Adult with “kid food” diet

[ronandannette]

On a 10 to 12 day trip? Um, 10-12 days.

Right, but that's you, not the poster I was addressing. You didn't answer whether or not you knew your travel companion well enough beforehand to be able to anticipate the conflicts you are now having. If you didn't, well, I guess this has been a valuable learning experience. If you did, I'm sorry to say you were the architect of your own misery.

 

[lorenae]

Wow. I hope u no longer travel with her.

Thanks for the support. I think that was it. She was unhappy that I went to Italy last year with a different friend, but no way I could have dealt with eating with her in our apartment by 7 PM with only PB&J. She is realizing that I likely won’t travel much with her again, and I know she must be hurt and I feel really bad about that- but I’m ok with the ‘no seafood, no shellfish, no mixed together foods (ie Asian), nothing that has spices, etc. It’s more the “well, I ate that earlier, but NOW I want you to go eat back to the hotel with me even though you’re hungry” thing that pushed me over to the “never again” side.

I think food preferences are important to recognize, and I tried to do this while traveling with her and skipped my preference for ethnic foods like sushi. You just reach a point where if they can’t compromise (a salad? a corn dog? noodles? bread? Ice cream?), then you can’t either anymore.

 

[wenrob]

True, but how often do you have to eat out with such a person? Unless it's your spouse or one of your kids, it really doesn't seem like such a daunting issue as to cause upset.

The ones I know I actually only see once every couple of years or so but that’s where the problem lies. Usually it’s a family visit so a group of ten or more people and you spend an hour going, “How about here?” “No, we can’t go there there’s nothing on the menu so and so will eat.” The whole group ends up eating at a subpar place and not really enjoying the meal. I wouldn’t call it upset but it’s definitely irritating.

 

[lorenae]

Right, but that's you, not the poster I was addressing. You didn't answer whether or not you knew your travel companion well enough beforehand to be able to anticipate the conflicts you are now having. If you didn't, well, I guess this has been a valuable learning experience. If you did, I'm sorry to say you were the architect of your own misery.

)Please read that again. Just read how you come across to people who are honestly trying to provide thoughtful and thought provoking answers to your weighted questions.

So, no matter what, according to you, it’s 100% my fault that she has major eating disorders? Here’s what you don’t know- I’m a recovering anorexic (been at a near normal weight or even at a normal weight now since 1999!!!!) and I understand more than you will ever know about eating disorders and being a picky eater.

 

[Wendy31]

When we went on vacation w/ the couple I mentioned earlier in this thread, to a point, her very limited palate did affect our vacation.

Looking back, we laugh about it now, but, at the time, it got a little irritating.

We were young & didn’t have a lot of vacation dollars, so we had saved for a while for a week at the beach & had planned to eat at some nicer restaurants & have fresh seafood - which we didn’t really have a lot of opportunity to get back at home.

This was years ago, so it was before internet. We couldn’t check menus on-line. We’d get to a restaurant & ask to see a menu to see if there was anything she’d eat.

She was nice & sweet &, if there wasn’t something on the menu, she’d say, “But let’s go ahead & y’all eat. I’ll just get something later from McDonald’s. It’s fine.”

But I like to think I’m nice too, & I just couldn’t imagine eating at a restaurant in front of her while she nibbled on bread (but not hush puppies because she didn’t like them) & drank a coke.

So, we’d leave & find another restaurant that had cheeseburgers or chicken fingers on the menu.

It didn’t ruin our trip. We had a good time. But, after the 1st couple of days, it did get a bit tiresome.

 

[ronandannette]

)Please read that again. Just read how you come across to people who are honestly trying to provide thoughtful and thought provoking answers to your weighted questions.

So, no matter what, according to you, it’s 100% my fault that she has major eating disorders? Here’s what you don’t know- I’m a recovering anorexic (been at a near normal weight or even at a normal weight now since 1999!!!!) and I understand more than you will ever know about eating disorders and being a picky eater.

My "weighted" questions? Was that intended as some sort of pun? If so, I don't get it. Of course her eating disorder is not your fault. How it would affect your trip (and apparently it's not your first) is something you knew in advance. None of this is commentary on your former problem, but since you mentioned it, wouldn't your first-hand understanding make you more empathetic towards her or maybe give you insight into some coping strategies?

 

[brockash]

I’m not who you were asking, but I can answer the first question for me. In my case, I was starving (she ate junk all day) by 6 PM and was ready to go for dinner. I was checking for ADRs while waiting for ROL. (I’m not a snacker, and won’t eat junk food.)

She nixed every single choice at DS (where we could easily Uber) or AK (where we were) and suggested salad or peanut butter and jelly.

I told her she could get salad at any restaurant, including an Italian place, and they all had ADRs.

This was our conversation from there:
Her: Nope. Not going to try ANY of them, because “what could I eat?”.
Me: Um, you had 9 Mickey bars last night and everything that wasn’t nailed down today in AK, and you won’t go to ANY restaurant at all?
Her: No. There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: They have plain salads at all of them, with no dressing. I promise.
Her: No. I can’t! There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: But you’ve eaten all day long. Maybe you’re not hungry, so a light side salad will do. But I haven’t eaten, and need a meal. I need real food.
Her: NOOOO. It’s bad if you eat after 7 PM. And I”m tired!
Me: I’ll take you back to the room. Then, I’ll go without you- you can go to the room and eat the peanut butter and jelly you want. I’m starving.
Her: NO, you can’t leave me!!! Please don’t leave me. It’s not my fault that I can’t eat anything at restaurants.

It gets really old for the travel partner.

To be fair that's really not a food issue; it's a friend acting bratty and selfish issue.

 

[CdnCarrie]

This is my mom! She will only eat pancakes, mac&cheese, mashed potatoes, or a plain hamburger. I understand the idea of not judging what someone else eats, but the unfortunate reality is that those choices DO become a burden for other people. There are literally 3 restaurants that she will eat at - Cracker Barrel, Bob Evans, or Perkins. All of which have very mediocre (at best) food. When we go to visit for a week, it is always such a struggle to figure out dinner. Because we're not going to rotate between those 3 for a whole week! We often either end up going out to eat without her (which she makes us feel guilty about) or just get some take out to bring back to their house, so that she can microwave herself some pancakes to eat. But even then she complains that our food smells too strong. So we definitely don't dare try to cook anything substantial there. She claims that she is "allergic" to absolutely everything else, but I find that hard to believe. Unfortunately, she was raised on nothing but hamburgers (her parents owned a hamburger stand) and I strongly suspect that she just never was encouraged to eat anything else and develop a taste for it.

We have gone out of our way to make sure that our kids are well-rounded eaters. And I think they do pretty well. DS is a little more finicky than DD, but he still has a pretty impressive appreciation for good food. I am a vegetarian myself (who doesn't like mushrooms!) but I am always determined to find something that will work, wherever we end up eating. Because I refuse to limit the rest of my family to 3 restaurants, lol!

Curious what your mom fed you growing up?

 

[wgeo]

Thanks for the support. I think that was it. She was unhappy that I went to Italy last year with a different friend, but no way I could have dealt with eating with her in our apartment by 7 PM with only PB&J. She is realizing that I likely won’t travel much with her again, and I know she must be hurt and I feel really bad about that- but I’m ok with the ‘no seafood, no shellfish, no mixed together foods (ie Asian), nothing that has spices, etc. It’s more the “well, I ate that earlier, but NOW I want you to go eat back to the hotel with me even though you’re hungry” thing that pushed me over to the “never again” side.

I think food preferences are important to recognize, and I tried to do this while traveling with her and skipped my preference for ethnic foods like sushi. You just reach a point where if they can’t compromise (a salad? a corn dog? noodles? bread? Ice cream?), then you can’t either anymore.

I'm not sure why people are attacking you -sorry about that. It seems like you've traveled with her before and she's changed over the years. I'm sure that's frustrating because it's nice to have someone to travel with. But it does sound as if her odd eating preferences are more about control. She doesn't seem to take into account your needs/wants at all - and I suppose that means the end of traveling with her. There has to be some give/take when traveling.

I think that's the issue for people that have to deal with "picky" eaters. They feel put on the spot, and then they feel guilty for wanting to eat in a nice restaurant, and feel like they always end up "giving in" to the picky eater. Is it the end of the world? Of course not, but it can get old pretty fast.

 

[L&Lfan]

On a 10 to 12 day trip? Um, 10-12 days.

And let’s face it- on a vacation where you’re spending over $250/night for a “moderate” hotel, eating PB&J in your room by 7 PM just isn’t a great fun vacation for most of us when you’re middle aged.

I would have NO trouble leaving the assclown in the room and dining out on my own. It’s her choice to come with me or not. Otherwise it’s “See ya later!”
What a selfish crone!

 

[PollyannaMom]

It’s more the “well, I ate that earlier, but NOW I want you to go eat back to the hotel with me even though you’re hungry” thing that pushed me over to the “never again” side.

It would me as well! (And keeping my mouth shut about her calling 8 Mickey bars "healthy" would have already used up all my patience in the first place.) She absolutely could have had her salad where you wanted to get your dinner.

How it would affect your trip (and apparently it's not your first) is something you knew in advance.

The limitations on adventurous food were known in advance, but it sounds like jumping on the newest "eating hours" bandwagon is knew - and made things much worse.

 

[barkley]

with my picky eater much has been explaining how something not on his mental list of foods he likes is almost identical to or only slightly different and getting him to try it, these have been our successes-

chicken parmesan ('it's a big chicken nugget with marinara and cheese'),

grilled chicken breast (recent addition) ('it's what kfc breads and fries without the breading, you can dip it in marinara if you like'),

meat loaf ('you like meatballs, it's a big flat meatball that you can eat warm or cold-you can put catsup like a burger on it or marinara'-he took LOTS of 'meatball loaf' sandwiches to school for years after i figured out to just use the identical seasonings in it i used for meatballs),

steak (it's a burger before they grind the meat, and yes-you can use catsup to eat it'),

beef roast ('it's what the butcher cuts into steaks or grinds into burgers-............yup, you can have catsup with it',

lasagna ('it's pasta with busted up meatballs, marinara and cheese'),


over the years he's gotten more open to at least trying new things at restaurants but i've had to become his menu translator-

calzone? it's folded over pizza

fish and chips? giant fish sticks and fries

manicotti/canelloni? it's pasta tubes with either meatball meat or cheese in it

enchiladas? it's what they make tortilla chips out of before they cut/fry it with taco meat inside/sauce and cheese on top

chimichanga? enchilada/hold the sauce-fry that baby (he has them hold the toppings).


w/ds's asd it will always be a work in progress.

 

[Skippy918]

Here's a question though. If you're a parent, and you don't like a ton of food, including fruits and vegetables and things that provide nutrition, how do you set the example for your children to eat them and instill healthy eating habits in them? I ask this because my friend's husband was in this group and my friend basically told him he had to start eating better in front of the kids.

My kids at this point know that dh doesn’t like fruits or veggies so I am the one to set the example for them eating healthy things. They like their fruit and dd really likes veggies. My son is hit or miss on the veggies and did eat them more when he was younger.

 

[wenrob]

with my picky eater much has been explaining how something not on his mental list of foods he likes is almost identical to or only slightly different and getting him to try it, these have been our successes-

chicken parmesan ('it's a big chicken nugget with marinara and cheese'),

grilled chicken breast (recent addition) ('it's what kfc breads and fries without the breading, you can dip it in marinara if you like'),

meat loaf ('you like meatballs, it's a big flat meatball that you can eat warm or cold-you can put catsup like a burger on it or marinara'-he took LOTS of 'meatball loaf' sandwiches to school for years after i figured out to just use the identical seasonings in it i used for meatballs),

steak (it's a burger before they grind the meat, and yes-you can use catsup to eat it'),

beef roast ('it's what the butcher cuts into steaks or grinds into burgers-............yup, you can have catsup with it',

lasagna ('it's pasta with busted up meatballs, marinara and cheese'),


over the years he's gotten more open to at least trying new things at restaurants but i've had to become his menu translator-

calzone? it's folded over pizza

fish and chips? giant fish sticks and fries

manicotti/canelloni? it's pasta tubes with either meatball meat or cheese in it

enchiladas? it's what they make tortilla chips out of before they cut/fry it with taco meat inside/sauce and cheese on top

chimichanga? enchilada/hold the sauce-fry that baby (he has them hold the toppings).


w/ds's asd it will always be a work in progress.

All great ideas!

Your “yes, you can put ketchup on it” made me LOL. We used to joke that DS had Ranch running through his veins. I used to buy the HUGE industrial bottles from Walmart. Now he only uses for things most people do, dipping type food.

 

[barkley]

We used to joke that DS had Ranch running through his veins. I used to buy the HUGE industrial bottles from Walmart. Now he only uses for things most people do, dipping type food.

i blame the daycare my kids went to for their ranch habits. that place never served anything without a side of 'yummy sauce' (ranch) so my kids got acclimated from a young age to that stuff. dd no longer drowns veggies in it but we have to keep it on hand at minimum for ds to use with papa murphys pizza. i think there's some kind of addictive element to the stuff b/c i've yet to meet a kid who didn't want it for everything (it and catsup). i had a co-worker whose kid went through a phase of only wanting warm white rice covered in ranch for breakfast every morning but she was like 'eh, at least it's got him eating something before he goes to school and i just set up the rice cooker before i head to bed so it's not as time consuming as when he was into pancakes or french toast'

 

[wenrob]

i blame the daycare my kids went to for their ranch habits. that place never served anything without a side of 'yummy sauce' (ranch) so my kids got acclimated from a young age to that stuff. dd no longer drowns veggies in it but we have to keep it on hand at minimum for ds to use with papa murphys pizza. i think there's some kind of addictive element to the stuff b/c i've yet to meet a kid who didn't want it for everything (it and catsup). i had a co-worker whose kid went through a phase of only wanting warm white rice covered in ranch for breakfast every morning but she was like 'eh, at least it's got him eating something before he goes to school and i just set up the rice cooker before i head to bed so it's not as time consuming as when he was into pancakes or french toast'

I can’t remember our “rules” but it was probably something like “you can put it on ONE thing.” I don’t remember him ever putting it on meat or cooked veggies but he put it on plenty for sure. If I made a big salad for dinner he’d ask if he could have it for breakfast. My DH said it was because of the Ranch but like your friend at that time I was just happy to get food in him. Over time I just started presenting him with other options and Ranch just kind of faded away. He’ll still have salad for breakfast but he changes up the dressing or doesn’t have any at all. The only things he won’t eat are mashed potatoes and rice BUT every once in awhile he’ll try them again on his own.

 

[disykat]

I don't know how anyone can think their food preferences or needs DON'T affect the people they eat with? My son's food allergies most certainly affected our choices. Doesn't mean we love him less, but it did affect our choices. In our family currently we have peanut free, gluten free, dairy free, and vegetarian. No one is particularly picky, but it is still difficult sometimes. Sometimes planning big family meals (I'm the cook) can be difficult. That said, I'm honestly probably the pickiest, preference wise.

 

[luvsJack]

No one on our family is picky now but I had a couple of picky kids when they were growing up.

We had no food “rules”. I cooked supper each night and breakfast each morning. What I cooked was the only thing I cooked but I never made anyone eat anything. If they didn’t like it or want to eat it, they could fix something else.

Eating out, we chose the restaurant and they found something to eat on the menu. Dd still has a few things she doesn’t eat—like fish or most Mexican food. The first isn’t an issue. The second can be as her husband’s favorite restaurant is Mexican. She usually gets a chicken quesadilla.

As for adults, I know a few that are picky and one that pretty much eats Mac and cheese and chicken strips. We have gone out for lunch. I just let her pick the restaurant as she knows which ones serve what she will eat.

 

[barkley]

FOUND THE SOLUTION-

saw a commercial today for 'sneaky chicken nuggets'. one serving has 1/4 cup of 'hidden' vegetables inside.

i doubt an adult who is choosing to limit their dining to chicken nuggets and no veggies will choose these but maybe those with kiddos might give them a try (i'm doubtful on them-i'm thinking the pureed veggies might make them mushy).

I don't know how anyone can think their food preferences or needs DON'T affect the people they eat with? My son's food allergies most certainly affected our choices. Doesn't mean we love him less, but it did affect our choices

if someone in our household (or a guest dining with us) had an allergy i ABSOLUTELY would adjust my choices because it comes down to health and safety. if it's just personal choice, or as the case with my son-a root medical cause but adding anything different/new to his diet would have no adverse health reaction, it doesn't impact our choices at all. there's food available to ds and we eat what we enjoy to eat. i'm very sympathetic of food allergies or smell sensitivities but when someone has a choice in eating whatever they want then i should be granted the same right.

 

[dbug 89]

I'm what i consider a very picky eater most of that is texture not taste related but i also have several food sensitivites which limit my diet even more so for example i will not eat red meat or uncooked veggies but love most veggies if cooked and love most seafood minus tuna and am weird with fruit because a lot of prepared fruit salad has lemon juice which i cant have i will ask what nuts are in baked goods as i am moderately allergic to walnuts i also love kid food but i usually make it a little more grown up