OT: i need a hug - edited 21/07/12: we've cancelled :(

[alicia1506]

so, most of you know i've been sick. i had major surgery, and then developed complications from the surgery. since returning from the surgery, my work, while supportive of my need for time off for recovery and dealing with the complications, have been making grumpy noises about the amount of time i was taking.

it got to the point where the grumpy noises started becoming grumblings, and then a dull roar. a few days ago, my manager said she was afraid my job security was in jeopardy. so i scheduled a meeting with my 2up manager to see where i stood.

turns out all their goodwill was at an end, and i had a decision to make... they fire me, or i quit... either way, i get paid out my annual leave & long service leave, and i lose my job. i don't have much leave, so it will barely help keep us afloat & pay for our trip expenses... so i chose to resign. all of my colleagues are sad i am leaving, and my immediate managers have all promised glowing letters of recommendations but still... i am heartbroken by this.

none of my colleagues were 'friends' per se, but i have spent a huge chunk of the last 3 years with them, day in and day out. it will be sad to leave them.

i won't be able to get another job straight away, i will have to take some time to rest & recover from this illness, which means... we are on one wage only now...

crunching the numbers, this means we are down to bread & water rations, and can barely pay the bills, but we may be able to eke out an existence...

for our trip??? i have had to swap us from concierge to steerage on the cruise (lol, inside cabin, magical porthole) and cancel our stay at the DLH and character breakfast and move us offsite.

we have gone from luxe to budget in the space of a day, and all because i couldn't control my stupid body and how sick i have been. i feel like a failure. i feel like i have ruined this beautiful, romantic trip that carlo wanted. i won't be contributing to our income, but i will be contributing to our expenses... i feel like i've let everyone down, and my sister calls me tonight to say that they're in for the trip next year... the trip, i'm supposed to be organising, and i don't even know if i'll have a job, or whether we can save that money between now and then.

i know this is dramatic, and things will surely look up and there's a silver lining to this i probably haven't seen yet, but still...

i feel terrible.

 

[PrincessInOz]

Oh Alicia.



You need more than a hug. I wish I could say something to make your 110% healthy again; and to magically have you employed.

It sucks that your body is not what you wish it to be....take all the time you need to grieve, be sad, get angry.....and then focus on getting well again.

 

[queenie82]

I'm so very very very sorry

After all you've been through you know Carlo still loves you and will be there to support you through everything. But I know you still will feel this guilt no matter what anyone says.

Just make the most of the time off and rest up and get yourself well so you're right and ready for the next job
Your health after all IS the most important thing of all. You could be in with the crew on deck 1 and you and Carlo would STILL be on a Cruise ship with MICKEY!!!!

 

[ExcitedSam]

Oh no Alicia! What a sucky predicament. Concentrate on getting yourself well and then you can get out there and find someone who appreciates you.

I'm not sure what you do, but I'm surprised they can do that especially if you still have an entitlement of leave left to take!?

Anyway, I'm sure things will work out, just try not to stress in-between!

 

[becpee]

I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but maybe think about putting the trip on the backburner?
It sounds like things will be tough for the next few months, take time to recover, then look further ahead.
What I fail to understand though, is they basically sack you then give a glowing recommendation? With that i'd maybe consult a workplace lawyer to look over their documentation to make sure they dotted their i's and crossed their t's because it sounds like they have no grounds.

 

[BigDisneyOE]

Oh Alicia I'm so sorry to hear about what's gone on at your work. Sounds like you handled the situation with honestly and frankness but have been forced to make a very hard decision. This weekend you tuck up warm with Carlo on the couch and have gentle talks about the future and what you both want. Timelines can be shifted out if you need to, the most important thing is to have a man that really loves and cares for you - he's priceless and this will just be another thing that will strengthen your relationship. Mickey will be there, when the time is right for you. Hugs to you, a very hard week.

 

[battymum]

Thats what I am thinking becpee . I think you have already paid for flights haven't you? Maybe consider dropping the cruise and even the dlr bit and spend the entire time at WDW, that can't be bad, stay at Pop. You and Carlo are planning a lifetime together Disney cruiselines aren't going anywhere ! I know it's hard but you will still have a great holiday. As for next years trip put that right out of the picture for now.

 

[alicia1506]

there is a clause in my contract that says that leave must be reasonable and expected.

by this, they deem it to be approx 10 days per year.

i have had (in 12 months) 78 days of leave. most of this over the last 6 months, all due to surgery, recuperation and the current leave. yes, this is a lot. it's huge. it's embarassing from a personal and professional perspective. i've taken like... 2 and a half months off... it is all backed by medical certificates. they have very specifically stated that they were not sacking me because i am sick. they have chosen to sack me because my leave creates an increased workload for the business and they feel that the leave is both unreasonable and does not meet the conditions of my contract.

they told me very clearly that their next step would be to move to a termination of employment arrangement. i made the decision to resign as a 'nicer' way to end my employment and the fact that it sounds better to prospective employers to say that i resigned due to health issues that were taking me away from my job, rather than i was fired for taking too much time off... i know it's semantics, but i've worked in HR and done recruitment, so i know semantics matter.

one of my friends works for a law firm and it's really not worth my time trying to fight this... to be honest, i just want to get healthy and better and be able to move on...

in my job, i have outperformed all benchmarks, criteria and performance standards. i have excelled at everything they have given me, implemented projects to speed up efficiency, designed quality programs to ensure consistent standards against operational goals, etc. i'm an awesome employee. but the leave is apparently a black mark for them, and they don't care about all the good stuff with my current leave...

so now.. it is what it is...

carlo and i, we talked a lot about keeping the trip vs trashing the trip, and while we'd get some money back, we'd also still be out quite a bit, eg non-refundable airfares etc. we figured may as well still go and make the most of it and end the year on a high.

at least this way:

a - my house will get cleaned, no excuse not to spring clean every inch of it now
b - i can work my butt off exercising with all that free time i have
c - i can eat healthy, cause junk food just isn't necessary and costs too much
d - less expenses cause i'll be in the house all day, cleaning, exercising and not eating
e - lots of time to focus on being sick and then healing up...
f - lots of time to spend on the DIS planning and budgeting for our trip to make it as fun & cheap as possible

as for employment...

i have over 10 yrs in financial services, from everything from banking and consumer credit, to superannuation, insurance, online transaction processing and now salary packaging. i'm sure i'll be able to find something to occupy me...

maybe after a month or so of rest & recuperation, i can look at something part time in my local area, eg retail or hospitality or something... something that can give me some $$ but not full time hours, so i can still spend some time at home still recuperating.... hrmm... food for thought!!!

 

[Aust]

I'm really sorry to hear that - it seems really unfair, seeing as you have medical certificates etc. Your company will miss out in the long term from losing your experience and knowledge.

If it were me I'd probably still go on the trip, both because of the non refundable airfares etc, and also it will lift your spirits to have something to plan and look forward to. But I'd probably scale it back too..you'll still have a great time even if you go for the less expensive options, and will have less stress.

 

[becpee]

there is a clause in my contract that says that leave must be reasonable and expected.

by this, they deem it to be approx 10 days per year.

i have had (in 12 months) 78 days of leave. most of this over the last 6 months, all due to surgery, recuperation and the current leave. yes, this is a lot. it's huge. it's embarassing from a personal and professional perspective. i've taken like... 2 and a half months off... it is all backed by medical certificates. they have very specifically stated that they were not sacking me because i am sick. they have chosen to sack me because my leave creates an increased workload for the business and they feel that the leave is both unreasonable and does not meet the conditions of my contract.

they told me very clearly that their next step would be to move to a termination of employment arrangement. i made the decision to resign as a 'nicer' way to end my employment and the fact that it sounds better to prospective employers to say that i resigned due to health issues that were taking me away from my job, rather than i was fired for taking too much time off... i know it's semantics, but i've worked in HR and done recruitment, so i know semantics matter.

one of my friends works for a law firm and it's really not worth my time trying to fight this... to be honest, i just want to get healthy and better and be able to move on...

in my job, i have outperformed all benchmarks, criteria and performance standards. i have excelled at everything they have given me, implemented projects to speed up efficiency, designed quality programs to ensure consistent standards against operational goals, etc. i'm an awesome employee. but the leave is apparently a black mark for them, and they don't care about all the good stuff with my current leave...

so now.. it is what it is...

carlo and i, we talked a lot about keeping the trip vs trashing the trip, and while we'd get some money back, we'd also still be out quite a bit, eg non-refundable airfares etc. we figured may as well still go and make the most of it and end the year on a high.

at least this way:

a - my house will get cleaned, no excuse not to spring clean every inch of it now
b - i can work my butt off exercising with all that free time i have
c - i can eat healthy, cause junk food just isn't necessary and costs too much
d - less expenses cause i'll be in the house all day, cleaning, exercising and not eating
e - lots of time to focus on being sick and then healing up...
f - lots of time to spend on the DIS planning and budgeting for our trip to make it as fun & cheap as possible

as for employment...

i have over 10 yrs in financial services, from everything from banking and consumer credit, to superannuation, insurance, online transaction processing and now salary packaging. i'm sure i'll be able to find something to occupy me...

maybe after a month or so of rest & recuperation, i can look at something part time in my local area, eg retail or hospitality or something... something that can give me some $$ but not full time hours, so i can still spend some time at home still recuperating.... hrmm... food for thought!!!

It still sounds all very murky to me, if your performance has been not up to scratch thats a whole different thing, but I don't see why they couldn't ask you to lighten your workload until you're up to speed again, find you a jobshare? Sounds to me like they want heads and yours is the easiest, workplace lawyers can find things in things that you wouldn't even think about, it's what they do, my DH was there and won, I know you want to leave it but if they want you to leave they should be packaging you out and not making you an offer you can't refuse.

As for positions, less stress, start small, find something 10 hours a week, regain your strength, and work your way up.

I really feel for you right now, such a tough situation to be in

 

[alicia1506]

I'm really sorry to hear that - it seems really unfair, seeing as you have medical certificates etc. Your company will miss out in the long term from losing your experience and knowledge.

If it were me I'd probably still go on the trip, both because of the non refundable airfares etc, and also it will lift your spirits to have something to plan and look forward to. But I'd probably scale it back too..you'll still have a great time even if you go for the less expensive options, and will have less stress.

thats what i was thinking .. we dont need to do as many tours, no need for as many souvenirs etc so we should still be able to enjoy ourselves, even for free and besides... this way carlo gets to see the magic porthole rooms which is what he originally wanted to say in, but i convinced him going bigger & better was worth it.. now we get what we had originally planned

 

[Andona]

thats what i was thinking .. we dont need to do as many tours, no need for as many souvenirs etc so we should still be able to enjoy ourselves, even for free and besides... this way carlo gets to see the magic porthole rooms which is what he originally wanted to say in, but i convinced him going bigger & better was worth it.. now we get what we had originally planned

Alicia, so so sorry to hear your news I do think you were wise to choose to resign rather than to be terminated, but it makes me angry to see that you have been treated so badly for something that is beyond your control. Especially as you had done everything by the book and have medical certificates for all your absences.

I hope that you'll now really be able to give your body the rest it needs to make a full recovery. As for the trip, you have some time now to think about what is the best thing to do., whether that is to postpone it for a while or go when you planned but with some changes. If you go ahead then im sure you and Carlo will have a wonderful time no matter what changes you have to make. If you find that its just not possible to go when you planned is there a chance that even though your airfares aRe non-refindable, that you could change the dates?

Look after yourself!

Andona

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[alicia1506]

Just got confirmation from our TA that our refunds have been processed ... Problem is that The refunds are being sent everywhere.. Some to my bank account. Some to a credit card and some to a closed card we have paid off!!! So 7-10 days for the disney refund then 3-5 for my bank to locate it ... Grrr. This has been a crap week

 

[aussietravellers]

so, most of you know i've been sick. i had major surgery, and then developed complications from the surgery. since returning from the surgery, my work, while supportive of my need for time off for recovery and dealing with the complications, have been making grumpy noises about the amount of time i was taking.

it got to the point where the grumpy noises started becoming grumblings, and then a dull roar. a few days ago, my manager said she was afraid my job security was in jeopardy. so i scheduled a meeting with my 2up manager to see where i stood.

turns out all their goodwill was at an end, and i had a decision to make... they fire me, or i quit... either way, i get paid out my annual leave & long service leave, and i lose my job. i don't have much leave, so it will barely help keep us afloat & pay for our trip expenses... so i chose to resign. all of my colleagues are sad i am leaving, and my immediate managers have all promised glowing letters of recommendations but still... i am heartbroken by this.

none of my colleagues were 'friends' per se, but i have spent a huge chunk of the last 3 years with them, day in and day out. it will be sad to leave them.

i won't be able to get another job straight away, i will have to take some time to rest & recover from this illness, which means... we are on one wage only now...

crunching the numbers, this means we are down to bread & water rations, and can barely pay the bills, but we may be able to eke out an existence...

for our trip??? i have had to swap us from concierge to steerage on the cruise (lol, inside cabin, magical porthole) and cancel our stay at the DLH and character breakfast and move us offsite.

we have gone from luxe to budget in the space of a day, and all because i couldn't control my stupid body and how sick i have been. i feel like a failure. i feel like i have ruined this beautiful, romantic trip that carlo wanted. i won't be contributing to our income, but i will be contributing to our expenses... i feel like i've let everyone down, and my sister calls me tonight to say that they're in for the trip next year... the trip, i'm supposed to be organising, and i don't even know if i'll have a job, or whether we can save that money between now and then.

i know this is dramatic, and things will surely look up and there's a silver lining to this i probably haven't seen yet, but still...

i feel terrible.

Oh Alicia, I'm so sorry

 

[Travel Mum]

Yes Alicia, I'm so sorry and my thoughts are with you

 

[hjd0411]

Alicia - I am so sorry to hear of your troubles.
It's so unfair of an employer to act the way yours did. It seems to me they are nothing more than bullies. I am a firm believer in karma (having seen it work for me in an employment situation many years ago ). They will get what is their due.
Who knows, in the long run they have probably done you a big favour. Whilst it is upsetting now, it has opened up all sorts of possibilities for you, the best of which is you now have the time to get yourself well and fit without worrying about what someone else thinks.
I'm glad you and Carlo are still going to go on your holiday - it gives you something to look forward to. It will still be a great holiday regardless of what cabin you have on the ship - you probably won't be in there too long each day anyway!
You will bounce back from this - you have Carlo's support which is most important, plus that of your family and friends. Oh and all of us here, too!! Concentrrate on getting well, and then get your dream job! It's out there for you.

 

[alicia1506]

Alicia - I am so sorry to hear of your troubles.
It's so unfair of an employer to act the way yours did. It seems to me they are nothing more than bullies. I am a firm believer in karma (having seen it work for me in an employment situation many years ago ). They will get what is their due.
Who knows, in the long run they have probably done you a big favour. Whilst it is upsetting now, it has opened up all sorts of possibilities for you, the best of which is you now have the time to get yourself well and fit without worrying about what someone else thinks.
I'm glad you and Carlo are still going to go on your holiday - it gives you something to look forward to. It will still be a great holiday regardless of what cabin you have on the ship - you probably won't be in there too long each day anyway!
You will bounce back from this - you have Carlo's support which is most important, plus that of your family and friends. Oh and all of us here, too!! Concentrrate on getting well, and then get your dream job! It's out there for you.

lol... yes, i do hope that karma is a big fat elephant who squishes them like a bug!!!

i have done quite a bit of juggling of funds and frantic sums in the last 24 hours but i think i have a new plan for our trip. still the same trip essentially, just with some of the frills cut out. i'm comfortable with what we've decided to do. we did look at cancelling, but we still would have been out of pocket approx $3500, and the thought of throwing $3500 down the drain for non-refundable tickets and airfares etc just made no sense, so we're still going.

it will be hard for us financially, but we'll get through it. i'm not telling my family about this for a little while, just to give us some breathing room and to stop them from stressing about us (my parents are huge stressers, i wonder where i get it from) plus they're dealing with my g'ma who has dementia, so they really don't need this on their plate as well

you guys all rock!!! you have been such a support and inspiration and a great sounding board for all of my woes!! i love being able to come onto the DIS each day and share about what's going on in our lives, and the friendships i've made on here have been amazing, and i want you guys to know i appreciate everything!!!

 

[frangipanisam]

That is terrible news Alicia Karma will get them because like everyone else has said its stupid to put you in that position to quit or be fired if your good at your job just because you've had to take days off for health reasons

Great to hear that you've already managed to rework your trip though fingers are crossed that when you look for some part time or casual work you get some to help you guys out with your finances

 

[5ofus]

Oh Alicia, big for you.

I think your work has treated you appallingly. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but now, as you said, you can fully concentrate on getting your full health back.

 

[australiankaren]

yep, life can suck big time ......but when one door closes another one opens. Life has a funny way of directing us in the direction it wants us to go, whether its willingly or by force

I have seen so much "good luck & fortune" in regards to both my boys employment opportunities this year,going from unemployed and broke one week , to earning a great wage/ getting an apprenticeship the next week... I am sure you will be able to waltz in to another job when you are well enough.

remember you may be able to receive sickness benefits, and get a health care card. Get yourself sorted physically, and everything else can just wait.

as for your trip, who cares if you stay budget, you are travelling with your soul mate, so really what more would any girl want. We put such pressure on ourselves re these trips, we are nuts!

great thing about the USA is the meals are so big, you only need to buy one, the dollar is at 1.04 (andona dont look) and you really can travel on a budget and have a great time. My best overseas trips have been when we were counting every cent, so had to improvise and experiment....

so thinking of you and the man, take it one day at a time....