Minnesota!
Shoeless in Minnesota
- Joined
- Sep 15, 1999
You have to realize that if you turn down invites eventually you won’t get any.
That's my plan!
You have to realize that if you turn down invites eventually you won’t get any.
That's my plan!
DH is just tell her, its because her house is filthy and disgusting.... and there is cat hair everywhere, so bad you can't sit down... without getting up and looking like you are part Yeti, and we don't want to hear about her political views that she will be spewing the whole time... and there was some other comments that aren't Disney friendly.... so the truth basically...
Considering the conditions you outlined about the home and the political windbagging, I'm wondering if most/all of the invitations are being declined.
I would say no more. They are being rude at this point.So we have been invited to a holiday open house party at some friends house... We declined, I rsvp'ed and just said sorry we can't make it... hope you have a great time... we are just very casual friends with... they are friend of some other friends sorta thing....
I got a text, asking why we weren't coming?
I rsvp'ed and think that should be enough... most people don't even rsvp...
I responded with "we have other obligations, sorry we can't make it and again have a wonderful time"...
She texted back... " What other OBLIGATIONS ???"
Which I did not respond back to...
DH is just tell her, its because her house is filthy and disgusting.... and there is cat hair everywhere, so bad you can't sit down... without getting up and looking like you are part Yeti, and we don't want to hear about her political views that she will be spewing the whole time... and there was some other comments that aren't Disney friendly.... so the truth basically...
We do have another function earlier in the day, so not really a out and out lie... but a stretch... for sure...
So should I once again respond "Sorry we can't make it"... and leave it at that... or just not respond back at all...
OP here...
Thanks everyone..
So I called my other friend to sorta dig around and find out what was going on... She said that most people are declining including them....and the hostess doesn't understand why people are declining for this year...
As a couple we enjoy being around them and they are super fun ... except when the topic of politic's comes up... we have all agreed to keep politics out of our conversations when we are in a group... during the last elections 2 of the guys almost came to blows when a discussion over politics got totally out of control... I really don't want to hurt their feelings, I just don't want to go to their house...
I did text her back, We have already committed ourselves elsewhere, Let's meet out for dinner soon..... She responded Okay let me know later on what's good for y'all...
Thanks for the update. I would also feel bad for your friend that everyone is declining the invite to her party - that's not a good feeling as a hostess. But I definitely understand your position, and think her prying as to why you aren't coming was out of line. I think your response about going out for dinner soon was perfect, and I'd probably try to arrange that sooner rather than later. Maybe even bring a bottle of wine or something to say sorry you couldn't make it to their party.
Agree that @LovesTimone was very gracious in how she handled the situation; a hostess pressuring guests is a little cringy, IMO. Whenever I host a large(ish) gathering I always invite more people than I actually hope to host because there will always be people who can’t (or don’t want to) make it, especially at Christmas.Your response is more than enough. I have a party every year and I know going in that there will be several people who decline. It can’t be helped at Christmas time. I have the party when I can and enjoy the people who can come.
I used to encounter this when I asked a girl out, usually they said they had to stay home to wash their hair. Not sure if that would suffice in your situation.I responded with "we have other obligations, sorry we can't make it and again have a wonderful time"...
She texted back... " What other OBLIGATIONS ???"
Unless, of course, you're not actually sorryEvery etiquette column I've read says that it's very rude to push for a reason when someone declines your invitation. All that's required is "sorry, we won't be able to make it." You were kind to reply to the first demand for a reason, I wouldn't respond to the second.
Maybe they really do feel bad about not being able to attend, but that kind of exaggerated response would get a side-eye from me. Even though I'd be thinking to myself "for the love of god, you aren't coming. I don't care that much about you to re-visit this three different times. Go away!"Agree that @LovesTimone was very gracious in how she handled the situation; a hostess pressuring guests is a little cringy, IMO. Whenever I host a large(ish) gathering I always invite more people than I actually hope to host because there will always be people who can’t (or don’t want to) make it, especially at Christmas.
Funny thing about how uncomfortable some people find having to decline though. I'm in the “polite no” camp myself and don’t batt an eyelash if people don’t accept my invitations. I’m hosting a luncheon tomorrow and about half the original guest list have declined. Three ladies in particular have fallen all over themselves with apologies and reasons they can’t come, one has contacted me three times. Enough already - it’s really NBD and it’s starting to feel weird. Maybe I should steal the “let’s get together for dinner” idea just to put it to rest.
Then be brutally honest with people. That works too.
Ha! The ladies that aren't coming are actually pretty close friends of mine so I'm guessing they're a little worried about hurting my feelings. It's not that I don't care exactly, but let's just say I can live with it.Maybe they really do feel bad about not being able to attend, but that kind of exaggerated response would get a side-eye from me. Even though I'd be thinking to myself "for the love of god, you aren't coming. I don't care that much about you to re-visit this three different times. Go away!"
Hmmm, maybe that's why I try not to host gatherings.
I wouldn't respond. You gave your RSVP. Her pushing is a bit odd.