Learned something about myself at Disneyland a couple of weeks ago...

[LiDa]

When you get married and have your own family, your life is all about compromise. And we all know that Moms, especially, get the short end of the stick on many things. Just because you become a parent, doesn't mean that you are no longer an individual person with your own likes, feelings, wants, and needs. Yes, sometimes parents need a bit of time to themselves to do what they want or be selfish. How is that a bad thing? When you are the one to compromise 24/7, those few days a year is a much needed mental health renewal. It is different when you are single or without kids and just have to take care of yourself. Spending those few days on vacation with others is not the same as going with your kids. And even if someone is single, everyone deserves to be able to do things that they want to do.
It is never an even 50/50 when more than one person goes somewhere, someone always is the one to give up more. Usually if someone doesn't feel that imbalance, then they are probably the one that others are compromising more for.

So much going on there that it's best to just not respond. I hope you have a good day.

 

[LiDa]

Have you ever tried the Flyaway bus? Best thing in L.A. in my opinion! If you live in the Valley it's a short drive (or Lyft) to Van Nuys, cheap parking, very frequent, cheap bus departures and zero stress. It's the only way I go to LAX, and I go often.

No, I haven't, thank you for the tip! I will have to look into that. I see the signs all the time when I go toward Northridge, but never heard anything about it. LA is so difficult to figure out, esp. public transportation. It's like they're TRYING to get people to stay away from it & just take their cars. lol Thanks, again.

 

[LiDa]

I'm not sure how relevant my experiences are, as I have (sadly) never done a solo trip and I'm also someone who loves time alone (I'm a mom of littles so alone time sounds like heaven these days).

On our last trip to WDW, I found myself semi-alone quite a bit (ie, wandering alone with my sleeping toddler in the stroller while husband took our other kiddo on rides or whatever). Since we also did not fully understand rider swap at the time, I rode alone on quite a few attractions. I never once felt like anyone - guests or CMs - treated me any differently than they did when I was with my group. I sat down at several places for a drink/snack while toddler slept. While I might not say that tons of people were "supportive" (because I'm not actually sure what that would entail), no one ever bothered me, or looked at me sideways that I noticed (granted, I know I wasn't technically alone, but I did FEEL alone as I had no one to talk to). Since I was tied to the stroller, I killed a lot of time seeking out photo pass locations and I took lots of photo pass photos either on my own or next to a stroller with the shade pulled down I felt a little funny about that at first just bc I'm not someone who typically takes pictures of myself alone, but the CM's were unfailingly fun, encouraging, kind and friendly.

On the occasions that I WAS actually alone, I honestly didn't feel like anybody thought anything of it, if they even noticed at all. When I was young and single and most of my friends were already married, I did lots of things locally, solo - including going out to eat, the movies, sitting at the bar, etc. I felt like more people thought it was weird when I did THOSE things than anyone did in WDW. In WDW, it's super common for guests to be solo for various reasons, and no one blinks an eye. We once had dinner at Biergarten with a really wonderful young woman who was solo for dinner because the rest of her group wanted to eat somewhere else, but she was dead set on Biergarten. Like me, parents are often solo in WDW for various reasons. My own mom was solo a lot on our last trip because my dad couldn't join her for health reasons, and she wasn't up for being in the parks as much as we were with our young kids. Point being, I never have made assumptions about solo guests in WDW, and I don't feel like anyone has ever really made any assumptions about me when I've been solo in WDW, however briefly.

If you don't want to do WDW solo because you're afraid you'll be lonely, or because you think you'll feel awkward, then there's nothing wrong with that. But I wouldn't not go out of fear of being judged. Because first of all, if anyone judges you, then that's a them problem, not a you problem. And secondly, I just don't think anyone is actually judging

I have no fear of being overwhelmingly lonely & don' feel awkward on my own, don't care who thinks what of me. I'm genuinely sorry that I have given the impression that I felt judged. That wouldn't be my problem, but theirs.

And I am similar: I never take pics at all, let alone of just me! lol When I was in Tokyo alone, on a city tour, the tour guide INSISTED on taking my photo. There was nothing I could say or do to persuade her that I really didn't want or need a photo of myself. So I finally let her take it - it seemed so important to her.

 

[Lilsia]

So much going on there that it's best to just not respond. I hope you have a good day.

I don't understand why you would look down on people who want to be alone some times. As if those people don't love their families.

 

[AnnabelleTheTalkingTree]

It's interesting how many people have posted how nice it is to not have to lead a group or ensure other people are happy -- or some variation. I've tried to think back & I don't ever remember that being an issue.

My guess is that many of us here who frequent these boards (I mean Disboards in general, not the Solo board specifically) tend to be the lead planners when our families/friends visit WDW/DL. And as the main "planners" of the group (especially when it's a larger group that extends beyond the nuclear family unit) there can be pressure (real or imagined) to make sure everyone has a good time. I've planned lots of trips for groups between 7-13 people, and I've always felt some of that pressure. Our upcoming trip is the first time I've planned for JUST our nuclear family and I am SOOOO much less stressed about it.

 

[AnnabelleTheTalkingTree]

I have no fear of being overwhelmingly lonely & don' feel awkward on my own, don't care who thinks what of me. I'm genuinely sorry that I have given the impression that I felt judged. That wouldn't be my problem, but theirs.

And I am similar: I never take pics at all, let alone of just me! lol When I was in Tokyo alone, on a city tour, the tour guide INSISTED on taking my photo. There was nothing I could say or do to persuade her that I really didn't want or need a photo of myself. So I finally let her take it - it seemed so important to her.

I'm just reading over your responses from before, and I definitely misunderstood the original post. First of all, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. Secondly, if it's more about thinking you might get bored of Disney, maybe try a new destination? I get that Disney feels like a good place to travel solo bc it feels safe, but you've traveled solo elsewhere and it seems like you're super capable and independent. What else is on your bucket list?

 

[AnnabelleTheTalkingTree]

I don't understand why you would look down on people who want to be alone some times. As if those people don't love their families.

I'm a mom too, and I do understand where you're coming from. I've never done a solo trip and sometimes come check out the solo boards - wistfully - imagining how nice it would be to have a short reprieve from the exhaustion that can come from catering to others 24/7. I doubt OP thinks that you or I don't love our families. But you and I are here on a board that's designed for solo travelers, which admittedly, is not the stage we're at in our lives. So while we may not fully understand the experience/possible struggles of someone who often travels solo, OP may not fully understand the experience/possible struggles of someone who travels with kids. I don't think anyone is saying you don't love your family, just maybe that the need for alone time is not an experience they share.

 

[Lilsia]

I'm a mom too, and I do understand where you're coming from. I've never done a solo trip and sometimes come check out the solo boards - wistfully - imagining how nice it would be to have a short reprieve from the exhaustion that can come from catering to others 24/7. I doubt OP thinks that you or I don't love our families. But you and I are here on a board that's designed for solo travelers, which admittedly, is not the stage we're at in our lives. So while we may not fully understand the experience/possible struggles of someone who often travels solo, OP may not fully understand the experience/possible struggles of someone who travels with kids. I don't think anyone is saying you don't love your family, just maybe that the need for alone time is not an experience they share.

It most definitely is different depending on what stage of your life that you are in. When you are young and single, you look to reach out and have those connections. When your kids are growing, you spend the majority of your life dedicated to them, at least most do. I am now at the stage that my kids are adults and I have to freedom to be able to just pick up and go if I want to. I have a loving and very supportive husband who knows that I love to travel, even though he doesn't. So I have done many solo trips over the years. It gets old when moms are judged for doing something for themselves, especially when no one bats an eye when a dad says that he is going on some fishing or golf trip. I have actually had people say to me that I don't love my kids if I go on vacation without them. It just all gets very old.

 

[LiDa]

I'm just reading over your responses from before, and I definitely misunderstood the original post. First of all, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. Secondly, if it's more about thinking you might get bored of Disney, maybe try a new destination? I get that Disney feels like a good place to travel solo bc it feels safe, but you've traveled solo elsewhere and it seems like you're super capable and independent. What else is on your bucket list?

I have one more place at WDW to put my mom's ashes! Shh, don't tell anyone.... ;-)

 

[LiDa]

I don't understand why you would look down on people who want to be alone some times. As if those people don't love their families.

Please don't think I mean that. Far from it. It feels to me as if you were making great leaps in your conclusions about my own life, which genuinely took me back. No one can tell from social media posts what the pressures are in my life, how often I may have to subjugate my own desires or preferences or needs for others, what the other pressures in my life might be in need of a safety valve, etc. You also don't know what my situation as a caretaker might be. There is a way to disagree & to say you object to what you feel is a characterization of yourself w/o going on the attack. I felt attacked. So, while I regret making you feel as if I were looking down on you, I would hope that you would feel the same about what you seemed to be suggesting about my life.

But, it’s OK. We can agree to disagree. And whereas I suspect you think that DisBoards is something to continue with, I realize it is not for me. I wrote a post that I thought was clear & I admit to erroneously removing some clarity as I edited for length. What I hadn’t anticipated was being so utterly & completely misunderstood, even by the most well-meaning of members.

 

[LiDa]

It most definitely is different depending on what stage of your life that you are in. When you are young and single, you look to reach out and have those connections. When your kids are growing, you spend the majority of your life dedicated to them, at least most do. I am now at the stage that my kids are adults and I have to freedom to be able to just pick up and go if I want to. I have a loving and very supportive husband who knows that I love to travel, even though he doesn't. So I have done many solo trips over the years. It gets old when moms are judged for doing something for themselves, especially when no one bats an eye when a dad says that he is going on some fishing or golf trip. I have actually had people say to me that I don't love my kids if I go on vacation without them. It just all gets very old.

I'm sorry that's happened to you. I just don't get why anyone would think that someone taking some time for themselves somehow makes you a bad person or a bad mother. It does not & we all need to do it, for whatever reason.

 

[LiDa]

I'm a mom too, and I do understand where you're coming from. I've never done a solo trip and sometimes come check out the solo boards - wistfully - imagining how nice it would be to have a short reprieve from the exhaustion that can come from catering to others 24/7. I doubt OP thinks that you or I don't love our families. But you and I are here on a board that's designed for solo travelers, which admittedly, is not the stage we're at in our lives. So while we may not fully understand the experience/possible struggles of someone who often travels solo, OP may not fully understand the experience/possible struggles of someone who travels with kids. I don't think anyone is saying you don't love your family, just maybe that the need for alone time is not an experience they share.

I absolutely need time to myself because I DO understand what it is to be pulled in 1000 different directions & have to constantly subjugate my own needs & preferences to others. I just don't understand why that means comprise & sacrifice can't be done out of love & bring joy.

 

[CoachBeard]

I visited Disneyland alone, which I have done a few times before. Never did WDW alone & I was considering visiting WDW for about 5 days on my own. I have always known that one day at Disneyland, which is less than 90 minutes from where I live, is not the same thing as flying across the country to spend 5 days at WDW on my own, but I paid attention to how I was managing. Was I enjoying it? Was I bored? Was I lonesome at all? Did I ever feel awkward? And so on.

And I have to say that one day at Disneyland absolutely cured me of my desire to visit WDW alone. I was never lonesome & never bored, but most of the CMs were not as supportive as I had expected & I felt as if I didn't want to ride a few things alone, even though I used to enjoy them with my friends & mom.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, did you end up changing you mind & what contributed to the change?

Thanks!

I did basically the same thing last year. I went to WDW in 2008 on a honeymoon and again in 2011 with my ex. I loved it! We also had DLR AP's from 2006-2010. I had a couple SO's since then who enjoyed going to DL with me (local as well). I received a bonus at work and knew I wanted to travel. Europe was still iffy with all the regulations so I bit the bullet and booked a solo trip to WDW. I did a 3 resort split stay renting DVC points, and it was also my 40th bday.

To prepare, this time last year I bought a Magic Key and have now gone to DL many times solo. The first couple of trips were to test myself and I did just fine. No one was looking at me funny or anything like that. While at WDW I met so many great people and shared some drinks with a few of them. After a couple of hours we went our separate ways and honestly, I don't even really remember their names but it was some of the best chats I've ever had. I feel like if you open a spot at your shaded table to someone looking for relief, or strike up a conversation at Oga's or any bar, folks at WDW are fairly willing to engage. I love bringing a friend or SO but that isn't in the cards right now so I have to do what I need to do to be happy.

Book that trip, spoil yourself, and have a wonderful time!