I join the others here in offering sincere condolences - it's plain you are grieving very deeply.
I would gently suggest that those people in your life who are still present and regularly checking on you absolutely DO care for you; they've just reached an awkward stage where what they have to offer is no longer comforting or useful to you where you're at.
Please consider looking for comfort and support amongst others who truly understand your feelings. Organizations like GrieffShare
https://www.griefshare.org/about are specifically for bereaved parents and can be an absolute lifeline to those drowning in pain that none of us can really comprehend when we haven't experienced the same kind of loss.
@SirDuff 's suggestion about opening up here may also help - there's no lack of patient, compassionate listeners on the CB. I wish you well.