and check on me occasionally and use their vacation time to take trips, etc. (Hopefully we'll stay in good shape and we'll be able to help them as well - with grandchildren, pet sitting, etc. and it will be a win/win. I would have LOVED having my parents closer when my kids were still at home and the transitions they eventually had to make would have been so much easier for me to help with. If my parents had moved in their mid 70's they would have really been able to settle into the community and enjoy the grandkids etc. before their health issues took over.)

I figure I'll move near the one most settled and if they move, they can help me pack up and ship me to where the other one is for their turn at having the parents nearby.

My parents used to tease me that, as the youngest, I couldn't leave home and had to stay to take care of them. They teased because it was the LAST thing they wanted for me. They had grown up and moved wherever they wanted and they wanted me to do the same. However, the fact that they stayed put and refused to leave their small town sort of doomed me to what they NEVER would have wanted for me. I'm going to be more proactive.

 

[Aurora79]

My dream is to retire on the land I grew up on. Buy a little acre or two and build a small house out in the woods (it’s still in my family, just not immediate family).

 

[Redart59]

Frank talk coming. I have no desire to move.

I plan to move for one reason and one reason only - to make life easier for my kids if/when I need help or supervision. I want to be set up so they it will take minimal effort on their parts to take charge if needed. I've spent the last five years commuting between two states to take care of my parents and my husband's parents (who fortunately lived in the same town my parents did, so that helped.) I literally had to quit my full time job and only do per diem work I could fit in, give up the idea of vacationing, etc. since even after I quit work, all of DH's vacation time has been spent on our parents. DH's parents did not have dementia, but his dad left behind property his mom couldn't manage and she had multiple serious medical issues and no money for a paid caregiver. All of our parents needed A LOT of help. Having two parents with dementia, odds are high I will have the same. While I will live in leveled care so they don't have to do daily care, there is still the need for an advocate. My parents had/have money so their day to day care has been taken care of, but there is still A LOT! Making sure they get appropriate care, moving them multiple times for different levels of care, sorting through all their belongings and prepping their home for sale, taking care of all their finances, ( for example, I just finished their taxes.)

My dad passed recently as did DH's remaining parent and now mom is living a few miles from us. Life is SOOOOOO much easier. I can stop by easily to visit, no more constant drives - and our time off can be used for our own stuff. If I had a child who lived locally, that'd be great, but they don't. No parent WANTS their children to have to help them, but it often becomes the default if help becomes necessary. So I'm going to do my best to organize and downsize my stuff and be in a position to be as self sufficient as possible while close enough to at least one of them so they don't have to drop everything and travel for every emergency. They can be comfy in their own homes and pop in and check on me occasionally and use their vacation time to take trips, etc. (Hopefully we'll stay in good shape and we'll be able to help them as well - with grandchildren, pet sitting, etc. and it will be a win/win. I would have LOVED having my parents closer when my kids were still at home and the transitions they eventually had to make would have been so much easier for me to help with. If my parents had moved in their mid 70's they would have really been able to settle into the community and enjoy the grandkids etc. before their health issues took over.)

I figure I'll move near the one most settled and if they move, they can help me pack up and ship me to where the other one is for their turn at having the parents nearby.

My parents used to tease me that, as the youngest, I couldn't leave home and had to stay to take care of them. They teased because it was the LAST thing they wanted for me. They had grown up and moved wherever they wanted and they wanted me to do the same. However, the fact that they stayed put and refused to leave their small town sort of doomed me to what they NEVER would have wanted for me. I'm going to be more proactive.

Wow. I’m impressed. You are a very good daughter & daughter in law. I hope you’re family realizes how lucky they are.

 

[pwdebbie]

I find it intriguing to see so many comments of people saying they are going to retire wherever their kids are.
if you have more than 1 child, how do you pick which one to follow? If they move after you follow them, will you follow them again?

We have 2 adult kids that are still in our currant state. 1 will probably stay here and the other will probably move out of state in a few years.

although it came as no surprise to the kids, (they know we hate it here) neither one of them are too happy that we have decided to finally make the move to Florida.

Ugh. Just feeling guilty.

As I said in my post, I've seen too many of my friends move to where their kids are, only to have the kids move away. I will choose where to live based on what area appeals to me. I hope to find a retirement community that will allow me to start in a no-maintenance cottage or apartment and move up from there to whatever is needed in the future. I do not want my kids to have to take care of me in my old age if I make it that long.

 

[Alicefan]

We already live in a place where people want to retire (mentioned already in this thread a few times!), but I can't imagine staying here forever. My job has caused us to move several times, so we don't have roots anywhere nor have we lived within the same state as our family in years and years.

Reality is that we have a young (only) child and would love to land wherever he eventually lands (unless he has a job like mine and moves often, too!). If we had stayed DINKS, we'd probably land back home where we grew up (Texas). We miss the food

Same here. I'm in a tourist town at the beach and people are moving here from up North in droves. I'd give anything to be in the mountains in a non-touristy area. I never want to live in a tourist town again as long as I live.

 

[Alicefan]

I don't think my generation will be able to enjoy the luxury of retirement at the rate things are devolving.

100% correct. As a hairstylist, I'll have to work until I die, sadly. The greatest gift my parents could've given me, was to make me put money in a Roth IRA the moment I got my first job, but no such luck. I didn't discover that until I was about 35.

 

[Alicefan]

My dream is to move to the mountains someday, but I honestly don't see that being much of a reality. I'd love to be on the outskirts of Asheville NC but even that has gotten very touristy. I'm sure there are a lot of areas convenient to Asheville but off the beaten path where you don't have to immerse yourself into the touristy areas unless you really wanted to. Cost of living-wise, Kingsport Tennessee or Johnson City/Bristol area would be ideal. I love the idea of small town living after living in such a tourist trap for my entire life.

 

[MIGrandma]

We live on a farm outside a very small town. Our daughter and her boyfriend have a small house in town and in about 5 years they plan to buy land and build their dream home. We are seriously considering buying their house when they do. We would be 70 years old, and my husband would be thinking about semi retiring from farming so it would be a perfect time to downsize and move into town. They have been making great improvements to the house so basically we would just need to repaint a few of the rooms (not a fan of gray walls).

 

[fivikse]

I think moving near kids vs staying put vs moving to your own dream destination is just a personal decision based on individual circumstances. My (divorced) parents did not move near me and sibling (sibling and I ended up in the same town with our kids). One parent lived in their dream destination, the other parent stayed put in our hometown - didn't want to leave friends. Neither would move to be near us even though we were both settling in our area. Both thought they had time to figure out end of life care. Both had unexpected health issues that really complicated things for all of us. Being 1000 miles away trying to deal with their health care issues and then their estates was definitely challenging. The one who stayed put constantly complained about not seeing us or our children enough.

Sibling's in-laws, on the other hand, followed sibling and spouse to two different cities. It has really seemed to work well for them. They have their own interests and activities, but get to have close relationships with grandchildren, and are nearby when the eventual health issues come up. But they are active and outgoing and happy to meet new people and also travel to see old friends. We also live in a popular area for retirees.

I hope to move near one or both children once I get older. We will just have to see where each is living and what stage of life they are in.

 

[pwdebbie]

Same here. I'm in a tourist town at the beach and people are moving here from up North in droves. I'd give anything to be in the mountains in a non-touristy area. I never want to live in a tourist town again as long as I live.

My parents retired to a resort area thirty years ago. It may have been quiet then but not any longer. My sister and I will inherit their house. I don't think either of us want to live there.

As for me, I live IN the mountains (small town surrounded on all sides by state forest; the AT passes by a mile from my house) near Gettysburg. Ask me how many times I've been to Gettysburg, lol; I think one hand will do it. We can trick people into thinking we live in the middle of nowhere if we give them dirt roads to get here instead of paved. (GPS used to do that to folks.) And yet I'm twenty minutes, no stoplights, from a Walmart. But weather like today reminds me of why I don't want to be here between October and April.

The beach is a nice place to visit, but dad doesn't realize that three nights there in the summer costs more than our income for the month.

I'll tell you what, you and I can trade houses. I'll take your beach house from October to April and you can have my mountain house those months. I'll leave you a snow shovel and if you're fortunate, a neighbor will plow you out.

 

[pwdebbie]

Frank talk coming. I have no desire to move.

I plan to move for one reason and one reason only - to make life easier for my kids if/when I need help or supervision. I want to be set up so they it will take minimal effort on their parts to take charge if needed.

I get you on that part. That is why I want to find a retirement community and stay put. My kids will then not have to worry about me. They will be free to roam about the country knowing mama is in a safe place. But I don't want them to give up their lives to accommodate me.

From 2005 to 2010, we did monthly day trips (two hours each way) to check on mil. Since 2017, we've done three-day trips at least six times a year to visit my parents five hours away (now it is just 91 yo dad). Still living in his house, refuses to go to a senior living place. He gets mad at me when I ask a neighbor to check on him. In 2007, I pressed my parents to move here, even found a nice retirement community for them. They refused; now dad has outlived his wife and friends. And I worry about him a lot.

So, yeah, not going to do that to my kids.

 

[Tattylou]

How many winters have you spent in NC? After a few of those, you may change your mind about the heat. lol

Wait- winter is bad in North Carolina?! I find that hard to believe being from New England - people move from here to NC for the better weather - it’s all relative I guess.