Ok, Im only going to speak of this once. And then its back to my code of silence when it comes to my knee.
I went to the orthopedic guy today and they took x-rays of my knee. There is no injury. My kneecap is deformed. He said it is a developmental problem where the cap didnt fully fuse at the top (thats the best I can remember).
He was a jerk. After viewing the x-rays and asking me some questions he launched into a little lecture that started out not everyone was built to run marathons
I didnt hear much after that until he got to you may still be able to run this marathon, but
WHAT!?!?!?!?!
Still run this marathon? Woah, I dont think were on the same page here.
So spending the better part of my brain power in fighting to keep my composure I asked so, if I am really careful and ice and all that, I can run as long as I dont have a lot of pain, right? I wont damage it further, right? He said you running 40 miles a week now, 2 months out from the marathon, I dont see how you can ramp up your necessary mileage to be ready if youre already in pain. So we went back and forth on this pain idea for a while at which he got a tad bit irritated and told me about a patient he has who had a fracture and ran through the pain and literally broke her leg in half. So I came back to if Im not in excruciating pain, is it safe to say Im not damaging my knee? He wouldnt commit to that but he did lighten up a little when I told him my current LRs are 16-18 miles and Ive run a 20 without excessive pain.
He obviously isnt a runner. He threw out that dont run the marathon statement like he was telling me not to wear plaid.
He said the 500 lb leg presses are definitely out but I could let the pain be my guide as to how much to do.
I tried many times to get him to say whether or not I might seriously damage my knee and he just kept referring back to the pain as an indicator of what I can and cannot do. Well, if I went by that I would have never played sports in high school or spent years roller blading, or spent this past 4 years being insanely active. So, Im not going to worry about it. I wont push it when its painful, but its not painful all the time or even most of the time.
Ill tell you, the last thing I needed right now was another reason to doubt my ability to do this. Im not telling my family or friends. You are the only ones who will know my secret.
I guess my superstition was based on an intuition that there really is something wrong and unfixable about my knee. I would have been better off not finding this out.
OK, Im done acknowledging this whole stupid thing.
Signed,
Grouchy (the runner formerly known as Sunny)
(just kidding
)