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My tag used to say - I'm a Tonga Toast Junkie 😁
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2004
OP - Be patient. You'll get smart again when they are around 22ish.
As my DD(17) would say..... “Facts!”
OP - Be patient. You'll get smart again when they are around 22ish.
OP - Be patient. You'll get smart again when they are around 22ish.
Yup, except I didn't pay rent until I graduated from college and got a "real" job. If I wanted a car at 16, I needed a job to buy one and pay the insurance difference with adding me to the insurance, along with gas, repairs, and everything else.My parents approach was that since I was an adult I could have all of the expenses that go along with being an adult such as paying rent to them. I worked full time and went to university in the evenings and around lunch time. My employer let me go to school for one off classes during the day, but then I went straight back to the office. Between studying and working, I was exhausted most of the time. I would come home and go straight to bed. I barely saw my parents the entire time I went to university. If your kid has enough time to be a brat, then they're not working hard enough.
Yup, except I didn't pay rent until I graduated from college and got a "real" job. If I wanted a car at 16, I needed a job to buy one and pay the insurance difference with adding me to the insurance, along with gas, repairs, and everything else.
Once I paid rent, my bedroom was an apartment rental, thus I had complete freedom. Lost Dad when I was in college and if I wasn't going to be home for the weekend, I let Mom know. Other than that, it was expected most days I wouldn't be coming home until late in the night.
As I pay for my kid's cell phones I tell them I expect them to answer my texts as soon as they can. My normal text, usually on Sunday afternoon when they were in college, was Alive?
I don't want to know anything about what they are doing or where they are. I just wanted to know they were alive at least at that moment in time. Yeah was the normal response.
I always tell parents never ask a question to which you might not like the answer at that age. That is why Alive? was always a good one for use.
I love having Snapchat streaks with my girls. I've recommended it to other college parents, though I know not all kids/parents will do it. But it's a little glimpse into their day, and a signal they are alive, every day. And mine try to make it interesting. Plus I feel like they are more likely to send other pics, just because it's easy in the app. And DH and I flood them with cat pics, which they love.
I love having Snapchat streaks with my girls. I've recommended it to other college parents, though I know not all kids/parents will do it. But it's a little glimpse into their day, and a signal they are alive, every day. And mine try to make it interesting. Plus I feel like they are more likely to send other pics, just because it's easy in the app. And DH and I flood them with cat pics, which they love.
...Happy Birthday to your DS!It's called "leaving the nest" syndrome. They have to be rather difficult so you don't cry as bad when they leave said nest. Oh and btw, I cried and cried when each left and they didn't even come close to meeting the DIS snowflake criteria.
Good luck.......it will get better. My babies are now 32, 40 and the my 2nd DS will be celebrating his 34 tomorrow. All are settled in their own nests. :
I love this - great idea
I do have Snapchat, but I've never been able to get into it.
I should give it another try - I know my girls would do it with me.
For me/us, I've opened up communication by texting my older DD first thing in the morning, every morning, to let her know what I'm doing that day (I started this a few years ago - she moved out at 19yrs old). Then she will reply sometime during the day with what she's doing or done for the day. I started this, because I wanted her to know that just because I ask what she's up to, doesn't mean that I'm trying to get into her business - I'm just genuinely interested in what's going on in her life. So when I start off telling her about my upcoming day first she's knowing my business before she's telling me her business (which, she doesn't even have to tell me all of it if she doesn't want to - that's up to her). There have been a few days where I've skipped by accident, and then I get a text from her telling me how I forgot to text her and it made her kinda sad, which tells me she looks forward to them. Many parents have told me they wish they could do this with their teen/adult child. I tell them that it’s not fair to expect your child to share about their life if you’re not willing to do the same (obviously I don’t share everything and I think it’s safe to say my DD doesn’t either, which is ok) Communication is key regardless how you do it - it's not a cookie cutter thing - what's good for one may not be good for another. It's takes time and whole lot of patience, but eventually it's figured out
I will have to try this, although right now it seems she doesn't care what my plans are for the day unless they involve buying something for her lol.
I don't get this. What did you want her to discuss with you? Her private medical information?
I still can’t get over a 20 year old agreeing to being tracked, or being the parent and needing to do it.
My parents charged $600/mo rent back in the 90s because I was an adult.
I track my kids via their phones. They are our phones. I will track them if I want to. As for why I track them....there’s many very common and widespread mental health conditions that parents deal with on a day to day basis. Because of that we all parent in a way that feels right and comfortable to us.
Wow, I hope you had your own connecting bathroom and a walk in closet for that price.
I track my kids via their phones. They are our phones. I will track them if I want to. As for why I track them....there’s many very common and widespread mental health conditions that parents deal with on a day to day basis. Because of that we all parent in a way that feels right and comfortable to us.