Having never been a commando-style tourer, I can't quite tell you how you can tone it down as that may simply be your personal style, but we like to take our time. We don't precisely "go off the beaten path". We aren't rope droppers. I'm up at 6 am every weekday, first to the gym at 7 and then to work, home by about 6-6:30. So on vacation I like to sleep in until 8-ish. TS breakfast at 9-9:30 and take our time. No snarfing down food just to eat. Actually enjoy it, have a couple of cups of coffee. We book our FP+ for early afternoon as that gives us time to get there and then not have to commit to doing the whole day at that park. Dinner is usually late (>8 pm) so we have the whole day to do whatever.
In Epcot, we spend a lot of time in the World Showcase just watching the performers in each country: mime/acrobat in France, drummers in Japan, bellydancers & musicians in Morocco, mariachi band in Mexico, acrobats in China, etc. That can take up a good portion of the day and, best part of all, it doesn't require standing in line. In between, we'll browse through the shops. My favourites are Japan, China, Morocco, Mexico, England. Spend lots of time in Nemo and friends actually looking at the exhibits and reading the text.
In Animal Kingdom, again we like to wander through some of the shops but will also spend a large portion of time on the animal pathways, take the train up to Rafiki's and look at what's there. I also highly recommend the Wild Africa Trek for something different.
In Hollywood Studios, we spend time watching the actors who come up from time to time (hint: sit in the outside seating at the Starbucks - that's where they come out). Also wandering through shops.
At MK, we do things we would never have "wasted time on" in previous years. Liberty Belle, Tom Sawyer's Island, the train (seats!!!), Peoplemover.
We will always take a few breaks through the day; just sitting with a drink and watching people having meltdowns because they are commando-style touring types and they are hot, tired, and too busy running to their next ride to take the time to enjoy the little details that Disney does so well. Check out the names on the doors and windows (same with MK but it's not quite as funny).
Towards later afternoon, we will often feel like either going back to the resort and snoozing, watching TV for a bit, sitting by the pool, etc. or we head to the bus stop. If we have another park specifically in mind, we'll do that (buses are air conditioned! and have seats!) or we'll take the first bus that comes.
We resort hop just to see what they're like. Especially nice at Christmas-time for the decorations.
For us, the main part of the vacation is the vacation,not necessarily the venue or having to experience everything. Being together, doing things we enjoy together, talking, not working, relaxing. You may find it hard to do any of this if you are really, at heart, commando-vacationers but we can do a trip with only a few attractions per day and come home thinking it was the best Disney vacation ever.