20041218-cruise-friends-memories Part 3

[jhemond]

Ok, so it filtered out one of the original words, so I'll have to edit the joke

Four animals a Snake, a *chicken, a Cat and a Centipede, all heavy smokers, were playing cards together.

When the cigarettes run out, the snake, the big brother, said, "*chicken, go out and get some packs! You know, I have NO legs."

"But why me?" said the *chicken, "I have only TWO legs!" So, the task fell on Centipede with no doubt. Centipede said nothing and left the room.

The left three waited and waited, but Centipede did not show up. One hour later, they couldn't wait anymore. "What's the devil Centipede doing?" Snake said impatiently, "Cat, go out and take a look!"

When Cat gets to the door, he got frightened. Centipede was SITTING there!!!! So the angry Cat said, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't you see? I'm putting on my shoes,” said Centipede.

 

[DVC4US]

Rich and I dated for 2 1/2 years before we were married.(Still very young to say the least) We have survived through the balance of undergraduate school, medical school, residency, and 10 years in the Navy. This past June we celebrated our 20th anniversary.

Well, that's how we met. Not very exciting but at least it's different.

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by videogal1
12820

Exciting times this morning.( 12AM) ..I hopped on my nearly new electric scooter and tried to head out to round up the cat...Turned the key on and the thing went crazy and smashed into the wall going full speed..... The accelerator bar has mysteriously broken. Turn the key on and ZOOM.

I think I'll call the shop tomorrow to come and pick it up ....Luckily I have a spare scooter, although it took a sideways hit from the crazy one on its way to the wall....Good thing I wasn't facing the car... Ho hum....I'm jinxed...

Better stay in bed....oops, water bed...prolly drown...

Stacey...HELLPPPP!!!

Lynda, it's much more fun to play bumper cars with someone else.

 

[ohiominnie]

Ok, our story....well, MY story, Mike may have a different perspective....

We were both freshman at Ohio Wesleyan University in the fall of 1986. I believe we met at the library, a brief interaction, within the first week or so of starting school. Then we kept bumping into each other. One evening I was doing laundry and he came with his laundry. So we sat outside the laundry room while our clothes spun and dried for quite a long time, chatting. We ended up really close friends. I found my old journal a couple years ago and it said (and I quote) "Mike is really nice, kinda cute, but not someone I could see myself marrying." So I threw the journal out because I figured it was full of other crap too!

Well, Mike and I joined up with other friends (Bob, Trevor, Debra, Bob H) and formed a "fraternity." It was an effort to mock the real Greek system. Our fraternity was IBT ---I Bite-uh Thigh Most of us were inseperable--except Trevor--he was kinda the goofy one (how goofy, I didn't realize--in the past 5 yrs he's been in and out of prison for child molesting!!!) Anyway, I digress. So Mike and I hung out alot. We were really best friends with NO interest in anything more.

Sophomore year I moved to a different dorm. Mike became an RA in his dorm so was busy. He started dating Ann and she was very possessive. She was a bit strange and my friends and I would see Mike and Ann and refer to them as "the couple that should not reproduce." Sophomore and Junior year we each went our separate ways. I was busy with nursing clinicals and chasing loser men. Near the end of Junior year Mike and I were both in Statistics (same subject, different class times) and occassionally we'd compare notes. It was sort of fun getting back in touch.

Well, Senior year comes along and Mike and Bob pulled some strings to get themselves a room together without other roomates in exchange for being RA's for a 3rd year. They ended up in MY dorm, on MY hall (where I had lived now for 2 yrs)

Well, Ann had recently broken up with Mike and so Mike and I started going to lunch together or meeting up to study. After a couple weeks of our reunion, we were sitting in his room and I got very serious.....looked him into the eye and said "I've really enjoyed the last couple of weeks..(pause)...spending time with you....(pause)....and I really feel like we've gotten close...(pause)....and I just want to tell you...(pause) that I'm really starting to fall for........(long pause).....BOB!"

He should have known then that I'm a smart ***!

Of course, I came clean, admited my feelings and we were inseperable senior year. On the night before graduation, we were in his room and he got down on one knee and said "Karen, I've really enjoyed spending all of this time with you. And I wanted to let you know that I want to spend the rest of my life with.......BOB!" Guess I deserved that.

The hard part was the next day, explaining to my parents that now that they've finished paying for college they were going to have to help pay for my wedding!!!

We've now been married over 13 years. 2 of them happy! And those weren't consecutive days!

 

[ohiominnie]

Originally posted by DVC4US
We have survived through the balance of undergraduate school, medical school, residency, and 10 years in the Navy.

Mike and I were married between his first and second year of medical school. So we've survived medical school, residency, and one year of an ER fellowship. We've survived two kids (so far).....the breaking point may be the dog.

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by DVC4US
Jenny - still no news on the themes nights yet. I am trying to talk to Debbie about something else so I will ask her about the theme nights again. She's probably getting tired of me by now, but oh well.

Thanks. I was just wondering if anyone had found out yet. I figured it should be out soon.

 

[justmestace]

Good Morning! For you all, anyway...still upset and trying to figure out what to say to the cleaning lady.

LOVING the stories!!
Very interesting how we met eachother basically because we had something in common....sports, clubs, BOB. LOL

Keep them coming....I know the rest of you are out there!!



Back later....have a great day, everyone!!

 

[videogal1]

Originally posted by jhemond
Lynda, it's much more fun to play bumper cars with someone else.

I should have known that there was something wrong with my power-legs when, on the day the septic guy was here, doing $900 worth of work you couldn't pay me a million bucks to do, it ran me so close to the sliding glass front door the outer pane broke into a zillion bitty pieces. Lucky me, I still have the inner pane in one piece to keep the bugs out...

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by justmestace
Tell us about how/when/where you met your beloved....
Lynda...you can tell us about the first time you met Cash...I'd rather talk about the dog than my first husband.....

We were in high school (it was 1993). I was a sophomore and Jamie was a senior. We had a lot of mutual friends (he hung out with a lot of the lower-classmen). Just before Christmas break, I started to realize I liked him, then we went on break.

During the break, I talked to a good friend (we had gone to school together since kindergarten and our parents grew up together - he told me I was the big sister he never wanted). He hung out with Jamie a lot. I told him I liked Jamie and he told me to ask him out. I was too shy.

We go back to school after New Years. Finally my friend gets sick of us (I guess Jamie was bugging him too), so he pulls us both aside and say "you want to go out with him?, I nodded. "you want to go out with her?, Jamie nodded. "good, now go out.". Our first date was to see Waynes World 2 (our friend tagged along).

We went to all his senior stuff together (prom, etc). We were inseperable after the first date. We ended up going to 3 proms together. We've been through a lot. We went through him going to broadcast school 6 hours away for a year, 3 proms, both of our highschool and college graduations, deaths, births, you name it.

His Mom didn't like me (I don't think she does even now). She told the Mom of a friend that I was a B***h! We've been together for almost 11 years and married for 5 1/2.

That's our story.

 

[jhemond]

How about some airplane humor?

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[ohiominnie]

Originally posted by ohiominnie
We've now been married over 13 years. 2 of them happy! And those weren't consecutive days!

Before anyone worries, this is a joke! It's actually my dad's joke, only he can say 49 years, 2 happy!

 

[jhemond]

More airplane humor.

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached
a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY G-D!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

 

[jhemond]

One more for now.

Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him. The pilot says to the punk "There's only one parachute left, I'll fight you for it." "That won't be necessary," said the punk, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack."

 

[jhemond]

Ok. I lied. This is the last one. I promise. It's too good not to post it.

A man at the airline counter tells the rep. “I’d like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London.
The rep says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t do that.”
The man replied: Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you.

 

[jhemond]

I guess I need to start talking to myself again.

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by jhemond
I guess I need to start talking to myself again.

so here goes.

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by jhemond
so here goes.

I will stop. I promise.

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by jhemond
I will stop. I promise.

Did somebody not tell me something??





I know!!



You went cruising without me.

 

[jhemond]

Originally posted by jhemond
Did somebody not tell me something??





I know!!



You went cruising without me.

I feel like the fluff queen.

 

[Dancind]

Originally posted by justmestace
So I told him that I had promised my Mom I wouldn't go out to the car alone, and would he be so kind as to walk me to my car? (Good line, huh?)

Hey, that's part of my story, too!