Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[postesf]

HI Amy! I'm late, but wanted to tell you that I'm glad Dan's test came back normal!!!

I know you are way at Disney and I hope you are having a wonderful time!!!

Stacie

 

[toystoryduo]

Hope you're having a great time in WDW, Amy!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks so much Anna, Denise, Tracy and Stacie.

Well a live report from Saratoga Springs. We have had a really nice trip, we don't have park passes today and yesterday so we have just been relaxing around the resort. Yesterday was great, it was fairly warm and we hung out at the pool all day, dh and I took two nice, 45 minute walks around SSR and then we all watched POTC Curse of the Black Pearl by the pool last night. Today, no idea what we will do, its only 51 degrees, so too cold to swim. Maybe we'll walk over to DTD and see a movie. I wish we had park passes, it would be a great day to go over to AK when the animals are frisky! Its record breaking cold here, just my luck. Its warmer in Denver today than here!

My food hasn't been great. We did the Halloween Party on the 23rd and got sooooo much candy. Its been too easy to eat way too much of that. Although yesterday I didn't have one single piece. Maybe I can resist today too! I also threw out a bunch of it, it was pouring rain at the party so some of it got wet and sticky! Perfect reason to throw it away! We have done a lot of meal sharing, we only ate full service twice (Rainforest and Prime Time) and we did a ton of walking. I have thus far taken four walks, and plan to do two more today. So thats been good.

For the first time ever, I am ready to come home. I think having a couple of days with no parks on the tail end of the trip is making me sort of bored and just ready to be home. Its times like this I wish we drove, because if we did, I'd just leave! Now if I had passes, I'd be at the parks and not wanting to leave as usual!

I'll check journals tonight or when I get home, dh needs his computer right now to work so I am officially thrown off! Thanks for keeping me on page one ladies!

 

[toystoryduo]

Wow Amy!

Did you say that it was warmer in Denver than in WDW? I hope it warms up in Florida before you head home! (Did I mention that we woke up to snow this morning?!?!?!?! )

I'm glad that you are having a good time.

Have a safe trip home!

 

[DisDee]

Sounds like you had a great trip Amy. The weather was crazy yesterday in Florida and the mid-Atlantic too. We had snow in the Philly burbs.

Did you wear a pedometer around WDW? I did one time and clocked 10 miles on our Epcot day which also included resort, parking lot, and other walking. I was shocked to see the miles add up.

Give us a trip report when you get settled in!

 

[CACruisin']

I'm glad you had a nice time at WDW. It sounds like your food is not as bad as you think. Sharing meals, 1 piece of candy for the day - sounds great! And good job getting the walks in . Bummer on the cold weather for your last day, but maybe you will return from your vacation rested this time instead of exhausted from all the running around. I sometimes feel like I need a vacation to recover from my vacation Enjoy your last day and have a safe trip home!
Anna

 

[traceycooper]

woo hooo I've been missing & your ok

Congrats on another loss

I love ''live'' trip reports sounds like your having a fab time & well done for getting those walks in

I'd sooner be cold in WDW than at home

 

[goldcupmom]

Sounds like you are having a GREAT time! My DSis told me FL was cold.....but still better than up here!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hey everybody, I am home. I have been home since Wednesday but its been crazy. The kids had a ton of homework/makeup work, we are almost done thank goodness. We had such a good time. It was cold in Florida those last two days, the last day in particular. Denver is in a warm spell (that is about to end) so we came home to much warmer weather. We still swam those last two days and on Monday night they had POTC Curse of the Black Pearl playing out by the main pool, we huddled under blankets and watched under the stars with about five other crazy people, it was so fun. I wish all the WDW resorts would do those poolside movies.

I have no idea how Wednesday's weigh in will go. I didn't do all that well on Friday. We were supposed to go to a party but I copped out. I was just so missing my mom, she and stepdad always came over for Halloween since dh and I married in 92 and I just wasn't in the party mood. So I took dh and the kids over to our friends house, went to Chick Fil A myself and came home and watched the Nuggets with some greasy fast food. I just needed to be alone. I sat a big bowl of candy on the porch and taped the doorbell off so I could just have some peace and quiet. It was a good way to just sort of unwind and I am feeling much better. The upcoming holidays are going to be hard and I just need to do what I feel like and not worry about setting any world records for some sort of Norman Rockwell holiday season. One thing about it, having her gone isn't as hard as seeing her suffer to the extent she was last year at this time. It was just about a year ago all hell broke loose and I am so glad its not then.

So I plan to weigh in Wednesday. I did a TON of walking at WDW. SSR is a great place to walk, the last three day I did two walks per day of around 45 minutes each. Denise, I didn't wear my pedometer, I brought it but couldn't find it and then when I unpacked it was in the lining of my suitcase! But I think I logged some seroious miles.

Food today was pretty decent and I have tomorrow and Tuesday to do well. I am so sorry I haven't gotten to journals yet, I have to help ds finish his project and then I may log back in later on. If not, I'll check in with all of you on Monday. I hope you guys are doing well, thanks for keeping me on Page 1! I missed you all but had a great time.

 

[lovinaz]

Welcome back!!! Sounds like you had a great time, even if the weather took a turn for the worst the last couple days. When we were there over New Years, the day we left was a record cold day, I was glad we were going to the airport instead of to the parks!

Don't fret too much about your WI this week. Hopefully all that walking paid off, and any vacation gain should go away after a couple days of eating right.

And just hang in there this holiday season. Try to focus on all the good memories, I'm sure that is what your mom would want.

 

[toystoryduo]

Welcome Home, Amy!

I'm glad that you had a good time in WDW! How did your weigh in go?

I hope you have a great weekend ahead!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hey everybody, I don't know what my problem has been. I just can't seem to WISH or be motivated where my weight is concerned! I did get two walks in this week so that was a little something.

Weigh in was not bad, I was up 2.4, so not horrible. It didn't help that this was my first weigh in wearing winter clothes! Going from lightweight capris to jeans and a sweater was not what I needed. Oh well, I had to transition sometime I guess, it is November after all!

I am committed to getting recommitted over the weekend. I think I just had those post trip blahs. I have also been very sad, ds' grade school reading teacher passed away this week. She was 52 and had a 9 year battle with breast cancer. She was truly one of the finest and most amazing people I have ever known. Ds was so crushed, he really loved this woman to this day. I have also really been missing my mom (I apologize, you guys must get so sick of me saying that). I guess its the time of year. I had lunch with my friend who lost her mom in the past two years and she is feeling much the same way. I just need to take it one day at a time. The Grief Support Group that is part of our Hospice sent some good information on surviving the holidays that I need to finish reading. I think the one year anniversary being so close to Christmas is going to be a double whammy.

So that is my news. I am sorry I haven't journaled with any of you, I have no good excuse. But I am heading over to you guys now!

Amy: When its 60 in Floridia it feels way colder than 45 here at home! One of the reasons that in some ways I prefer the heat of summer at WDW. I can be cold at home thank you very much! Daisy is a good girl, I can leave her out and about now while I am gone, she doesn't bother a thing. She was home alone for about five hours on Wednesday. She seems to know she needs to behave or its back to the crate!

Tracy: Hope things are well with you sweetie, I am heading to your journal right now! I did have a good time in WDW, I do still miss Jeremy Irons voice on Spaceship Earth, why oh why did they mess with a good thing??

 

[toystoryduo]

I want to send a gentle your way, Amy. I know that you miss your mom. I wish we lived closer so that we could get together over a cup of coffee and we could talk about the wonderful memories that you have of her. Whenever you need to talk about her, we are here to listen.

I'm so sorry to hear about your DS's teacher. We'll send a prayer for the family.....

I think you did a great job at weigh-in! I bet those 2.4 pounds will be gone by next weigh-in.

Keep on keeping on, Amy! You CAN do this! We're behind you all the way cheering you on to victory!!!!!

Have a blessed Sunday, my friend.

 

[pearlieq]

Oh Amy, I wish I could just give you a big hug. I know it's been hard lately, and that the next couple of months are going to be even harder. I will be thinking and praying about you the whole time. You're never alone in this.

I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of how you handled Halloween. You were extraordinarily kind to yourself right when you needed to be and I'm glad it made you feel a little bit better. You're so strong and resourceful--you're coping very well, to my way of looking at things.

I'm so sorry to hear of your DS' teacher. You have a very sweet boy--I'm sure she loved him right back.

I'm glad you had a nice trip. I know what you mean about cold in Florida! We were there in Jan once and it felt positively frigid at 60 where we would have been merrily breaking out the shorts back at home. It's funny how our expectations can color how we feel.

I hope you have a very nice week and have a chance to get your bearings again. Take care!

 

[postesf]

HI Amy! I'm glad to hear you guys had a good time at WDW! Watching a movie outside is always very cool!

So sorry to hear about DS's teacher. That is so sad!!

Stacie

 

[Amy&Dan]

Oh Pearlie, its so good to "see" you again! I did what I had to do on Halloween, these were our dearest friends having the party so they more than understood. I just wasn't feeling that outgoing that night so it was good to stay home and lay low.

Stacie: We had watched movies outside at Music in the spring so it was fun we got to do it again. I had seen the movie about 20 times but this one was special!

Tracy: Thanks Wish Sis, I need all the hugs I can get lately. You always send me a good one from Ohio.

Today I am supposed to weigh in but I don't feel like it so I plan to go tomorrow or Friday. I need to check the schedule, I have to take stepdad to the airport tomorrow mornign so I may need to go Friday. I haven't done that well with food and haven't exercised one time. I am struggling and maybe getting a couple of days to refocus will be a good thing.

Not much to report, I am starting to get ready for Christmas. We plan to put up the tree this weekend, very early I know but the kids are so anxious and we always do it before Thanksgiving. We started that years ago when Dan's family would come Thanksgiving for an early Christmas and even though they now come at Christmas, we keep the old tradition of early decorating going. It will feel weird, we took that tree down last January 15th, just a few days after my mom died. We had kept it up because we literally didn't have time to get it down before that point. I am glad its not then. Speaking of which, today is the 10 month anniversary of her passing, I can't believe its been that long. Like most big events in life, it seems like yesterday but also seems a lifetime ago.

Not many plans for the weekend. Ds and I plan to go to his teacher's memorial service on Saturday morning. She was one of those people that really was in the profession God intended her to be in, what a huge impact she made on so many lives. What a loss but I am glad her suffering is over.

Oh and on the holiday front, I decided to go ahead and do the big family gathereing over here after all. I had said I wouldn't and dh's aunt and cousin were more than happy to take us out. But I just don't think this is the year to break tradition. Hopefully sister and dh's family will get along. Last year was very tense. They just don't like each other very much. But I love them all so will just have to find a way to make the day nice for everyone. I plan to drink heavily. Its my birthday so I might as well right?

I am off to do some Christmas shopping and errands. I filled out some more job applications at some Hallmark stores and haven't heard a word. I am beginning to wonder if anybody out there is hiring. Oh well, it'll happen when it happens.

Thanks for reading, I am doing better, I just need to get my butt in gear, watch what I eat and exercise. Food has been so so, not too bad but no enough veggies and fruits. I think I need a big salad in my immediate future!

 

[Goofydiane]

Amy - sending big hugs your way.

Sounds like the trip was a lot of fun. Disney resorts are great for long walks and I'm so proud of you for doing as many as you did.

You give strength to so many of us on these boards and we are get so much from you, I wish you didn't have the stress in yours.

A friend of mine at work said that everyone seems to be struggling with food lately and at her WW meeting the leader spoke about the challenge to not put on an extra winter coat! I chuckled at that because it seems like those of us who live in the colder climates spend the spring, summer and fall taking off the winter coat we put on during the cold months!

I'm with you, I would love to put my Christmas tree up already, I put a tree up last year but never decorated it. It was the first year without my dog who I had had for 15 years and he passed right after Christmas so I wasn't into celebrating. This year I already have the Christmas music in the Zune and the iPod. It is great to keep traditions going.

I haven't been around much, but I think of you often and even more now that my temporary car has Colorado plates!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Diane. I need to NOT gain yet another winter coat on my already over coated body.

Today was good on the food front, but still no exercise. I have absolutely got to get back on track. The colder temps and shorter days haven't helped. Dh and I were really on a roll, but he has been working 12-14 hour days. Several times I have waited for him, all dressed up and ready to walk, only to have him get stuck at work or be too exhausted to go. Tonight we were going to walk at the outdoor mall after I got dd's choir concert clothes at Penny's. Wrong! We had to go to three stores looking for a white, cotton, button up shirt. It had to be long sleeved. Couldn't find anything. I finally got her a boy's dress shirt, which went over like a lead balloon. Well too bad, wear some pearls and it'll look girly, what can I say?! In any case, all that running around cost me and dh our walk. We had planned to go while the kids were at church, instead we had to shop, something we both hate.

And during this nightmare, I suddenly got one of those, panic/depressed/ashamed/disgusted bouts with myself. I kept seeing myself in full length mirrors in the stores. I had on sweats that really don't fit too well (think tight), my hair needs a cut badly and I just looked like a fat, frumpy, white trash, middle aged fishwife. Gee, doesn't that sound nice? But its how I felt. I finally escaped to the car and made dh wait in line to pay at Kohls. It took him forever! I owe him big time for that one. But I was in mortal fear I might see someone I know. Not a good way to feel. I hate myself for hating myself. I guess I just lament the fact I so often look dowdy. I used to take such pride in my appearance. What happened to that person I used to be? I used to be cute, always dressed nice and now I have been replaced by an overweight, middle aged woman who left cute behind 25 pounds and five years ago. And I did it to myself. However, I have a plan! First of all, I intend to lose five pounds by January 1. I think that is a reasonable goal during the holiday season. Second of all, I have to just get back on track with my walking. Dh will have to walk on the treadmill when he gets home at night by himself. It was great when our buddy system was working, but its not anymore. So I have to start back up doing what I need to do for me and then berate him to get on the treadmill by himself. Which he hates. Oh well, he'll get over it.

So tomorrow, I am GOING to walk first thing, before I take stepdad to the airport, then I am going to get a haircut and possibly shop for a few new items of clothing that fit, and don't make me feel like crap about myself. Hopefully tonight was one of those rock bottom moments that will get my rear in gear.

But I do have to at least say, I did well on food today. So that's something. Tomorrow is another day. And those sweats are not going on my body again until I lose 10 pounds. Sheesh, no wonder I have NO full length mirrors in my house.

 

[DisDee]

Amy,please don't be too hard on yourself. You are so supportive to all of us, so you need to make yourself your #1 fan. Make today an "Amy" day, and focus on you.

Good for you , to start your holidays early this year. I plan to do the same thing since I have plenty if time. Try to focus on all the happy memories of your mom and not the time when she was so sick last year. Celebrate her life as part of your family traditions.

 

[pearlieq]

I just looked like a fat, frumpy, white trash, middle aged fishwife.

I realize you were in the middle of berating yourself, but I just have to tell you how much I love the way you express yourself! Only someone truly smart and witty would refer to themself as a fishwife. You are so clever with words!

In all seriousness, though, I know what those moments are like. You don't think about these things before you throw something on and head to the store and then you just have to see it over and over again.

I think your plans for a haircut and some shopping today are fantastic--you deserve some extra attention and it's such a positive, loving way to deal with how you felt. Good for you! I can't wait to hear about what you bought.