Tiger Woods has been in a spotlight for most of the last year and now that his divorce is final, he needs some time to just chill for a few days. His
life is a roller coaster so no need for rides on this trip.
He can't afford to stop playing golf because he's still in the middle of touring with the PGA and WDW golf courses are top quality so plenty of opportunities to practice. He'll have his friend with (caddie) benefits, Steve Williams, along for the trip because it's the very least Tiger can do after a very public "throwing him under a bus" episode recently.
My thoughts:
It would be super predictable to suggest a celeb needs to stay at the Grand Floridian but we're going to change it up and put you in a Grand Villa all the way at the freakin' Saratoga Springs Spa & Resort. Since rides aren't part of the plan, you might as well get away from the parks. Plus, it has a spa right on site and you're close to some awesome things in Downtown Disney.
Since your schedule is wide open in October, let's try October 12 - 15 for your trip. On
Tuesday, have your driver pick you up at your house (living in Orlando makes going to WDW so easy...squee!!!) and get you there by 3.
After you get comfortable in your
Grand Villa (said in a pretentious voice), you should have your driver take you to the Boardwalk Inn so you can hang out in the Boardwalk area for the evening. Stop by the ESPN Club for some dinner (because professional sports players love sports restaurants, right?), enjoy some of the Boardwalk festivities and play some mini-golf.
You'll have 2 choices for mini-golf courses in the Boardwalk area - Fantasia Gardens if you're feeling silly and would like to putt around obstacles (and who doesn't?) or Fantasia Fairways which is like an itty bitty real golf course so it's super cute. Small things = cute.
Walk over to the Beach Club/Yacht Club dock where you'll get on the Breathless boat for an Illuminations Cruise. This way you can take a nice little boat ride and see Illuminations without the crowds. Back to the hotel because you've got an early tee time for Wednesday!
Wednesday, you can give your driver the day off because Disney will transport you to golf courses via taxi for free. I know the free part isn't a big deal to you but it is to me. Free taxis = cool.
Have your driver take you to the Palm course which I
think you've played before. Since the 18th hole is one of the hardest ever, this will be great practice.
Afterward, have your taxi driver take you to The Polynesian since you're pretty close to it anyway. Enjoy some food at Kona and drink a Lapu Lapu for all of us. Also, a Dole Whip from Captain Cook's for dessert!
Head back to your hotel (oops, gave the driver the day off. Call a cab? If you're feeling like a peasant, take a bus to Downtown Disney and walk the bridge back to your hotel) for a break and call the spa to have 2 masseuses (masseusi? masseuseses?) come to your villa for an in-room massage.
Take some time to chill out, take a shower and get dressed for the evening. Walk on the bridge from Saratoga Springs to Downtown Disney. Do a little shopping (may I suggest some gifts for the kids at the
LEGO store or World of Disney?), Team Mickey Athletic Club store for a Disney golf souvenir for yourself and maybe order a wood fire pizza from Wolfgang Puck Express to go.
Thursday! Another day, another early freaking morning for golf. I suppose you're used to that sort of thing by now. This time, head to the Lake Buena Vista course which is the closest one to your hotel so it shouldn't take long to get there.
Go back to your hotel, shower, order some room service. Have your driver take you to the ESPN Wide World of Sports for a minute. This isn't so much a touristy thing as much as it is a fact finding mission. Disney keeps saying the PGA is somehow involved in this place (Annika Sorenstam was even there when they had their rebranding party thing!) so your mission is to find out how the heck golf has anything to do with this building. Get back with us on that. K, thx.
Let's not forget that you've got some serious PR issues going on in the real world so let's spend the rest of Thursday in search of some photo ops to help repair that. So many choices.
Here are some good ideas:
- in front of the golf ball thing at EPCOT. No need to even enter the park if you don't want. Just stand at the gates and have it in the background. I can't decide if it's redundant or meta or ironic to have a golfer posing in front of a giant golf ball building but it seems like a good idea. Make sure to kids get in the pics.
- I take it back. Maybe you
should step just inside EPCOT and let a PhotoPass photographer snap a pic of you with EPCOT in the background and you'll be cupping your hand where they will theoretically insert Tink later. Except for that one time my BFF and I cupped our hands together and they forgot to insert Tink and we just looked like idiots. If Disney forgets, use Photoshop or call the Photopass people and ask them to add it. With Tink = super cute. Without Tink = super awkward.
- Need to find some characters to take a pic with because it just wouldn't be a Disney photo op without some. How about finding some at Chef Mickey's in the Contemporary? Lots of characters and kids and wheeeee......twirling napkins! Nothing says "I'm fun and nice, I swear!" like a grown man twirling napkins with Disney characters, amiright?
Bad idea:
- pics with princesses. Just don't.
I'm sure after all of your photo opping, you'll be ready to head back and call it a night.
Friday morning, you'll need to get yourself checked out of your hotel by 11. If you're feeling up to it, stop for some Tonga Toast and Kona coffee at the Poly before heading out of the WDW resort area.
Come back soon. Bring the kids!
Update/Correction: Breathless cruises aren't available but Mr. Woods could choose 1 of the other Illuminations cruises instead.