So this is the post I have been dreading writing, but I know it's time: this is my final post in my PJ.
The one aspect of Disney I have struggled with since reaching adulthood is their focus on "Happily Ever After." Cinderella, Aurora, and Ariel--- all of their stories end with a wedding and a Happily Ever After. They wear white dresses and conclude with a kiss. But to me, no matter what Ted Mosby might say about it, the real story isn't how a boy and girl meet. The real story is how they stay
together, even if that tale isn't as exciting or as romantic.
With that being said, I still feel cheated out of my Happily Ever After. Since our wonderful wedding and honeymoon, I have had very few opportunities to be, well, happy. I have lost the second most important person in my life; my mom has stopped speaking to me; my grandfather was in critical care; my grandmother was in a coma; and I am not graduating with the rest of my cohort because I was both mentally and physically unable to take my master's examination on time. Sometimes I want to throw my hands up in frustration and yell "It wasn't supposed to be like this!!!!" Because it really wasn't. It just wasn't.
Much of this trip report was difficult for me to write. I was determined not to let that show, and I also tried not to mention it very often because I didn't want to be accused of--- what was it? Oh, yes--- "playing the my daddy just died card," but it wasn't easy to write about some of these moments. I would think to myself "When this happened, my dad was alive. And now he's not."
So much of my wedding and honeymoon are wrapped up in what happened to my dad. The last thing he ever said to me was a facebook post about the second Disney Dooney bag I bought. I'm looking forward to going to the Cali Grill in two weeks, but also dreading it because I last saw my dad at the Contemporary. At the funeral, a priest I have known since I was a little girl reached across my dad's coffin and said "I'm so sorry. Congratulations on your wedding." These two events, one so joyful; the other, so sorrowful, have become blended together in such heartbreaking ways.
And, sometimes, I become obsessed with the idea that it's just not
fair. I spent so many hours planning and thinking about my beautiful wedding, and some days I feel like my wedding was taken from me. This is hard for me to explain to anyone else, but I know you girls (and guys?) will understand and not judge me. I've had so many people say to me "You got some great pictures with your dad!" And they're right, of course. I did get great pictures with my dad, and I am so thankful for them. But, at the end of the story, my wedding day wasn't about my dad and me. It was about my new husband and me starting a new chapter of our lives, yet people seem to have forgotten that. One of the reasons why we're taking anniversary pictures in December is because I have a desire to reclaim ownership of my wedding dress. Silly, perhaps.
With all of this being said, I am still so happy to be married. If my life had to crumble, I am ever thankful that it did so after my marriage. I don't think I would have been able to do all of the things I have done the over these last four months if I hadn't had Chris at my side supporting me. He loved my dad, and because we were married he was able to take grievance pay to attend the funeral. Chris is truly a wonderful man, and I am so proud to say that he is my husband. Our first four months have marriage have, hopefully, been the most difficult times we will face. And I do hope our happily ever after is out there waiting for us. If it's not, well, then we'll make our own.
And so, my planning journal comes to a close. I have loved writing in this over the last year and a half, and I have made some friends that I truly consider to be lifelong friends. I love some of you girls very, very much, and I am so glad to have you all in my lives! Your support throughout the planning process helped me through some rather sticky situations. Your kind words and encouragement throughout my grieving process has been helpful and meaningful in ways I can't express. Thank you all so, so much for your thoughts and prayers for my family and me. I'm friends with most of you on facebook, but if we're not friends--- please friend me!
With any luck, this will be moved to completed planning journals soon. And so, thank you all for reading and sticking along with me throughout this long journey.
I am glad you were able to get to your PS!
And a group VR would be EPIC. I feel like Disney with all of their silly rules wouldn't allow it, but... worth a shot? 
I am hoping that you and Chris have faced the worst and things will only get better. You deserve that happily ever after! You're absolutely right that it isn't fair... there's just nothing we can do about it 
If I act like having 2 dogs in a condo is a joy on Facebook... it's only a show for my family, lol. Really it's a giant inconvenience 
It's a beautiful photo of the two of you, and Belle just happens to be in the picture with you.
