Tim Gunn, in an effort to bring a little style to a land filled with Crocs, wants to visit Disney World for a long weekend (he's very busy, people!). He prefers mild temps so as not to get sweaty in his ubiquitous suit and will bring his closest female friend to enjoy the time with him. The maximum amount of fancy in 3 days is required for his itinerary.
My thoughts:
Hey, Tim! Believe it or not, Disney World can be done in a pretty fancy way so we'll see if we can find something suitable enough for Mr. Erudite himself (I just learned the word "erudite" and feel it's a good time to break it out).
When to go? Assuming your 3 days needs to span a weekend, I'm going to suggest going November 5, 6 and 7 (Friday - Monday). At this time, all the kids who were there for Halloween festivities have left, the temps are nice and mild and the Food and Wine Festival is still going on at EPCOT.
Friday - After you arrive at MCO, have your driver take you to the Grand Floridian where you'll stay for your trip. There's no fancier hotel on site and it's the place you'll look least crazy wearing your suit.
After check-in, ride the monorail over to the Magic Kingdom where you'll have a late lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table which is inside the castle. Royalty is fancy!
When you're finished at the castle, walk toward the Tomorrowland Transit Authority (sometimes called the "People Mover") for a very laid back and gentle ride that will allow you to view many of the rides without having to wait in the nasty lines and crouch in weird positions like the peasants. Trying to keep it classy and avoid awkwardness here, Tim.
Walk over to ride It's a Small World which is another nice, long ride inside. Lots of cultures represented here. Being around other cultures is classy.
So far you've mostly ridden in vehicles of various types to keep it easy breezy in your 3-piece suit so let's keep that theme going and board the train at the back of the park and ride it to the front of the park. After all of that eating and sitting, it is time. to. go. Ride the monorail or boat back to your hotel.
I would tell you to get yourself dressed for the evening's activities but you already are! At 5:30, you will go to Victoria and Albert's which is a restaurant right at your hotel where you'll be a guest at the chef's table. Butler service, personalized menus and lots and lots of courses of small food will be planned for the evening. Small portions of food is the definition of fancy. Nice way to finish your first day.
What a day! You need to get your beauty sleep for even more types of fancy for Saturday.
Saturday is EPCOT day. Have your driver take you to the front gate of EPCOT (because we know you would most definitely look like a crazy person wearing that suit on a bus). In the Future World part of EPCOT, you'll probably find several things to your liking. The Seas is great for viewing creatures of...uhhh...the seas. If you're feeling particularly childlike, you may also wish to catch Turtle Talk with Crush because it's a pretty lovely show each time.
Everybody loves Soarin'. Be sure to do that. While you're there, try the Living with the Land tour to see where the fancy people's food originates.
The back of EPCOT has the World Showcase and not only is it very cultural but the Food and Wine Festival is going on which is EVEN BETTER. Also? Jon Secada. He will be performing. Take your time, eat some fancy foods and drink some fancy drinks from other cultures. It's sure to be lovely. If you're able to view Illuminations that night (which takes place on the water in the World Showcase at night), grab a seat in the Italy section for prime viewing.
One day left....
Sunday, the last day of this long weekend trip. I'm going to have you go to Animal Kingdom for a little while (skipping The Studios completely because, for you, it would be a whooooole lot of nonsense). At Animal Kingdom, check the schedule for the Lion King and Finding Nemo shows. They are fantastic. If you're feeling like your frocks and hair are up to it, be sure to try the Kilimanjaro Safari which will take you out to see the animals. Pro tip: don't get verklempt when they say the bridge is breaking. It's pretend!
Have your driver take you to Downtown Disney where you'll have dinner at Downtown Disney's finest establishment: Wolfgang Puck's "The Dining Room." (Naming your restaurant something that generic and making it your own is FOR SURE pretentious...I mean fancy.) After a delightful meal, walk toward the nearby Cirque du Soleil theater for the 9:00 La Nouba show. As I'm sure you know, Cirque shows are delightful and definitely worthy of your visit.
That wraps up a nice little 3 day trip. Hopefully it was kept fun and fancy and a nice escape from the grueling world of fashion and TV. If you have a little more time next time, maybe we trade your full suit for a swimsuit and head for a water park? Haha! Just kidding.
(In case you were playing the "drink each time she uses the word 'fancy'" game, it appeared in some form 12 different times in this post. That's too many. For both of us. I promise to break out the thesaurus next time to keep you from getting drunk while reading a forum post about Tim Gunn going to a theme park. Wait, maybe I'm the one who's drunk.)